“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,”
declares the Lord. – Isaiah 55:8

Sitting down and writing these blogs has been a difficult task for me to do lately. The amount of sticky notes with Bible verses, draft titles, and moving quotes on my desk have just been piling up for the last month without any blogs actually being written. If I told you a lack of inspiration was the problem I am facing, you may think I am just being lazy, because the endless papers with ideas on my desk would say otherwise. But indeed, I have come to a place where I feel stuck. The issue though, is that I am not stuck on what to write for this blog, rather, what to write for another project I have been praying about and working on for over a year.

Then it hit me, as conviction typically does in my most anxious moments…Isaiah 55:8, “‘For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways.’ declares the Lord.”

For the last couple weeks, I have been reading Proverbs while going Timothy Keller’s devotional “God’s Wisdom for Navigating Life”. Now if you know me, I am a very passionate person when it comes to the things I steward, but I am extremely hesitant to make big decisions. Prayer is a discipline I deeply rely on in my decision making process. Though when I finally do come to a sense of peace in a specific pathway, I tend to put all my eggs in that basket and rarely change course by choice.

That, my friend, is what happened last year when I felt guided to start the process of this project I am now stuck on. I prayed for months on end. I felt peace about it. I had the opportunity to start the research. So I did. I put every ounce of hope into it and began altering my lifestyle around being able to work on it. And for a while, it felt right. But unfortunately, that while has come to a halt. I lost inspiration. I could not, for the life of me, put together words or feel confident that the research I was doing was the necessary research I needed. And sure enough, I came to a point where I stood lost, drained, and aggravated with myself for not being able to discern the “right” next move.

Then the word humility flooded my mind.

I have been reading Proverbs for about two an a half weeks now, and kept seeing wisdom described in various ways. It sounded so very intriguing and I thought, “If I could just gain an ounce of this priceless gift, this project could help so many people and be so transformative.” That was until I read chapter 11, verse 2, “When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom.”

Now at this point in Proverbs, humility has shared sentences with wisdom a million times. So this was not shocking news. But it was convicting. Because my alarm had just went off a few days prior that said it was “blog post day”. That goes off every other week due my struggle with meeting deadlines. And if you haven’t noticed, it had a been a while since I posted.

All at once, it finally clicked. I had been so very adamant about this project working, that I rejected every word God has put in my heart to share on this blog because in my eyes, “the project has potential to be more influential, so the blog can wait.” I claimed to be a willing vessel, while filtering what God poured in me – only obeying if I believed it was “worth it.”

I wanted this project to be completed so badly that I refused to accept any other guidance. In my pursuit of what I thought was wisdom, was truly pride. For the beginning of this journey may have been inspired by the Spirit, but at some point, I stopped listening and started demanding wisdom that suited my preference.

Perhaps the greatest struggle of a vision or dream lead by God is that humility along every part of the process is the only way to reach it.

Humility is not just surrendering ourselves to the purposes God has for us. It also means surrendering the our path to get there. Pride has the power to lead us away from God, but it also has the power to tempt us to control what God has called us to simply steward for Him. My conviction with improper stewardship of this blog has opened my eyes to see that, indeed, I may deeply desire this project I am working on to be completed soon because I find great value in it, though that does not change the fact that it was not my vision first. What God has laid on my heart ought to be handled in the way He desires. For what are we to be but humble stewards of every breath God has put in our lungs and every motion He has given our bodies the ability to do?

My dear friend, letting go of control is one of the most difficult things to do. Especially after feeling so much peace in a vision or dream. But do not grow weary of trusting in His time. For the company you are in has a record of having some incredible stories. A few fellow believers who endured the struggle of patience after receiving a word from the Lord were Sarah and Abraham, Joseph, David, Mary and Joseph, Moses, Joshua…and those are just a few. There is hope for the stuck, but we must not forget our duty to obey even if we do not fully understand.

Thoughts to consider:

Is there anything God has placed on your heart that you have turned into an idol?

Do you find yourself praying more about the blessing itself, than the ability to steward the blessing in an honorable way?

Are there any dreams or visions God has placed on your heart that you have given up on because the timeline didn’t match yours?

Consider what it looks like in your personal life to approach every thing that you do with a true dependency on God’s guidance.

“’For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,’ declares the Lord.” – Isaiah 55:8