encouragement

August Musings – God’s Timeless Truth

bible, christian, encouragement

This is a special time of the year. August is the month I launched this blog three years ago. August 26th, 2021 to be exact.

I had been thinking of what to write for a while now. But it seems as though writers block has had a hold on me for weeks. There are currently 3 drafts that are half-written with the same title, “August Musings”, on my computer at the moment. I know, I suppose they hadn’t truly been my “musings” this month if I can’t finish a single one of them. Nonetheless, there is one common topic that I found myself mentioning…

Reminiscing.

To reminisce is to “indulge in enjoyable recollection of past events”. What I felt was not regret, but I have definitely been spending a lot of present time wishing I could relive the past. The reason being, to be completely honest, is because I feel like I was a better writer when I began this blog than the one I am now.

As I reread old posts and remember the ease I had in typing up a 1500 word piece that included Bible breakdowns, humor, and contemplative thoughts, I have been dreading posting anything lately. Especially considering the milestone of three years is a day away. I couldn’t help but feel like nothing was good enough anymore.

I sat with this burden for weeks. But how funny is God to place a word of peace on my heart the night before this anniversary.

In January, I wrote a post called “January Musings“. It was about a word of hope that I will never forget. It was truly one of the most freeing moments in my life and I am so thankful for the transformation it has brought. But as I reread it a few nights ago, I thought about the struggle I have been facing and the way I kept wishing I could go back in time and write like the old days. To be frank, I thought my heart would be justified in it’s sorrow because I thought that blog would make me recognize how far I have come in my writing skills…in a bad a way. But as I look back, thank the Lord that is not what happened.

Was I reassured of my talent? Not really. But I was enlightened!

What I saw in that blog was not skill, but a word of hope from God that had no expiration. It was a word that brought life back into my heart in the beginning of this year and was still capable of doing the same now. In this moment. This place. This agonizing stage of my writing career.

“From death to life” was the phrase I received. As someone who finds much comfort in melancholic environments and moods, this was tough to hear. Because whether or not I wanted to change, I knew that life – that which brings glory to God and love to those around me – was only possible if I stopped making my bed in the grave. It meant I needed to live out the word of a “new thing” I had felt God press on my heart.

When I say “new thing”, I do not mean a shiny, successful, easy new season I just chose waltz into. I meant a new perspective. A new outlook on what was worth dedicating my life to. No longer could I justify the days I ignored the world for my own “peace” of mind or the weeks I chose to bury myself in the habits that only cultivated despair.

Now I am not going to lie, it has been tough. Truly one of the hardest things is denying every urge in your body and mind from resorting back to the place you thought brought comfort, because more than the comfort, it brought death. Literally? Surely it could have been a possibility in the long run, but I am more so speaking about spiritual death. I knew the truth though, and when I didn’t feel like what I knew was enough, I forced myself to search deeper. And praise God, for every time I looked, I found His heart to be even greater than I could originally fathom.

But amidst the spiritual growth I had since January, was the discouragement I faced in my writing. I took a hiatus from social media at the end of 2023 and did not return until just about two months ago. I thought it would be good for this blog and my other writing projects. And it was, to an extent. But I could not help but feel like I should have done more in my time away. Since my return to social media, I have felt off. I felt like everyone expected greater things and more resources and writings offered. But instead, this blog became bi-weekly rather than the weekly one it had been a year ago. That means half as much content as before.

But as I read the post from January, I realized a beautiful thing about God.

I realized His timing is perfect.

I know I have heard that before, and honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised if I wrote about it before. But I want to point out that I am not just talking about the things He brings into action. The doors He opens. The people He introduces us to. Or the miracles He does before us.

What I noticed about His timing was that He knows exactly what we need to endure and for how long we ought to live in that place before we hear a new word. He knows why the words we hear come at the “last moment” and the freedom we experience happens after a specific amount of days, weeks, or even years. His timing in our blessings is surely perfect, but so are the moments He chooses to speak a simple word to us.

