To Know His Nature

bible, christian, spiritual formation

“Then the disciple whom Jesus loved said to Peter, ‘It is the Lord!’ As soon as Simon Peter heard him say, ‘It is the Lord,’ he wrapped his outer garment around him (for he had taken it off) and jumped into the water.” – John 21:7

What a difference it makes in a broken person’s life to understand the nature of Jesus.

Mistakes happen. Some brush it off, some learn from them, and some – well, I fear too many of us – allow them to define them and their way of thinking. Our responses vary based on the severity of our wrong doings, but nevertheless, they often have a greater impact on us than we would like to admit.

In the end of the Gospel of John, we come across the denial from Peter. A man who walked with Christ in the flesh and learned from Him for roughly three years…fell short. When times got tense and his physical life was at stake, he let go of what mattered most for what he thought was more important at the time.

But can we blame him? As much as we want to say that we would have done it differently, is that really true? How often do we break our commitment to obeying God for immediate satisfaction in just the span of one week? We are no different than Peter. For all we have known since our first breath, was life on earth. So it is only natural for us to protect it above all else when it is at risk of being taken. Regardless of how much we believe in eternity, we have yet to experience it. So now, we see that we stand in very similar sandals of this broken, sinful disciple.

We’ve let people down. We’ve said rude things. We have chosen to satisfy ourselves over helping another. We have fallen short. Time and time again. But may we not forget the nature of the loving One we made our commitment to.

After the denial, Peter went back to what he did prior to meeting Jesus. He was fishing with his friends. After trying all night, the morning comes and a man from the shore directs them to cast their nets again. Surely doubtful, yet in obedience, they throw their nets and pull up an abundance. Without much time passing, John recognizes the man was Jesus. In saying it, Peter immediately jumps out of the boat and swims towards Christ.

When they met, Jesus had prepared breakfast for them and we then see one of the most loving moments ever. Jesus asks Peter if he loves Him. Not once. Not twice. But the same amount of times that he denied Him. After each time, He gave Peter a responsibility. This is an incredible moment, for we see that Jesus, though rejected by his own friend, leads us in how we ought to forgive. Not because He needed to, but because His love for us is so very strong.

In this moment, Peter had two options. He could either say, “I have betrayed you, there is no way I can grow the kingdom.”, and then return to fishing, that which he had known about well and found security in. Or he could pursue the next step in the establishment of the early church, trusting that the new identity and call from Jesus was possible despite his brokenness.

I want to note that it wasn’t a matter of the specific job, it was about the call. Would he let go of what he found purpose in prior to meeting Christ so that he can work towards expanding the kingdom, or will his failure and desire for security and familiarity consume him?

I have always struggled with my immediate thoughts. When I get hurt, I may have learned to hold in my outward expressions, but it is always a battle in my mind. Whether it is bitterness, rude thoughts, a grudge, or the internal planning of my next petty move, I could not seem to change inwardly.

The other day, it occurred to me the type of person I was becoming. A hypocrite. My thoughts were allowed to run wild as long as my outward emotions remained contained because “taking captive every thought” was just too exhausting.

I held onto my brokenness as though it were a part of who I was created to be. But when I recognized that it was the complete opposite of how Christ loved others, I broke down. I could not even finish praying, for I felt so very ashamed. I felt disgusting before the Lord.

I went to sleep that night and awoke with the same empty, shaky feeling in my chest. The same one I felt after every big failure in my life. This was it. This was how I figured I would remain, for how could one altar their immediate thoughts? And if I couldn’t figure it out, how could I ever believe a loving God would want such a bitter person to have a part in His good plans?

Then, my scripture reading for that morning was the story I had just explained. The last chapter of John.

I imagine Peter felt guilt. And maybe he even lost hope in his potential of growing God’s kingdom. But what brought him to a place where he could be made new, was his faith in the nature of Christ. His faith in the One who met him where he was and promised to never leave him.

Peter went after Christ because he understood that Jesus was forgiving. He knew He was the One who makes old become new and the broken, redeemed. But he wouldn’t experience that if he hid in the boat because of his shame.

I sat there after reading that in complete awe. How many times have I avoided time with the Lord because I was ashamed of my actions? I cannot even count how many times I let my fear and my disappointment in myself steal moments I could rest in the forgiving presence of Christ.

