Worship

Consistency in Chaos

bible, Christian lifestyle, encouragement, prayer

When life piles up, the circumstances we are in typically end up determining so much more than we may realize. They alter how we hope, what we expect, and how we steward our time. And unfortunately, our faith and relationship with God falls victim to our seasons as well.

But what if that wasn’t how it had to be? What if the consistency in which we long to maintain in our connection and perspective of God could last and stand firm amidst the everchanging uncertainties of life?

In the last few weeks, I have endured quite some change. And allow me to level with you real quick, I absolutely despise change. Or at least major changes. But nonetheless, things happened and my first reaction regarding how it affected my time, energy, and faith in God, was to justify my distracted mind with a saying that I have heard and said a million times before, “When everything settles again, I will get back on track…”

Oh, but that is just it. As we enter into this fall season, school starts again, more holidays come, we join new churches, we live in new places, and we have loads of new responsibilities.

In an attempt to give ourselves peace, we mask our overwhelmed hearts by justifying improper stewardship.

Stewardship is the management of things that do not belong to oneself. I say that because despite the work we do, what we have is ultimately from God, including our time. And what we do with our time is supposed to be for God. So my friend, how is it that you steward your life for His glory?

Because of the lack of accountability we often hold ourselves to, our relationship with God tends to be one of the first priorities in our lives that gets put on hold during changing seasons. Perhaps it is because God will not verbally scold us if we dismiss Him. Or maybe we think we have to come 100% “ready” or it’s pointless. Or honestly, we just think it can wait because…”God understands the pressure we are enduring right now.”

Whatever it may be that excuses our behavior, we live in a culture that promotes “me-time” before “God time”.

Though, I want you to trace back with me and look at the goals we are often pursuing when we build a mindset of believing God can be put on hold…

For me, it’s typically peace. But it could also be a longing for hope in working out the most prevalent things at the moment. Or it could be the desire for grace and acceptance as we begin realizing we have a lot of tasks to do with little time and draining energy. It could be one or all of these things. But my dear friend, I hope you can stop and take a breath as you realize these things; peace, hope, and acceptance, are all abundantly sourced in God first.

Typically, during the weeks preceding major changes, I plan a LOT. Because despite the fact that the majority of things remain outside of my control, an agenda tends to bring a sense of peace in my mind as I name and categorize all of the chaos. This is my skewed idea of stewardship as I seek God through faulty vessels.

Planning is not a sin by any means. But when we go about it in a way that does not first tune into the guidance and wisdom of the Holy Spirit, we are building a foundation of life without the presence of God being invited in. And without His presence, we so easily lose sight of our purpose, identity, and vision of hope.

The high school worship band at my church wrote a song called “Faith of Convenience” with lyrics that will truly make you consider this very discussion.

Could it be, that amidst even the most ordinary parts of our lives…the things we see as simple “everyday responsibilities” have the capability of being stewarded in a way that points to Jesus? And is it possible to remain faithful in our journey with God during the chaos?

I strongly believe so. And with that, my friend, as you begin a new season, or perhaps reevaluate your current one, I challenge you to ask these questions during your planning: Does your life honor God? Does it bring Him glory? Does it push you further in the pursuit of sanctification? Is your quiet time with Him established before all other things?

Consistency in the uncertainty is not impossible. As Christ made His heart and mission known in every aspect of His being, I encourage you that the Holy Spirit can cultivate a transformation that does just that…in the chaos and the mundane.

“Faith of Convenience” – MVMNT Music

The Danger of Little Depth

christian, lifestyle, prayer

“But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few will find it.” – Matthew 7:14

Over the last year, I have been considering the true depth of my faith and relationship with God more than ever before. Unfortunately, however, it was not until recently I understood the value of diving that deep. In fear of either disappointment or a crumbled pride, I pushed away the potential of not being as close to God as I thought, which in turn, lead to a spiral of self-loathing. Though in this search, He who is faithful has done nothing but reveal His sweet and compassionate character time and time again.

Matthew 7:7 begins a section on the opportunity we as believers have to seek from God with confidence. Of course recognizing His authority over ours first, this scripture describes the desire God has for us to ask, seek, and knock. Like a child in awe, yet confused of the world around them, we have the freedom to bring our concerns to God. And like a loving father who reveals truth with grace, so our God does with us.

Deconstruction of the faith has been a topic recently repeated by those around me. Though, not in the way it is commonly known. Rather than the layered demolition of one’s belief in God, I have been contemplating the potentially beautiful outcome of something like deconstruction, but with the goal of developing a more genuine personal faith. I feel as though questions in the Church and amongst our Christian friends have been iced over with superficial encouragement or peer-pressured manipulation to believe in something your mind considers unreasonable in every sense.