This blog originally began with the intention to share “whatever God shared with me this week”. You’d think I would run out of topics, well so did I. But miraculously, God brought specific words to me at specific times. Sometimes it was at the start of the week, where I had time to chew on it for 6 days before blogging. While other times, I recall hectically scrambling to type up a post in the short hour and a half break I had between class and work because that was the moment I heard God give me a new thing.

So as I reminisce, admiring my old work, and deep down wishing I hadn’t lost that talent – I find a sense of peace. Not in the promise that I will ever write like that again, but that perhaps, the words, though received farther apart than they had been three years ago, are still life-giving. Though they seem harder to organize, they are undoubtedly glorifying the Lord. And after all, what more was this blog to be than a vessel of whatever word God desired to share in whatever way He saw best?

My dear friend, life will have it’s moments of doubt. There will be times when everything you thought was supposed to be happening, just isn’t. But that does not mean God’s faithfulness, hope, and purpose He revealed in scripture and in your past is expired. It just means that the words you have received so far are sufficient for the time you are in now. Continue hoping. And when it seems like it is not enough, continue seeking. For God promises that all who seek Him with their whole heart, will indeed find Him. If there is a chance to move your bed from the depths of the grave to the peace of His presence, why would you continue looking for any form of living among the dead?

“Indeed, we felt we had received the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead. He has delivered us from such a deadly peril, and He will deliver us again. On Him we have set our hope that He will continue to deliver us.” – 2 Corinthians 1:9-10

For God & For Them

Christian lifestyle, encouragement, spiritual formation

“Sometimes the best we can do is make the choice to act as if this life is a gift. That honors God. And if we make a practice of it, a practice of defying our anxiety and depression by getting out of bed and just giving a few moments of silent prayer of thanks for this life that maybe we still loathe – that pleases God. It gives hope to people you don’t even know. In time you’ll start to feel it, too, and if you don’t at least you did what was right.” – Alan Noble

The hard truth about seeking real healing is that sometimes, it requires breaking the bone again so that it can recover straight this time.

Last week I finished reading a book on managing your feelings. It paid respects to the reality of being a human without disregarding the responsibilities of a follower of Jesus. It was very intriguing, but if I am honest, there were parts of it that reminded me of the thoughts I used to have during times of great despair. I thought that would just reinforce the hopeful mindset I have been disciplining myself to recently, but I found it more common that my response was an aching for that old, comfortable place – a place where nothing could get worse, for I was already at the bottom of the pit.

As I was reading it, I battled with the desire to resort to my old ways whenever things went wrong; numbing, expecting disappointment, doing the bare minimum to accomplish daily tasks, and pushing away my time with God. It hadn’t hit me until many days passed when I realized others could notice a change. And as much as I wish I could say that challenged me to get out of the slump, it didn’t. It actually just made me more hopeless as I began to consider the healing that has been happening over the last couple of months was perhaps just a season of wishful thinking.

Even as I write this, every bone in my body and thought in my head has been trying to pull me back into the comfort of lying in bed and hiding from the weight of relaying God’s word to you on this blog.

Though the Holy Spirit is a sweet being…for all but One voice in me argues for resting in despair.

Recently I have been reading 1 Corinthians. Great insight can be found throughout every chapter, but one that has planted itself in my mind was the message of God’s desire for unity. You constantly see Paul express the importance of loving others, respecting others struggles with temptation, and the need for building peace among one another.

Now, I am no where near the most social person in the world, but I realize this isn’t about going out and telling every person you pass that, “JESUS LOVES YOU”. Surely that is a way to share God’s love, but let’s be real, I will never be that outgoing of an individual. Nor is that what scripture is telling us we must do. No, rather, what we see is Paul describe that every action, from our words, to our thoughts, to the way we dress and eat have the ability to glorify God and love on others. The overall message isn’t to be the loudest voice shouting “Jesus saves”, but the most disciplined and loving. And through our every action that is honorable to God, we make room for the heart of Christ to be reflected and open a door for the Holy Spirit to move in those around us.

I read a book called “On Getting Out of Bed” a while back. It is the one quoted at the top of this blog. The title may sound silly if you never endured a time of depression, but it was truly one of main sources of inspiration I found that led me to believe that the way things were, were not how they had to be.

