Godly living

December Musings: On What Works

bible, christian, spiritual formation

“Every one of us needs to find our own unique way of reaching the universe of increased awareness. I have come to be quite certain that no one way is any better than another. Whatever leads each of us to our destination of relationship with the Divine Lover, with the central core of meaning in the universe, is the best one for us.” – Reaching by Morton Kelsey

For months, I have been collecting portions of practices from pastors, teachers, and writers on what is considered to be the right way to pray. To go to God in full surrender with a heart that seeks true communion. To come honestly, but never disregarding His authority and the reverence we ought to maintain for Him.

I have personally been seeking this out since I came to Christ, but much more practically recently for the sake of developing some sort of guidance for those just entering the faith.

What I thought was going to be a quick list of ten or so practical tips became an exhaustive journey. What I have found is that prayer is so very simple in terms of doing, yet so complex internally.

It goes far beyond spoken words. It is a practice that requires the attention of the mind, heart, and soul. A practice that prioritizes posture over knowledge. It is not about the fancy words but honesty and humility tied in with confidence in whom you are speaking to.

Perhaps in our pursuit of what is practically correct, we have lost the very point of seeking and have drowned out the sensation of our deep need for our Savior.

These thoughts have been running as I have been trying to form my new year resolutions. Some may scoff at these shallow promises so many make to themselves, but I find them rather important.

The end of things is something God works through. The end of something gives us the opportunity to reflect on why it is ending and why it lasted as long as it did. So as a year comes to an end, I find it to be the perfect time to reflect on the things God has chosen to teach us in the time frame He designed.

Good or bad, from our perspective, is still purposeful. Not to say we will understand or come to know that purpose right now, but to know that is to value each experience. It is to not disregard any moment as one God can’t be glorified in.

This is why I reflect and this is why I make new year resolutions.

That being said, prayer has been on my mind because for nearly the last year, I have written my prayers down each night. It is something I have not done before, or at least consistently. And now that close to a year has passed, I recognize the growth and benefit from it, but I see its limitations as well.

This then led me to seek out more. More practices I could add to my routine to form the perfect or best “quiet time with God”.

In my hunt for new disciplines, I struggled a lot. I came across so many that I either did not understand or could not do without feeling unlike myself.

Then I stumbled across this book. The quote is something similar to what I have heard in Richard Foster’s book, Celebration of Discipline. He warned prior to beginning the description of each spiritual discipline that if we are not careful, we risk becoming fools following routines rather than true seekers of the Lord.

That thought paired with the ideas of Morton Kelsey made me think of what it means to be a seeker of God. One who desires Him. Not just knowledge of or gifts from Him, but simply Him.

As we near the beginning of yet another cycle around the sun, perhaps it is not specific practices or routines we ought to be focused on. Rather, maybe it is about the perspective we have and the heart posture we uphold. One that seeks out God, no matter what that looks like.

Allow me to give you an example. I began writing my prayers in February of 2024. It began well, but a month or so in, I fell into the temptation of pride. Pride in my discipline.

I hadn’t noticed that until I missed a few days and recognized the anger and disappointment I had in myself. The loss of opportunity to communicate with God was not my reason for anger. It was my own failure.

That’s when I changed my approach. I began praying out loud first and once I was nearly done, I would write my prayers down. This was due to my struggle of being too tired or rushed. Some days I managed to verbally pray, but fell asleep before I could write anything down.

If anyone were to look at the dates of my prayer journal, they’d assume I missed a day, but I had not. I simply did what worked in that point in time. Not what was routinely scheduled.

This softened my heart to remember the point of it all. The point being to consistently be in communication with God, not to go through as many journals as I could in a year. It was to draw near to Him and slow down, forcing every one of my senses to focus on my time with Him; my hands wrote words to Him, my eyes envisioned each new word, my smell focused on the paper and ink I am using to communicate with Him, and my hearing dedicated to being sensitive to His quiet voice while I wrote in silence.

This one practice changed over the last year. Not in physical form, but internally. I still write in the same format, with the same type of black pen, in the same cursive, and in the same brand of notebooks as I started with in February. But my purpose for it and value in it has changed as I have stopped worrying about what is the “right” way and started considering what was the way that works.

