New Years resolutions

Quit the Molding

Christian lifestyle, spiritual formation

For a while now, I have been working towards the development of a “morning routine” that first and foremost devoted time to God.

I am by no means a “morning person”, and frankly, I find it hard to believe many people naturally are. Nonetheless, studying the practices of others, I decided I would force myself to be one.

After spending 30-40 minutes with God nearly each morning, (yes, I have missed days here and there), I started to notice something…

It doesn’t get any easier. In fact, the reason I missed some days was due to the thought that I could wake up later, get ready for work first, and then do my quiet time. Yet, each and every time, I failed.

But alongside learning that, I also learned that the reason I have not quit and moved it all back to be a part of my nighttime routine, was because my heart hungered for it first thing in the morning.

When I would skip it, I would be angry and easily tempted into justify the sins that would result from that. But just a few hours later, I would find myself drowning in shame.

It was as though many soul developed a need for this time, this experience with God, before all else. So much so, that it would battle its old self and the new self all day long.

The old self would not mind if I had missed this time for weeks, as long as no one found out. Yet my new, redeemed, and Holy-Spirit filled soul knows there is better. Better when I devote my first fruits to God and invite Him into my every moment from the moment my eyes open to when they close at night.

I am aware this sounds silly or typical coming from a church worker, but I have found nothing calls me to this disciplined way besides the call of being a Christ follower. The fact that my family believes in Jesus does not compel me to spend more time in prayer. The fact that I work in ministry does not force me to read my Bible, for how would they know if I did not? And the “christian-writer” dream I have does not require me to devote my mornings to worshipping God.

No thing and no one has the power to dictate what I spend my free time doing. That is, and always will be, my responsibility. For my word can say one thing and my actions another.

The call I have decided to take on when I accepted Christ was one that would only be lived out through my personal devotion in spirit and acts to God.

So how and why then, do I say we ought to stop the molding?

I fear this society has acquired a mentality that what we want to do with our lives can be accomplished while simultaneously remaining inconvenienced.

We hear it all the time, some have even heard it from me in the past, “Find the time that best works for your schedule and section off 5-20 minutes to spend time with God.”

…I take back that advise if I have said it to you before.

What I have noticed is that our souls have a deep hunger and longing for the presence of God in every moment our lives and it’s going to take a lot more than 10 minutes of us reading a couple verses at night while we are half-asleep.

The Lord deserves more than that. And your soul, my friend, cannot survive like that forever.

We should not, and cannot, continue molding God around our lives.

We often hear the verse about giving our “first fruits” to God in relation to our money. That is what we call the tithe, our first 10% of our income.

But I would argue this should be applied in all we do. There is a lack of awareness of our soul’s needs that we cannot understand or even explain because it is so deep that we are sometimes left like babies, crying for a need, but incapable of expressing it in words.

This is not because we are dumb, but simply unaware. Our perspectives are limited, and unfortunately will remain that way without the leaning on the Holy Spirit. Proverbs 3:5-6 is quoted all over the place. We see it on a plaque at the church, printed on your grandma’s coffee mug, and surely you have seen it on a woman’s t-shirt before.

“Trust in the Lord with all you heart and lean not on your own understanding, but in all your ways submit to Him and He will make your paths straight.”

Encouraging and sweet words that reveal the caring and wise heart of God, yet we still find ourselves only tuning into that source (God/Holy Spirit) for a few minutes at night.

I do not mean to be against the nighttime study crowd, but I am seeking to challenge you.

One of the biggest reasons people have told me, and even a reason that I used to say, was that the quietest time and the most free time one has, is at night, while all others are asleep, or after a hard days work.

But as I brutally force myself to continue waking up at these ungodly hours of the morning to pray and read before I begin getting ready for work, I have found I would not go back to the main quiet time being at night.

First, in the morning, one is going from full sleep, the most unaware state and gradually, with the help of God’s great gift: coffee, into a state of greater awareness. Some may take longer than others, but if you begin with being asleep, you can only ever continue becoming more awake.

Additionally, our culture struggles, including myself, with stewarding time. One of the reasons I miss my quiet time when I save it for the last part of my morning routine, is because I find myself taking too long in finding an outfit to wear or doing my hair, that I steal the minutes of quiet time and end up rushing to work before even glancing at my Bible.

This time, instead, is protected when you make it your first task.