It honestly threw me for a loop, because I started reading it expecting some great advice I could do for myself that would be inspiring enough to power me through the rest of my days, but such was not the complete case. Surely, there were great points on things pertaining ourselves, but it began with a reference from a book called “The Road”, a story of selfless love between a father and son. Through some incredible hardships, the father tells the son that the bravest thing he’s done was to get up this morning. Getting up – despite the risk of more trials, shame, fear, pain – even though he didn’t want to for himself…he did it for his son.

Using that story as a foundation for the perspective we should pursue, the book (“On Getting Out of Bed“) consistently pointed back to two main reasons we ought to not make our bed in the “comfortable” place of despair. First, was that the life we live was one God purposely created for His glory. Meaning, regardless of our feelings, for God, we have a duty of living honorably and in gratitude. And secondly, as a being that belongs to God, we have a duty of loving His creation; the people around us.

My dear friend, surely time will create a scar over our wounds and restore a connection between our broken bones. But that does not always mean it is healed in the way it should be. And when that happens, the only way to start really restoring what was broken is to dig back in the wound and clean out everything that was simply a mask for the pain. I was once told that realizing you are further back than you thought you were can be one of the most freeing things. I argued with that for a long time, but I believe now there is so much truth in that statement.

How much longer will you walk with a lame heart believing it is fine just because it’s not missing? It is surely frustrating and painful to face the reality of one’s brokenness, but it is the only place real growth can start from. You may argue that “it is okay”. You may believe your greatest place of safety is despair. But thank heavens, our life isn’t all about us. For those like myself would be stuck in a pit forever. It is not about what is comfortable, but what is right, honorable, and just. That kind of life, my friend, only can be lived when you seek the right thing, no matter the pain it may entail, because it is our duty; for honoring God and for loving them.

Thoughts to consider:

Is there any area of your life that you have allowed healing to happen through time and false remedies instead of through God?

Do you often consider the influence every one of your actions can have on those around you?

Would someone who never spoke to you directly be able to see the love of Christ through you – even during your greatest trials?

Consider the purpose God has for you in every season, and how much you could honor Him and love His people if you prioritized them over your feelings.

“Sometimes the best we can do is make the choice to act as if this life is a gift. That honors God. And if we make a practice of it, a practice of defying our anxiety and depression by getting out of bed and just giving a few moments of silent prayer of thanks for this life that maybe we still loathe – that pleases God. It gives hope to people you don’t even know. In time you’ll start to feel it, too, and if you don’t at least you did what was right.” – Alan Noble

July Musings: The Danger of Preferences with God

bible, Christian lifestyle, spiritual formation

“What if it doesn’t look like what I thought it would?
What if you come in ways I didn’t know you could?
Offend my mind. Reveal my heart.
I won’t worship preference anymore”
– Preference by Rachel Morley

Preference is such a interesting concept. Based on the things we experience and the unique way each one of our personalities were created, we build a “preference” about numerous things in our lives. We often say “I vote we do ____ , but that’s just what I prefer”. We make it seem like a preference is simply a harmless opinion, but what I have recently noticed, is that it actually has the ability to blind us.

I have lived in four different areas of my city, but have been taking the same road to go everywhere since I determined that was the most convenient main street near the house I lived in at 16. Nowadays, a lot more roads have been built and I live 20 minutes south of that house. Nonetheless, it wasn’t until a couple months ago that I used a road that has been here longer than the one I normally took, and from this side of town, is way more efficient. It has more turns and more side streets than the other, but it is undoubtedly the faster option to get to work, church, the mall, and truly…anywhere besides my old house haha. But until roughly 3 months ago, I never considered taking that route. I would actually re-route my GPS to take the common road I knew even if it meant a longer drive. It was…just what I preferred.

For years, I have been taking a longer path that was literally out of my way, just because it was what I knew. It was comfortable. And no matter where I was on that road, I still had control of where I would end up because there was no chance of me feeling lost. It was what I had control of. And I liked the feeling of that.

