christian men

The Danger of Little Depth

christian, lifestyle, prayer

“But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few will find it.” – Matthew 7:14

Over the last year, I have been considering the true depth of my faith and relationship with God more than ever before. Unfortunately, however, it was not until recently I understood the value of diving that deep. In fear of either disappointment or a crumbled pride, I pushed away the potential of not being as close to God as I thought, which in turn, lead to a spiral of self-loathing. Though in this search, He who is faithful has done nothing but reveal His sweet and compassionate character time and time again.

Matthew 7:7 begins a section on the opportunity we as believers have to seek from God with confidence. Of course recognizing His authority over ours first, this scripture describes the desire God has for us to ask, seek, and knock. Like a child in awe, yet confused of the world around them, we have the freedom to bring our concerns to God. And like a loving father who reveals truth with grace, so our God does with us.

Deconstruction of the faith has been a topic recently repeated by those around me. Though, not in the way it is commonly known. Rather than the layered demolition of one’s belief in God, I have been contemplating the potentially beautiful outcome of something like deconstruction, but with the goal of developing a more genuine personal faith. I feel as though questions in the Church and amongst our Christian friends have been iced over with superficial encouragement or peer-pressured manipulation to believe in something your mind considers unreasonable in every sense.

This journey I am looking into, and softly challenging you to, is not just asking your general questions you could google and answer in 3 sentences. No. My dear friend, I am speaking about the deep, honest search of our heart, soul, and mind that breaks through strongholds, lights up our hidden doubts, and reveals our greatest fears. This, I have come to believe, may be the kind of journey that brings a freedom we never knew existed. And honestly, perhaps the life we were made to live.

Fear of disappointment may be what prevents us from moving towards this in-depth search through our faith. But if God is who He claims and the sacrifice Christ made for us was enough, this kind journey will only lead to a better understanding our ourselves, God’s heart for us, and an even greater perspective of His faithfulness.

The passage after the one about seeking begins in Matthew 7:13 and reveals one of the most motivational (in my opinion) set of verses for taking on this specific challenge. Questions and honesty in our misunderstanding’s may be swept under the mat by those around you, but I do not believe the placement of these verses was a coincidence.

Just as Jesus explains the way in which we ought to come to Him with honesty, regardless of where we are in our walk, He goes on to reveal a critical note for those who claim to follow Him…

“Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.” – Matthew 7:13-14

Note that the difference between those who go through the broad gate vs the narrow is that they simply enter through the broad, but must find the narrow.

The cost of living for Jesus is dying to ourselves. Why? Because all that we are without Him is sinful. Our flesh longs for immediate satisfaction and ruthless pride. And unfortunately, our world has normalized it to where we so often overlook it’s traces that run deep within our hearts.

My dear friend, it is a tough journey because it is a convicting and humbling one. But it is better to cultivate an authentic faith that leads to life than one requiring no deeper thought as you follow the crowd on the road to destruction.

Living Loved and Leaving the Grave Behind

bible, christian, encouragement, lifestyle

“I am willing…” – Luke 5:13 NIV

This has got to be one of the sweetest things Jesus has said, at least in my opinion.

This was said to a leper. An outcast. A man ignored by society and labeled as unclean, useless, unworthy of any community…a man whom Jesus loved.

Understanding why Jesus loves us so much has been a complicated thing to wrap my head around. He loves us because He chooses to. What compels one to see the rejected and flawed as beautiful and purpose-filled? I could not tell you. But what I can say is that God is so willing and loving despite all that we are.

Yet being broken just like the leper, tax collector, and paralyzed man in Luke 5, why is it that when we come to Jesus and are given a new name, there is a hesitation to leave our grave clothes behind as those 3 men did?

Desperate for God’s Involvement

Could it be a result of not actually wanting healing or perhaps the trouble of unbelief?

The moment the man with leprosy caught a glimpse of Jesus, he collapsed. Not even glancing up towards Jesus’ face, he cried and begged at His feet saying, “Lord if you are willing, you can make me clean.”

This man was desperate for healing and acted out in that desperation. He knew the power and heart of Christ enough to know that He could heal and often would.

But what about in your life? It is critical that we posture ourselves at the feet of Jesus in prayer, putting faith in His power that still moves today and in His heart that we know is abundant in love. As the man offered Jesus access into his situation, Jesus “reached out His hand and touched the man.” What a beautiful joy it is to have a God who steps in and reaches for us.

