Godly living

The Blessings In Questions

bible, Christian lifestyle, prayer

Asking questions has always been one of my favorite things. This was, however, with the exception of asking God any questions. It wasn’t because I was afraid of the answer, or of His response. Rather, I didn’t believe it was my place, nor did it resemble the kind of blind, yet strong, faith that I assumed those around me had growing up. But recently, it has been very different.

Amidst my walk with Christ, I came to the point where I couldn’t handle not throwing up a few questions to God anymore. If you read my “at a loss” blog, you can see this change in a decently raw form. Was it easy? Not in the slightest.

To me, asking God questions always made me feel as though I was doubting who He was or had a weak faith that couldn’t just accept the way things are. But my dear friend, I am delighted to tell you; after a long walk of shamefully seeking answers to the questions I had been ignorantly shoving under the rug, I have come to believe, and I mean truly hold onto with great gratitude, the truth that God welcomes our questions without condemnation.

One of my favorites books in the Bible is Habakkuk. I like it because he asks a lot of questions and God’s response is still so sweet. He isn’t angry, annoyed, or shocked. Nor does He make Habakkuk feel dumb for asking anything. Instead, Habakkuk is reminded of the faithful character of God, the power of His hand, and the perfect timing of the Lord’s judgement and grace. Read along with me.

In the very start of the book, Habakkuk cries out; “How long, LORD, must I call for help…”

In all honesty, this resonates deeply. So many times, especially recently on this hunt for various answers and a better understanding of God, the waiting has felt endless. And in some cases, pointless. I’d jot down a concern or a promise I struggled to understand how it could be accessible, and months would go by with no response…or so I thought.

We see chapter 1 split into 3 sections; Habakkuk’s first complaint, God’s answer, and Habakkuk’s second complaint. When I first read those titles, I was shocked that after hearing from God like Habakkuk did, he would dare to have a second round of questions. But after looking back over these last few months, I can’t shame this man, for I have done the very same thing.

What took me so long to notice, and friend, I hope you listen closely to this, is that amidst my hunt for a big answer, God gave me countless little answers and truths that He knew my heart needed before arriving to the one I asked for.

Isn’t it incredible to have a God who knows what we need and when the best time to receive it is? We can sometimes think it is best to have all the cards of life before us, but honestly, if we did, I do not believe we would make the right decisions with them. Just look in each of our pasts.

So as we walk along in this thing called life, without all the cards, we are left with an unclear future. And without clarity, comes questions. Could God truly have a specific path for me? How is His good revealed in grief? Where is He when everything we know to be “best for us” is falling apart? Why does He seemingly stand idle while our hearts slip and smash into millions of pieces?..

The questions could go on and on. And some will tell you to just read the Bible more. I agree. But my friend, Jesus didn’t die strictly so that you would be compelled to finish that “read the whole Bible in a year” challenge. He died so you and God could have a personal, everlasting relationship with one another. One that needs no intercessor besides the Son and Spirit of God Himself. There is an insane amount of intimacy God longs to have with us. And honestly, as someone who gets shy from the judgement of others when I ask biblical questions, I am beyond thankful for the individual, private relationship we are offered.

It took a VERY long time for me to feel the freedom of seeking greater knowledge and wisdom through my misunderstandings, doubts, and worries. Though it began as a shameful walk, it is now a blessing I couldn’t imagine going without for any longer than I already have. Yes, I stumble. Yes, I ask a million follow-up questions. Yes, I ask for more details on the promises He makes decently clear in Scripture. And yes, I plead with God to answer quicker for the sake of my sanity. But on my journey to learning how to ask questions while having complete trust in His perfectly formed and timed answers, I have seen nothing but a patient and gracious God.

Habakkuk ends his last prayer as a word of praise. Not yet seeing the answer completely fulfilled, this man so similar in his questions as you and I, says this; “Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines. Though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food. Though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls. Yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my Savior. The sovereign Lord is my strength;”

Life, I think, was not meant to be aimlessly walked through. I believe God reveals Himself in more mesmerizing ways every time we seek a deeper understanding of who He is and how He acts. Not just for our own sake, but also for those we get the honor of doing life with. Questions bring answers that build knowledge. And knowledge gives us the ability to grow wisdom. And a wise life, dear Christian, is one that God can use radically for His will and kingdom.

