Spiritual

March Musings: On The Inconvenience of Believing

Christian lifestyle

“For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.” – Luke 6:45

Paul Tripp once stated, “I am a man in moment by moment need of the rescuing grace of my Redeemer.”

Such a short statement, captivated me by it’s depth.

The other day, I was sitting and thinking of how to grow engagement in my church when I realized the majority of the complaints I read online from others about various churches were based on things not being convenient enough.

In my research, I read parents complaining about driving their kids to youth after work. I read elders saying the messages weren’t a deep enough exegesis of scripture on Sunday mornings. I read comments about coffee’s not tasting good enough from people who never volunteered a day in their life.

Needless to say, I read a lot of complaints about the church not being convenient enough to satisfy everyone’s needs within the hour and a half service on Sunday morning.

However, I too am guilty of this, as I recall every remark I have made about service being far too early in the morning for me to ever be on time.

If you have not recognized it yet, we as humans tend to blame outside factors for our inconvenienced heart.

But my dear friend, as gently as I can say this…it’s not the church, the traffic, the bad coffee, nor the hassle of attending a small group mid-week that is at fault for your frustrated heart…it’s yourself.

Scripture tells us countless times that to follow Christ, we must deny ourself. That does not just mean holding in our anger at someone who cut us off on the way to work. No, rather, it means going against every desire for self-glorification and immediate satisfaction that our hearts hunger so deeply for.

Paul Tripp, on the topic of communication from the heart, stated that humans have organic consistency. As an apple tree is an apple tree from its roots to its fruit, what we speak is not sometimes “what we did not mean”, rather, it is what our hearts truly felt, but our mouths did not filter.

In Luke 6, we see Jesus compare the way one speaks from the heart to a tree that produces the fruit of it’s nature. Neither man nor tree can produce what is not truly at their core.

Then it hit me. Christianity is not hard because people may mock us.
I have been a Christian for nearly 10 years and can still count on one hand the number of bullies I had that were strictly because of my faith. Nor is Christianity hard because the church makes us join groups or serve in order to grow. Anything you want to do requires a sacrifice of time, so the question for the one who blames the church is this; is your faith not worth the sacrifice?

Those things may be factors that play into the struggle of being a Christian, but the true reason Christianity is so hard, so inconvenient, is because believing requires us to deny the desires that run through our bones and the hunger for immediate gratification and getting what we want, how we want it, when we want it.

The inconvenience of believing is because we are fighting ourselves, trying to convince ourselves of a hope we cannot see.

But the beauty of the Gospel is that we are not alone in this fight. The victory was already claimed by the resurrection of Christ.

The road to Him is narrow, inconvenient, and tight. It will pressure us, it will challenge us, but also discipline us to remain in pursuit of the only path to true life.

I love Luke 24:5, as the angel says to the women who went back to the tomb on Easter, “Why do you look for the living among the dead?”

Why, my dear friend, do you believe any growth, or new life, will stem from a perspective that the journey with Christ will be convenient in the slightest?

It is not hard because the church requires too much of us, or people think we are silly. It is hard because you made the decision to step out of a lifestyle of death and into one of everlasting life, while still living in a world that has been dead at it’s core since the fall of man.

So as you rationalize a life in pursuit of Jesus, do not seek convenience, seek the only source that can fully satisfy your heart…the only path to life we have. Perhaps the greatest prayer we so often forget to mention is the transforming of our heart, the shifting of our perspective, and the desire to love others more than ourselves.

On the Significance of God’s Righteousness

bible, Christian lifestyle

“God presented Christ as a sacrifice of atonement, through the shedding of his blood—to be received by faith. He did this to demonstrate his righteousness, because in his forbearance he had left the sins committed beforehand unpunished— he did it to demonstrate his righteousness at the present time, so as to be just and the one who justifies those who have faith in Jesus.”
‭‭Romans‬ ‭3‬:‭25‬-‭26‬ ‭

Shame has been on my mind lately. It is an quite an interesting concept when broken down.