What this also does, is train yourself to not avoid the consequences of your own actions. If you wake up late, you begin quiet time, and end up going to work late, you will think twice about choosing to enjoy those extra 15 minutes of sleep again. Yet, if you wake up, and instead, cut the quiet time for the sake of getting ready on time, you protect yourself from the consequences (being late) that you rightfully deserve. Thus, leading you to justify your bad decisions because the only person who knows you skipped your God time is you and God.

It is hard but it is necessary if you desire to grow. For what you spend your time doing is, and always will be, up to you and your responsibility to be used for God’s glory.

After all, the Lord calls us to take up our cross daily…a cross was a never a comfortable thing to endure. It was one that represented death. And how else does one live as a new creation without putting to death the old flesh and old ways?

One’s “first fruits” are those that are picked before the rest. They are not the leftovers nor the ones picked after one has gotten their filling. They are given first and foremost.

When linking this idea with the responsibility we as Christ followers have to steward our time well, it only makes sense that our every breath should be first devoted to God alone and then to the things He has placed before us.

As everyone’s jobs and mornings look differently, the amount of time one devotes in the morning may look different, as well as where exactly they spend this time at.

But what I have found, is that despite the hour we must leave for work or begin our daily tasks, we can always wake up earlier. Due to my struggle of deep feelings, I cannot get less than a certain amount of sleep or I suffer greatly, so as old as this may make me sound, I try very hard most nights to be asleep by 9-9:30pm so that I can stay around the eight hour mark. This means saying “no” sometimes to late night outings with friends and it means I must steward my nighttime chores and such to be completed by that time. In doing that, it makes less excuses available for me in the morning.

At the end of the day, this is not written in stone nor in scripture. But there is a hunger and desire written on our hearts and deep in our soul that I find, suffers, when we save but a taste of God for the night, as we drift in and out of sleepiness.

My dear friend, in your schedule, you hold the power to determine what kind of God you worship. One of convenience, that you believe you can know deeply through a five minute conversation at night, or the One of the Bible, that which may call for inconvenience, yet will grow you and fill you in ways you never knew your soul needed. Our time is considered one of the most valuable things to us, so where will your first fruits go? How long will you continue trying to mold God around the precious gift in which He gave you?

Thoughts to Consider:

What obstacles are currently preventing more time in community with God?

If you have implemented this practice in your morning, in what ways have you seen growth and what are the distractions pulling you to fall for the temptation of convenience?

How can you reschedule your priorities to protect that time in the presence of God?

Consider the growth your relationship with God could experience and how much your soul has been hungering for greater unity with Him unknowingly.

November Musings – Reflections on Hebrews

bible, Christian lifestyle, spiritual formation

“These were all commended for their faith, yet none of them received what had been promised, since God had planned something better for us so that only together with us would they be made perfect.” – Hebrews 11:39-40

In a world that demands immediate satisfaction, it can be difficult to be on the working end. Surely there are things we request from God, yet understand are shots in the dark, never promised to us in scripture but not irrational to desire. But then there is a kind of waiting to witness the fruit of your long-term tilling and watering after seeing a promise given. That my friend, requires a different kind of patience. One that isn’t based on results, rather, endured through by faith.

The people of the old testament show us the real beauty of faith. As I was reading Hebrews 11, I could not help but be overwhelmed with awe as I read how our God worked through person after person to show His goodness and the value of this thing we call “faith”.

Starting with Abel and moving all the way to the prophets, we see Paul describe the way these believers did more than just good motions. We see their heart for God and hope for His promise drive their every move. This faith gave them a perspective unlike any other group of people on earth. It was more than just wishful thinking. It was the “confidence in what [they] hoped for and assurance about what [they did] not see.” (Hebrews 11:1).

Many of these great followers of God were given promises they altered their whole lives around. Abraham, for example, left the land he knew for one he did not all because of a promise spoken over him. Noah, looked like a fool for a while and dedicated so much time and effort to build an ark all because of a promise he received. And Moses went to the highest in command in Egypt and persistently demanded freedom for his people all because of a promise God gave him.

God promised these broken people incredible things. Not because they themselves were great, but because they were willing. They had open hearts and availability for whatever direction God sought to turn them in.

Not by power, reputation, or perfection did these people follow God. No, strictly, by faith.

Faith that He who had made the promise was more than capable and willing to keep it. (Heb. 11:11).

