healthy lifestyle

On the Significance of God’s Righteousness

bible, Christian lifestyle

“God presented Christ as a sacrifice of atonement, through the shedding of his blood—to be received by faith. He did this to demonstrate his righteousness, because in his forbearance he had left the sins committed beforehand unpunished— he did it to demonstrate his righteousness at the present time, so as to be just and the one who justifies those who have faith in Jesus.”
‭‭Romans‬ ‭3‬:‭25‬-‭26‬ ‭

Shame has been on my mind lately. It is an quite an interesting concept when broken down.

Though our bodies have a survival instinct, when shame is present, it is as if we give that up. Rather than fighting for life, we give into fighting ourselves into this belief that we are not worthy of good, and sometimes, not even worthy of life itself.

Shame holds the power to turn a soul against itself.

Now we have heard the value of God’s love preached a million times over. His love is what drove Him to fight for us even when we rejected Him. But what I recently came across was the significance of His righteousness. His justice. The characteristic that demands the virtuous thing. The just thing.

When I read this verse above, it was not just the cost of my sin that seemed to be forgiven, but also the effects of my sin that were overcome.

Yes, God loves us, and we can rest in that truth. But God also demonstrated His justice on the cross and through the empty tomb.

The cross paid the debt. The cost of our wrongdoings. The punishment we were responsible for.

And the empty tomb revealed that death, and it’s grip on our lives, has no power over those redeemed by Christ.

My dear friend, shame speaks death that has already been defeated. It is rooted in a punishment that has already been paid. And it bounds us in chains that are already broken.

The sacrifice and resurrection was not just the perfect display of love, but the perfect act of righteousness for the sake of making freedom available to those who did not deserve it.

Shame will come often. And as our hearts tends to forget the significance of God’s righteousness, shame tends to distract us from the reality we now live in; the reality of redemption and grace.

This is not that we may walk in our own pride, as Paul says in verse 27, “Where, then, is boasting? It is excluded.”

No, rather, we walk in confidence of the perfect atonement for our sins – being just that…perfect. Forgiveness for our straying, and freedom for our bounded souls.

Musings: January

Christian lifestyle, prayer, Worship

At the end of last year, I was struggling a lot. I feared the path in which I was on would no longer be sustainable. The way I was living was not one that seemed connected to this abundant source of life God claimed to be.

I needed something new. And I needed it soon. For all that I knew was running dry and falling short of being enough. The perspective I had was losing root. I become unbearably drained.

As the weeks went on, the war in my mind between what struggle was worth my efforts got more intense. Living life with God is hard. But so is existing without Him.

So I decided to beg.

Slightly embarrassed, I made the decision that the 8 hour car ride alone to this conference I had to go to would be dedicated to pressing God for a word. Not a specific answer to all my problems. Not a vision. Not a miracle. Just a word. One that would help me understand why the Holy Spirit continued to fight my spirit of doubt in my heart.

After 8 long hours, I felt nothing. I had no revelation. And in all honesty, I was disappointed. If that extensive dedication was not enough, what would ever be?

The first night of that conference ended and I went to bed with little hope for the coming day.

I fought worship the next day to be honest. In a room full of 55,000 young people passionately praising God, you would think I was insane to not feel the heat. Yet, I didn’t.

But for some reason, I was compelled to force my body to physically do what my heart refused. I lifted my hands with palms down in surrender and then palms up for reception. This was hard. But then I heard it…

From death to life.

That was it. No further explanation. (Perhaps I should’ve asked God for at least a full sentence). But nonetheless, I knew it was not from me, because simply “life” was the last thing I would’ve told myself was enough to satisfy my desire for a new thing.

It was as if the speakers heard that same phrase, because nearly every message after that had a point or two about that perspective.

From death to life, I repeated.

So short, yet so profound. I spent months trying to figure out what I was feeling and I dodged all descriptions that sounded too far from the bounds of God’s grace. Because, though I struggle to understand His uniquely intentional love for us, I knew if I admitted I felt unredeemable, what then would have the power to pull me back into this “hope” we are called to live in?

Then someone read 1 Corinthians 5: 17-21 to me.

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here! All this is from God, who reconciled us to Himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation; that God was reconciling the world to Himself in Christ, not counting people’s sins against them. And He has committed to us the message of reconciliation. We are therefore Christ’s ambassadors, as though God were making His appeal through us. We implore you on Christ’s behalf: Be reconciled to God. God made Him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in Him we might become the righteousness of God.”

There is a LOT we could pull from this, but track with me for just a moment.