This journey I am looking into, and softly challenging you to, is not just asking your general questions you could google and answer in 3 sentences. No. My dear friend, I am speaking about the deep, honest search of our heart, soul, and mind that breaks through strongholds, lights up our hidden doubts, and reveals our greatest fears. This, I have come to believe, may be the kind of journey that brings a freedom we never knew existed. And honestly, perhaps the life we were made to live.

Fear of disappointment may be what prevents us from moving towards this in-depth search through our faith. But if God is who He claims and the sacrifice Christ made for us was enough, this kind journey will only lead to a better understanding our ourselves, God’s heart for us, and an even greater perspective of His faithfulness.

The passage after the one about seeking begins in Matthew 7:13 and reveals one of the most motivational (in my opinion) set of verses for taking on this specific challenge. Questions and honesty in our misunderstanding’s may be swept under the mat by those around you, but I do not believe the placement of these verses was a coincidence.

Just as Jesus explains the way in which we ought to come to Him with honesty, regardless of where we are in our walk, He goes on to reveal a critical note for those who claim to follow Him…

“Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.” – Matthew 7:13-14

Note that the difference between those who go through the broad gate vs the narrow is that they simply enter through the broad, but must find the narrow.

The cost of living for Jesus is dying to ourselves. Why? Because all that we are without Him is sinful. Our flesh longs for immediate satisfaction and ruthless pride. And unfortunately, our world has normalized it to where we so often overlook it’s traces that run deep within our hearts.

My dear friend, it is a tough journey because it is a convicting and humbling one. But it is better to cultivate an authentic faith that leads to life than one requiring no deeper thought as you follow the crowd on the road to destruction.

at a loss.

bible, christian, Christian lifestyle, easter, encouragement, lifestyle, prayer, Worship

I don’t really want to write anything right now. Like if I could hide away in my room for the next few years, or maybe decades, I totally would.

I write this blog on Monday, March 27th, 2023. Four days before I put down my best friend. My baby. My beloved 14 year old pekingese, Macho. I didn’t want to write anything because I didn’t want anyone to ask about him or ask how I am doing because it will just make me feel worse. But for some aggravating reason, God keeps weighing this post on my mind. And yes, I say aggravating because I REALLY don’t want to think about it, much less write and post about it. But maybe God wants to speak to someone besides me, or maybe it is just for me to look back on as the encouragement I may desperately need in the coming weeks. I guess we shall see.

One thing a lot of people don’t know about me is that I struggle a lot with being joyful. But recently, when I would think about what I have to do in four days, God has been reminding me that there is ALWAYS good to find. Crazy, I know. Believe me, He knows I think it is absolutely insane to see any glimpse of goodness in this time. But He persisted with this promise every time I would try to negotiate Him giving Macho 20 more years of life in exchange for literally anything I could give up. In all honesty, it was kind of annoying. As I said, I struggle with being joyful quite a bit. Not because I can’t see it, but because after so many disappointments in my life, I tend to not even try to look.

But that’s just it. If Jesus, in all His glory, is standing 1 foot away from me, but I keep my eyes and ears closed in the name of “protecting my heart from another disappointment”, it is not His fault that I cannot see His goodness.

I heard this song by Hannah McClure called “Always good”. I love that song…usually. But when I was thinking about what is about to happen, all the song did was make me mad. How can God ALWAYS be good, or turn things for good, if things like this have to happen? Like why even exhaust myself trying to see this glimpse of glory if it is only a result of the massive storm of pain?

Then my mind reminded my heart of this: John 3:16. Genesis 37. Genesis 6-9. Ruth. Daniel 3. and so on.

In each and every one of those stories, there was a devastating or super scary experience or event that happened just before God revealed exactly where His goodness had been the whole time. And yes, Jesus is included in the list. God Himself, lost His Son. Not by natural death, but by sacrifice because He knew it was the most loving expression anyone could do.

Ironically, Easter is in just a few weeks. But three days before that is a day that should be very dark. It’s the day Jesus died. The day that Heaven went silent, in a mixture of mourning and anticipation for the promise of the coming goodness. We call it Good Friday only because we can testify of the genuine goodness that followed that devastating event.

But what about times like now? Where the only thing in sight is the devastation. The loss. The event that honestly seems impossible to be turned in any other direction besides depressing.

