Leviticus 13

It’s a terrible feeling to be clueless. I don’t have a problem admitting I don’t know something, as long as the knowledge is attainable in a somewhat immediate way. But recently there has been a pile of moments growing where I feel helpless. Or plainly put, dumb.

This morning was one of those moments, but as I write this evening, I am grateful for what God is revealing.

I read Leviticus 13 today…

If you know what that’s about, it’s not the most exciting portion of scripture. And this morning, I struggled when I finished. I normally make a final quick prayer of gratitude for God’s Word made available to me and for whatever it was that He taught me. But today, I couldn’t think of a single thing I learned besides to beware of “defiling skin diseases”(v. 2).

I gave thanks, but then I sat there for a minute. A while back, I vowed to get through the whole Bible without commentaries since it’s my first time and because of my past problem with idolizing knowledge over the Word and presence of God Himself. So that was not the option I wanted to resort to. But then, in just a moment, I said something along the lines of, “Holy Spirit, please open my eyes, because I don’t know what you’re trying to say through that. But I believe all your Word is relevant and used for teaching us.”

Honestly, it shocked me that I thought of that. Perhaps that was your first thought to my dilemma, but it surely wasn’t mine. So as the day progressed, and I reflected on a few topics God has placed on my mind lately regarding our dedication to Him, I realized how much I needed that prayer this morning.

This culture is so very individualistic. Now, as an introvert, I don’t mind doing everything myself (my pride thinks I’ll do it better alone anyways). But that is not how we ought to be. That is not how God created us.

We are made for community. And I don’t just mean with other humans, but deep community with God as well.

Spending time with Him is my favorite thing each morning. Somehow, I have managed to do it without coffee now, and I still find it to be my favorite time. But when I skip days, as I unfortunately did the recent weekend, I feel the heaviness of dependency. I feel the weight of not giving my first fruits to God.

I immediately felt great anxiety and hopelessness again and the terrible feeling of being rushed for no reason. Let me be clear, I still struggle with all of those feelings on a weekly basis, but normally the feeling of God’s presences overcomes it all, giving me hope and truth to speak over it. God is still good if the healing isn’t total, for one day it will be.

But today it was different. I felt better, but still confused on His teaching and a few other things I’ve been thinking about. Yet I was at peace. Not because I discovered what was so significant about the skin diseased people in Leviticus 13, but because I realized I was dependent again on God. Not completely, but surely it is my priority again.

I have set boundaries with myself to seek His unexplainable joy and patience at my job, His truth and hope over my mental battles, and His strength and faith in my uncertainties.

My dear friend, dependency on Jesus means so much more than trusting Him in big trials that you can’t control anyways. It is more than giving up your Sunday mornings for church. And it is even more than devoting the first portion of your day to Him. It is all those and then some. We must not let the individualism or complacency of this culture to let us believe we can live a single breath without God. That “self-sufficient” life is not what we were made for and it is only by Him alone we can be made new and better.

So when you consider who He is, as our worthy Lord, and who we are, a helpless sinner, may we grow hungry after a dependent life on Him. For who else defeated our destined condemnation and freed us from chains we sold ourselves to? No one, but Jesus. May He be your everything in every area of your life.