Sin is in fact what God cannot be in the presence of. For it is all He goes against and the opposite of who He is. The price for it is death. Death is the absence of life. As God is life, that means for one to be dead, they are not connected with God. (Speaking in a spiritual sense here).

This, my friend, is why I fought so hard to identify with anything but dead. For it is the place outside His presence.

I was living with a perspective slowly withering away from God’s truth and instead, making root in the enemy’s territory. I believed the true severity of sin, so I caved when I heard the lies that God would not reach as far as I felt.

But praise God for His written Word.

What we see here in 1 Corinthians, is the beauty of His boundless love. A love so passionate that the grave was not too scary to face nor too powerful to keep Him chained.

Jesus endured death to life, testifying no other force could overcome and no place was too far, even that which was supposed to remain apart from Him.

He did it for me and He did it for you.

My dear friend, there is no place more distant than death, and even still, God extends His hand. He meets us where we are. And He calls us to respond through living. To give up all the life-stripping habits we know and to take on what He offers as we are covered in the grace of Jesus’ sacrifice.

From death to life.

This world is hard to endure, but when it seems as though “life” has run its worth, we have only just discovered the true meaning and value behind that four letter word.

Heavenly Father, teach our weary souls to take on the new, true, perspective of life as we let go of everything else that goes against. Let all we are and do become whole-hearted worship for You, oh Lord.

Living From the Vine

Christian lifestyle

“I am the true vine, and my Father is the vinedresser. Every branch in me that does not bear fruit he takes away, and every branch that does bear fruit he prunes, that it may bear more fruit. Already you are clean because of the word that I have spoken to you.  Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing. If anyone does not abide in me he is thrown away like a branch and withers; and the branches are gathered, thrown into the fire, and burned. If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. By this my Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit and so prove to be my disciples. As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Abide in my love.” – John 15:1-9

As this year comes to a close, I feel as though many of us can agree that it FLEW by. Honestly, when I began reflecting on what I had hoped to accomplish over the last 12 months versus what I actually managed to get done, I grew more disappointed in myself and less hopeful about the year to come.

Perhaps, I thought, I could see the bright side of the unexpected doors I had to walk through, but even that seems impossible. Now more than ever, I feel lost and as though my discernment may be far less trustworthy as I thought.

Though last week, as I was told of this passage above, I realized how much of a blessing the unexpected could be.

When Jesus came to this world, died, and resurrected, He provided a path to salvation, indeed. But He also forged a way for the presence of the Holy Spirit to be available to us on this crazy journey called life. Salvation was not the end, but just the start of the beautiful connection God intended us to have with Him since the dawn of creation.

When we surrender to Jesus as our Savior from sin, we join a family that has a new name and purpose. No longer are we labeled by the shame of our shortcomings, and no longer must we live to redeem ourselves. For by the blood of Christ, we are chosen, beloved, and given a sense of true, unshakeable belonging.

We, as believers, now stand with the Father who is for us, Jesus who was with us, and the Holy Spirit who is in us. The desire for a genuine relationship could not be more evident through God’s love. He longs for a connection that is rooted deep within our hearts. Scripture says that as we abide in Him, He too will abide in us.

What is beautiful about this passage is that the only requirement for His presence is our availability and commitment. He does not claim we must reach a specific educational benchmark, memorize a certain percentage of the Bible, nor make it across a “successful” point in our lives. No. My dear friend, all He asks for is you.

As we reset our focus, priorities, desires, and perspective, Jesus claims that He will be more than enough as our new source.

From death to life, we can be renewed and given a purpose that is not affected in the slightest by our circumstances. For whether we are failing or excelling in the eyes of the world, our calling will remain the same.

This year may have gone by exactly how you had hoped or the exact opposite of what you envisioned. Either way, as we make our home in the heart of God and open ourselves up to let Him do the same in us, in every scenario, we are simply responsible to point all we do and all we are, back to Him. As a cup overflows, we ought to make ourselves available to all He is for the sake of pouring the same into others. For above all else, we must love the Lord and His people.

When you recognize your purpose, value, and place in this world has already been established by our loving God, it does not matter if your plans went south. More than you seek to be successful, you must seek to be obedient.

I struggle still to understand the way the ending will be beautiful in my life. But this sense of pride, thinking we deserve to know it all, is exactly what will keep us in the pit of despair and disappointment.

So perhaps as this year comes to an end and a new one begins, we can establish “new year perspectives” rather than just resolutions. Maybe, as we root ourselves in Christ and allow Him to take root in us, what blocks our vision from His glory will be pruned and removed. Then, we can begin flourishing from a source that will never waiver.