The God we serve is the God of new things. I never thought about that deeply until last year when I was at a loss of where my life was going and God spoke, “from death to life” to me. It meant so much. But the expectancy I had for God to do that again has died down. To be transparent, I forgot about it. And in my lack of remembering, I let the lies of the enemy take root.

My disappointment, shame, hopelessness, and guilt drove my life. And for so long, I saw my mistakes as the reason I could not be who God calls us to become. But praise Him, for I was so wrong.

My dear friend, our brokenness is the very thing that God wants us to lay before Him so that He can make us new. Until we believe that He is greater than our mistakes, we will not understand the nature of who He is. For what significance does His forgiveness have if we were not in desperate need of it? His gentle, forgiving response to our failures is the path we must go through to become who He calls us to be. For our brokenness is the seemingly barren ground that He actually longs to make fruitful.

Henri J. M. Nouwen states, “If you are ready to listen from your brokenness then something new can come forth in you.

Thoughts to Consider:

Is there any area of your life that you are not allowing God to change because you prefer the security it brings you?

Would you recognize God’s voice if it came in a way you didn’t expect? (This comes from time spent learning it.)

How can you take action towards letting God make new what you see as unredeemable?

Consider the life change you could experience and share if you not only knew but whole heartedly believed that God’s nature is one of boundless love.

“Then the disciple whom Jesus loved said to Peter, ‘It is the Lord!’ As soon as Simon Peter heard him say, ‘It is the Lord,’ he wrapped his outer garment around him (for he had taken it off) and jumped into the water.” – John 21:7

Quit the Molding

Christian lifestyle, spiritual formation

For a while now, I have been working towards the development of a “morning routine” that first and foremost devoted time to God.

I am by no means a “morning person”, and frankly, I find it hard to believe many people naturally are. Nonetheless, studying the practices of others, I decided I would force myself to be one.

After spending 30-40 minutes with God nearly each morning, (yes, I have missed days here and there), I started to notice something…

It doesn’t get any easier. In fact, the reason I missed some days was due to the thought that I could wake up later, get ready for work first, and then do my quiet time. Yet, each and every time, I failed.

But alongside learning that, I also learned that the reason I have not quit and moved it all back to be a part of my nighttime routine, was because my heart hungered for it first thing in the morning.

When I would skip it, I would be angry and easily tempted into justify the sins that would result from that. But just a few hours later, I would find myself drowning in shame.

It was as though many soul developed a need for this time, this experience with God, before all else. So much so, that it would battle its old self and the new self all day long.

The old self would not mind if I had missed this time for weeks, as long as no one found out. Yet my new, redeemed, and Holy-Spirit filled soul knows there is better. Better when I devote my first fruits to God and invite Him into my every moment from the moment my eyes open to when they close at night.

I am aware this sounds silly or typical coming from a church worker, but I have found nothing calls me to this disciplined way besides the call of being a Christ follower. The fact that my family believes in Jesus does not compel me to spend more time in prayer. The fact that I work in ministry does not force me to read my Bible, for how would they know if I did not? And the “christian-writer” dream I have does not require me to devote my mornings to worshipping God.

No thing and no one has the power to dictate what I spend my free time doing. That is, and always will be, my responsibility. For my word can say one thing and my actions another.

The call I have decided to take on when I accepted Christ was one that would only be lived out through my personal devotion in spirit and acts to God.

So how and why then, do I say we ought to stop the molding?

I fear this society has acquired a mentality that what we want to do with our lives can be accomplished while simultaneously remaining inconvenienced.

We hear it all the time, some have even heard it from me in the past, “Find the time that best works for your schedule and section off 5-20 minutes to spend time with God.”

…I take back that advise if I have said it to you before.

What I have noticed is that our souls have a deep hunger and longing for the presence of God in every moment our lives and it’s going to take a lot more than 10 minutes of us reading a couple verses at night while we are half-asleep.

The Lord deserves more than that. And your soul, my friend, cannot survive like that forever.

We should not, and cannot, continue molding God around our lives.

We often hear the verse about giving our “first fruits” to God in relation to our money. That is what we call the tithe, our first 10% of our income.

But I would argue this should be applied in all we do. There is a lack of awareness of our soul’s needs that we cannot understand or even explain because it is so deep that we are sometimes left like babies, crying for a need, but incapable of expressing it in words.

This is not because we are dumb, but simply unaware. Our perspectives are limited, and unfortunately will remain that way without the leaning on the Holy Spirit. Proverbs 3:5-6 is quoted all over the place. We see it on a plaque at the church, printed on your grandma’s coffee mug, and surely you have seen it on a woman’s t-shirt before.