Though our bodies have a survival instinct, when shame is present, it is as if we give that up. Rather than fighting for life, we give into fighting ourselves into this belief that we are not worthy of good, and sometimes, not even worthy of life itself.

Shame holds the power to turn a soul against itself.

Now we have heard the value of God’s love preached a million times over. His love is what drove Him to fight for us even when we rejected Him. But what I recently came across was the significance of His righteousness. His justice. The characteristic that demands the virtuous thing. The just thing.

When I read this verse above, it was not just the cost of my sin that seemed to be forgiven, but also the effects of my sin that were overcome.

Yes, God loves us, and we can rest in that truth. But God also demonstrated His justice on the cross and through the empty tomb.

The cross paid the debt. The cost of our wrongdoings. The punishment we were responsible for.

And the empty tomb revealed that death, and it’s grip on our lives, has no power over those redeemed by Christ.

My dear friend, shame speaks death that has already been defeated. It is rooted in a punishment that has already been paid. And it bounds us in chains that are already broken.

The sacrifice and resurrection was not just the perfect display of love, but the perfect act of righteousness for the sake of making freedom available to those who did not deserve it.

Shame will come often. And as our hearts tends to forget the significance of God’s righteousness, shame tends to distract us from the reality we now live in; the reality of redemption and grace.

This is not that we may walk in our own pride, as Paul says in verse 27, “Where, then, is boasting? It is excluded.”

No, rather, we walk in confidence of the perfect atonement for our sins – being just that…perfect. Forgiveness for our straying, and freedom for our bounded souls.

February Musings: Reflection Of Luke’s Gospel

bible, Christian lifestyle, encouragement

“Why do you look for the living among the dead?” – Luke 24:5

I finished reading the Gospel of Luke two days ago. Though there were so many rich parts, this stopped me in my tracks for quite a while.

Over the last two years, I have prayed more than ever for a change. Not so much in the circumstances of life, but in my heart. Yet month after month, I felt despair gain it’s grip on my spirit. I thought, surely, this cannot be what God desires. I was told He fights for me. He loves me. He faced death for me. Yet what I endured, honestly tempted me to doubt all of that. It began seeming as though His grace did in fact have a boundary, and justifiably so, I stood just inches outside of it.

The reason I read Luke was because I knew a LOT about the Bible. I know a lot about the old testament, the history, context, and timeline of it all, but my relationship with God felt no deeper than that between a history teacher and I. I learned through what His Word said. I grew excitement over the stories that were told. But as a teacher holds a higher, distant relationship with their students, the more I learned, the more I felt the firmness of those walls between us.

Reading Luke without any commentary or elders walking me through it, I saw God in a new light.

[ I want to be honest in the reality of my struggle though. As I type this out, praying I word this correctly, in a way that points to the glory of the Lord like I want it to, I fight with myself. I fight still with the thoughts I had before reading Luke and I fight with the fear that what I say now may not highlight something that lasts. Though perhaps that is just what life is; a constant battle to choose Jesus over all else, even if our new knowledge does not erase our old feelings. ]

The new light I saw God in was not a feeling, though it is often classified as one. My dear friend, what I saw was God as Love.

I saw Jesus fight for our spirit (4:35), be patient in our frustration (5: 10), comfort us in sorrow (7:13), defend us in our brokenness (7:47), call us towards Him (10:42), rejoice over our return (15:5), relentlessly pursue us (19:10), delight in eternity with us (23:43), and my personal favorite…I saw Jesus willingly reach for us despite all we are (5:13).

Yet even after all I saw, my heart stumbles in confidence as I try to believe I am included in those He fights for.

Though just as real as my feelings are, the resurrection of Jesus is too. The only difference is that one lasts in truth and one lies in shame that has already been overcome.

By the grace of God, we get to choose how we walk in life.