Through the lepers desperation, Jesus made him new. As someone who finds it quite hard to willingly place myself in a receptive posture, I realize that the new creation God longs for us to become cannot be cultivated unless I give Him access. I know it is hard, but my friend, I pray you see that regardless of whether or not you feel worthy of being loved, God’s goodness is running after you (psalm 23). Not because you did anything to deserve it, but again, because He simply chooses to love.

No longer was the man known as a leper, but rather, he was free to leave that label behind and live clean. May we too be as desperate to leave the grave behind as we are desperate to be healed.

Confidence in God’s Faithfulness

This next passage of scripture is honestly one of the most fascinating events recorded. Jesus was in the middle of His teaching when a few men decided it was now or never for the healing of their friend. With the crowd being impossible to push through, these men put their paralyzed friend on a mat and lowered him down from the ceiling!

These men came to Jesus because they were confident of who He claimed to be. Because of their bold faith, they refused to let this moment pass so they did anything they could to get their friend in Jesus’ presence. Can we just pause for a moment and note that these sweet guys are perfect examples of the kind of friend we ought to become and be looking for.

In response, Jesus saw their hearts and said, “Friend, your sins are forgiven.” Again God brought new life into the lives of the broken. He sees the depth of our desires and when we long for Him, being bold in our faith, He responds with sweet redemption. Yet this was not the end of the story. After being criticized by the pharisees, Jesus reassured the crowd of the truth in His word. The same truth the men from the roof believed; Jesus is the Son of Man and holds the authority to forgive sin and heal physical ailments. And shortly after, He told the paralyzed man, “I tell you, get up, take your mat and go home.” And so he did.

Dear Christian, there will be times where the mountain in front of you seems impossible to get through. But may those moments cause us to reflect back and look up towards our faithful God. Sometimes the goodness in the past or in His word is the only clear thing you can see. But let your confidence never waiver for our God is the same loving and willing God as He was in these two passages.

Receptive of God’s Love

Now we come to one of the hardest passages for me to get through. Levi was a man who was shunned by his community, as the jews did not like the tax collectors because they were labeled as selfish traitor’s. He was just a man living in sin, like you and me. But on one random day, Jesus caught sight of this man and said two words to him, “Follow me.” If that wasn’t surprising enough, in what seems like immediately, verse 28 says, “and Levi got up, left everything and followed Him.”

One common theme we see among each of these stories is the obedience of these men as they encounter Jesus. Every single one of them accepted the grace He gave out. Maybe for you that is very easy. But for me, I struggle to understand how they did such a thing. Not one of them tried to explain themselves, make promises to live perfectly for Jesus as repayment, nor were any of them even recorded asking questions of what to do if they became sick, paralyzed, or rejected again. Instead, they openly received the love and mercy of God and went on testifying His goodness.

After Levi started following Jesus, he threw a big banquet at his house. Among the invited were not pharisees and saint’s, but tax collector’s and other sinners. Though that may make our hearts tender to think about, it made the pharisees all the more mad. But again, Jesus defended His love for us as He said in verse 31-32, “It is not the healthy who need a doctor but the sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance.”

I can only imagine the amount of humility it took to be at that party. The people knew they needed Jesus and were willing to be open to His love, even though they knew they could never repay Him.

May we learn to put aside our worries, doubts, feelings of inadequacy, and any other wall that might block our hearts from giving Jesus full access. He loves because He chooses to. And my dear friend, He is indeed willing to make you new if you let Him in. You may not be fully healed or freed from the things you want in the way you want to, but He will surely work things for your ultimate good and for His glory in His perfect timing.

The life of Jesus was lived out so that we could have a path to salvation, yes, but also for God’s heart to be displayed in front of us, as He stepped out of heaven to be in flesh like us. Delight for He is a sweet savior and thank goodness our circumstances nor brokenness change that truth.

Go ahead, leave those grave clothes where Jesus found you and go on dancing for you have been made new.

at a loss.

bible, christian, Christian lifestyle, easter, encouragement, lifestyle, prayer, Worship

I don’t really want to write anything right now. Like if I could hide away in my room for the next few years, or maybe decades, I totally would.