“Trust in the Lord with all you heart and lean not on your own understanding, but in all your ways submit to Him and He will make your paths straight.”

Encouraging and sweet words that reveal the caring and wise heart of God, yet we still find ourselves only tuning into that source (God/Holy Spirit) for a few minutes at night.

I do not mean to be against the nighttime study crowd, but I am seeking to challenge you.

One of the biggest reasons people have told me, and even a reason that I used to say, was that the quietest time and the most free time one has, is at night, while all others are asleep, or after a hard days work.

But as I brutally force myself to continue waking up at these ungodly hours of the morning to pray and read before I begin getting ready for work, I have found I would not go back to the main quiet time being at night.

First, in the morning, one is going from full sleep, the most unaware state and gradually, with the help of God’s great gift: coffee, into a state of greater awareness. Some may take longer than others, but if you begin with being asleep, you can only ever continue becoming more awake.

Additionally, our culture struggles, including myself, with stewarding time. One of the reasons I miss my quiet time when I save it for the last part of my morning routine, is because I find myself taking too long in finding an outfit to wear or doing my hair, that I steal the minutes of quiet time and end up rushing to work before even glancing at my Bible.

This time, instead, is protected when you make it your first task.

What this also does, is train yourself to not avoid the consequences of your own actions. If you wake up late, you begin quiet time, and end up going to work late, you will think twice about choosing to enjoy those extra 15 minutes of sleep again. Yet, if you wake up, and instead, cut the quiet time for the sake of getting ready on time, you protect yourself from the consequences (being late) that you rightfully deserve. Thus, leading you to justify your bad decisions because the only person who knows you skipped your God time is you and God.

It is hard but it is necessary if you desire to grow. For what you spend your time doing is, and always will be, up to you and your responsibility to be used for God’s glory.

After all, the Lord calls us to take up our cross daily…a cross was a never a comfortable thing to endure. It was one that represented death. And how else does one live as a new creation without putting to death the old flesh and old ways?

One’s “first fruits” are those that are picked before the rest. They are not the leftovers nor the ones picked after one has gotten their filling. They are given first and foremost.

When linking this idea with the responsibility we as Christ followers have to steward our time well, it only makes sense that our every breath should be first devoted to God alone and then to the things He has placed before us.

As everyone’s jobs and mornings look differently, the amount of time one devotes in the morning may look different, as well as where exactly they spend this time at.

But what I have found, is that despite the hour we must leave for work or begin our daily tasks, we can always wake up earlier. Due to my struggle of deep feelings, I cannot get less than a certain amount of sleep or I suffer greatly, so as old as this may make me sound, I try very hard most nights to be asleep by 9-9:30pm so that I can stay around the eight hour mark. This means saying “no” sometimes to late night outings with friends and it means I must steward my nighttime chores and such to be completed by that time. In doing that, it makes less excuses available for me in the morning.

At the end of the day, this is not written in stone nor in scripture. But there is a hunger and desire written on our hearts and deep in our soul that I find, suffers, when we save but a taste of God for the night, as we drift in and out of sleepiness.

My dear friend, in your schedule, you hold the power to determine what kind of God you worship. One of convenience, that you believe you can know deeply through a five minute conversation at night, or the One of the Bible, that which may call for inconvenience, yet will grow you and fill you in ways you never knew your soul needed. Our time is considered one of the most valuable things to us, so where will your first fruits go? How long will you continue trying to mold God around the precious gift in which He gave you?

Thoughts to Consider:

What obstacles are currently preventing more time in community with God?

If you have implemented this practice in your morning, in what ways have you seen growth and what are the distractions pulling you to fall for the temptation of convenience?

How can you reschedule your priorities to protect that time in the presence of God?

Consider the growth your relationship with God could experience and how much your soul has been hungering for greater unity with Him unknowingly.

January Musings – The God of His Word

bible, christian, encouragement

“Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” – 1 Peter 5:7

I had a pitiful moment the other day. Just after I had done what some may consider an awesome thing, the same feeling of hopelessness flooded my mind that typically does after I teach others about God.

I cannot tell you what exactly sparks this feeling, but I can assure you that it always comes shortly after God has done something incredible in my life. It is a feeling of “this is far too good to be true”.