Because of my personal preference, I was blinded to the other, more efficient road. And it was not like I was unaware of its existence, because my GPS offered guidance down it time and time again. But I refused. I, like the pharisees who had a preference of what their Messiah would look like, missed out on a blessing for years because I chose to limit my perspective.

Now in the grand scheme of things, this road situation may seem like a silly example, but I did in fact waste time, money (considering the extra gas…especially in this economy), and the opportunity to see the other side of this town I have lived in nearly all my life. Slowly, but surely, what was once a good thing, became a burden because I refused to let my GPS show me a new way of doing things.

I think preferences effect more than what we choose to eat, where we drive, or how we dress. Honestly, I think they can play a large role in our relationship with God. I blogged about the blessing of a limited perspective a few weeks ago, but I feel there is a difference between a circumstance we close our mind in versus one we truly cannot change. It’s our preferences that can keep us on the fence in life because we want it our way and refuse to move until we see a path we like. But how many blessings must one miss and how much time, joy, and freedom does it have to cost them to consider they are not the Sovereign One?

I have heard people talk about the various ways God moves. I have heard about miracle stories, visions, and wisdom provided from God. But what I see is a repetition of people saying “to hear, see, or know about God, just do ____”. That blank typically ranges from reading scripture, seeking counsel, or praying more. Now don’t get me wrong, I fully believe all of those are crucial to the ones who follow Christ. But I have noticed we serve a powerful God who, often times, reaches out to us in unexpected ways while calling us down unexpected paths.

For one to confine God’s ability to communicate to us or move in our lives to a simple list of 5 or so sources, is a foolish thing to do. Though I am guilty of this.

I find it common that the way I “wait” on God after I seek Him out in prayer consists of a list of preferred interactions. And embarrassingly, they are lists of very specific ways of communicating. For example, a lot of the time I find myself praying, “God, I know a lot of faithful and respectable people around me say I should do ____, but can you make it more clear?”. Now I am not saying peace is a terrible thing to seek from God, but sometimes, as much distrust as my heart generally has towards people, God speaks through them and part of acting in faith is recognizing that I have to surrender my desire for a physical sign that tells me exactly what to do, and trust that God is capable of guiding me through His followers, though they too are broken as myself. And through an act of faith like that, it makes it more clear to see the problem is not a lack of clarity from God, but a controlling issue in my own heart – a hidden preference of mine to take God’s role in my life.

My dear friend, a preference in itself is not a sin. But just as pride can turn any good desire into a self-centered one, we must be careful about the way our preferences can mold our minds to only accept guidance we consider good enough. My GPS knew when I moved to my new house, that the better path to follow was one I did not know but would ultimately be a blessing in many ways. Though, I chose to shut it out. And unfortunately, I can’t say I have not done that same thing with God.

New paths are not always desirable at first. No one likes to feel insecure and out of control. But the beautiful thing about being in a relationship with God, is that He never leaves our side. Much like that GPS kept insisting it could walk me through that new road and still end up in a good destination. How long will you reject God’s extended love and guidance because you do not prefer the way He chose to go about it?

Thoughts to consider:

What are the most common places you look for God’s involvement in your life?

Do you spend time considering the other ways or places He may speak to or lead you by?

Are there any preferences you think may be confining God’s power to a box in your life?

Consider the awe you could grow for God by spending time in true silence during prayer, so that He has room to press anything He wants to on your heart.

“What if it doesn’t look like what I thought it would?
What if you come in ways I didn’t know you could?
Offend my mind. Reveal my heart.
I won’t worship preference anymore”
– Preference by Rachel Morley

Calling God’s Truth To Mind

bible, Christian lifestyle, spiritual formation

“Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope.” – Lamentations 3:21

What a struggle it is to recall the good when everything around us is failing. Perhaps that is my negative perspective, but I am sure I am not the only one who is challenged when people say things like, “Just trust in God, it’ll be okay.” or “God is good, He will work it out.” Oh boy, do those statements rattle me. I get the good intention, but I feel they do not lead to the most peaceful results. Because the reality of an anxious and weary heart is a daily battle against lies that we are truly not strong enough to fight off on our own.

