Spiritual

Daily Death For Eternal Life

bible, Christian lifestyle, encouragement

“Relying on God has to begin all over again every day as if nothing had yet been done.” – C. S. Lewis

I think the mind can often draw us towards two extreme ways of thinking. Either we fall into a place where we see ourselves as god, or we see the things, people, and opinions around us as god. Both, despite sounding like polar opposites, are ultimately places of pride.

Whether we feel inferior or superior in the world we live in, we are constantly being pulled away from the one place we belong, and in turn, tempted to rely on anything BUT God.

I think what makes the idea of living in humble confidence under God so difficult to wrap our minds around completely is because we are called to be surrendered, and in result, raised up and set apart.

When I stumbled across this quote by C.S Lewis, I was honestly not sure how to approach it.

Not having the original context, I struggled to understand if it we ought to take this as a freedom call, from the shame and bondage of sin from our past that we are attacked by, or perhaps, it is meant to be a daily call of repentance from the pride we are tempted to lean into as we long for ultimate control of our lives.

Though I feel both could be broken down, I am going to run with the latter interpretation.

I have heard the saying “rejoice, mercies are new every morning!” as Lamentations 3:22-23 suggest. But lately I have been wondering why we ought to rest in that so much.

Honestly, I have come to notice that I am quite the cautious believer. I don’t take pride in the lack of child-like faith I have, but it is the way my mind works. So, I rather challenge the lies in my head and be sure of truth than try to manipulate myself when I know my brain requires a little more time to catch up to my heart.

So as this verse had been running through my head over the last few weeks, I realized it wasn’t because I felt inspired in my faith by it…no, unfortunately, I actually felt aggravated.

Mercy from God? Okay, I saw that displayed on the cross. Understandable. But NEW mercies. Every. Single. Day? Trying to believe that stirred nothing but guilt. I began feeling the weight of inadequacy, and because of that, a lack of faith that the verse actually included me among those who God desired to forgive.

But then I saw this quote from C.S Lewis that rocked everything.

“Relying on God has to begin all over again every day as if nothing had yet been done.”

God provides new mercies every morning because He knew we would need it.

Track with me here…

Our heart longs for what only God provides. But because of our sin-nature of pride and hunger for immediate satisfaction, we sacrifice God’s plans for our own. We may not notice at first, but that decision means that we sacrifice life for death.

Death is existence apart from God. In a just court, we would be ruled guilty of rejecting Him and in turn, rightfully condemned.

Oh but what a loving God we serve…

Paving a way to be free from the ruling of death, by the sacrifice of Jesus, God revealed His grace on the cross.

But He knew that wouldn’t mean perfection for our future, nor did He expect it to on this side of Heaven.

He knew, that because of our brokenness, there would be times where we would still choose ourselves over Him.

He knew, that even though we love Him, we would cave under the temptation to reject Him.

And He knew, that no matter how hard we tried, we would never be strong enough to live the life He called us to alone.

So God gives new mercies…every single morning. Why? Because He knew we would experience new temptations…every single morning.

When C.S Lewis calls us to rely on Jesus as if nothing had yet been done, I realize it is a call to open our eyes to the reality of the war going on every single day.

Every day we are given the choice of life or death. Truth or lies. Forgiveness or bitterness. Love or shame. Trust or control.

Spiritual warfare is not just in big trials. It is unfortunately the ground our hearts reside in until we see Heaven.

My dear friend, you have your choice in battle. You have a loving God who wants to protect, nourish, and redeem you in this war, for He has already claimed victory.

But the choice is yours. Every. Single. Day.

May we never get complacent in our relationship with Jesus. May we strive, for nothing else, but to be closer to Him day by day. And with all my heart, I pray that we may rejoice in His mercies being new every morning…for if He held back for even just one day, we would never see the glory of true life.

So, will you make relying on God a daily act of surrender?

The Unexpected Warfare

bible, Christian lifestyle, encouragement

Over the recent weeks, I have taken on the challenge of becoming infatuated with who Jesus is.

As I said in my last blog, I struggle with getting caught up in the works and service I can do for God instead of who He is as my Savior, Lord, and honestly, my everything. So as I have desperately been on a mission to truly fall in love with the being of God, I have realized that it is a lot harder than I thought.

Seeing how great He is and understanding How worthy He is of praise is not the hard part, rather, for me, the most challenging time is when I seek His love and my own flesh tries to stop me.

Sometimes the inner battle stems from a feeling of not being allowed to accept His love. Other times it is because I do not believe I can represent Him well if I actually do receive the beautiful gift of His adoption and grace. And many times, I simply feel as though I have gone too far for too long to even consider living in the love He offers. Ultimately, what I have come to realize is the severity of the warfare in my mind because all that I feel is completely the opposite of all God fights and stands for.