And I don’t mean in terms of what I am doing by my own power, but solely in regards to what God has done. Sometimes, if I am honest, it feels as though I have received something He intended for another. Perhaps someone who appreciates all things and can agree that “God is good” to them without a shadow of a doubt.

Unfortunately, as I much as I wish and aspire to be that person, I have yet to get there.

So, after I had taught a group of people about Jesus, I could not handle my thoughts. It was as though a flood of anxiety rushed over my whole body. Paralyzing my every attempt at distracting myself with mindless actions.

As I laid on my bed after work that day, I tried to force my body to get up and do something, anything, to stop the thinking. They were the kind of thoughts that I cannot even communicate into words. All I can describe it as was the very presence of anxiety. The same way I would describe experiencing God as the very presence of peace and hope. This was anything but that.

I raced through ideas of what I could possibly do to force myself – my whole being – to get out of this slump, and suddenly, like a small candle in a pitch black room, one thought containing some hope came to mind. That was to force myself into a posture of surrendering to God.

1 Peter 5:7 was spoken like a whisper breaking painful silence in my heart. So, I ran with it.

I grabbed a book about living for Jesus, put worship music in my air pods, got on my bike and ran out the door.

It was only about 2 songs in until I ran out of energy, as I am not the most fit person in the world, so I parked my bike at a random bench a few blocks from my house and sat down, staring at the grass. It was like the old days. The days in college, where blogs like “Finding Your Quiet Place” was written. It was a place of peace.

And I do not just mean the grassy patch I found, though that was nice. But more so, the space made clear in my heart. I ached for God. As much as I wanted to curl up in a ball and let my anxieties bring me to the place of hopelessness, that I know far too well, something in me knew that wasn’t the place I was in anymore, and it wasn’t a place I would give God room in.

After a couple minutes, I pulled out the book, “Practicing the Way”, (..that I definitely have not been “reading” for like the last year..) and I focused all I could on every word. John Mark Comer is a believer I greatly admire, and though I was intrigued by his writing, it had me pause a lot and realize the way God was moving. Not just in the past, but right now. In this place, on that bench, at that moment.

The suffocating feeling my soul felt from this inexplicable anxiety was slowly being relieved. Not completely gone, but definitely on its way.

I sat there some more, just looking around and realized the problem with our society. Well, if I am being real, the problem with me. Our culture is so loud. And as much as I have been disciplining my actions to stay a safe distance away from this world of distraction, I have hardly focused on my thoughts consistently. Only every so often would I consider the weight of my thoughts in regards to the distraction I experience from God.

There is more to a disciplined life seeking the quiet if your goal is to hear the whisper and experience the nearness of the Lord. It is more than setting restrictions on your social media, setting aside quiet time alone, or making boundaries with those around you. It is about the stillness you allow God to move through in your mind and heart as well. It is about the casting of your worries, your cares, your dreams, your hopes…dear believer, it is the casting of all things that run across your mind. The casting of them to God.

1 Peter 5:7-9 says this:

“Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that the family of believers throughout the world is undergoing the same kind of sufferings.”

I am only going to pull out verse 7 but I thought the surrounding words may be a blessing to read for some.

Verse 7 says that we ought to cast ALL our anxiety on Him. Not because we will die or be smote by Him if we don’t, but simply because He cares for you. And part of the humility spoken in verse 6 is understanding He is more powerful than your anxieties combined. And only when they are placed in His hands, will they be used to bring Him glory and us good.

This verse is intriguing to see in that context because this passage was written for the elders of the Church and their flock. Many would assume that the Christian walk brings you on a smoother path than others, but that is not true, and this verse reveals that. To the people pursuing God, they are told that rather than a smooth journey through life, they will receive the companionship of God Himself in every step of the way. As they walk through this chaotic life of many trials, He is close and He is caring. Hoping we see the beauty and blessing of casting all to Him.

I said I was only focusing on verse 7, but I feel that the one following it is relevant to this point.

In verse 8, it calls believers to be sober minded. This means something along the lines of being free from intoxicating influences. Though that could mean material things, I would argue the could cover internal toxic things as well, such as our thoughts.

Now I am no master at controlling my thoughts. I have grown from where I was, but still there remains a struggle. One of the most common toxic thoughts in my mind is that which I stated at the beginning, “this is far too good to be true”.