My dear friend, if those are your thoughts, I am right there with you. But I have learned some stuff recently. And although I am slow to wanting to feel gratitude towards anything right now, I have to say, I believe God has prepared me for this moment with snippets of truth He brought me through the blessing of others over the last few months:

Joy is a choice. You can be joyful without feeling happy. It is okay to be sad, God designed us with emotions, but it is not okay to let the sadness be louder than the truth from the voice of the Spirit. The mind can know truth without the heart believing it. In this case, choosing to surrender your heart to God even when it feels pointless is your most important task. And lastly, God is ALWAYS good. His plans are good and beautiful regardless of the mess you feel entangled in.

Again I say, joy, and honestly, experiencing anything pertaining to the character of God, IS. A. CHOICE.

It is a choice that only you can make. And it is a choice that requires discipline over motivation. Wisdom over feelings. And faith over sight.

This is definitely not the first time I have felt this way about life and the goodness of God and honestly, I am pretty sure it is no where near the last time. But that is just it. Life is a cycle of ups and downs, not because God’s goodness changes, but because we fail to choose consistent faith in who He is.

Like a roller coaster about to make it’s big drop, we close our eyes in fear of what lies ahead. We scream in chaos because we are overwhelmed by the experience. But friend, the longer you close your eyes and the louder you scream, the more time you will spend shutting out the potential goodness Jesus want’s to show you and the less you will hear the voice of truth and peace that the Spirit wants to whisper to you.

Dear tender-hearted reader…and future me, I know goodness is the last thing you want someone to tell you to “try to see”. I know numbing emotions, sulking, or distracting yourself may seem a lot more intriguing. But worldly solutions were not meant to heal a heart designed and crafted in Heaven. Only our gracious, and yes, very good, Creator can properly handle that beautiful, yet broken heart in a way that will last.

Be honest in your pain. But do not misplace your desperation when searching for healing. You belong to God. And oh boy, is there so much great freedom in that.

Choose to believe the fruit will one day bloom from your soil that seems to only be getting tilled right now.

So…where do I see the goodness in losing my dog? Well, the truth is, I don’t. But perhaps the glory of this moment will come to life after my own. Perhaps the goodness was meant to be seen in the life he lived. Or perhaps it is in the fact that he no longer has to suffer. Whatever it is, wherever it is, does not change the truth that it is somewhere. So may worship continue according to the truth I know, as God is still always good, even when I can’t see it.

It’s LOVE Day!

Christian lifestyle

“for God so LOVED the world, that He gave His one and only begotten Son that whosoever believes in Him shall not perish but have everlasting life.” – John 3:16

It’s Valentines Day! This day, I feel, has a mixed response from many. Some are over joyed to spend the day with their significant other. Some simply go about the day just as any other. Some celebrate with their family or friends. And some grieve as they remember their lost loved ones.

I realize the sensitivity of this day is the same as many other holidays dedicated to celebrating certain people. But as I contemplated the way in which one could be happy on this day regardless of their circumstance, I had a thought.

What if we disciplined ourselves to express TRUE love to absolutely everyone we encounter this day?

The kind of love that is patient, forgiving, selfless, encouraging, comforting, etc. What kind of transformation would the lives of those around you have if you showed them a glimpse of the most real love?

I am sure you have heard people say “you should treat your significant other like its Valentine’s Day everyday” or “you should show Gods love everyday”. But the reality is, we are not perfect. There are days where expressing the kind of patient and unconditional love we are commanded to share is the LAST thing we want to do. Not to say that as an excuse, I am simply pointing out the flaw of being human.

So what if instead, we challenged ourselves REALLY hard to do it today?

I believe the impact that the Holy Spirit on our heart always results in change. When a person truly acknowledges the love of Christ, there is no reason they should remain just as they were before. With that being true, if we express that same love that Christ showed us, even for just one day, should it not lead to change and a renewal of the heart?

My dear friend, whether you are excited, sad, or neutral about Valentine’s Day, the love God has for you remains consistent. The comfort and wholeness that He gives you does not change based on your circumstances.

The greatest expression of love is revealed in the verse above. So when you wake up today and think about the heart posture you will have as you pass everyone celebrating this beautiful thing called love, think about the impact you could have if you let yourself be powered by the same love God revealed on the cross.

The result of God’s love brought life. I pray you not only feel that today but work your hardest to share it with others. You never know how much it could mean to the strangers you encounter today.

God, Turn It Around

Christian lifestyle, encouragement

“For though we walk in the flesh, we are not waging war according to the flesh. For the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh but have divine power to destroy strongholds. We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ, being ready to punish every disobedience, when your obedience is complete.”