But one thing you must understand is that your choice in how you walk determines everything…and there is no grey area. You either choose to walk in life or death. In no place will you find them truly co-existing. You may trip in your pursuit of life, but that does not mean you change your direction. The beauty of God’s mercy is that we get to walk in life even as broken people. Actually, what is even more fascinating than that, is that God Himself promises to walk that path WITH us.

Luke 24:5 was the response of the Angels standing outside of Jesus’ tomb when the women went to visit. “Why do you look for the living among the dead?” they said.

We may see this and think, “Of course, only a fool would expect life from a casket.” But do we not do that very same thing as we pray God cultivates life-giving fruit while we live with a mindset and walk that feeds death?

If there is anything I desire for you from the journey through Luke, it is that you long to know God over all else.

For when you pursue the One who is Life and Love, you will only find more truth to defend against your death-seeking nature. The things of Heaven bear what lasts. Over feelings. Over hardships. Over sorrow. Over confusion. Over all sin, is the consistent conquering of Love.

The resurrection was enough. It has to be. And as much as you may fight it, as I do quite often, it always will be enough. So why, my dear friend, are you seeking glimpses of life from anything else? For only a fool seeks life while watering what is dead.

Lay It All Down…Again (Pt. 2)

bible, christian, lifestyle

A year and a half ago, I wrote a blog about the need for giving up control. In other words, surrendering it all to God. And strange enough, God brought that topic back into my memory, though this time, from a new perspective.

Our ruthless grip on control can often stem from anxiety in others potentially failing us or a major pride issue. As someone who struggled with both of those problems, after a year of following the strategies I wrote about previously, I find myself at yet another road block. The wretched feeling of just wanting to give up.

I was reading other blogs about this topic recently and I have come to find that this view of making surrendering and “throwing in the towel” interchangeable is actually not that uncommon. Though, that does not make it right.

I get it. You prayed. You read the Bible. You joined the groups. And you tried your best to replace the voice of your anxious heart with the truth of the Spirit. But none of it has led to the weight being lifted or any vision/hope of a purpose-filled future.

But let me tell you a story.

There was a woman who had quite a past. Even the leaders of the synagogue knew of her sinful ways. Yet she heard that Jesus was passing nearby, so she did what she could to get to him. Having no gold or riches to offer, she brings her most expensive alabaster jar of perfume. With the eyes of the high leaders looking down on her, she lays at the feet of Jesus. In material sacrifice, she pours out her perfume on His feet. And in physical sacrifice, she uses her tears and hair to cleanse and dry them.

We are not told of the sins this woman has committed. Nor are we told about the future she lived. But by three simple phrases, Jesus sends her back into the same situation she came from.

“Your sins are forgiven.”…”Your faith has saved you.”…”Go in peace.”

We live in a world that claims we ought to live this life to the fullest because happiness is our main priority. But when did God ever say that? Let me save you from skimming through 66 books looking for it…He never said our purpose was to be happy. He said we were designed for His glory. To worship Him. To be an expression of His love.

Happiness is a fleeting feeling that society connects all too closely and all to often with success. But friends, that way of thinking will only lead to a life of disappointment.

Earlier, I listed a few “disciplines” or faith-based “practices” that the church typically encourages us to follow. These actions are intended to help us grow closer to God, direct us towards worship, and put us on a path that makes us available for sanctification (transforming to reflect Christ more). But again, what happens when it just leads to being drained, wanting to give up?

“Giving up control to God” can raise our hopes to expect something great to happen immediately after. It is a big sacrifice to lay down what we value so much; all our life. And when nothing changes, even after you have given so much, it is understandable to feel discouraged. Though the dangerous thing about feeling this way is that we can get so overwhelmed by the discouragement that our hope fades and our feelings resort to numbing.

In battles of the past, and in many movies, we see a white flag symbolize the act of surrendering. The moment the flag is waved, victory is claimed over one party and the ways of the winner are typically in forced over the opponent.