One of the first steps I thought I would take on this mission to refocus my attention on what- or shall I say who – really matters most, was to read the Gospels again.

I have heard people describe them as love letters. Pages of endless grace. Words that not only speak truth, but fill our souls as we allow the Spirit to mold us. So I figured it was a decent place to begin.

This time however, I did not read it as though I have read other books of the Bible; Enduring Word Commentary open alongside 2 other translations and a pile of sticky notes. Instead, I read it like a story. A story of the love my God revealed 2000 years ago as He spoke to confused, hurting, broken people, just like me.

I began with Luke. The only Gospel that was written from a gentile. An outsider. Or at least that was what his people felt like before Jesus. And can I just say, the nuggets of goodness I have experienced during this time was unlike anything else.

But more than anything, what I wish to share with you, as I wait to speak on Luke for when I finish, is this…

Our flesh so desperately longs for more than this world can offer. And for some reason, immediate satisfaction, though temporary, seems to hold a great grip on us. But greater than that hold is the weight of God’s love for us. More than ever I have witnessed the impact of spiritual warfare in the heart of those pursuing a deeper relationship with God. In others and in myself.

But my dear friend, the battle is worth it all. The God who stepped off His throne to “reach out His hand and touch” the one with leprosy (Luke 5:13). The God who left Heaven to reach the nations no one else cared about (4:43). And the very God who laid down His life for the joy of knowing us forever (23:46) is the same God who is fighting for you in this seemingly hopeless battle.

I know this war with ourselves is hard. It is crazy to think that out of all of the things pulling us from God, our own lies we have lived in for so long could be the most powerful stronghold of them all.

Weary traveler, there is hope, and I am sure you know, but I dare you to live like it is attainable. Like the love isn’t just for everyone else. I dare you to die to yourself so that the voice of God can be the one filling your lungs with genuine praise and your heart with unshakable peace.

Perhaps it begins with a baby step. Do not fear, for the Holy Spirit can bring transformation with even just a change in where you turn your eyes.

“When Simon Peter saw this, he fell at Jesus’ knees and said, ‘go away from me, Lord; I am a sinful man…Then Jesus said to Simon, “Do not be afraid; from now on you will fish for people.” – Luke 5:8,10

Beloved Christian, there is a “from now on you will…” for you as well. And Jesus, knowing all that you have and will face, calls you to delight and obey without fear. Your battle is real and strong, I am sure, but the God who loves you so dearly is stronger.

The Blessings In Questions

bible, Christian lifestyle, prayer

Asking questions has always been one of my favorite things. This was, however, with the exception of asking God any questions. It wasn’t because I was afraid of the answer, or of His response. Rather, I didn’t believe it was my place, nor did it resemble the kind of blind, yet strong, faith that I assumed those around me had growing up. But recently, it has been very different.

Amidst my walk with Christ, I came to the point where I couldn’t handle not throwing up a few questions to God anymore. If you read my “at a loss” blog, you can see this change in a decently raw form. Was it easy? Not in the slightest.

To me, asking God questions always made me feel as though I was doubting who He was or had a weak faith that couldn’t just accept the way things are. But my dear friend, I am delighted to tell you; after a long walk of shamefully seeking answers to the questions I had been ignorantly shoving under the rug, I have come to believe, and I mean truly hold onto with great gratitude, the truth that God welcomes our questions without condemnation.

One of my favorites books in the Bible is Habakkuk. I like it because he asks a lot of questions and God’s response is still so sweet. He isn’t angry, annoyed, or shocked. Nor does He make Habakkuk feel dumb for asking anything. Instead, Habakkuk is reminded of the faithful character of God, the power of His hand, and the perfect timing of the Lord’s judgement and grace. Read along with me.

In the very start of the book, Habakkuk cries out; “How long, LORD, must I call for help…”

In all honesty, this resonates deeply. So many times, especially recently on this hunt for various answers and a better understanding of God, the waiting has felt endless. And in some cases, pointless. I’d jot down a concern or a promise I struggled to understand how it could be accessible, and months would go by with no response…or so I thought.

We see chapter 1 split into 3 sections; Habakkuk’s first complaint, God’s answer, and Habakkuk’s second complaint. When I first read those titles, I was shocked that after hearing from God like Habakkuk did, he would dare to have a second round of questions. But after looking back over these last few months, I can’t shame this man, for I have done the very same thing.

What took me so long to notice, and friend, I hope you listen closely to this, is that amidst my hunt for a big answer, God gave me countless little answers and truths that He knew my heart needed before arriving to the one I asked for.