The more we know about our loving God, the deeper rooted our faith becomes and the greater our confidence in God can be during our weakness. Not by our own means, but through His grace alone. Lean in, layout your questions, and let God reveal His wonders within the process.

A Heart That Endures

bible, Christian lifestyle, easter, prayer

 “For as we share abundantly in Christ’s sufferings, so through Christ we share abundantly in comfort too.” – 2 Corinthians 1:5

As Easter came and went, I have been thinking about one particular part of scripture more than usual.

Last week was Passion week. And as you may know, more specifically, last Friday was Good Friday. This was the day Jesus was crucified for our sake. Though a gruesome day, many take delight as they know the resurrection is coming. But for some reason, I couldn’t get past the thought of the pain Jesus experienced. Indeed, the lashing and beatings were a part of the suffering, but what honestly took hold of the majority of my thoughts was the night before His crucifixion.

Jesus was known to draw away from the crowd to pray often, but this night was different. After the last supper, He makes his way up to a place called the Mount of Olives. Here, He departs from His disciples and finds a secluded spot to connect once more with God the Father. And this my friend, was where one of the most relatable moments (in my opinion) of Jesus was recorded.

“Father…”, He cries in a mixture of anguish and hope, “…if you are willing…”, as blood begins to take the place of His sweat, “…take this cup from Me…”

In the most raw form, Jesus expresses this heart seeking a way around the coming trial. But as He and all other believers knew, the only way to eternally redeem what has been broken by sin, was through overcoming death. The suffering was inevitable.

With trust in His Father and an overwhelming love for us, Jesus chose to take up a suffering He did not deserve.

And so with great love, He continues His prayer, “…yet not My will, but Yours be done.”

I can only imagine the weight Jesus felt pressing down on Him during this prayer. But nonetheless, He endured.

I speak not of an enduring that simply accepts the future with despair, but with the same endurance Paul speaks of in 2 Corinthians 1.

The Greek word used for endurance in verse 6 is hupomone. This refers to an enduring that lives through the suffering with a vibrant form of hope that keeps a person from being crushed under the weight of the trial.

Often times, I find myself in a mindset that relates so much to the first part of Jesus’ prayer. As I imagine what the future holds, I think, is this truly what the days ahead entail? As waves of despair continue to knock me over day after day, how is it that I can keep going?

Your trials may seem different than mine, but we find commonality in the fact that none of us, not one, can fully escape these troubles as long as we live in this broken world.

But thank God we are offered more comfort than simply community within broken people. May it be the love of God that gives us the hope to endure in the way Paul speaks of.

Jesus Understands Us

Because Christ suffered and experienced temptation, He knows the thoughts that flow through our mind and the pressures we are put under. He not only knows, but He understands that we have a natural desire to lean into the things that lead us away from Him because of our sin nature. While He understands we will never be perfect, He still loves us. He still pursues us. And He longs for us to rest in His comfort when we feel as though the burdens are far too heavy.

Verses 3-4 reveal the gentle heart of God as it says, “Praise be to God the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles…”

It is clear God knows the kind of lives we will experience here on earth. And yet even in our mistakes, confusion, frustrations, and moments of despair, He shows us His love by assuring us that He too, the God above all things, has suffered and is saddened by our hurts. But because He has overcome, we no longer have to endure as if we are “a victim in a dentist’s chair” (David Guzik). May the striving cease as we learn to accept the real identity God gave us…redeemed, not perfect.

Jesus Still Delivers Us

It is common to feel distressed and worn down amidst great trials. Especially when they have lasted for so long already. But as we reflect back on the week we just recently celebrated, we can hold on to hope because Jesus has indeed resurrected. In verses 8-10, Paul speaks of a great trouble he has been facing. So great, in fact, that he “despaired of life itself.” Though experiencing great suffering, he goes on to remind us that it is through these pains that we are reminded to rely not on ourselves, but on the only one who has claimed victory over death; Jesus.

Verses 9-10 emphasize the truth that we must engrain in our minds and hearts so that when spiritual warfare comes, it is the voice of God that prevails. God has, still, and will deliver us, not because we are worthy, but because He is the God of mercy and grace. I heard this song once say we should have “the kind of daring expectation, that every prayer [we] make is on an empty grave.”

