joy in the lord

Quit the Molding

Christian lifestyle, spiritual formation

For a while now, I have been working towards the development of a “morning routine” that first and foremost devoted time to God.

I am by no means a “morning person”, and frankly, I find it hard to believe many people naturally are. Nonetheless, studying the practices of others, I decided I would force myself to be one.

After spending 30-40 minutes with God nearly each morning, (yes, I have missed days here and there), I started to notice something…

It doesn’t get any easier. In fact, the reason I missed some days was due to the thought that I could wake up later, get ready for work first, and then do my quiet time. Yet, each and every time, I failed.

But alongside learning that, I also learned that the reason I have not quit and moved it all back to be a part of my nighttime routine, was because my heart hungered for it first thing in the morning.

When I would skip it, I would be angry and easily tempted into justify the sins that would result from that. But just a few hours later, I would find myself drowning in shame.

It was as though many soul developed a need for this time, this experience with God, before all else. So much so, that it would battle its old self and the new self all day long.

The old self would not mind if I had missed this time for weeks, as long as no one found out. Yet my new, redeemed, and Holy-Spirit filled soul knows there is better. Better when I devote my first fruits to God and invite Him into my every moment from the moment my eyes open to when they close at night.

I am aware this sounds silly or typical coming from a church worker, but I have found nothing calls me to this disciplined way besides the call of being a Christ follower. The fact that my family believes in Jesus does not compel me to spend more time in prayer. The fact that I work in ministry does not force me to read my Bible, for how would they know if I did not? And the “christian-writer” dream I have does not require me to devote my mornings to worshipping God.

No thing and no one has the power to dictate what I spend my free time doing. That is, and always will be, my responsibility. For my word can say one thing and my actions another.

The call I have decided to take on when I accepted Christ was one that would only be lived out through my personal devotion in spirit and acts to God.

So how and why then, do I say we ought to stop the molding?

I fear this society has acquired a mentality that what we want to do with our lives can be accomplished while simultaneously remaining inconvenienced.

We hear it all the time, some have even heard it from me in the past, “Find the time that best works for your schedule and section off 5-20 minutes to spend time with God.”

…I take back that advise if I have said it to you before.

What I have noticed is that our souls have a deep hunger and longing for the presence of God in every moment our lives and it’s going to take a lot more than 10 minutes of us reading a couple verses at night while we are half-asleep.

The Lord deserves more than that. And your soul, my friend, cannot survive like that forever.

We should not, and cannot, continue molding God around our lives.

We often hear the verse about giving our “first fruits” to God in relation to our money. That is what we call the tithe, our first 10% of our income.

But I would argue this should be applied in all we do. There is a lack of awareness of our soul’s needs that we cannot understand or even explain because it is so deep that we are sometimes left like babies, crying for a need, but incapable of expressing it in words.

This is not because we are dumb, but simply unaware. Our perspectives are limited, and unfortunately will remain that way without the leaning on the Holy Spirit. Proverbs 3:5-6 is quoted all over the place. We see it on a plaque at the church, printed on your grandma’s coffee mug, and surely you have seen it on a woman’s t-shirt before.

“Trust in the Lord with all you heart and lean not on your own understanding, but in all your ways submit to Him and He will make your paths straight.”

Encouraging and sweet words that reveal the caring and wise heart of God, yet we still find ourselves only tuning into that source (God/Holy Spirit) for a few minutes at night.

I do not mean to be against the nighttime study crowd, but I am seeking to challenge you.

One of the biggest reasons people have told me, and even a reason that I used to say, was that the quietest time and the most free time one has, is at night, while all others are asleep, or after a hard days work.

But as I brutally force myself to continue waking up at these ungodly hours of the morning to pray and read before I begin getting ready for work, I have found I would not go back to the main quiet time being at night.

First, in the morning, one is going from full sleep, the most unaware state and gradually, with the help of God’s great gift: coffee, into a state of greater awareness. Some may take longer than others, but if you begin with being asleep, you can only ever continue becoming more awake.