Isn’t it incredible to have a God who knows what we need and when the best time to receive it is? We can sometimes think it is best to have all the cards of life before us, but honestly, if we did, I do not believe we would make the right decisions with them. Just look in each of our pasts.

So as we walk along in this thing called life, without all the cards, we are left with an unclear future. And without clarity, comes questions. Could God truly have a specific path for me? How is His good revealed in grief? Where is He when everything we know to be “best for us” is falling apart? Why does He seemingly stand idle while our hearts slip and smash into millions of pieces?..

The questions could go on and on. And some will tell you to just read the Bible more. I agree. But my friend, Jesus didn’t die strictly so that you would be compelled to finish that “read the whole Bible in a year” challenge. He died so you and God could have a personal, everlasting relationship with one another. One that needs no intercessor besides the Son and Spirit of God Himself. There is an insane amount of intimacy God longs to have with us. And honestly, as someone who gets shy from the judgement of others when I ask biblical questions, I am beyond thankful for the individual, private relationship we are offered.

It took a VERY long time for me to feel the freedom of seeking greater knowledge and wisdom through my misunderstandings, doubts, and worries. Though it began as a shameful walk, it is now a blessing I couldn’t imagine going without for any longer than I already have. Yes, I stumble. Yes, I ask a million follow-up questions. Yes, I ask for more details on the promises He makes decently clear in Scripture. And yes, I plead with God to answer quicker for the sake of my sanity. But on my journey to learning how to ask questions while having complete trust in His perfectly formed and timed answers, I have seen nothing but a patient and gracious God.

Habakkuk ends his last prayer as a word of praise. Not yet seeing the answer completely fulfilled, this man so similar in his questions as you and I, says this; “Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines. Though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food. Though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls. Yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my Savior. The sovereign Lord is my strength;”

Life, I think, was not meant to be aimlessly walked through. I believe God reveals Himself in more mesmerizing ways every time we seek a deeper understanding of who He is and how He acts. Not just for our own sake, but also for those we get the honor of doing life with. Questions bring answers that build knowledge. And knowledge gives us the ability to grow wisdom. And a wise life, dear Christian, is one that God can use radically for His will and kingdom.

The more we know about our loving God, the deeper rooted our faith becomes and the greater our confidence in God can be during our weakness. Not by our own means, but through His grace alone. Lean in, layout your questions, and let God reveal His wonders within the process.

at a loss.

bible, christian, Christian lifestyle, easter, encouragement, lifestyle, prayer, Worship

I don’t really want to write anything right now. Like if I could hide away in my room for the next few years, or maybe decades, I totally would.

I write this blog on Monday, March 27th, 2023. Four days before I put down my best friend. My baby. My beloved 14 year old pekingese, Macho. I didn’t want to write anything because I didn’t want anyone to ask about him or ask how I am doing because it will just make me feel worse. But for some aggravating reason, God keeps weighing this post on my mind. And yes, I say aggravating because I REALLY don’t want to think about it, much less write and post about it. But maybe God wants to speak to someone besides me, or maybe it is just for me to look back on as the encouragement I may desperately need in the coming weeks. I guess we shall see.

One thing a lot of people don’t know about me is that I struggle a lot with being joyful. But recently, when I would think about what I have to do in four days, God has been reminding me that there is ALWAYS good to find. Crazy, I know. Believe me, He knows I think it is absolutely insane to see any glimpse of goodness in this time. But He persisted with this promise every time I would try to negotiate Him giving Macho 20 more years of life in exchange for literally anything I could give up. In all honesty, it was kind of annoying. As I said, I struggle with being joyful quite a bit. Not because I can’t see it, but because after so many disappointments in my life, I tend to not even try to look.

But that’s just it. If Jesus, in all His glory, is standing 1 foot away from me, but I keep my eyes and ears closed in the name of “protecting my heart from another disappointment”, it is not His fault that I cannot see His goodness.

I heard this song by Hannah McClure called “Always good”. I love that song…usually. But when I was thinking about what is about to happen, all the song did was make me mad. How can God ALWAYS be good, or turn things for good, if things like this have to happen? Like why even exhaust myself trying to see this glimpse of glory if it is only a result of the massive storm of pain?

Then my mind reminded my heart of this: John 3:16. Genesis 37. Genesis 6-9. Ruth. Daniel 3. and so on.

In each and every one of those stories, there was a devastating or super scary experience or event that happened just before God revealed exactly where His goodness had been the whole time. And yes, Jesus is included in the list. God Himself, lost His Son. Not by natural death, but by sacrifice because He knew it was the most loving expression anyone could do.