Now let’s be honest. A part of me looks at that scripture and wants to argue their faith was easier to obtain because they lived in a time where God audibly spoke to people. But then, as I recall the cross, I realize the gift we have now. We have the fruit of a promise they could only hope of their entire lives.

I suppose we each have our own benefits in time. Nonetheless, the significance and meaning of faith does not decrease in either era.

Just past a week, I arrived home from Germany after spending nine or so days witnessing God do incredible things. In and through people, I saw hearts move in ways they didn’t know they could. I saw hope grow. I saw joy and desire for God increase. And in myself, I saw awe overwhelm me in deeper ways than ever as I thought of God and who He is.

I often struggle on trips focused around strictly sharing the Gospel. Not because I fear it, or don’t want to. But because I do not understand what progress or success looks like. And without a goal, the feeling of incompetence and inadequacy creeps its way into my mind rather quickly. Yet, on this last trip, I left with one expectation: to expect the unexpected.

This was a statement I heard long ago and it has eased my anxious thoughts previously, so I had hoped it would do the same on this trip. Surprisingly though, the worst of my days was near the beginning. Normally my battery was not that short, but it did not seem to be getting any better as the days went on.

A part of me was disappointed in myself as I thought of all the opportunities to share God’s love and how they would be stolen by my anxious thoughts…then I stumbled across Hebrews 11.

I encourage you to read the whole chapter, as the “by faith..” statements stir up an awe of God like no other, but for time sake, I wish to highlight the last portion.

Verses 39-40 state, “These were all commended for their faith, yet none of them received what they had been promised., since God had planned something better for us so that only together with us would they be made perfect.”

Track with me for just a moment.

Each and every one of those old testament saints were spoken a promise to. And yet they, like us, only got to get a glimpse.

It is considered the reality of the “now, and not yet”.

In this broken world, we will see God’s glory, but only a portion. The fullness of who He is will only be revealed to us, and His redemption for us will only be made perfect (meaning complete; whole) over us, when we are finally home – in the presence of our God.

Hope is not out of reach though. This “now” just looks different for us than it did for the Hebrews. All the promises they were given were leading up to Jesus. When He came, He brought a new covenant. One that did not rely on rituals or animal sacrifices, but on faith that Jesus was indeed the Christ and all sufficient for us.

The “now” we live in is that which gives us the opportunity to have a personal relationship with the Lord and the “not yet” our hearts so desperately seek is the perfect eternity that will come on God’s timing.

This sounds easy to accept when you think about yourself. But when we look to the task of testifying to others but rejection or dismissal is the only result, our hearts can get understandably heavy.

When you have a cure for something others are dying from, any human with a heart would long to share it. But the burden of the “now” is that we still live in a broken world. We still live with people who are blinded to God’s goodness because of their pain, pride, or passions. We still live in a world where sometimes, we will only get the opportunity to move rocks for someone else to eventually plant a seed in the soil beneath.

But…the beauty of the “now” is that we still live in a world where God is being accepted into hearts daily. In a world where the Holy spirit is active. In a world where spiritual chains are capable of being broken. And my dear friend, in a world where promises are on their way towards fulfillment.

I want you to reflect on the last part of verse 40. It says, “so that only together with us would they be made perfect.”

“Only together”.

Only with the “pioneer and perfecter of faith” (Hebrews 12:2) and as one body (Big C Church), can our work reveal the glory of who God is and show the value of our faith.

For hope has come. It is attainable. And by the grace of God, we can see many of His promises fulfilled with our every breath.

Once just a word (Messiah) promised to broken people, is now known as Jesus our savior. How true then is the promise that Savior spoke to us going to bring redemption, completion, and fullness to all of humanity when we reach eternity?

My dear friend, when I look at this world, my heart feels a lot. It feels burdened but also hopeful. And the nature we have that seeks immediate satisfaction does not help us grow a patience towards the timing of God. We often want good results and we often want them now. But who are we to demand fruit from seeds just barely sown? And who are we to expect results of a salvation we did not make happen? It is hard to accept, for what we want is a good desire. But may we never get confused about who does the saving in our hearts and our role as one body, who is made complete, only together.

We cannot do it all. And we cannot let our hope be found in that, for we were made to please God. To have faith in who He is and the plan He is unfolding. To hold a confidence in that hope and an assurance of what we cannot see. May we not grow weary in our pursuit of Jesus. Of holding onto a hope that has come and is coming again in the “not yet”. May we learn to let our hearts focus daily on the tasks God has set before us (Acts 20:24) and guard it from the hunger for our own idea of “good” results.