This morning I finished reading Lamentations. Now, I certainly had many thoughts as I read through it, but what struck me most was a reference I found to Matthew 28:20. In this verse Jesus says, “Surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” In the notes section of my Bible, this verse was used, alongside Deuteronomy 31:8, to support the hope that the author of Lamentations speaks about. Honestly, this caught me off guard, because the verses that end the book are not the most hopeful.

They state: “Why do you always forget us? Why do you forsake us for so long? Restore us to yourself, Lord, that we may return; unless you have utterly rejected us and are angry with us beyond measure.”

Surely this prayer might sound familiar to the ones we cry in our low moments, I know it does for me at least. Which is exactly why Matthew 28:20 nearly brought me to tears. Now I may not be the greatest at seeing the bright side of things, but that does not change what Christ did in the past. Knowing that I would doubt His love, He still gave His life for me.

Whether I ever see another miracle or not in my life, Jesus still went through death and back to express His love and desire for us. What could be more meaningful than that?

The conviction hit hard as I realized this morning, more often than praises, my prayers reflect a discontent heart. Whether it be anxieties, disappointments, fears, or doubts, I have come to a point where my honesty with God stops right there. At simple honesty. Not vulnerability.

A professor once told me that honesty and vulnerability were in fact not the same thing. One (honesty) gives information on the past or present while keeping a wall between us and any change. Kind of like just stating hidden facts. Meanwhile, the other (vulnerability) is to open up about the reality of our situation and actually allow outsiders to influence us through wisdom or discipline.

I wrote a blog about lamenting a long time ago , but I feel I may have become complacent with the freedom of honesty, leaving me to forget the whole point of why lamenting is different and better than complaining. What lamenting does, is “honors the honesty of pain and anger while also honoring the truth that God is the one who reigns and whose hesed love never fails.” (quoted from a book called The Justice Calling).

When we lament, we are to do exactly what we see in Lamentations, which I am sure is surprising haha. Truly though, if you look at the structure of these chapters, we see a pattern of honesty that turns into vulnerability as the author reminds himself of the truth of God’s heart and authority.

Thus, directs us back to the head quote. Lamentations 3:21 states:

“Yet..”, meaning in spite of his reality of despair. “..this..”, referring to the truth about to follow in verses 21-27. “..I call to mind..”, disciplining himself to taking captive his thoughts for the glory of God. “..and therefore..”, surrendering his concerns to the reality of God’s sovereignty over all, “..I have hope.”, choosing to walk in belief that God is who He says He is and will remain faithful to His word.

We have a choice when it comes to our feelings, to either desperately call to mind the truth of God’s love and mercy, or to make room for the lies to take root in our hearts.

Those common phrases that I mentioned aggravate me in the beginning of this blog may actually be the kind of simple truth we need to stop overlooking as “basic” or “shallow”. They may not be specific to our current trials, but that does not make it any less true or powerful.

God is good. His timing is perfect. His love is unconditional. His mercies are new every morning. And surely, He is with us “always…to the very end of the age.”

My dear friend, lamenting is beautiful because it is the practice of being vulnerable with a God who longs deeply for a relationship with you. His truths sound so simple, but they can be some of the hardest things to remember to live in. Yet calling His reality to mind is the only way to win the war against the lies in an anxious and weary heart.

There is a hope we can rest in despite our circumstances because we serve a God who already claimed victory over the lowest, darkest place.

Thoughts to consider:

Would you say that you make room for God’s truth to transform you in your doubts or do you dwell more on your anxieties?

What difference would it make in your life if you started living more vulnerable with God instead of just honest?

What is a discipline you can practice to help store His truth in your mind so that you have a defense when lies begin to overwhelm you?

Consider the growth you could experience in your relationship with God if you started living from His victory instead of trying to dig yourself out of the grave.

“Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope.” – Lamentations 3:21

June Musings: Only Our Daily Bread

bible, Christian lifestyle, prayer

“I am weary, God, but I can prevail.” – Proverbs 30:1

Mere satisfaction seems unattainable in a society where excess is still not enough. Food portions are growing, new clothing is being stocked daily, smartphones are gaining new abilities every year, and social media is reminding you every hour of the things you are missing out on or what must buy to keep up with the trends. In all honesty, it is a draining lifestyle to live. Now don’t get me wrong, I am not saying eating good food, shopping, or being on Instagram, is terrible. I do every single one of those myself. The point I want to highlight though, is that we live in a place and time where we have so much available to us, that contentment is only found in the abundant fulfillment of our wants. No longer is the satisfaction of our needs enough for us.

Now that certainly creates a problem with materialism, but I want to focus on how that mindset impacts our relationship with God more specifically.

I was reading through Proverbs and came across an incredible chapter. And no, it’s not the infamous chapter 31. It’s the one just before it. The one that starts off with such a vulnerable and comforting statement: “I am weary, God, but I can prevail.“

That quote alone captures the reality of so many of us. But lets be real, sometimes we only can muster up the first four words of that sentence. Whether it be a trial, an internal struggle, or our doubts that wear us down, the truth we hear from God does not always leave us content.

“God, if I could have just one sign/miracle/spiritual encounter/etc.” is a prayer many may be familiar with.

I want to be very clear; seeking any of those is certainly not wrong. But there is a danger we can face when we pray that prayer with the mentality that only the fulfillment of our “wants” is enough.

Read verses 5-9:

“Every word of God is flawless;
    he is a shield to those who take refuge in him.
 Do not add to his words,
    or he will rebuke you and prove you a liar.
    Two things I ask of you, Lord; do not refuse me before I die:
Keep falsehood and lies far from me;
    give me neither poverty nor riches,
    but give me only my daily bread.
 Otherwise, I may have too much and disown you
    and say, ‘Who is the Lord?’
Or I may become poor and steal,
    and so dishonor the name of my God.”

The author was honest in his struggle at the beginning, though his confidence in his prevail was not because of his own strength, but God’s. In fact, in analyzing his request, we see him start off with reverence to the Lord and submission to His Word being perfect and sufficient.

I find this fascinating because in our current time, we have access to the Word of God via the Bible. A book of living truth – that which is timeless. And though the trials of each of us vary, our purpose and our place of refuge are found in the same source.

However, with the agenda society is pushing, the perfection, wholeness, and truth in God’s Word can be a tough belief to stand firmly behind. Because as much as we believe it is all we need, our wants prevent us from true contentment. Over consumption is all around us and encouraged by many. So it surely has the power to trickle into our perspective on God.

But take a look back at verses 8-9. Here we find the author giving us a key to guarding ourselves from that dangerous way of thinking.

“but give me only my daily bread”…

Similar to the “not my will but Yours be done, oh Lord”, statement we tend to repeat or rephrase in our own prayers as we saw Jesus teach us in Scripture, this plea in Proverbs, for just what we need, ought to be one we mention daily as a defense against the selfish desires we battle with.

It may not change your circumstance or even your mind immediately, but repetitively allowing truth to be spoken over your hearts desires will in fact change you and your perspective, not because of the phrase itself, but the power of the One who you are saying it to. Faith comes when we put belief into action. This kind of prayer is not encouraged for the sake of getting what we want. No, it is a necessity to live a life believing God is truly all you need.

My dear friend, we are tempted so often to raise our bar for what we consider “enough”. But that way of living does not stem from the God we serve. It rises from a broken humanity that believes we not only know what we need, but can attain by our own means. This mentality could not be more wrong. When will we notice our striving for “enough” is the very reason we never find it? Nothing can satisfy us nor provide all we need besides the One who created us and gives us our purpose.

Perhaps then, in the pursuit of our perfect, wholesome, and Holy God, we will realize He not only provides our daily bread, but exceeds our every desire in the way they were intended to be filled.

Thoughts to consider:

Is there any area of your life you find yourself tempted with over consumption?

Has the mentality of always needing more ever influenced your view of or relationship with God – expectations, requests, doubt, etc.?

Are there areas of your life or seasons where you seek what God can give you more than you seek Him as Himself?

Consider the ways you can challenge yourself to daily live out in faith, the belief that God is truly all you need.

“I am weary, God, but I can prevail.” – Proverbs 30:1