Works: Not in tangible success, for I honestly don’t even know what that would look like, but in terms of spiritual awareness of who I am speaking to, His character, His heart for me, what His voice is like, and the need I have for Him in my soul.

My dear friend, there are a million different ways people will tell you your prayer life should look like. I have told you a small part of what mine looks like. But I want to remind you the love God has given me for words. The deep value I hold for capturing wild emotions and thoughts into orderly letters. This works for me because of the way God designed me. It may not be beneficial to you at all. And if that is the case, then now, at the end of this year and the beginning of the next, I encourage you to analyze what God has taught you and how you can discipline yourself in a way that grows you close to Him. Not doing a discipline because it is easy or simple or even popular by others. No, rather, doing it because it brings you into deeper communion with the Father. Practice what transforms your whole being into one that is more sensitive to the Spirit and more aware of your need for our savior.

Thoughts to Consider:

What brought growth in your spiritual life in the last year?

What stunted you from drawing closer to God in 2024?

How will you teach your mind to walk into 2025 with a new year perspective/heart posture?

Consider the way God has made you unique and imagine the deeper bond you could have with Him if you allowed Him to speak through the passions and personality He created you with?

“Every one of us needs to find our own unique way of reaching the universe of increased awareness. I have come to be quite certain that no one way is any better than another. Whatever leads each of us to our destination of relationship with the Divine Lover, with the central core of meaning in the universe, is the best one for us.” – Reaching by Morton Kelsey

November Musings – Reflections on Hebrews

bible, Christian lifestyle, spiritual formation

“These were all commended for their faith, yet none of them received what had been promised, since God had planned something better for us so that only together with us would they be made perfect.” – Hebrews 11:39-40

In a world that demands immediate satisfaction, it can be difficult to be on the working end. Surely there are things we request from God, yet understand are shots in the dark, never promised to us in scripture but not irrational to desire. But then there is a kind of waiting to witness the fruit of your long-term tilling and watering after seeing a promise given. That my friend, requires a different kind of patience. One that isn’t based on results, rather, endured through by faith.

The people of the old testament show us the real beauty of faith. As I was reading Hebrews 11, I could not help but be overwhelmed with awe as I read how our God worked through person after person to show His goodness and the value of this thing we call “faith”.

Starting with Abel and moving all the way to the prophets, we see Paul describe the way these believers did more than just good motions. We see their heart for God and hope for His promise drive their every move. This faith gave them a perspective unlike any other group of people on earth. It was more than just wishful thinking. It was the “confidence in what [they] hoped for and assurance about what [they did] not see.” (Hebrews 11:1).

Many of these great followers of God were given promises they altered their whole lives around. Abraham, for example, left the land he knew for one he did not all because of a promise spoken over him. Noah, looked like a fool for a while and dedicated so much time and effort to build an ark all because of a promise he received. And Moses went to the highest in command in Egypt and persistently demanded freedom for his people all because of a promise God gave him.

God promised these broken people incredible things. Not because they themselves were great, but because they were willing. They had open hearts and availability for whatever direction God sought to turn them in.

Not by power, reputation, or perfection did these people follow God. No, strictly, by faith.

Faith that He who had made the promise was more than capable and willing to keep it. (Heb. 11:11).

Now let’s be honest. A part of me looks at that scripture and wants to argue their faith was easier to obtain because they lived in a time where God audibly spoke to people. But then, as I recall the cross, I realize the gift we have now. We have the fruit of a promise they could only hope of their entire lives.

I suppose we each have our own benefits in time. Nonetheless, the significance and meaning of faith does not decrease in either era.

Just past a week, I arrived home from Germany after spending nine or so days witnessing God do incredible things. In and through people, I saw hearts move in ways they didn’t know they could. I saw hope grow. I saw joy and desire for God increase. And in myself, I saw awe overwhelm me in deeper ways than ever as I thought of God and who He is.

I often struggle on trips focused around strictly sharing the Gospel. Not because I fear it, or don’t want to. But because I do not understand what progress or success looks like. And without a goal, the feeling of incompetence and inadequacy creeps its way into my mind rather quickly. Yet, on this last trip, I left with one expectation: to expect the unexpected.