His timing is perfect. His plan is good. He is sufficient for you. And He has you in the place you are in now that you may continue living out the promise of redemption He gave so many generations ago.

You are the fruit of seeds your ancestors planted. You are a result of the family Abraham was promised. And you are the worker, together with every other believer, that is called to continue sowing…whether or not your human eyes will ever see the spring season.

Thoughts to Consider:

How are you involving yourself in “the body” (the church)?

Are you willing and available? What are some strongholds you have?

What is your mindset when sharing the Gospel? Do you struggle with a desire for a certain result?

Consider the way you respond to this broken world and the people living in it and imagine the difference the daily act of living out faith could change how you react.

“These were all commended for their faith, yet none of them received what had been promised, since God had planned something better for us so that only together with us would they be made perfect.” – Hebrews 11:39-40

Musings: January

Christian lifestyle, prayer, Worship

At the end of last year, I was struggling a lot. I feared the path in which I was on would no longer be sustainable. The way I was living was not one that seemed connected to this abundant source of life God claimed to be.

I needed something new. And I needed it soon. For all that I knew was running dry and falling short of being enough. The perspective I had was losing root. I become unbearably drained.

As the weeks went on, the war in my mind between what struggle was worth my efforts got more intense. Living life with God is hard. But so is existing without Him.

So I decided to beg.

Slightly embarrassed, I made the decision that the 8 hour car ride alone to this conference I had to go to would be dedicated to pressing God for a word. Not a specific answer to all my problems. Not a vision. Not a miracle. Just a word. One that would help me understand why the Holy Spirit continued to fight my spirit of doubt in my heart.

After 8 long hours, I felt nothing. I had no revelation. And in all honesty, I was disappointed. If that extensive dedication was not enough, what would ever be?

The first night of that conference ended and I went to bed with little hope for the coming day.

I fought worship the next day to be honest. In a room full of 55,000 young people passionately praising God, you would think I was insane to not feel the heat. Yet, I didn’t.

But for some reason, I was compelled to force my body to physically do what my heart refused. I lifted my hands with palms down in surrender and then palms up for reception. This was hard. But then I heard it…

From death to life.

That was it. No further explanation. (Perhaps I should’ve asked God for at least a full sentence). But nonetheless, I knew it was not from me, because simply “life” was the last thing I would’ve told myself was enough to satisfy my desire for a new thing.

It was as if the speakers heard that same phrase, because nearly every message after that had a point or two about that perspective.

From death to life, I repeated.

So short, yet so profound. I spent months trying to figure out what I was feeling and I dodged all descriptions that sounded too far from the bounds of God’s grace. Because, though I struggle to understand His uniquely intentional love for us, I knew if I admitted I felt unredeemable, what then would have the power to pull me back into this “hope” we are called to live in?

Then someone read 1 Corinthians 5: 17-21 to me.

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here! All this is from God, who reconciled us to Himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation; that God was reconciling the world to Himself in Christ, not counting people’s sins against them. And He has committed to us the message of reconciliation. We are therefore Christ’s ambassadors, as though God were making His appeal through us. We implore you on Christ’s behalf: Be reconciled to God. God made Him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in Him we might become the righteousness of God.”

There is a LOT we could pull from this, but track with me for just a moment.

Sin is in fact what God cannot be in the presence of. For it is all He goes against and the opposite of who He is. The price for it is death. Death is the absence of life. As God is life, that means for one to be dead, they are not connected with God. (Speaking in a spiritual sense here).

This, my friend, is why I fought so hard to identify with anything but dead. For it is the place outside His presence.

I was living with a perspective slowly withering away from God’s truth and instead, making root in the enemy’s territory. I believed the true severity of sin, so I caved when I heard the lies that God would not reach as far as I felt.

But praise God for His written Word.

What we see here in 1 Corinthians, is the beauty of His boundless love. A love so passionate that the grave was not too scary to face nor too powerful to keep Him chained.

Jesus endured death to life, testifying no other force could overcome and no place was too far, even that which was supposed to remain apart from Him.

He did it for me and He did it for you.

My dear friend, there is no place more distant than death, and even still, God extends His hand. He meets us where we are. And He calls us to respond through living. To give up all the life-stripping habits we know and to take on what He offers as we are covered in the grace of Jesus’ sacrifice.

From death to life.

