“Then the disciple whom Jesus loved said to Peter, ‘It is the Lord!’ As soon as Simon Peter heard him say, ‘It is the Lord,’ he wrapped his outer garment around him (for he had taken it off) and jumped into the water.” – John 21:7
What a difference it makes in a broken person’s life to understand the nature of Jesus.
Mistakes happen. Some brush it off, some learn from them, and some – well, I fear too many of us – allow them to define them and their way of thinking. Our responses vary based on the severity of our wrong doings, but nevertheless, they often have a greater impact on us than we would like to admit.
In the end of the Gospel of John, we come across the denial from Peter. A man who walked with Christ in the flesh and learned from Him for roughly three years…fell short. When times got tense and his physical life was at stake, he let go of what mattered most for what he thought was more important at the time.
But can we blame him? As much as we want to say that we would have done it differently, is that really true? How often do we break our commitment to obeying God for immediate satisfaction in just the span of one week? We are no different than Peter. For all we have known since our first breath, was life on earth. So it is only natural for us to protect it above all else when it is at risk of being taken. Regardless of how much we believe in eternity, we have yet to experience it. So now, we see that we stand in very similar sandals of this broken, sinful disciple.
We’ve let people down. We’ve said rude things. We have chosen to satisfy ourselves over helping another. We have fallen short. Time and time again. But may we not forget the nature of the loving One we made our commitment to.
After the denial, Peter went back to what he did prior to meeting Jesus. He was fishing with his friends. After trying all night, the morning comes and a man from the shore directs them to cast their nets again. Surely doubtful, yet in obedience, they throw their nets and pull up an abundance. Without much time passing, John recognizes the man was Jesus. In saying it, Peter immediately jumps out of the boat and swims towards Christ.
When they met, Jesus had prepared breakfast for them and we then see one of the most loving moments ever. Jesus asks Peter if he loves Him. Not once. Not twice. But the same amount of times that he denied Him. After each time, He gave Peter a responsibility. This is an incredible moment, for we see that Jesus, though rejected by his own friend, leads us in how we ought to forgive. Not because He needed to, but because His love for us is so very strong.
In this moment, Peter had two options. He could either say, “I have betrayed you, there is no way I can grow the kingdom.”, and then return to fishing, that which he had known about well and found security in. Or he could pursue the next step in the establishment of the early church, trusting that the new identity and call from Jesus was possible despite his brokenness.
I want to note that it wasn’t a matter of the specific job, it was about the call. Would he let go of what he found purpose in prior to meeting Christ so that he can work towards expanding the kingdom, or will his failure and desire for security and familiarity consume him?
I have always struggled with my immediate thoughts. When I get hurt, I may have learned to hold in my outward expressions, but it is always a battle in my mind. Whether it is bitterness, rude thoughts, a grudge, or the internal planning of my next petty move, I could not seem to change inwardly.
The other day, it occurred to me the type of person I was becoming. A hypocrite. My thoughts were allowed to run wild as long as my outward emotions remained contained because “taking captive every thought” was just too exhausting.
I held onto my brokenness as though it were a part of who I was created to be. But when I recognized that it was the complete opposite of how Christ loved others, I broke down. I could not even finish praying, for I felt so very ashamed. I felt disgusting before the Lord.
I went to sleep that night and awoke with the same empty, shaky feeling in my chest. The same one I felt after every big failure in my life. This was it. This was how I figured I would remain, for how could one altar their immediate thoughts? And if I couldn’t figure it out, how could I ever believe a loving God would want such a bitter person to have a part in His good plans?
Then, my scripture reading for that morning was the story I had just explained. The last chapter of John.
I imagine Peter felt guilt. And maybe he even lost hope in his potential of growing God’s kingdom. But what brought him to a place where he could be made new, was his faith in the nature of Christ. His faith in the One who met him where he was and promised to never leave him.
Peter went after Christ because he understood that Jesus was forgiving. He knew He was the One who makes old become new and the broken, redeemed. But he wouldn’t experience that if he hid in the boat because of his shame.
I sat there after reading that in complete awe. How many times have I avoided time with the Lord because I was ashamed of my actions? I cannot even count how many times I let my fear and my disappointment in myself steal moments I could rest in the forgiving presence of Christ.
The God we serve is the God of new things. I never thought about that deeply until last year when I was at a loss of where my life was going and God spoke, “from death to life” to me. It meant so much. But the expectancy I had for God to do that again has died down. To be transparent, I forgot about it. And in my lack of remembering, I let the lies of the enemy take root.
My disappointment, shame, hopelessness, and guilt drove my life. And for so long, I saw my mistakes as the reason I could not be who God calls us to become. But praise Him, for I was so wrong.
My dear friend, our brokenness is the very thing that God wants us to lay before Him so that He can make us new. Until we believe that He is greater than our mistakes, we will not understand the nature of who He is. For what significance does His forgiveness have if we were not in desperate need of it? His gentle, forgiving response to our failures is the path we must go through to become who He calls us to be. For our brokenness is the seemingly barren ground that He actually longs to make fruitful.
Henri J. M. Nouwen states, “If you are ready to listen from your brokenness then something new can come forth in you.“
Thoughts to Consider:
Is there any area of your life that you are not allowing God to change because you prefer the security it brings you?
Would you recognize God’s voice if it came in a way you didn’t expect? (This comes from time spent learning it.)
How can you take action towards letting God make new what you see as unredeemable?
Consider the life change you could experience and share if you not only knew but whole heartedly believed that God’s nature is one of boundless love.
“Then the disciple whom Jesus loved said to Peter, ‘It is the Lord!’ As soon as Simon Peter heard him say, ‘It is the Lord,’ he wrapped his outer garment around him (for he had taken it off) and jumped into the water.” – John 21:7