What a beautiful truth to rest in after celebrating Easter.

Jesus Turns Evil For Good

But perhaps beauty is not in your near sight as you continue to suffer. My dear friend, I feel deeply for your longsuffering. But if there is anything we can rest on amidst this temptation of falling into hopelessness, it is that we serve a God whose plans are ALWAYS good and beautiful. What I have experienced in many of my trials is that sometimes, what we learn in our pain can result in the freedom of others.

I know it is not always easy to watch others be healed when it is all you could ever dream of, but I want you to listen closely today. Jesus endured the suffering of all our sin, with a vibrant hope, for us…not Himself. And Paul, alongside many other patriarchs of the faith, have endured in the same hope-driven way. Many of them actually died as a martyr. Meaning their suffering only saw it’s peace and healing in Heaven.

Nonetheless, God used them as vessels to extend His love to generations to come. All throughout this section of scripture, Paul chooses to take delight in his suffering for the possibility of being a blessing to others. May that be our prayer and our hope. For the sake of glorifying a God worthy of it all, may we pray for a heart that endures as we finish our prayer of lament the same way Jesus does; “…yet not my will, but Yours be done.”

at a loss.

bible, christian, Christian lifestyle, easter, encouragement, lifestyle, prayer, Worship

I don’t really want to write anything right now. Like if I could hide away in my room for the next few years, or maybe decades, I totally would.

I write this blog on Monday, March 27th, 2023. Four days before I put down my best friend. My baby. My beloved 14 year old pekingese, Macho. I didn’t want to write anything because I didn’t want anyone to ask about him or ask how I am doing because it will just make me feel worse. But for some aggravating reason, God keeps weighing this post on my mind. And yes, I say aggravating because I REALLY don’t want to think about it, much less write and post about it. But maybe God wants to speak to someone besides me, or maybe it is just for me to look back on as the encouragement I may desperately need in the coming weeks. I guess we shall see.

One thing a lot of people don’t know about me is that I struggle a lot with being joyful. But recently, when I would think about what I have to do in four days, God has been reminding me that there is ALWAYS good to find. Crazy, I know. Believe me, He knows I think it is absolutely insane to see any glimpse of goodness in this time. But He persisted with this promise every time I would try to negotiate Him giving Macho 20 more years of life in exchange for literally anything I could give up. In all honesty, it was kind of annoying. As I said, I struggle with being joyful quite a bit. Not because I can’t see it, but because after so many disappointments in my life, I tend to not even try to look.

But that’s just it. If Jesus, in all His glory, is standing 1 foot away from me, but I keep my eyes and ears closed in the name of “protecting my heart from another disappointment”, it is not His fault that I cannot see His goodness.

I heard this song by Hannah McClure called “Always good”. I love that song…usually. But when I was thinking about what is about to happen, all the song did was make me mad. How can God ALWAYS be good, or turn things for good, if things like this have to happen? Like why even exhaust myself trying to see this glimpse of glory if it is only a result of the massive storm of pain?

Then my mind reminded my heart of this: John 3:16. Genesis 37. Genesis 6-9. Ruth. Daniel 3. and so on.

In each and every one of those stories, there was a devastating or super scary experience or event that happened just before God revealed exactly where His goodness had been the whole time. And yes, Jesus is included in the list. God Himself, lost His Son. Not by natural death, but by sacrifice because He knew it was the most loving expression anyone could do.

Ironically, Easter is in just a few weeks. But three days before that is a day that should be very dark. It’s the day Jesus died. The day that Heaven went silent, in a mixture of mourning and anticipation for the promise of the coming goodness. We call it Good Friday only because we can testify of the genuine goodness that followed that devastating event.

But what about times like now? Where the only thing in sight is the devastation. The loss. The event that honestly seems impossible to be turned in any other direction besides depressing.

My dear friend, if those are your thoughts, I am right there with you. But I have learned some stuff recently. And although I am slow to wanting to feel gratitude towards anything right now, I have to say, I believe God has prepared me for this moment with snippets of truth He brought me through the blessing of others over the last few months:

Joy is a choice. You can be joyful without feeling happy. It is okay to be sad, God designed us with emotions, but it is not okay to let the sadness be louder than the truth from the voice of the Spirit. The mind can know truth without the heart believing it. In this case, choosing to surrender your heart to God even when it feels pointless is your most important task. And lastly, God is ALWAYS good. His plans are good and beautiful regardless of the mess you feel entangled in.