Additionally, our culture struggles, including myself, with stewarding time. One of the reasons I miss my quiet time when I save it for the last part of my morning routine, is because I find myself taking too long in finding an outfit to wear or doing my hair, that I steal the minutes of quiet time and end up rushing to work before even glancing at my Bible.

This time, instead, is protected when you make it your first task.

What this also does, is train yourself to not avoid the consequences of your own actions. If you wake up late, you begin quiet time, and end up going to work late, you will think twice about choosing to enjoy those extra 15 minutes of sleep again. Yet, if you wake up, and instead, cut the quiet time for the sake of getting ready on time, you protect yourself from the consequences (being late) that you rightfully deserve. Thus, leading you to justify your bad decisions because the only person who knows you skipped your God time is you and God.

It is hard but it is necessary if you desire to grow. For what you spend your time doing is, and always will be, up to you and your responsibility to be used for God’s glory.

After all, the Lord calls us to take up our cross daily…a cross was a never a comfortable thing to endure. It was one that represented death. And how else does one live as a new creation without putting to death the old flesh and old ways?

One’s “first fruits” are those that are picked before the rest. They are not the leftovers nor the ones picked after one has gotten their filling. They are given first and foremost.

When linking this idea with the responsibility we as Christ followers have to steward our time well, it only makes sense that our every breath should be first devoted to God alone and then to the things He has placed before us.

As everyone’s jobs and mornings look differently, the amount of time one devotes in the morning may look different, as well as where exactly they spend this time at.

But what I have found, is that despite the hour we must leave for work or begin our daily tasks, we can always wake up earlier. Due to my struggle of deep feelings, I cannot get less than a certain amount of sleep or I suffer greatly, so as old as this may make me sound, I try very hard most nights to be asleep by 9-9:30pm so that I can stay around the eight hour mark. This means saying “no” sometimes to late night outings with friends and it means I must steward my nighttime chores and such to be completed by that time. In doing that, it makes less excuses available for me in the morning.

At the end of the day, this is not written in stone nor in scripture. But there is a hunger and desire written on our hearts and deep in our soul that I find, suffers, when we save but a taste of God for the night, as we drift in and out of sleepiness.

My dear friend, in your schedule, you hold the power to determine what kind of God you worship. One of convenience, that you believe you can know deeply through a five minute conversation at night, or the One of the Bible, that which may call for inconvenience, yet will grow you and fill you in ways you never knew your soul needed. Our time is considered one of the most valuable things to us, so where will your first fruits go? How long will you continue trying to mold God around the precious gift in which He gave you?

Thoughts to Consider:

What obstacles are currently preventing more time in community with God?

If you have implemented this practice in your morning, in what ways have you seen growth and what are the distractions pulling you to fall for the temptation of convenience?

How can you reschedule your priorities to protect that time in the presence of God?

Consider the growth your relationship with God could experience and how much your soul has been hungering for greater unity with Him unknowingly.

March Musings: On The Inconvenience of Believing

Christian lifestyle

“For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.” – Luke 6:45

Paul Tripp once stated, “I am a man in moment by moment need of the rescuing grace of my Redeemer.”

Such a short statement, captivated me by it’s depth.

The other day, I was sitting and thinking of how to grow engagement in my church when I realized the majority of the complaints I read online from others about various churches were based on things not being convenient enough.

In my research, I read parents complaining about driving their kids to youth after work. I read elders saying the messages weren’t a deep enough exegesis of scripture on Sunday mornings. I read comments about coffee’s not tasting good enough from people who never volunteered a day in their life.

Needless to say, I read a lot of complaints about the church not being convenient enough to satisfy everyone’s needs within the hour and a half service on Sunday morning.

However, I too am guilty of this, as I recall every remark I have made about service being far too early in the morning for me to ever be on time.