This was a statement I heard long ago and it has eased my anxious thoughts previously, so I had hoped it would do the same on this trip. Surprisingly though, the worst of my days was near the beginning. Normally my battery was not that short, but it did not seem to be getting any better as the days went on.

A part of me was disappointed in myself as I thought of all the opportunities to share God’s love and how they would be stolen by my anxious thoughts…then I stumbled across Hebrews 11.

I encourage you to read the whole chapter, as the “by faith..” statements stir up an awe of God like no other, but for time sake, I wish to highlight the last portion.

Verses 39-40 state, “These were all commended for their faith, yet none of them received what they had been promised., since God had planned something better for us so that only together with us would they be made perfect.”

Track with me for just a moment.

Each and every one of those old testament saints were spoken a promise to. And yet they, like us, only got to get a glimpse.

It is considered the reality of the “now, and not yet”.

In this broken world, we will see God’s glory, but only a portion. The fullness of who He is will only be revealed to us, and His redemption for us will only be made perfect (meaning complete; whole) over us, when we are finally home – in the presence of our God.

Hope is not out of reach though. This “now” just looks different for us than it did for the Hebrews. All the promises they were given were leading up to Jesus. When He came, He brought a new covenant. One that did not rely on rituals or animal sacrifices, but on faith that Jesus was indeed the Christ and all sufficient for us.

The “now” we live in is that which gives us the opportunity to have a personal relationship with the Lord and the “not yet” our hearts so desperately seek is the perfect eternity that will come on God’s timing.

This sounds easy to accept when you think about yourself. But when we look to the task of testifying to others but rejection or dismissal is the only result, our hearts can get understandably heavy.

When you have a cure for something others are dying from, any human with a heart would long to share it. But the burden of the “now” is that we still live in a broken world. We still live with people who are blinded to God’s goodness because of their pain, pride, or passions. We still live in a world where sometimes, we will only get the opportunity to move rocks for someone else to eventually plant a seed in the soil beneath.

But…the beauty of the “now” is that we still live in a world where God is being accepted into hearts daily. In a world where the Holy spirit is active. In a world where spiritual chains are capable of being broken. And my dear friend, in a world where promises are on their way towards fulfillment.

I want you to reflect on the last part of verse 40. It says, “so that only together with us would they be made perfect.”

“Only together”.

Only with the “pioneer and perfecter of faith” (Hebrews 12:2) and as one body (Big C Church), can our work reveal the glory of who God is and show the value of our faith.

For hope has come. It is attainable. And by the grace of God, we can see many of His promises fulfilled with our every breath.

Once just a word (Messiah) promised to broken people, is now known as Jesus our savior. How true then is the promise that Savior spoke to us going to bring redemption, completion, and fullness to all of humanity when we reach eternity?

My dear friend, when I look at this world, my heart feels a lot. It feels burdened but also hopeful. And the nature we have that seeks immediate satisfaction does not help us grow a patience towards the timing of God. We often want good results and we often want them now. But who are we to demand fruit from seeds just barely sown? And who are we to expect results of a salvation we did not make happen? It is hard to accept, for what we want is a good desire. But may we never get confused about who does the saving in our hearts and our role as one body, who is made complete, only together.

We cannot do it all. And we cannot let our hope be found in that, for we were made to please God. To have faith in who He is and the plan He is unfolding. To hold a confidence in that hope and an assurance of what we cannot see. May we not grow weary in our pursuit of Jesus. Of holding onto a hope that has come and is coming again in the “not yet”. May we learn to let our hearts focus daily on the tasks God has set before us (Acts 20:24) and guard it from the hunger for our own idea of “good” results.

His timing is perfect. His plan is good. He is sufficient for you. And He has you in the place you are in now that you may continue living out the promise of redemption He gave so many generations ago.

You are the fruit of seeds your ancestors planted. You are a result of the family Abraham was promised. And you are the worker, together with every other believer, that is called to continue sowing…whether or not your human eyes will ever see the spring season.

Thoughts to Consider:

How are you involving yourself in “the body” (the church)?