2 Corinthians 10:3-6

In complete honesty, this week has been one of the most frustrating weeks in a long time. With my anxiety through the roof and getting extremely tempted to resort back to numbing my emotions, this section of scripture became more real to me than ever before.

Maybe you’re an overthinker. Or perhaps a perfectionist in a severely imperfect situation. Or maybe you are just stuck on the fence with your mind and heart telling you two completely different things. This world is flooded with battles far beyond the physical realm. And I am sorry to tell you my dear friend, but you are not and you will never be strong enough on your own to win them over. But I do have a life-giving secret to tell you.

Where you let go, God is let in.

There is a reason behind the excitement of the persecuted disciples in scripture. I am sure it was not in their hopes to be imprisoned or scolded by society for Christ’s sake. But they endured and continued to follow where the Lord lead them, even if it was to their enemies. Not because they were naive, but because they knew what mattered more than anything. They knew that before their feelings came the desperate need for restoration of the soul in themselves and those around them. The emotions that their flesh probably attempted to magnify had to be handled with deep consideration in their pursuit of Christ.

When the enemy cannot pull you to directly worship him, he hides himself in the unsteady emotions and feelings that make us push away, lose trust, or feel too ashamed to get closer to Jesus. That is all it is. A mission to focus your heart on anything besides the truth of Christ. But thank heavens for a God who pursues us even more.

The passage of scripture above talks about how the weapons in which a follower of Christ acquires through the building of their faith has the divine power to demolish strongholds and pretensions (claims) against what God says and who He is. Reread that. With a faith set on an undefeatble God, nothing against Him or the peace, hope, love, and purpose He instills in us will prevail. Now remember when I said you will never have the strength to claim victory over the attacks of the enemy on your own? That’s just it. You don’t have to do it on your own. When you set your heart and trust in the God who even death bows to, there is not a worry in the world about your inadequate strength. Jesus is will carry you.

This may be silly, but like a snapping turtle stuck in the road because the curb between him and the lake is too high to climb, he must stop snapping at the good fellow trying to pick him up and over to safety or he will remain behind that stronghold forever. My dear friend, it is not good for your soul to worship Jesus on Sundays and then withhold the other 6 days from Him. If you desire to have a chance against the spiritual warfare over your heart, you must let go and let God in.

What I realized lately is how badly it is my own pride and emotions that prevent me from experiencing the fullness of the Holy Spirit. In my shame and anxiety, I quiet the voice of God and let my heart make it’s bed among the depths of the weary as if I am sparing God from being disappointed. But that could not be more wrong.

This scripture above emphasizes the dire need to gently, but boldly take hold of the unsteady emotions the enemy shouts in our times of trouble. In fact, it goes so far to say that we MUST take captive of those thoughts and claims against the truth of God and FORCE them to become obedient to Him. I say gently because I never want to undermine the power and authentic effects of our emotions. But I follow it with boldness because though our emotions are real, they are meant to be healed by God, not magnified and empowered by the enemy and flesh. We have to boldly trust and build a confidence in the goodness of God and in His ability to turn things around for His glory.

There is a song that I believe reflects the transparency of spiritual warfare between our soul and mind. I usually bring up Psalm 42 and 43 where the writer portrays the reality of a conflicting heart and soul but as I was writing this, the song “Spirit Lead Me” by Influence Music and Michael Ketterer came on and I thought it perfectly captured the picture of what a life of taking ones thoughts and feelings captive and making them obedient to Christ actually looks like. The lyrics read:

“And even in suffering, I have to believe it

If You say, “It’s wrong, ” then I’ll say, “No”
If You say “Release, ” I’m letting go
If You’re in it with me, I’ll begin
And when You say to jump, I’m diving in
If You say, “Be still, ” then I will wait
If You say to trust, I will obey
I don’t wanna follow my own ways
I’m done chasing feelings, Spirit lead me”

This process is not an easy one. There will be nights where you have to keep yourself from playing that one sad playlist that you know will make you become numb again because you know that being dormant will never produce any good fruit. There will be days where you have to force yourself to get out of bed and attend that church service when coming before God as broken as you feel is that LAST thing you want to do. And there will be times where you have to repeat the same Bible verse over and over just so that your mind does not mistake your hopelessness for truth.

Oh dear Christian, the life God calls us to is not because He needs our praise. Rather, He longs to reveal His love for us even amidst this broken world. May you stand confident in His power and will. And may the emotions you feel become renewed and brought to life as you live in obedience. I am a proud witness of the faithfulness of God and I pray in the next moment you feel the weight of the warfare between your own heart and soul, you are reminded of who already claimed victory over the grave. I pray with my whole heart that you seek desperately to witness God turn it all around.