Ironically, Easter is in just a few weeks. But three days before that is a day that should be very dark. It’s the day Jesus died. The day that Heaven went silent, in a mixture of mourning and anticipation for the promise of the coming goodness. We call it Good Friday only because we can testify of the genuine goodness that followed that devastating event.

But what about times like now? Where the only thing in sight is the devastation. The loss. The event that honestly seems impossible to be turned in any other direction besides depressing.

My dear friend, if those are your thoughts, I am right there with you. But I have learned some stuff recently. And although I am slow to wanting to feel gratitude towards anything right now, I have to say, I believe God has prepared me for this moment with snippets of truth He brought me through the blessing of others over the last few months:

Joy is a choice. You can be joyful without feeling happy. It is okay to be sad, God designed us with emotions, but it is not okay to let the sadness be louder than the truth from the voice of the Spirit. The mind can know truth without the heart believing it. In this case, choosing to surrender your heart to God even when it feels pointless is your most important task. And lastly, God is ALWAYS good. His plans are good and beautiful regardless of the mess you feel entangled in.

Again I say, joy, and honestly, experiencing anything pertaining to the character of God, IS. A. CHOICE.

It is a choice that only you can make. And it is a choice that requires discipline over motivation. Wisdom over feelings. And faith over sight.

This is definitely not the first time I have felt this way about life and the goodness of God and honestly, I am pretty sure it is no where near the last time. But that is just it. Life is a cycle of ups and downs, not because God’s goodness changes, but because we fail to choose consistent faith in who He is.

Like a roller coaster about to make it’s big drop, we close our eyes in fear of what lies ahead. We scream in chaos because we are overwhelmed by the experience. But friend, the longer you close your eyes and the louder you scream, the more time you will spend shutting out the potential goodness Jesus want’s to show you and the less you will hear the voice of truth and peace that the Spirit wants to whisper to you.

Dear tender-hearted reader…and future me, I know goodness is the last thing you want someone to tell you to “try to see”. I know numbing emotions, sulking, or distracting yourself may seem a lot more intriguing. But worldly solutions were not meant to heal a heart designed and crafted in Heaven. Only our gracious, and yes, very good, Creator can properly handle that beautiful, yet broken heart in a way that will last.

Be honest in your pain. But do not misplace your desperation when searching for healing. You belong to God. And oh boy, is there so much great freedom in that.

Choose to believe the fruit will one day bloom from your soil that seems to only be getting tilled right now.

So…where do I see the goodness in losing my dog? Well, the truth is, I don’t. But perhaps the glory of this moment will come to life after my own. Perhaps the goodness was meant to be seen in the life he lived. Or perhaps it is in the fact that he no longer has to suffer. Whatever it is, wherever it is, does not change the truth that it is somewhere. So may worship continue according to the truth I know, as God is still always good, even when I can’t see it.

It’s LOVE Day!

Christian lifestyle

“for God so LOVED the world, that He gave His one and only begotten Son that whosoever believes in Him shall not perish but have everlasting life.” – John 3:16

It’s Valentines Day! This day, I feel, has a mixed response from many. Some are over joyed to spend the day with their significant other. Some simply go about the day just as any other. Some celebrate with their family or friends. And some grieve as they remember their lost loved ones.

I realize the sensitivity of this day is the same as many other holidays dedicated to celebrating certain people. But as I contemplated the way in which one could be happy on this day regardless of their circumstance, I had a thought.

What if we disciplined ourselves to express TRUE love to absolutely everyone we encounter this day?

The kind of love that is patient, forgiving, selfless, encouraging, comforting, etc. What kind of transformation would the lives of those around you have if you showed them a glimpse of the most real love?

I am sure you have heard people say “you should treat your significant other like its Valentine’s Day everyday” or “you should show Gods love everyday”. But the reality is, we are not perfect. There are days where expressing the kind of patient and unconditional love we are commanded to share is the LAST thing we want to do. Not to say that as an excuse, I am simply pointing out the flaw of being human.

So what if instead, we challenged ourselves REALLY hard to do it today?

I believe the impact that the Holy Spirit on our heart always results in change. When a person truly acknowledges the love of Christ, there is no reason they should remain just as they were before. With that being true, if we express that same love that Christ showed us, even for just one day, should it not lead to change and a renewal of the heart?

My dear friend, whether you are excited, sad, or neutral about Valentine’s Day, the love God has for you remains consistent. The comfort and wholeness that He gives you does not change based on your circumstances.

The greatest expression of love is revealed in the verse above. So when you wake up today and think about the heart posture you will have as you pass everyone celebrating this beautiful thing called love, think about the impact you could have if you let yourself be powered by the same love God revealed on the cross.

The result of God’s love brought life. I pray you not only feel that today but work your hardest to share it with others. You never know how much it could mean to the strangers you encounter today.