Are you willing and available? What are some strongholds you have?

What is your mindset when sharing the Gospel? Do you struggle with a desire for a certain result?

Consider the way you respond to this broken world and the people living in it and imagine the difference the daily act of living out faith could change how you react.

“These were all commended for their faith, yet none of them received what had been promised, since God had planned something better for us so that only together with us would they be made perfect.” – Hebrews 11:39-40

On Letting Go – Minimalism and Deepening Faith

bible, Christian lifestyle, spiritual formation

“Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters.” – Colossians 3:23

I threw a lot away yesterday. Over the last two years, I have been trying to become a minimalist for mostly the sake of my faith.

If you know me, you know I love shopping and I love aesthetically pleasing things. So this was kind of hard to reduce all I had. But over time, I honestly thought of myself to be succeeding pretty well in this area of my life, and I even felt like I had become less materialistic because of this discipline.

But a couple of days ago, I was thinking about my future and accidentally went down a spiral of thoughts, regrets, and missing my past. I thought about how much more responsibilities I kept up with. I thought about the way I cared for my body better with how often I worked out. I thought about the way I maintained a sabbath. And I thought about the work I put into pursuing my dreams no matter what judgement I received from it.

It was hard, but I did it. And for years, I have taken pride in that season of my life. And since then, every failed attempt to maintain good stewardship of my time and work has been rationalized because of how “good I was in the past“. But what I noticed this week was the way the rationalizing only eased my mind for a moment.

I said it was okay to not be as disciplined as I used to be, but within the same hour, I realized the shame and hopelessness that mindset would lead me to.

I thought, “It was good while it was, but it is what it is now.”

That was, until the light bulb lit up two nights ago.

I looked in my car, and on the rear view mirror I saw the tassel from my high school graduation next to the school parking pass from my senior year (2020-’21). And hanging next to those was an air freshener from the church I attended in college, right beside my college graduation tassel.

It was a hanging mobile of my beloved memories. Now, that may sound cute, but all it stirred up inside of me was aching pain.

An aching for the freedom I had in high school, the endless possibilities of majors I could’ve studied in college, and the joy in serving my sweet group of youth students at my old church (even they are now on their way to college).

This was all wrapped around my rear view mirror with the air freshener that recited Colossians 3:23. And that’s when I noticed the point.

God has blessed me with so many new things. Some more exciting than others. But nonetheless, new. I graduated high school over 3 years ago and college 6 months ago. But after each milestone, I placed them in front of me again by hanging their mementos on my car mirror. A place I spend far too many hours in a week.

So two nights ago, I went on Amazon. I scrolled for a while and ended up buying a hanging yarn plant.

When it arrived (praise Jesus for Amazon prime) yesterday, I took off everything on my rear view mirror and replaced it with the yarn plant. The tassels, I kept, but the other things, I tossed.

And when I got in my car this morning to go to work, for the first time in a very long time, I actually thought about the verse that used to be hanging on my air freshener.

“Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters.”

I had practiced minimalism for so long. But I completely overlooked the deeper way it could be implemented into my life. For three years, I had been collecting good things that reminded me of God’s blessings, but turned it into something that stirred up anything but joy.

I wanted the past. And what that mentality does, is stiff arm God from allowing Him to show you what He has planned next.

The air freshener was given to me after a sermon about stewarding your work well, especially on the days you don’t want to. It had in big, bold letters on the back, “MONDAYS 🙂 You were made for this”. Because let’s be real, Mondays are dreadful and the joy from Sunday is tempted to be forgotten the moment your “get up for work” alarm goes off before the sun even rises.

It took me getting rid of the memento to appreciate it and actually consider how I can move on with my future while appreciating what I learned in my past.

As I write this, I find it even more interesting that those items were wrapped around my rear view mirror. A tool to help me see what is behind me so that if I need to switch lanes while moving forward, I can with peace in knowing I am clear of any obstacles. But that is just it, any time I look at what’s behind should be for the purpose of moving me more forward. Even if I have to back up a little, it is so that I can get around something and press on my journey even farther.

