The Grace Street Blog

“Jesus said, ‘Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.’” – Luke 23:34

When we get hurt, it is so difficult to avoid taking vengeance into our own hands. Whether it be as simple as someone cutting you off in traffic or as deep as rejection or betrayal, thoughts of seeking revenge is not unusual for many.

Growing up, I struggled a lot with anger. Sometimes I would explode and other times I would use that frustration as fuel to build the perfect plan to get back at those who hurt me. It was an exhausting way to live. Always on edge. Always tense. Always in defense mode.

Though I have grown quite a bit, I would be lying if I didn’t admit I struggle with those thoughts to this day. Rarely do I ever explode on others anymore, but suppressing my anger and turning it into petty revenge is unfortunately something I still have to talk myself out of very often.

I always thought suppressing these feelings was the key to getting better. “As long as no one saw me upset, I’d be okay.” I thought. But as I have been reading through 2 Samuel, I’ve noticed a trend that pointed to the perspective I believe Christ calls us to have in moments of aggravation.

2 Samuel begins with David finding out his pursuer, Saul, is dead. To many, this would seem like good news. But David responds unexpectedly. He not only mourns for Saul, but proceeds to order the killing of the man who reported this news. He did this because the man was the one who killed Saul after surviving his initial critical injury (v.9-10).

Though David could have awarded this man for ending Saul’s life, he clarified that it is only God’s right to end the life of an anointed one.

Regardless of the pain, fear, and stress Saul caused David, he humbled himself before God and recognized that a desire for revenge had to place in his heart if he sought to honor God above all else.

A similar instance happened later in chapter 4 as two men brought the head of Ish-Bosheth, son of Saul, to David thinking they would gain praise. But again, David put them to death for murder.

“As surely as the Lord lives, who has delivered me out of every trouble, when someone told me, ‘Saul is dead’, and thought he was bringing good news, I seized him and put him to death in Ziklag. That was the reward I gave him for this news! How much more – when wicked men have killed an innocent man in his own house and on his own bed – should I not now demand his blood from your hand and rid the earth of you!”, responded David.

Thankfully for our sake, Jesus decided to deal with us differently despite our prideful and vengeful heart. Christ, through the His death on the cross actually revealed two critical points:

• Though fully justified in condemning us, Jesus chose to sacrifice Himself instead.
• Jesus, on that cross crying “Father, forgive them for they know not what they do.” led in the humility and forgiveness He calls us to give to others.

We do not have to wonder if forgiveness brings more satisfaction than revenge. We can be sure that freedom, healing, reconciliation, and transformation is all available when we choose to walk in the way of Jesus instead of our idea of appropriate judgement. Not because we shouldn’t feel okay feeling upset after getting hurt, but because we know honoring God means loving others regardless of the circumstance. Loving others doesn’t mean you have to be their best friend or even interact with them often. It means releasing the debt you continue holding against them.

And let me be very clear; loving others can and honestly should be done with boundaries. Some may have more than others, but a vengeful heart should never be something we try to justify.

My dear friend, there are wounds I got years ago that still trigger panic attacks to this day, but even then, I must choose to love. Even when others don’t ask for forgiveness, may we be a people who remember daily the forgiveness that we could never earn but still received from Jesus. May our hearts yearn for the salvation of those around us, that even when others inflict pain on us, we are desperate to show them how Christ’s love changed us and is free for them too.

Vengeance is not ours. It never will be. And praise God that weight is not on us. Let forgiveness and love drive our thoughts and actions in even the most painful hurts.

Thoughts to Consider:

What wounds in your life still tempt your heart toward bitterness or revenge?

How might bitterness be preventing you from experiencing the peace God wants for your heart?

How often do you pray for the healing or salvation of those who hurt you?

Consider the beauty of a heart so transformed by grace that it chooses love even while hurting.

“Jesus said, ‘Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.’” – Luke 23:34