My dear friend, we were not meant to write our own story nor establish our own steps. Outside the presence and involvement of God is the absence of all good, love, hope, and peace. Let your heart rest and a new bud rise as we take on this new year living from the everlasting Vine.

Daily Death For Eternal Life

bible, Christian lifestyle, encouragement

“Relying on God has to begin all over again every day as if nothing had yet been done.” – C. S. Lewis

I think the mind can often draw us towards two extreme ways of thinking. Either we fall into a place where we see ourselves as god, or we see the things, people, and opinions around us as god. Both, despite sounding like polar opposites, are ultimately places of pride.

Whether we feel inferior or superior in the world we live in, we are constantly being pulled away from the one place we belong, and in turn, tempted to rely on anything BUT God.

I think what makes the idea of living in humble confidence under God so difficult to wrap our minds around completely is because we are called to be surrendered, and in result, raised up and set apart.

When I stumbled across this quote by C.S Lewis, I was honestly not sure how to approach it.

Not having the original context, I struggled to understand if it we ought to take this as a freedom call, from the shame and bondage of sin from our past that we are attacked by, or perhaps, it is meant to be a daily call of repentance from the pride we are tempted to lean into as we long for ultimate control of our lives.

Though I feel both could be broken down, I am going to run with the latter interpretation.

I have heard the saying “rejoice, mercies are new every morning!” as Lamentations 3:22-23 suggest. But lately I have been wondering why we ought to rest in that so much.

Honestly, I have come to notice that I am quite the cautious believer. I don’t take pride in the lack of child-like faith I have, but it is the way my mind works. So, I rather challenge the lies in my head and be sure of truth than try to manipulate myself when I know my brain requires a little more time to catch up to my heart.

So as this verse had been running through my head over the last few weeks, I realized it wasn’t because I felt inspired in my faith by it…no, unfortunately, I actually felt aggravated.

Mercy from God? Okay, I saw that displayed on the cross. Understandable. But NEW mercies. Every. Single. Day? Trying to believe that stirred nothing but guilt. I began feeling the weight of inadequacy, and because of that, a lack of faith that the verse actually included me among those who God desired to forgive.

But then I saw this quote from C.S Lewis that rocked everything.

“Relying on God has to begin all over again every day as if nothing had yet been done.”

God provides new mercies every morning because He knew we would need it.

Track with me here…

Our heart longs for what only God provides. But because of our sin-nature of pride and hunger for immediate satisfaction, we sacrifice God’s plans for our own. We may not notice at first, but that decision means that we sacrifice life for death.

Death is existence apart from God. In a just court, we would be ruled guilty of rejecting Him and in turn, rightfully condemned.

Oh but what a loving God we serve…

Paving a way to be free from the ruling of death, by the sacrifice of Jesus, God revealed His grace on the cross.

But He knew that wouldn’t mean perfection for our future, nor did He expect it to on this side of Heaven.

He knew, that because of our brokenness, there would be times where we would still choose ourselves over Him.

He knew, that even though we love Him, we would cave under the temptation to reject Him.

And He knew, that no matter how hard we tried, we would never be strong enough to live the life He called us to alone.

So God gives new mercies…every single morning. Why? Because He knew we would experience new temptations…every single morning.

When C.S Lewis calls us to rely on Jesus as if nothing had yet been done, I realize it is a call to open our eyes to the reality of the war going on every single day.

Every day we are given the choice of life or death. Truth or lies. Forgiveness or bitterness. Love or shame. Trust or control.

Spiritual warfare is not just in big trials. It is unfortunately the ground our hearts reside in until we see Heaven.

My dear friend, you have your choice in battle. You have a loving God who wants to protect, nourish, and redeem you in this war, for He has already claimed victory.

But the choice is yours. Every. Single. Day.

May we never get complacent in our relationship with Jesus. May we strive, for nothing else, but to be closer to Him day by day. And with all my heart, I pray that we may rejoice in His mercies being new every morning…for if He held back for even just one day, we would never see the glory of true life.

So, will you make relying on God a daily act of surrender?

at a loss.

bible, christian, Christian lifestyle, easter, encouragement, lifestyle, prayer, Worship

I don’t really want to write anything right now. Like if I could hide away in my room for the next few years, or maybe decades, I totally would.

I write this blog on Monday, March 27th, 2023. Four days before I put down my best friend. My baby. My beloved 14 year old pekingese, Macho. I didn’t want to write anything because I didn’t want anyone to ask about him or ask how I am doing because it will just make me feel worse. But for some aggravating reason, God keeps weighing this post on my mind. And yes, I say aggravating because I REALLY don’t want to think about it, much less write and post about it. But maybe God wants to speak to someone besides me, or maybe it is just for me to look back on as the encouragement I may desperately need in the coming weeks. I guess we shall see.