This world is hard to endure, but when it seems as though “life” has run its worth, we have only just discovered the true meaning and value behind that four letter word.

Heavenly Father, teach our weary souls to take on the new, true, perspective of life as we let go of everything else that goes against. Let all we are and do become whole-hearted worship for You, oh Lord.

Living From the Vine

Christian lifestyle

“I am the true vine, and my Father is the vinedresser. Every branch in me that does not bear fruit he takes away, and every branch that does bear fruit he prunes, that it may bear more fruit. Already you are clean because of the word that I have spoken to you.  Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing. If anyone does not abide in me he is thrown away like a branch and withers; and the branches are gathered, thrown into the fire, and burned. If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. By this my Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit and so prove to be my disciples. As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Abide in my love.” – John 15:1-9

As this year comes to a close, I feel as though many of us can agree that it FLEW by. Honestly, when I began reflecting on what I had hoped to accomplish over the last 12 months versus what I actually managed to get done, I grew more disappointed in myself and less hopeful about the year to come.

Perhaps, I thought, I could see the bright side of the unexpected doors I had to walk through, but even that seems impossible. Now more than ever, I feel lost and as though my discernment may be far less trustworthy as I thought.

Though last week, as I was told of this passage above, I realized how much of a blessing the unexpected could be.

When Jesus came to this world, died, and resurrected, He provided a path to salvation, indeed. But He also forged a way for the presence of the Holy Spirit to be available to us on this crazy journey called life. Salvation was not the end, but just the start of the beautiful connection God intended us to have with Him since the dawn of creation.

When we surrender to Jesus as our Savior from sin, we join a family that has a new name and purpose. No longer are we labeled by the shame of our shortcomings, and no longer must we live to redeem ourselves. For by the blood of Christ, we are chosen, beloved, and given a sense of true, unshakeable belonging.

We, as believers, now stand with the Father who is for us, Jesus who was with us, and the Holy Spirit who is in us. The desire for a genuine relationship could not be more evident through God’s love. He longs for a connection that is rooted deep within our hearts. Scripture says that as we abide in Him, He too will abide in us.

What is beautiful about this passage is that the only requirement for His presence is our availability and commitment. He does not claim we must reach a specific educational benchmark, memorize a certain percentage of the Bible, nor make it across a “successful” point in our lives. No. My dear friend, all He asks for is you.

As we reset our focus, priorities, desires, and perspective, Jesus claims that He will be more than enough as our new source.

From death to life, we can be renewed and given a purpose that is not affected in the slightest by our circumstances. For whether we are failing or excelling in the eyes of the world, our calling will remain the same.

This year may have gone by exactly how you had hoped or the exact opposite of what you envisioned. Either way, as we make our home in the heart of God and open ourselves up to let Him do the same in us, in every scenario, we are simply responsible to point all we do and all we are, back to Him. As a cup overflows, we ought to make ourselves available to all He is for the sake of pouring the same into others. For above all else, we must love the Lord and His people.

When you recognize your purpose, value, and place in this world has already been established by our loving God, it does not matter if your plans went south. More than you seek to be successful, you must seek to be obedient.

I struggle still to understand the way the ending will be beautiful in my life. But this sense of pride, thinking we deserve to know it all, is exactly what will keep us in the pit of despair and disappointment.

So perhaps as this year comes to an end and a new one begins, we can establish “new year perspectives” rather than just resolutions. Maybe, as we root ourselves in Christ and allow Him to take root in us, what blocks our vision from His glory will be pruned and removed. Then, we can begin flourishing from a source that will never waiver.

My dear friend, we were not meant to write our own story nor establish our own steps. Outside the presence and involvement of God is the absence of all good, love, hope, and peace. Let your heart rest and a new bud rise as we take on this new year living from the everlasting Vine.

at a loss.

bible, christian, Christian lifestyle, easter, encouragement, lifestyle, prayer, Worship

I don’t really want to write anything right now. Like if I could hide away in my room for the next few years, or maybe decades, I totally would.

I write this blog on Monday, March 27th, 2023. Four days before I put down my best friend. My baby. My beloved 14 year old pekingese, Macho. I didn’t want to write anything because I didn’t want anyone to ask about him or ask how I am doing because it will just make me feel worse. But for some aggravating reason, God keeps weighing this post on my mind. And yes, I say aggravating because I REALLY don’t want to think about it, much less write and post about it. But maybe God wants to speak to someone besides me, or maybe it is just for me to look back on as the encouragement I may desperately need in the coming weeks. I guess we shall see.