If you have not recognized it yet, we as humans tend to blame outside factors for our inconvenienced heart.

But my dear friend, as gently as I can say this…it’s not the church, the traffic, the bad coffee, nor the hassle of attending a small group mid-week that is at fault for your frustrated heart…it’s yourself.

Scripture tells us countless times that to follow Christ, we must deny ourself. That does not just mean holding in our anger at someone who cut us off on the way to work. No, rather, it means going against every desire for self-glorification and immediate satisfaction that our hearts hunger so deeply for.

Paul Tripp, on the topic of communication from the heart, stated that humans have organic consistency. As an apple tree is an apple tree from its roots to its fruit, what we speak is not sometimes “what we did not mean”, rather, it is what our hearts truly felt, but our mouths did not filter.

In Luke 6, we see Jesus compare the way one speaks from the heart to a tree that produces the fruit of it’s nature. Neither man nor tree can produce what is not truly at their core.

Then it hit me. Christianity is not hard because people may mock us.
I have been a Christian for nearly 10 years and can still count on one hand the number of bullies I had that were strictly because of my faith. Nor is Christianity hard because the church makes us join groups or serve in order to grow. Anything you want to do requires a sacrifice of time, so the question for the one who blames the church is this; is your faith not worth the sacrifice?

Those things may be factors that play into the struggle of being a Christian, but the true reason Christianity is so hard, so inconvenient, is because believing requires us to deny the desires that run through our bones and the hunger for immediate gratification and getting what we want, how we want it, when we want it.

The inconvenience of believing is because we are fighting ourselves, trying to convince ourselves of a hope we cannot see.

But the beauty of the Gospel is that we are not alone in this fight. The victory was already claimed by the resurrection of Christ.

The road to Him is narrow, inconvenient, and tight. It will pressure us, it will challenge us, but also discipline us to remain in pursuit of the only path to true life.

I love Luke 24:5, as the angel says to the women who went back to the tomb on Easter, “Why do you look for the living among the dead?”

Why, my dear friend, do you believe any growth, or new life, will stem from a perspective that the journey with Christ will be convenient in the slightest?

It is not hard because the church requires too much of us, or people think we are silly. It is hard because you made the decision to step out of a lifestyle of death and into one of everlasting life, while still living in a world that has been dead at it’s core since the fall of man.

So as you rationalize a life in pursuit of Jesus, do not seek convenience, seek the only source that can fully satisfy your heart…the only path to life we have. Perhaps the greatest prayer we so often forget to mention is the transforming of our heart, the shifting of our perspective, and the desire to love others more than ourselves.

On the Significance of God’s Righteousness

bible, Christian lifestyle

“God presented Christ as a sacrifice of atonement, through the shedding of his blood—to be received by faith. He did this to demonstrate his righteousness, because in his forbearance he had left the sins committed beforehand unpunished— he did it to demonstrate his righteousness at the present time, so as to be just and the one who justifies those who have faith in Jesus.”
‭‭Romans‬ ‭3‬:‭25‬-‭26‬ ‭

Shame has been on my mind lately. It is an quite an interesting concept when broken down.

Though our bodies have a survival instinct, when shame is present, it is as if we give that up. Rather than fighting for life, we give into fighting ourselves into this belief that we are not worthy of good, and sometimes, not even worthy of life itself.

Shame holds the power to turn a soul against itself.

Now we have heard the value of God’s love preached a million times over. His love is what drove Him to fight for us even when we rejected Him. But what I recently came across was the significance of His righteousness. His justice. The characteristic that demands the virtuous thing. The just thing.

When I read this verse above, it was not just the cost of my sin that seemed to be forgiven, but also the effects of my sin that were overcome.

Yes, God loves us, and we can rest in that truth. But God also demonstrated His justice on the cross and through the empty tomb.

The cross paid the debt. The cost of our wrongdoings. The punishment we were responsible for.