Those mementos are great to appreciate the past. But the purpose of minimalism in terms of growing your faith, is to get rid of the unnecessary things and keep my attention on what is needed and what brings me closer to God. Though I was maturing from my materialism problem, I had never noticed the way I held onto the past so tightly.

A simple task like relocating or getting rid of things from my past has allowed me to have a greater visual of the future and more freedom for God to use me for whatever it is He pleases.

May we not forget the purpose we have because we are so attached to the things we have known. For God’s plans and desires are beyond our imagination. We only limit ourselves to the life God made us for when we refuse to walk into the “Mondays”.

Not every season of life will be exciting. Some will feel tiresome, pointless, or painful, but God has a purpose for every minute you breathe, and you have a responsibility as one who claims to be His follower. You have the duty of good stewardship. Of giving your best, for what you have in front of you was given by the Lord, even if you cannot see how.

My dear friend, taking a step on the water is going to come with fear when you’ve only ever walked on land (credit to Chris Renzema for his sick song lyrics that say something similar). But how much longer will you live obstructing your own view of the future and what’s ahead because you can’t look past the past? God’s hand is reaching out to walk with you…will you take it even if you cannot see the next step?

Thoughts to Consider:

What are some material, or immaterial things from your past that you are enabling to block your view of the future? Bring them to the Lord in prayer.

Have you truly allowed God to use you in ANY way He desires, even if it is new or uncomfortable?

How can you work on developing the mentality and lifestyle described in Colossians 3:23?

Consider the growth you could experience and the deeper connection you could have with God if you took His hand in walking into the “Mondays” of your life, no matter what they entail.

Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters.” – Colossians 3:23

October Musings: The Quiet Selfless Life

bible, Christian lifestyle, spiritual formation

“and to make it your ambition to lead a quiet life: You should mind your own business and work with your hands, just as we told you…” – 1 Thessalonians 4:11

No one has to twist my arm for me to spend time by myself. For some reason, I find some of the most fun times are when I am alone. This is not to degrade the times that I am with others – I love those moments too, but being alone is not just a liking of mine, it is often what I find myself longing for, and desperately needing after a given number of hours in the day.

A couple years ago, I learned about solitude. The kind that you dedicate to God. This honestly blew my mind because I used to feel as though there was something wrong with me for desiring alone time as much as I did. Learning about this helped me understand that there was nothing wrong with liking that time, but there was a way to glorify God during it…and a way to not. And unfortunately, I recognized how often I had spent doing the latter.

Over time, I discipline myself to being intentional about solitude with God, but it has been hard. Considering what I want to do for a living, (being a faith-based author) I struggle a lot because I prefer to stay hidden while people read my heart’s expressions through words in black and white. However, in this day and age, I am forced to utilize things like social media for the sake of actually having my thoughts cross paths with the rest of the world. As much as I have tried to balance the means to my goals and still glorify God in my quiet time, I find myself more so spending the minutes or hours decompressing alone with my mind focused on how I will recharge myself.

The thought of God and fades as my capacity reaches its maximum and that hope of any “God time” turns into “me time”. I have grown a selfish perspective of something God designed for good.

I spend hours searching for ways to become what I feel called to be, yet barely addressing the One who called me. More time alone was what I thought I needed, but I couldn’t have been more wrong.

The quiet life is not about being alone. It is not about doing all you do in silence. Nor is it truly about you at all…

Looking at 1 Thessalonians 4, we find our purpose. “…we instructed you how to live in order to please God…Now we ask you and urge you in the Lord Jesus to do this more and more.” (portions of verse 1).

This verse is incredible because it reveals the absence of limits on our growth. You can read the Bible 15 times over, pray every day, and serve weekly, but there will always be more ways to please God. Now let me be clear, this pursuit is not to result in salvation, but to be a result of it. Looking at verse 3, we find out what this process is called; “sanctification”.

In layman’s terms, this means to become more like God. It is the journey all begin once they have committed to a life of dying to themselves and living for Jesus.

This is the general word people use in reference to the overall transformation of their lives for Christ, but I want to focus in on how we ought to pursue a quiet life through this process.

