“Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.” – Luke 23:34

“Does that make sense?”…is surely one of the sayings those around me hear quite often.

As much as I love words and on certain topics, I can speak a lot, I select my words very intentionally and carefully. Not because I want to sound smart or fancy, but because I believe each and every word either glorifies myself or God. Scripture’s description of people who blabber has convicted me immensely over the last couple years.

Nonetheless, despite my effort to produce the most clear statements or questions, I find myself longing for the assurance of being understood.

I never really noticed this until I had been teaching and my students would get frustrated with my extended pauses as I searched for the right words to say and then asked if all made sense. Though they see boredom in the silence, deep down, I know I spared them valuable time being wasted on listening to words I would have to restate in countless other ways as I pressed my brain to communicate clearly without any order.

Though some appreciate the intentionality, others have yet to see the point, and in fact still demand immediate satisfaction. They demand knowledge without giving room for understanding. For I cannot begin to explain how often someone has told me to inform them of something just to be able to claim they are in “the know”. Not knowing the value, worth, or purpose of the information received, they are still somehow content.

And unfortunately, I am not just referring to children I have met. Even grown adults I know seem driven by a hunger of pride, pressuring them to run with information they do not understand.

For some reason this past week or so my heart has felt heavy towards many people I spoke with because I felt my words went in one ear and out the other. I couldn’t quite grasp why it affected me more recently, as this is something I have grown used to. But it really hurt this last few weeks.

I never found out why it was more painful, but I did find out, or at least a partial reason as to why it grieves me when I am not understood.

In the rising conflict of Jesus’ life, we see a little story discussed in Mark that hints to how the character of God is.

In a town called Bethany, Jesus and the disciples were gathering for a meal at a man named Simon’s house. As they were eating, a woman came in with a very expensive jar of perfume. Surely, one of her most valuable possessions. Yet, without hesitation before the Messiah, she broke the jar and anointed Jesus by pouring it over him.

Immediately, she was judged. Not by Jesus, but by his companions. Those who have walked with him and followed him for roughly three years now, were annoyed at what she had just done. “Why is this waste of perfume? It could have been sold for more than a year’s wages and the money given to the poor.” they scolded her (v. 4-5).

Though that statement has some good intention, Jesus expresses something critical here.

He responded, “She did what she could. She poured perfume on my body beforehand to prepare for my burial. Truly I tell you, wherever the Gospel is preached throughout the world, what she has done will also be told, in memory of her.” (v. 8-9).

Around Jesus in this moment were two types of people. One who understood what He had been teaching them and foreshadowing, and one group who heard all He had said, but did not understand it.

As we look through Scripture, we see Jesus is gentle, humble, loving, merciful, forgiving, compassionate, truthful, and just. And we see prophetic word of what He came to do way before He even walked this earth. Yet somehow, though all that information was received in the heads of the disciples, they were slow to comprehend what was coming.

Now I am not saying they didn’t understand any thing He taught, but it is clear in this account that they were not aware of the cost Christ was going to cover for them. It was worth everything. And that woman who gave up her time, resources, and pride revealed what Jesus wanted us to understand.

Nothing, no reputation or material thing is worth more than Him, nor should anything be held from being offered for Him.

In our lives now, that truth is the same, though it may look different for us. I am not telling you to smash your Miss Dior perfume or Sauvage cologne and pour it out, but I am encouraging you to assess your greatest possessions, dreams, and talents and consider if you have cast them to the Lord, willing to let Him use them or take them away in any manner He pleases.

This woman was rebuked by the disciples, those who were supposed to reflect God’s gentle spirit, and yet she did not give up. In fact, she let her actions speak for her devotion to Jesus. Why? Because she understood Him.

When I think of Jesus in this moment, I can’t help but imagine He is a little bit sad that after everything, his closest friends still did not understand what was to come.

This is the very moment in Mark that I realized why we grow weary when our words are not given time to be processed. If anyone lived a life where every word they spoke had great purpose, it was Jesus Christ. Yet He was misunderstood by so many, so often.

That was it. Perhaps why my heart was so down recently was because of my lack of noticing how much God just seeks understanding. Not for pride, but because He knows what is best. He knows what will lead us to eternity with Him. And He knows what we do now matters beyond the so many decades we are walking this earth.

It was then that I realized sometimes we long for things and get frustrated, expecting to receive certain things we do not even give to God.

As I have mentioned in my past blogs, I began writing my prayers last, and I believe one struggle I still face often is the rushing of “listening time”. As I write, I am thinking and saying all I desire to God, though once I put the period after “amen”, I find myself giving little time for allowing God to help me truly understand Him and His ways more deeply.

But what a blessing it is to have a merciful God.

My spirit grieved, perhaps because the Holy Spirit wanted me to see that I long for the very thing I sometimes refuse to give God time for. Understanding is something that comes only with intentionality.

Today is Good Friday. As I was praying about what to write for this blog, truly I couldn’t think of how to approach this day or even mention it. Especially, since some of you may read this at a later time.

Though I have just been reminded of something I believe can add to our understanding of who God is.

In Luke 23:34, Jesus had just been crucified and beaten. This was a time I would deem justifiable for Him to be angry or disappointed at those who hurt and mocked Him. But thank the Lord, He has a more merciful heart than me. Of all the things He could have said, Jesus cried out, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.”

Read that again.

“They” is referring to the ones who put Him there. Not just physically, but because of their sin. That means…us to.

Each and every one of the sins we commit point back to the cross and why we needed Jesus to endure it. But not one of them stopped Him from following through…

My dear friend, what more could we ask from a God than one driven by love to endure the consequences of our actions all because we let pride move us rather than seeking understanding.

We didn’t understand how obeying Him in the garden was more important than power. We didn’t understand His desire for us to be free and together with Him in the Exodus. We didn’t understand serving Him was more important than all our possessions, our dreams, our reputation when He walked this earth. And even still today, we struggle to understand the value of the cross and the grave He overcame for us.

He didn’t go through that just so we could laugh together. Nor that we could walk around with a title that sets us apart from others. Jesus Christ came, suffered, loved, served, died, and rose so that we may have eternal communion with Him. That our lives may be a living sacrifice to Him and our eternity may be rich with His love and grace.

There is no middle ground or casual Christianity. Perhaps we must begin seeking a greater understanding of what a life – and I am referring to every breath from salvation to your death – looks like when Christ is truly the Lord over everything else in your world.

I pray you begin to understand Jesus more deeply so that nothing is considered more great in your life than Him.

Thoughts to Consider:

Do you make room in your life to stop the talking and find rest in seeking knowledge so that you can focus on truly understanding who God is and what matters most?

What are the things you hold onto that may be preventing your quiet time or intentional longing for grasping the purpose of God’s call in your life?

How can you begin implementing a time focused on understanding Him in your daily routine?

Consider the weight of His sacrifice for you and how all good things we desire first come from the perfect portion of desires in God.

“Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.” – Luke 23:34