And the empty tomb revealed that death, and it’s grip on our lives, has no power over those redeemed by Christ.

My dear friend, shame speaks death that has already been defeated. It is rooted in a punishment that has already been paid. And it bounds us in chains that are already broken.

The sacrifice and resurrection was not just the perfect display of love, but the perfect act of righteousness for the sake of making freedom available to those who did not deserve it.

Shame will come often. And as our hearts tends to forget the significance of God’s righteousness, shame tends to distract us from the reality we now live in; the reality of redemption and grace.

This is not that we may walk in our own pride, as Paul says in verse 27, “Where, then, is boasting? It is excluded.”

No, rather, we walk in confidence of the perfect atonement for our sins – being just that…perfect. Forgiveness for our straying, and freedom for our bounded souls.

Daily Death For Eternal Life

bible, Christian lifestyle, encouragement

“Relying on God has to begin all over again every day as if nothing had yet been done.” – C. S. Lewis

I think the mind can often draw us towards two extreme ways of thinking. Either we fall into a place where we see ourselves as god, or we see the things, people, and opinions around us as god. Both, despite sounding like polar opposites, are ultimately places of pride.

Whether we feel inferior or superior in the world we live in, we are constantly being pulled away from the one place we belong, and in turn, tempted to rely on anything BUT God.

I think what makes the idea of living in humble confidence under God so difficult to wrap our minds around completely is because we are called to be surrendered, and in result, raised up and set apart.

When I stumbled across this quote by C.S Lewis, I was honestly not sure how to approach it.

Not having the original context, I struggled to understand if it we ought to take this as a freedom call, from the shame and bondage of sin from our past that we are attacked by, or perhaps, it is meant to be a daily call of repentance from the pride we are tempted to lean into as we long for ultimate control of our lives.

Though I feel both could be broken down, I am going to run with the latter interpretation.

I have heard the saying “rejoice, mercies are new every morning!” as Lamentations 3:22-23 suggest. But lately I have been wondering why we ought to rest in that so much.

Honestly, I have come to notice that I am quite the cautious believer. I don’t take pride in the lack of child-like faith I have, but it is the way my mind works. So, I rather challenge the lies in my head and be sure of truth than try to manipulate myself when I know my brain requires a little more time to catch up to my heart.

So as this verse had been running through my head over the last few weeks, I realized it wasn’t because I felt inspired in my faith by it…no, unfortunately, I actually felt aggravated.

Mercy from God? Okay, I saw that displayed on the cross. Understandable. But NEW mercies. Every. Single. Day? Trying to believe that stirred nothing but guilt. I began feeling the weight of inadequacy, and because of that, a lack of faith that the verse actually included me among those who God desired to forgive.

But then I saw this quote from C.S Lewis that rocked everything.

“Relying on God has to begin all over again every day as if nothing had yet been done.”

God provides new mercies every morning because He knew we would need it.

Track with me here…

Our heart longs for what only God provides. But because of our sin-nature of pride and hunger for immediate satisfaction, we sacrifice God’s plans for our own. We may not notice at first, but that decision means that we sacrifice life for death.

Death is existence apart from God. In a just court, we would be ruled guilty of rejecting Him and in turn, rightfully condemned.

Oh but what a loving God we serve…

Paving a way to be free from the ruling of death, by the sacrifice of Jesus, God revealed His grace on the cross.

But He knew that wouldn’t mean perfection for our future, nor did He expect it to on this side of Heaven.

He knew, that because of our brokenness, there would be times where we would still choose ourselves over Him.

He knew, that even though we love Him, we would cave under the temptation to reject Him.

And He knew, that no matter how hard we tried, we would never be strong enough to live the life He called us to alone.

So God gives new mercies…every single morning. Why? Because He knew we would experience new temptations…every single morning.

When C.S Lewis calls us to rely on Jesus as if nothing had yet been done, I realize it is a call to open our eyes to the reality of the war going on every single day.