The losing team is left hopeless, and without any voice.

If I am being honest, when I began the steps people claim help us surrender to God, after a while, I felt the same way. Hopeless.

I did all the “right” things and yet I found myself seeing little to no change in anything. In fact, it felt like my circumstances got worse. There were so many days that I didn’t understand the point of reading the scripture I did, task after task piled up which would lead to me missing days with God and feeling like a failure, and I seemed to lose the enjoyment I had in being involved in the things I was a part of.

So I waved the white flag.

For a moment, I let go of the striving and settled with the fact that I was bound to the infertile soil I seemed to be rooted in. I didn’t pray. I stopped reading scripture with the expectation of receiving anything. And I fell deeper and deeper into the pit of despair I spent so long trying to get out of.

I “surrendered”. Threw in the towel. Raised the flag with the last bit of strength I could bare to give.

What used to be shouts in desperation for God at night turned into silent staring at the ceiling, wishing I could just muster out one tear to know I did not lose my capability of feeling when I lost my hope.

Then I started to hear it.

Through frustrated conversations, honesty in other believers’ blogs, and the small sections of Luke I have been forcing myself to still read for the sake of finally finishing a Gospel…I heard it.

Rather, I saw it.

Through His word in Luke chapter 7 and the words of His children in life-giving conversations, God revealed the critical steps I had missed in the blog about surrender from nearly 2 years ago.

Looking at this passage we see a few important aspects about the woman.

Though she was living in shame from others, she was alert. She was persistent in her desire to encounter Christ, and when He finally came to her town, she went. Because she was faithful in the seemingly fruitless season, she was prepared to move when the opportunity to meet Jesus came up.

My dear friend, it is frustrating to not know God’s timing, but the discipline does not go wasted. The last thing we want is to not notice the hand God is extending towards us because we never spent time getting to know what that would look like, or never built a faith to know it could go beyond than our natural perspective.

When the woman came to see Jesus, she actually came to give before receiving. Presenting no direct plead, she kneels at his feet and pours out her cherished possessions. She came to the alter bringing glory to God. The very thing we were designed to do.

We have no idea the situation this woman endures at home. But we do know that whatever it looked like, had no relevance when it came to what she knew she was to do before God. Whether you are in a great place or the worst in your life, part of truly surrendering our whole being is to offer all we have before God, whatever that may look like. Not because the amount we have represents His level of goodness, but because He is still worthy despite it all. Abundant or barren, we must recognize that praising God is our purpose more than focusing on any other thing in our life.

Sometimes, falling on our knees in tears may be the only offering we can give. And praise Jesus that is enough.

Judging from the pharisees disgust with her, we can assume she was no perfectionist of religious traditions. But, she knew what was more valuable than any of the others who were giving her a dirty look from their high horse.

Not just because she knew what to bring to God, but because she knew the worth behind what she received from Him.

In verses 48-50, we see those beautiful 3 phrases:

“Your sins are forgiven”…“Your faith has saved you.”…“Go in peace.”

Did she expect to receive anything from Jesus? Who knows. But regardless, she got a response. And the sweet thing about these phrases is that we too have been told these when we accepted Christ. Not because of what we have done. Not because we deserved it. But because He loves us so dearly that He chose to make Himself available through our simple surrender.

Yep. I said it. Simple surrender.

Surrender is not burning yourself out until you are forced to wave the white flag. Nor is it hopelessly going through the motions just because people say you should.

Surrender is made simple, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t sacrificial. As we read in this passage, it requires all we are and results in a non-tangible gift.

Jesus just wants you to come. To return back to the calling and purpose you were given as you were so intricately woven in your mothers womb. And what He wants to give you may not look like a new circumstance, but it is a new perspective. A new shot at life that is forgiven, protected, and fully covered in eternal grace. And that, my dear friend, is worth more than all the success and happiness in the world.

