The Grace Street Blog

Now the word of the Lord came to Jonah the son of Amittai, saying, ² “Arise, go to Nineveh, that great city, and call out against it, for their evil has come up before me.” ³ But Jonah rose to flee to Tarshish from the presence of the Lord. He went down to Joppa and found a ship going to Tarshish. So he paid the fare and went down into it, to go with them to Tarshish, away from the presence of the Lord.

Jonah 1:1-3 ESV

In all honesty, at this point of the year, I thought I was going to be a writing a blog about seasons ending. About what God did here during my time in West Palm Beach. But instead, I write to you about my Nineveh.

I used to love school. I used to look froward to going to class and seeing my friends every day. But as I entered this college season, all of that began to die out. Between not knowing many people, feeling so far behind everyone in my classes, and losing clarity in where God was calling me, I not only disliked school, I tried so hard to convince my family to let me drop out, do online school, or absolutely ANYTHING ELSE besides stay here.

Palm Beach Atlantic University became my Nineveh. Since around September of 2021, last semester, I began seeking other options. I prayed to God that He would help me find a way out of here that my parents would agree with. I prayed there was some way I could just leave it all behind and start fresh again so that I did not have to continue everyday only finding joy because it ends.

Fast forward to February 2022, I realized my dream career change from non-profit management to this other job that I am still trying to find the words to explain, meant that I had a reasonable excuse to leave. Palm Beach Atlantic did not offer as specific degrees as other schools did for the field I wanted to enter.

So there I was, scrolling through Google and in big old letters wrote: “Regent University Communications Degree: Concentration in Internet & Social Media”. As I read into it, it seemed like the perfect degree for what I wanted to do. And luckily for me, I was very familiar with the school as I already visited it twice last year as a potential option back when I was a senior.

From that moment on, I prayed, talked with my parents, and constantly told myself it was meant to be. After spring break, I was so pumped at the approval from the parents, I told the people I knew that I was transferring. I know, I got a little excited. I literally didn’t even apply to the school yet, but I felt like it was going to happen, so ignore my terrible rash decisions.

After I told everyone I needed to tell, I applied. It took me three days to apply because I kept messing up or getting distracted when I started the application. I probably should have saw that as a sign, but when I am on a mission… I am on a mission and absolutely nothing can convince me to stop.

That was until I sent the application in. Immediately I realized what I did. I thought it was right but I felt it was wrong.

Because of the way I am, I don’t often ask people for prayer for things that are personal to me. But as I was leaving youth the other day, my heart began to race because I knew I needed help but I didn’t want to ask. Yet suddenly, I stopped. Turned around and saw my friends and fellow youth leaders walking inside. I don’t know what got into me at that moment when I saw them, but I began to walk. Well, more like speed walk. Every step I took, my heart raced even more. Then I reached the point where they were and stopped, looked at them and straight up asked for prayer. And at that moment, my heart was still breathing heavy as it was slightly anxious about the conversation that was about to follow that moment, but there was peace. It was a weight lifted that I most certainly did not expect.

Long story short, after good conversations with my friends and family and a small mental breakdown, I realized where God’s peace was. It was not in transferring. It was not in dropping out. It was not in trying to start fresh. It was here. In Downtown West Palm Beach.

For the first time since September, I realized where God called me to be. I found my Nineveh.

Why do I call it Nineveh and not my promise land or something that reflects a blessing? Well, because in my eyes for the longest time, it was not a blessing. I wanted out. I wanted to go anywhere but here. I did not believe God could use me or help me as I was surrounded by a bunch of people who seemed to be so very different than me. Selfish, I know. But I rather be honest because I believe communion is found within vulnerability.

I tried everything in my power to get away, yet God lead me back here. Crazy how for the rest of my life, I can truthfully say, I understand the thoughts of the man who was swallowed by a fish. Silly but comforting to know God is the same God and knows how to handle the runners like me and Jonah.

So now here I am. In a land I still feel somewhat uncomfortable in, but can rest assured as I know it is the land where God guided me.

What a gracious God we serve. Yet this attempted runaway did not stray from the end Jonah’s story. If you recall, Jonah had a few consequences of his actions. And just like that, because of my rash decisions, I lost the opportunity to dorm with my closest friends. I am left with picking classes from everyone’s leftovers. And I missed out on signing up for things during the summer because I didn’t think I would be here.

This year has taught me to much. Even more now as I step back and realize the work God has been orchestrating all along. If only I didn’t fear what God already promised He was going to be with me in, I could have been blessed by and been a blessing to my Nineveh. So…what’s yours?