You may be extremely outgoing and thinking this word isn’t for you too but your personality does not change the fact that we ALL are called to live in a way that pleases the Lord, and one thing that Jesus showed us by example throughout the Gospels was that solitude matters and plays a role in shaping the rest of your life.

So, how then does one live a quiet life – without either being selfish and turning it all into “me time” or giving up their extroverted ways?

Simply put, by remembering the purpose. Your purpose.

I’ll say it again, the quiet life is not exactly about spending a certain number of hours alone. It is about what verse 11 highlights; “You should mind your own business and work with your hands…”

Living honest, honorable, and Christ-centered lives each and every day.

Maybe for the extrovert, this looks like spending time in prayer and meditation before you leave your home to protect your heart from the desire of attention or hope in finding value through others. And perhaps for the introvert, this looks like asking God to protect your heart from the selfish desires of comfort over sharing His love with others or from an egocentric way of determining what is worth your time away from home.

I say those from experience in feelings, not from criticism.

Ultimately, the quiet life is more about pursuing God in humility. It is not about volume, as God uniquely and purposely made us all different. Rather, it is to live your days proclaiming one name and loving those whom He saw worth dying for, “that none may perish.” (John 3:16)

My dear friend. I am a lover of quiet, but my flesh turns it into something that glorifies myself. I pray you recognize the value of your hidden place and time with God. For until you do, your heart will always seek to benefit itself first and foremost.

We live for the pleasure of God, not ourselves. That is what quiet looks like.

And we choose to love and stretch ourselves for the sake of those around us, not for an ego boost, more social media likes, or because it’s comfortable, but that they might see Him in us.

Thoughts to Consider:

Do you find yourself using your “God time” for your own boost in pride or most of your alone time for your fleshly indulgences?

Where can you schedule extra time out of your day to focus on your purpose and why God has placed you in the current position you are in?

What distractions or habits do you need to address in order to stay consistent in your quiet time?

Consider how much these intentional moments alone with God could reset not just your approach to your day, but to your whole life as well.

“and to make it your ambition to lead a quiet life: You should mind your own business and work with your hands, just as we told you…” – 1 Thessalonians 4:11

September Musings: Heart-Centered Spiritual Disciplines

bible, Christian lifestyle, spiritual formation

The other night, I stumbled across this individual explaining their regret in waiting for marriage. It wasn’t that they did, rather, it was that they didn’t apply the waiting to anything beyond the physical obedience to God.

Over the last couple years, I have experienced times of great discipline and times of total inconsistency. Unfortunately, I just recently seem to have reached the end of this season of good discipline.

Perhaps traveling so much had a role to play, but that does not change the fact that each and every day comes to a point where I have a certain amount of time to do whatever I please. And embarrassingly, I admit, I have not always offered it to God first. Instead, as my heart could feel the conviction most nights, I would sit and pray out loud, frustrated that I couldn’t push myself to write it down or open up my devotional I spent an unruly amount of money on just a few weeks ago. And on the days that I could match my pen to my prayer journal paper, I would begin with an apology for not physically writing my prayers down for days on end.

This continued for a while. The more days I missed between the entries, the more I would beat myself up and tell myself how such a lack of inconsistency ought to reveal my inability to stay dedicated and close to God. But thank heavens I see now, that is not the right mindset.

It is not about checking off the list. I am sure you have heard that before. But now more than previously, I am noticing that it is about checking your heart and not letting the means to an end become an idol.

I am a lover of routines. If you give me a to-do list or a schedule, I will gladly follow it in order. Perhaps my obsession with an aesthetically pleasing life has an influence on my itching desire to keep everything in line. Now, I am not saying it is bad to be that way, but I am recognizing it may lead to some problems.

In February of this year, I made the decision to start writing down my prayers. I did this for multiple reasons, but one of them was for accountability. I know the kind of discipline I hold myself to when I give my word to others, so I figured if I put my prayers on paper to God, perhaps I would hold it to be as valuable as if I were to have promised a friend that I would contact them every morning. If you know me, you know my word means a lot.

And so for a while, this worked. Again, I had other reasons behind it, which is also what helped me stay dedicated to it, but nonetheless, months had passed and I just reached the start of my third journal book.