For it is a life we cannot fail in and do not have to carry on our own. Praise God and to Him be the glory as we lay it all down…again…and again…and again as each new day arises and He reveals His love more clearly to us.

Musings: January

Christian lifestyle, prayer, Worship

At the end of last year, I was struggling a lot. I feared the path in which I was on would no longer be sustainable. The way I was living was not one that seemed connected to this abundant source of life God claimed to be.

I needed something new. And I needed it soon. For all that I knew was running dry and falling short of being enough. The perspective I had was losing root. I become unbearably drained.

As the weeks went on, the war in my mind between what struggle was worth my efforts got more intense. Living life with God is hard. But so is existing without Him.

So I decided to beg.

Slightly embarrassed, I made the decision that the 8 hour car ride alone to this conference I had to go to would be dedicated to pressing God for a word. Not a specific answer to all my problems. Not a vision. Not a miracle. Just a word. One that would help me understand why the Holy Spirit continued to fight my spirit of doubt in my heart.

After 8 long hours, I felt nothing. I had no revelation. And in all honesty, I was disappointed. If that extensive dedication was not enough, what would ever be?

The first night of that conference ended and I went to bed with little hope for the coming day.

I fought worship the next day to be honest. In a room full of 55,000 young people passionately praising God, you would think I was insane to not feel the heat. Yet, I didn’t.

But for some reason, I was compelled to force my body to physically do what my heart refused. I lifted my hands with palms down in surrender and then palms up for reception. This was hard. But then I heard it…

From death to life.

That was it. No further explanation. (Perhaps I should’ve asked God for at least a full sentence). But nonetheless, I knew it was not from me, because simply “life” was the last thing I would’ve told myself was enough to satisfy my desire for a new thing.

It was as if the speakers heard that same phrase, because nearly every message after that had a point or two about that perspective.

From death to life, I repeated.

So short, yet so profound. I spent months trying to figure out what I was feeling and I dodged all descriptions that sounded too far from the bounds of God’s grace. Because, though I struggle to understand His uniquely intentional love for us, I knew if I admitted I felt unredeemable, what then would have the power to pull me back into this “hope” we are called to live in?

Then someone read 1 Corinthians 5: 17-21 to me.

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here! All this is from God, who reconciled us to Himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation; that God was reconciling the world to Himself in Christ, not counting people’s sins against them. And He has committed to us the message of reconciliation. We are therefore Christ’s ambassadors, as though God were making His appeal through us. We implore you on Christ’s behalf: Be reconciled to God. God made Him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in Him we might become the righteousness of God.”

There is a LOT we could pull from this, but track with me for just a moment.

Sin is in fact what God cannot be in the presence of. For it is all He goes against and the opposite of who He is. The price for it is death. Death is the absence of life. As God is life, that means for one to be dead, they are not connected with God. (Speaking in a spiritual sense here).

This, my friend, is why I fought so hard to identify with anything but dead. For it is the place outside His presence.

I was living with a perspective slowly withering away from God’s truth and instead, making root in the enemy’s territory. I believed the true severity of sin, so I caved when I heard the lies that God would not reach as far as I felt.

But praise God for His written Word.

What we see here in 1 Corinthians, is the beauty of His boundless love. A love so passionate that the grave was not too scary to face nor too powerful to keep Him chained.

Jesus endured death to life, testifying no other force could overcome and no place was too far, even that which was supposed to remain apart from Him.

He did it for me and He did it for you.

My dear friend, there is no place more distant than death, and even still, God extends His hand. He meets us where we are. And He calls us to respond through living. To give up all the life-stripping habits we know and to take on what He offers as we are covered in the grace of Jesus’ sacrifice.

From death to life.

This world is hard to endure, but when it seems as though “life” has run its worth, we have only just discovered the true meaning and value behind that four letter word.

Heavenly Father, teach our weary souls to take on the new, true, perspective of life as we let go of everything else that goes against. Let all we are and do become whole-hearted worship for You, oh Lord.