One thing a lot of people don’t know about me is that I struggle a lot with being joyful. But recently, when I would think about what I have to do in four days, God has been reminding me that there is ALWAYS good to find. Crazy, I know. Believe me, He knows I think it is absolutely insane to see any glimpse of goodness in this time. But He persisted with this promise every time I would try to negotiate Him giving Macho 20 more years of life in exchange for literally anything I could give up. In all honesty, it was kind of annoying. As I said, I struggle with being joyful quite a bit. Not because I can’t see it, but because after so many disappointments in my life, I tend to not even try to look.

But that’s just it. If Jesus, in all His glory, is standing 1 foot away from me, but I keep my eyes and ears closed in the name of “protecting my heart from another disappointment”, it is not His fault that I cannot see His goodness.

I heard this song by Hannah McClure called “Always good”. I love that song…usually. But when I was thinking about what is about to happen, all the song did was make me mad. How can God ALWAYS be good, or turn things for good, if things like this have to happen? Like why even exhaust myself trying to see this glimpse of glory if it is only a result of the massive storm of pain?

Then my mind reminded my heart of this: John 3:16. Genesis 37. Genesis 6-9. Ruth. Daniel 3. and so on.

In each and every one of those stories, there was a devastating or super scary experience or event that happened just before God revealed exactly where His goodness had been the whole time. And yes, Jesus is included in the list. God Himself, lost His Son. Not by natural death, but by sacrifice because He knew it was the most loving expression anyone could do.

Ironically, Easter is in just a few weeks. But three days before that is a day that should be very dark. It’s the day Jesus died. The day that Heaven went silent, in a mixture of mourning and anticipation for the promise of the coming goodness. We call it Good Friday only because we can testify of the genuine goodness that followed that devastating event.

But what about times like now? Where the only thing in sight is the devastation. The loss. The event that honestly seems impossible to be turned in any other direction besides depressing.

My dear friend, if those are your thoughts, I am right there with you. But I have learned some stuff recently. And although I am slow to wanting to feel gratitude towards anything right now, I have to say, I believe God has prepared me for this moment with snippets of truth He brought me through the blessing of others over the last few months:

Joy is a choice. You can be joyful without feeling happy. It is okay to be sad, God designed us with emotions, but it is not okay to let the sadness be louder than the truth from the voice of the Spirit. The mind can know truth without the heart believing it. In this case, choosing to surrender your heart to God even when it feels pointless is your most important task. And lastly, God is ALWAYS good. His plans are good and beautiful regardless of the mess you feel entangled in.

Again I say, joy, and honestly, experiencing anything pertaining to the character of God, IS. A. CHOICE.

It is a choice that only you can make. And it is a choice that requires discipline over motivation. Wisdom over feelings. And faith over sight.

This is definitely not the first time I have felt this way about life and the goodness of God and honestly, I am pretty sure it is no where near the last time. But that is just it. Life is a cycle of ups and downs, not because God’s goodness changes, but because we fail to choose consistent faith in who He is.

Like a roller coaster about to make it’s big drop, we close our eyes in fear of what lies ahead. We scream in chaos because we are overwhelmed by the experience. But friend, the longer you close your eyes and the louder you scream, the more time you will spend shutting out the potential goodness Jesus want’s to show you and the less you will hear the voice of truth and peace that the Spirit wants to whisper to you.

Dear tender-hearted reader…and future me, I know goodness is the last thing you want someone to tell you to “try to see”. I know numbing emotions, sulking, or distracting yourself may seem a lot more intriguing. But worldly solutions were not meant to heal a heart designed and crafted in Heaven. Only our gracious, and yes, very good, Creator can properly handle that beautiful, yet broken heart in a way that will last.

Be honest in your pain. But do not misplace your desperation when searching for healing. You belong to God. And oh boy, is there so much great freedom in that.

Choose to believe the fruit will one day bloom from your soil that seems to only be getting tilled right now.

So…where do I see the goodness in losing my dog? Well, the truth is, I don’t. But perhaps the glory of this moment will come to life after my own. Perhaps the goodness was meant to be seen in the life he lived. Or perhaps it is in the fact that he no longer has to suffer. Whatever it is, wherever it is, does not change the truth that it is somewhere. So may worship continue according to the truth I know, as God is still always good, even when I can’t see it.