Again I say, joy, and honestly, experiencing anything pertaining to the character of God, IS. A. CHOICE.

It is a choice that only you can make. And it is a choice that requires discipline over motivation. Wisdom over feelings. And faith over sight.

This is definitely not the first time I have felt this way about life and the goodness of God and honestly, I am pretty sure it is no where near the last time. But that is just it. Life is a cycle of ups and downs, not because God’s goodness changes, but because we fail to choose consistent faith in who He is.

Like a roller coaster about to make it’s big drop, we close our eyes in fear of what lies ahead. We scream in chaos because we are overwhelmed by the experience. But friend, the longer you close your eyes and the louder you scream, the more time you will spend shutting out the potential goodness Jesus want’s to show you and the less you will hear the voice of truth and peace that the Spirit wants to whisper to you.

Dear tender-hearted reader…and future me, I know goodness is the last thing you want someone to tell you to “try to see”. I know numbing emotions, sulking, or distracting yourself may seem a lot more intriguing. But worldly solutions were not meant to heal a heart designed and crafted in Heaven. Only our gracious, and yes, very good, Creator can properly handle that beautiful, yet broken heart in a way that will last.

Be honest in your pain. But do not misplace your desperation when searching for healing. You belong to God. And oh boy, is there so much great freedom in that.

Choose to believe the fruit will one day bloom from your soil that seems to only be getting tilled right now.

So…where do I see the goodness in losing my dog? Well, the truth is, I don’t. But perhaps the glory of this moment will come to life after my own. Perhaps the goodness was meant to be seen in the life he lived. Or perhaps it is in the fact that he no longer has to suffer. Whatever it is, wherever it is, does not change the truth that it is somewhere. So may worship continue according to the truth I know, as God is still always good, even when I can’t see it.

In The Waiting – resting on the faithfulness of God when the future is unclear

christian, encouragement, lifestyle

“Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised, is faithful.”

-Hebrews 10:23

What I have come to realize is that you can make your vision board, build new disciplines, and focus all of your attention on the thing you are passionate about. But if it is not in God’s timing for you to be at a specific point in life, no amount of work can push you past His sovereignty.

You may meet people, get jobs, or get great opportunities through your hard work, but you know when it is not the door you have been praying God opens. Sometimes, or maybe if you are like me, a LOT of the time, the goal we seek to reach is often standing at the end of a long marathon of everyone’s favorite thing…waiting.

Believe me, I have been there. And in all honesty, I am still so far from the end of that great marathon I believe God is walking me through. Of course there are many blessings God reveals along the way. But what I speak of now is the period of time between the big dream and the actual experience.

Normally, my way of coping my anxiety and lost hope in these moments is through reminding myself that God is a God of seasons. And if I really feel like He is calling me to something, I believe eventually the flowers will bloom again. But lately, this strategy has been having a hard time giving me lasting peace. And thankfully, God seemed to have noticed because just the other day, He smacked me with a mountain of truth that left me in complete awe.

“I will believe I can know peace without knowing what comes next.” – Morgan Harper Nichols.

Maybe this quote doesn’t quite knock your socks off. But after enduring what has felt like forever of door after door shutting in my face, leaving me with nothing but confusion and growing insecurities, this hit deep. And just before I heard this quote, this one topic kept coming up around me: We cannot afford to live without being in awestruck wonder of God. Every. Single. Day.

But in order to capture the depth of that thought, we must first understand the verse above. This one verse speaks in three different tenses.

“Let us hold fast…” is in present tense. It is an instruction for what to do right now with the hope that God gives. “He who promised” is in future tense. Pointing to the statements of power and experience that have yet to be revealed in fullness. It is also offering the place where you find the hope it previously directs you to “hold fast” to. Lastly, “is faithful” is in past tense. This tells how the glory of God has already been expressed and has been proven credible.

But what truly drove me to this verse was the order in which it was written. It provided wisdom for the present and a peace for the future by reminding you of the past.