I write this blog on Monday, March 27th, 2023. Four days before I put down my best friend. My baby. My beloved 14 year old pekingese, Macho. I didn’t want to write anything because I didn’t want anyone to ask about him or ask how I am doing because it will just make me feel worse. But for some aggravating reason, God keeps weighing this post on my mind. And yes, I say aggravating because I REALLY don’t want to think about it, much less write and post about it. But maybe God wants to speak to someone besides me, or maybe it is just for me to look back on as the encouragement I may desperately need in the coming weeks. I guess we shall see.

One thing a lot of people don’t know about me is that I struggle a lot with being joyful. But recently, when I would think about what I have to do in four days, God has been reminding me that there is ALWAYS good to find. Crazy, I know. Believe me, He knows I think it is absolutely insane to see any glimpse of goodness in this time. But He persisted with this promise every time I would try to negotiate Him giving Macho 20 more years of life in exchange for literally anything I could give up. In all honesty, it was kind of annoying. As I said, I struggle with being joyful quite a bit. Not because I can’t see it, but because after so many disappointments in my life, I tend to not even try to look.

But that’s just it. If Jesus, in all His glory, is standing 1 foot away from me, but I keep my eyes and ears closed in the name of “protecting my heart from another disappointment”, it is not His fault that I cannot see His goodness.

I heard this song by Hannah McClure called “Always good”. I love that song…usually. But when I was thinking about what is about to happen, all the song did was make me mad. How can God ALWAYS be good, or turn things for good, if things like this have to happen? Like why even exhaust myself trying to see this glimpse of glory if it is only a result of the massive storm of pain?

Then my mind reminded my heart of this: John 3:16. Genesis 37. Genesis 6-9. Ruth. Daniel 3. and so on.

In each and every one of those stories, there was a devastating or super scary experience or event that happened just before God revealed exactly where His goodness had been the whole time. And yes, Jesus is included in the list. God Himself, lost His Son. Not by natural death, but by sacrifice because He knew it was the most loving expression anyone could do.

Ironically, Easter is in just a few weeks. But three days before that is a day that should be very dark. It’s the day Jesus died. The day that Heaven went silent, in a mixture of mourning and anticipation for the promise of the coming goodness. We call it Good Friday only because we can testify of the genuine goodness that followed that devastating event.

But what about times like now? Where the only thing in sight is the devastation. The loss. The event that honestly seems impossible to be turned in any other direction besides depressing.

My dear friend, if those are your thoughts, I am right there with you. But I have learned some stuff recently. And although I am slow to wanting to feel gratitude towards anything right now, I have to say, I believe God has prepared me for this moment with snippets of truth He brought me through the blessing of others over the last few months:

Joy is a choice. You can be joyful without feeling happy. It is okay to be sad, God designed us with emotions, but it is not okay to let the sadness be louder than the truth from the voice of the Spirit. The mind can know truth without the heart believing it. In this case, choosing to surrender your heart to God even when it feels pointless is your most important task. And lastly, God is ALWAYS good. His plans are good and beautiful regardless of the mess you feel entangled in.

Again I say, joy, and honestly, experiencing anything pertaining to the character of God, IS. A. CHOICE.

It is a choice that only you can make. And it is a choice that requires discipline over motivation. Wisdom over feelings. And faith over sight.

This is definitely not the first time I have felt this way about life and the goodness of God and honestly, I am pretty sure it is no where near the last time. But that is just it. Life is a cycle of ups and downs, not because God’s goodness changes, but because we fail to choose consistent faith in who He is.

Like a roller coaster about to make it’s big drop, we close our eyes in fear of what lies ahead. We scream in chaos because we are overwhelmed by the experience. But friend, the longer you close your eyes and the louder you scream, the more time you will spend shutting out the potential goodness Jesus want’s to show you and the less you will hear the voice of truth and peace that the Spirit wants to whisper to you.

Dear tender-hearted reader…and future me, I know goodness is the last thing you want someone to tell you to “try to see”. I know numbing emotions, sulking, or distracting yourself may seem a lot more intriguing. But worldly solutions were not meant to heal a heart designed and crafted in Heaven. Only our gracious, and yes, very good, Creator can properly handle that beautiful, yet broken heart in a way that will last.

Be honest in your pain. But do not misplace your desperation when searching for healing. You belong to God. And oh boy, is there so much great freedom in that.

Choose to believe the fruit will one day bloom from your soil that seems to only be getting tilled right now.