Every day we are given the choice of life or death. Truth or lies. Forgiveness or bitterness. Love or shame. Trust or control.

Spiritual warfare is not just in big trials. It is unfortunately the ground our hearts reside in until we see Heaven.

My dear friend, you have your choice in battle. You have a loving God who wants to protect, nourish, and redeem you in this war, for He has already claimed victory.

But the choice is yours. Every. Single. Day.

May we never get complacent in our relationship with Jesus. May we strive, for nothing else, but to be closer to Him day by day. And with all my heart, I pray that we may rejoice in His mercies being new every morning…for if He held back for even just one day, we would never see the glory of true life.

So, will you make relying on God a daily act of surrender?

Commit It All – Surrendering Your Perspective, Present, and Future to God

bible, Christian lifestyle, encouragement

“But I with the voice of thanksgiving
    will sacrifice to You;
what I have vowed I will pay.
    Salvation belongs to the Lord!”

– Jonah 2:9

There was once a man God called out to be the messenger of His salvation in a place called Nineveh. This city was a scary one. They were known for their terrible treatment towards others, especially Israel. To say the least, it seemed like a rather hopeless mission for this one guy to proclaim a truth so far from what the people believed and how they desired to live. Long story short, the man, Jonah, decided to run from God’s call and ended up drowning in the sea. Though this was actually just the beginning of one of the greatest revivals ever. Not just for Nineveh, but for the one with the self-centered perspective as well.

When hearing the story of Jonah and the eventual repentance of the cruel city of Nineveh, it is easy to see their salvation as the main attraction. But I have come to realize, perhaps we missed a very important point in this story. It happens not within the city bounds, but in the belly of the fish Jonah was swallowed by.

The verse stated above was the ending of his prayer to God…

Yes, he said thanks. He gave praise. And crazy enough, he gave surrender. Giving thanks to God in terrible situations has been something we often stumble across in scripture. But I think the most unique part of this verse is the second half.

Jonah surrendered two things to God; his obedience, and the result of that obedience.

As I was thinking about my future a few nights ago, this scripture popped out in a way it never has before. Just last week, my friends did a little breakdown of this passage but even then, it wasn’t clear to me that this verse, or shall I say prayer, was so important.

When a person feels called to something like a career field, it is only natural to get excited about the process and endless possibilities in the future. However, over time, as I have experienced this with writing, I realize that all of the excitement also comes with an overload of anxiety. Whether it be the fear of failure, perfectionism, impatience, or a feeling of inadequacy, when you feel called by God to walk into something so specific, it can be so very taunting.

But what if we began saying this prayer over every feeling of anxiety regarding both the process and future of our call?

What if we not only surrendered our current obedience to God, but also the results to come? It can be hard to relentlessly pursue something in faith when all of the doors seem closed and the call feels like more of a misunderstanding.

The process in which God called Jonah to endure was one that seemed completely irrational. And when God told Jonah to bring a message of life to the ruthless Ninevites, the result God desired was different than that of Jonah’s. Jonah believed these people were too terrible and did not deserve salvation. But after running and witnessing the power of God, Jonah recognized our call is not about our comfort. It is about the love, grace, heart, and truth of God. It is bound by nothing for our God knows no limits. And as long as God is the one empowering us through the process, the end result relies in His will alone.

Whether you feel called to do something life-long, temporary, or for just a few days or weeks, I hope Jonah’s prayer of surrender is one you form a habit of.

Long-suffering is fertile ground for frustration. And unfortunately, because we are not the one who holds the future, we are bound to experience it at some point. But my dear friend, you have the opportunity to tend seeds of hope and faith or seeds of impatience and anxiety. Time will allow for either one to grow, the choice is yours.

From someone who tries to surrender only the obedience in the process but not the result in the future…I assure you, the battle ahead is hard, and certainly not worth fighting on your own. God’s plans are good, beautiful, and unstoppable. The only person you are hurting when trying to take control is yourself.