As the creator of time, God knows how it effects us. He knows that it grows us, but also limits us. With time being so powerful over our mortality, isn’t it such a blessing that God reveals Himself to be even more powerful over time? I would argue that although the present and future take up a large part of our concerns, it is often the past that drives our anxiety because we do not want the bad moments to find their way into impacting our limited future. Maybe you use the past as a growth opportunity or maybe you cannot seem to get over it. Regardless, its authority in our lives is undoubtedly influential.

What is truly beautiful is how God reveals Himself to be present in all 3 tenses, but it is the past that He uses to build our peace. The past is the only tense that will remain consistent. Nothing you do now or in the future will effect what has already happened.

Sound familiar? I am immediately reminded of the picture of God’s love. Because of what Jesus has done on the cross in the past, my present and future are covered in His grace because regardless of the changing seasons, His love was portrayed on Calvary and nothing I do can change what has already happened.

This my dear friend, is why reflecting on how you are left in awestruck wonder of God every single day is so critical to how you handle your future. As you force your eyes to seek God’s glory, regardless of your uncertain future and confusing present, you will still have a peace to abide in.

I don’t know if you caught it, but the quote from Nichols above is actually a statement in which she is aiming to discipline herself to, not a statement of how she naturally is. If you want to be at peace even when the next step in life is as foggy as can be, you need to steward your thoughts towards that which reminds you of the glory of God.

Waiting is hard. I am not going to pretend like it will be an exciting experience even after you build a God-glorifying mindset. But there will be a difference when you begin prioritizing a perspective reflecting God’s own. That invisible yet monumental feeling of being content in your present and hopeful in your future is captured in 5 little letters; peace. The peace of God is what allows us to focus on every moment and it’s great potential as anxiety bows and striving ceases.

I am sorry if you have been waiting for something for a long time. I really am, but acknowledging the burden of waiting on our own strength is the first step towards a peaceful freedom. So do not lose hope my friend because the faithfulness of the One you find your peace in has never and will never change. It is not temporary happiness nor numbing despair that will make your waiting season reveal it’s great purpose. I pray that the comfort of Christ meets you where you are in that long, long marathon so that the journey towards the finish line may become a part of the faithfulness you can look back on in the future.

Rest in His peace because He who promised is faithful indeed!

It’s LOVE Day!

Christian lifestyle

“for God so LOVED the world, that He gave His one and only begotten Son that whosoever believes in Him shall not perish but have everlasting life.” – John 3:16

It’s Valentines Day! This day, I feel, has a mixed response from many. Some are over joyed to spend the day with their significant other. Some simply go about the day just as any other. Some celebrate with their family or friends. And some grieve as they remember their lost loved ones.

I realize the sensitivity of this day is the same as many other holidays dedicated to celebrating certain people. But as I contemplated the way in which one could be happy on this day regardless of their circumstance, I had a thought.

What if we disciplined ourselves to express TRUE love to absolutely everyone we encounter this day?

The kind of love that is patient, forgiving, selfless, encouraging, comforting, etc. What kind of transformation would the lives of those around you have if you showed them a glimpse of the most real love?

I am sure you have heard people say “you should treat your significant other like its Valentine’s Day everyday” or “you should show Gods love everyday”. But the reality is, we are not perfect. There are days where expressing the kind of patient and unconditional love we are commanded to share is the LAST thing we want to do. Not to say that as an excuse, I am simply pointing out the flaw of being human.

So what if instead, we challenged ourselves REALLY hard to do it today?

I believe the impact that the Holy Spirit on our heart always results in change. When a person truly acknowledges the love of Christ, there is no reason they should remain just as they were before. With that being true, if we express that same love that Christ showed us, even for just one day, should it not lead to change and a renewal of the heart?

My dear friend, whether you are excited, sad, or neutral about Valentine’s Day, the love God has for you remains consistent. The comfort and wholeness that He gives you does not change based on your circumstances.

The greatest expression of love is revealed in the verse above. So when you wake up today and think about the heart posture you will have as you pass everyone celebrating this beautiful thing called love, think about the impact you could have if you let yourself be powered by the same love God revealed on the cross.

The result of God’s love brought life. I pray you not only feel that today but work your hardest to share it with others. You never know how much it could mean to the strangers you encounter today.