So…where do I see the goodness in losing my dog? Well, the truth is, I don’t. But perhaps the glory of this moment will come to life after my own. Perhaps the goodness was meant to be seen in the life he lived. Or perhaps it is in the fact that he no longer has to suffer. Whatever it is, wherever it is, does not change the truth that it is somewhere. So may worship continue according to the truth I know, as God is still always good, even when I can’t see it.

Beautifully Desperate

bible, christian, Christian lifestyle, encouragement

“For she said, ‘If I touch even his garments, I will be made well.'” – Mark 5:28

One of the most overlooked feelings, I have come to notice, is desperation. In a world constantly promoting independence and self-sustainability, being desperate is often one of the last ways a person would probably hope to be described as. But in the eyes of a God wanting nothing but the best for their child, no characteristic could be so critical.

There once was a woman with a hurt that seemed to have no end. Day after day, year after year, her illness remained persistent, but so did her humble heart. The moment that the Messiah was rumored to be passing through her town, she did what she had to do to reach Him. Even if it was just for a glimpse.

With the crowd growing and the judgment of those around her, knowing the unclean illness she had, this was no easy journey, but it was one that she believed would result in a life-changing blessing. She was desperate for the presence of God and she refused to allow the people or circumstances around her keep her from experiencing it.

I heard this quote the other day that said what we truly need is “an expectation that is willing to wait in His presence and a desperation that is willing to take action when He says to move.”

Chills. I know. And what a beautiful picture we see of that exact posture as we unpack this ill woman’s story.

With every step came concern and anxiousness, I am sure, as there is always the thought of rejection deep in the mind of those who act in desperation. But this was different. Within moments, a far away glimpse turned into a gentle contact with the One that so many have proclaimed to be the Messiah. What was once known as life was divided into the past and made into a new thing. In an act following her inward desperation for God and all the good things that He is, she was healed and freed from the identity society gave her as the “sick woman”.

Because of Jesus, she walked with a new name. Her steps were light as she allowed Him to take up her burdens. In her great desperation, came a great redemption.

My dear friend, there is a never ending supply of grace and freedom in the hands of Jesus. But until you empty your own hands and choose the humble path of a soul desperate for it’s maker, you will never give yourself the opportunity to experience that awe-striking presence of God.

As NON-self-sufficient as it may sound, a desperate heart after God’s own is a posture that one should pursue as long as they breathe.

It’s LOVE Day!

Christian lifestyle

“for God so LOVED the world, that He gave His one and only begotten Son that whosoever believes in Him shall not perish but have everlasting life.” – John 3:16

It’s Valentines Day! This day, I feel, has a mixed response from many. Some are over joyed to spend the day with their significant other. Some simply go about the day just as any other. Some celebrate with their family or friends. And some grieve as they remember their lost loved ones.

I realize the sensitivity of this day is the same as many other holidays dedicated to celebrating certain people. But as I contemplated the way in which one could be happy on this day regardless of their circumstance, I had a thought.

What if we disciplined ourselves to express TRUE love to absolutely everyone we encounter this day?

The kind of love that is patient, forgiving, selfless, encouraging, comforting, etc. What kind of transformation would the lives of those around you have if you showed them a glimpse of the most real love?

I am sure you have heard people say “you should treat your significant other like its Valentine’s Day everyday” or “you should show Gods love everyday”. But the reality is, we are not perfect. There are days where expressing the kind of patient and unconditional love we are commanded to share is the LAST thing we want to do. Not to say that as an excuse, I am simply pointing out the flaw of being human.

So what if instead, we challenged ourselves REALLY hard to do it today?

I believe the impact that the Holy Spirit on our heart always results in change. When a person truly acknowledges the love of Christ, there is no reason they should remain just as they were before. With that being true, if we express that same love that Christ showed us, even for just one day, should it not lead to change and a renewal of the heart?

My dear friend, whether you are excited, sad, or neutral about Valentine’s Day, the love God has for you remains consistent. The comfort and wholeness that He gives you does not change based on your circumstances.

The greatest expression of love is revealed in the verse above. So when you wake up today and think about the heart posture you will have as you pass everyone celebrating this beautiful thing called love, think about the impact you could have if you let yourself be powered by the same love God revealed on the cross.

The result of God’s love brought life. I pray you not only feel that today but work your hardest to share it with others. You never know how much it could mean to the strangers you encounter today.