One thing a lot of people don’t know about me is that I struggle a lot with being joyful. But recently, when I would think about what I have to do in four days, God has been reminding me that there is ALWAYS good to find. Crazy, I know. Believe me, He knows I think it is absolutely insane to see any glimpse of goodness in this time. But He persisted with this promise every time I would try to negotiate Him giving Macho 20 more years of life in exchange for literally anything I could give up. In all honesty, it was kind of annoying. As I said, I struggle with being joyful quite a bit. Not because I can’t see it, but because after so many disappointments in my life, I tend to not even try to look.

But that’s just it. If Jesus, in all His glory, is standing 1 foot away from me, but I keep my eyes and ears closed in the name of “protecting my heart from another disappointment”, it is not His fault that I cannot see His goodness.

I heard this song by Hannah McClure called “Always good”. I love that song…usually. But when I was thinking about what is about to happen, all the song did was make me mad. How can God ALWAYS be good, or turn things for good, if things like this have to happen? Like why even exhaust myself trying to see this glimpse of glory if it is only a result of the massive storm of pain?

Then my mind reminded my heart of this: John 3:16. Genesis 37. Genesis 6-9. Ruth. Daniel 3. and so on.

In each and every one of those stories, there was a devastating or super scary experience or event that happened just before God revealed exactly where His goodness had been the whole time. And yes, Jesus is included in the list. God Himself, lost His Son. Not by natural death, but by sacrifice because He knew it was the most loving expression anyone could do.

Ironically, Easter is in just a few weeks. But three days before that is a day that should be very dark. It’s the day Jesus died. The day that Heaven went silent, in a mixture of mourning and anticipation for the promise of the coming goodness. We call it Good Friday only because we can testify of the genuine goodness that followed that devastating event.

But what about times like now? Where the only thing in sight is the devastation. The loss. The event that honestly seems impossible to be turned in any other direction besides depressing.

My dear friend, if those are your thoughts, I am right there with you. But I have learned some stuff recently. And although I am slow to wanting to feel gratitude towards anything right now, I have to say, I believe God has prepared me for this moment with snippets of truth He brought me through the blessing of others over the last few months:

Joy is a choice. You can be joyful without feeling happy. It is okay to be sad, God designed us with emotions, but it is not okay to let the sadness be louder than the truth from the voice of the Spirit. The mind can know truth without the heart believing it. In this case, choosing to surrender your heart to God even when it feels pointless is your most important task. And lastly, God is ALWAYS good. His plans are good and beautiful regardless of the mess you feel entangled in.

Again I say, joy, and honestly, experiencing anything pertaining to the character of God, IS. A. CHOICE.

It is a choice that only you can make. And it is a choice that requires discipline over motivation. Wisdom over feelings. And faith over sight.

This is definitely not the first time I have felt this way about life and the goodness of God and honestly, I am pretty sure it is no where near the last time. But that is just it. Life is a cycle of ups and downs, not because God’s goodness changes, but because we fail to choose consistent faith in who He is.

Like a roller coaster about to make it’s big drop, we close our eyes in fear of what lies ahead. We scream in chaos because we are overwhelmed by the experience. But friend, the longer you close your eyes and the louder you scream, the more time you will spend shutting out the potential goodness Jesus want’s to show you and the less you will hear the voice of truth and peace that the Spirit wants to whisper to you.

Dear tender-hearted reader…and future me, I know goodness is the last thing you want someone to tell you to “try to see”. I know numbing emotions, sulking, or distracting yourself may seem a lot more intriguing. But worldly solutions were not meant to heal a heart designed and crafted in Heaven. Only our gracious, and yes, very good, Creator can properly handle that beautiful, yet broken heart in a way that will last.

Be honest in your pain. But do not misplace your desperation when searching for healing. You belong to God. And oh boy, is there so much great freedom in that.

Choose to believe the fruit will one day bloom from your soil that seems to only be getting tilled right now.

So…where do I see the goodness in losing my dog? Well, the truth is, I don’t. But perhaps the glory of this moment will come to life after my own. Perhaps the goodness was meant to be seen in the life he lived. Or perhaps it is in the fact that he no longer has to suffer. Whatever it is, wherever it is, does not change the truth that it is somewhere. So may worship continue according to the truth I know, as God is still always good, even when I can’t see it.