Yet after just one entry in the new notebook, two days had passed before the second, then five more before the third, until it started becoming a every-other day journal. Honestly, this aggravated me so much. But, as you read in the beginning of this blog, I struggled to bring my pen to paper. Speaking my prayers felt just as valuable…until I would catch a glimpse of the date of the most recent entry and realize I had not kept my word.

Before I could tear myself completely apart, the Lord was gracious and gave me that great word from the random video on Instagram.

No, my situation is not the same as the couple posting about their story of waiting in purity, but it was similar in the fact that my waiting, my discipline, and my focus, had been more on the check list than the spiritual reason behind the means to my goal.

I wanted to get closer to God. I wanted to be more vulnerable, more open to His Spirit’s guidance. I wanted to learn how to surrender every thing every day to God, despite the inconvenience of waking up an hour early to do so. But my mind got so caught up in the means to the end rather than the end itself. Not saying there is a limit to our growth, but there are such things as spiritual milestones that I believe are worth celebrating when reached. In fact, side note: if your goal is to simply “grow closer to God”, I would argue that you ought to clarify what that looks like in multiple ways. Otherwise, you are setting yourself up to a life of idolizing the journey over the One it’s supposed to lead you to.

I digress. The point I am getting at is that regardless of what discipline you may be holding yourself to, and I am speaking to myself here as well, the check list should go beyond the physical act of obedience. It should be checking the heart too.

There was a time that I forced myself to learn a verse in full. (You are probably thinking…”Aliyah, you don’t have verses memorized?”…No. Not really. Good memory was not one of my gifts I received from the Lord. I am a big paraphraser. One of my most common statements is, “Somewhere in the Bible it says something like…“)

So I decided to challenge myself to learn Psalm 139:23-24.

I left a Bible open on my dresser with that verse underlined for nearly two months. I read it close to daily and would begin my prayers by repeating it twice. After a while of not being able to remember it, I got frustrated and wanted to stop. But I felt guilty every time I saw my Bible open. So I continued.

Surely enough, after weeks on end, I was able to recite it by memory. This was huge. But what was more fascinating, was the way God spoke to me through that verse in a different way time after time. As I would leave a pause between each line, I learned that it wasn’t about repeating it the fastest I could, rather, it was about meditating on it and allowing God to actually use His Word to speak to me.

Yes, it took me months to get to that point with that one set of verses, but I do not believe it made me “fall behind”. For who am I chasing but Jesus? And for those who feel He is so far out at the finish line, I pray you can see His love could not bare to wait, for He already met you in your worst place. He went to the grave for you and is calling you to live in the victory He claimed over it by His resurrection.

There is an endless list of disciplines and to-do’s that one can pursue in hopes to draw closer to God. They in themselves are not bad, in fact, every Christ follower ought to be holding themselves accountable to some capacity of spiritual discipline. But that is not all there is. The beauty of the end is not when we check off the last chapters of our “reading the Bible in a year” plan or when we complete our 90 day devotional. Nor is it when we have marked every notebook known to man with our prayers.

My dear friend, the beauty of it all is the heart connection we grow with God over the entirety of our lives. So as you continue your journey of letting the Spirit transform you and renew your thoughts and desires, do not forget to discipline and prepare your heart in the waiting as well.

For one can work out their body all they want, but without proper nourishment on the inside, their growth will be stunted and their body will be just a shell of surface level strength. In that same way, as disciplined as you hold yourself to be, without giving attention to inward health and growth, your intimacy with God will be as shallow as a worker who simply does their job and goes home without building any relational depth with the one they work for. How can you properly do the Lord’s work without knowing His heart and hearing what He desires for you?

Thoughts to consider:

Do you often move on with your spiritual disciplines for the sake of consistency, even if it means giving up moments of quiet and stillness for God to speak?

How do you mentally refocus your attention on the main purpose of your journey towards Jesus when you begin feeling desensitized to the disciplines?

What can you implement into your routine to prioritize waiting and growth beyond the physical sense?

Consider how seeing the Word of God as active and illuminating every single day as He gives us new mercies and revelations could impact your journey with Jesus.

“Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me and lead me in the way everlasting.” – Psalm 139:23-24