When I was growing up, I heard of how powerful and great God was. I heard that we were but sinners unable to do anything truly good without Him. So as I went through life and experienced things, there were moments I felt very uncomfortable. Those were moments of good things. At every award or opportunity received, I would feel good for a second and then hear this voice that weighed me down like a ball and chain…

…”You don’t deserve this. Someone better should be in your shoes. You are a sinner and only deserve Hell”.

This thought became my mindset towards every good thing I was a part of. But what I now know, is that is only half the truth.

Yes. We are all sinners. Technically, we all deserved Hell. That is true. But what is also true is that Jesus Christ paid the price of our sin, so we could run free with Him for eternity.

I had heard what Jesus did for me since I was in 5th grade. But it took believing God is a God of His Word for me to stop the toxic thoughts that the half truth stirred up in my mind. For until I did, my mind was fogged by lies born out of the only truth I believed – that I was a sinner and deserved nothing but Hell.

My dear friend, allowing those lies to grow does not equal a sober mind. For it just leads to the decaying of the hope in your heart and soul. It leads to a life where you think you can control what you cannot and a place of unnecessary hopelessness. Believing in the whole truth, God’s Word, that His sacrifice was enough, does not mean you now deserve goodness. It simply opens your heart up to accepting His grace and living by His will. It makes your whole being available to whatever He calls you to. Not because you deserve, are good enough, or worthy of anything. But simply because He is the God who cares. So take Him at His Word.

Thoughts to Consider:

How would you describe the state of your mind/thoughts/anxieties?

What are the things, in any of area of your life, that you need to cast to God? (Not meaning disregarding things, but giving control of them to God).

List the lies you have been believing, even if they are half-truths, and find scripture that combats them.

Consider the transformation you can have for God if you began believing He was a God of His Word.

“Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” – 1 Peter 5:7

October Musings: The Quiet Selfless Life

bible, Christian lifestyle, spiritual formation

“and to make it your ambition to lead a quiet life: You should mind your own business and work with your hands, just as we told you…” – 1 Thessalonians 4:11

No one has to twist my arm for me to spend time by myself. For some reason, I find some of the most fun times are when I am alone. This is not to degrade the times that I am with others – I love those moments too, but being alone is not just a liking of mine, it is often what I find myself longing for, and desperately needing after a given number of hours in the day.

A couple years ago, I learned about solitude. The kind that you dedicate to God. This honestly blew my mind because I used to feel as though there was something wrong with me for desiring alone time as much as I did. Learning about this helped me understand that there was nothing wrong with liking that time, but there was a way to glorify God during it…and a way to not. And unfortunately, I recognized how often I had spent doing the latter.

Over time, I discipline myself to being intentional about solitude with God, but it has been hard. Considering what I want to do for a living, (being a faith-based author) I struggle a lot because I prefer to stay hidden while people read my heart’s expressions through words in black and white. However, in this day and age, I am forced to utilize things like social media for the sake of actually having my thoughts cross paths with the rest of the world. As much as I have tried to balance the means to my goals and still glorify God in my quiet time, I find myself more so spending the minutes or hours decompressing alone with my mind focused on how I will recharge myself.

The thought of God and fades as my capacity reaches its maximum and that hope of any “God time” turns into “me time”. I have grown a selfish perspective of something God designed for good.

I spend hours searching for ways to become what I feel called to be, yet barely addressing the One who called me. More time alone was what I thought I needed, but I couldn’t have been more wrong.

The quiet life is not about being alone. It is not about doing all you do in silence. Nor is it truly about you at all…

Looking at 1 Thessalonians 4, we find our purpose. “…we instructed you how to live in order to please God…Now we ask you and urge you in the Lord Jesus to do this more and more.” (portions of verse 1).

This verse is incredible because it reveals the absence of limits on our growth. You can read the Bible 15 times over, pray every day, and serve weekly, but there will always be more ways to please God. Now let me be clear, this pursuit is not to result in salvation, but to be a result of it. Looking at verse 3, we find out what this process is called; “sanctification”.

In layman’s terms, this means to become more like God. It is the journey all begin once they have committed to a life of dying to themselves and living for Jesus.

This is the general word people use in reference to the overall transformation of their lives for Christ, but I want to focus in on how we ought to pursue a quiet life through this process.

You may be extremely outgoing and thinking this word isn’t for you too but your personality does not change the fact that we ALL are called to live in a way that pleases the Lord, and one thing that Jesus showed us by example throughout the Gospels was that solitude matters and plays a role in shaping the rest of your life.

So, how then does one live a quiet life – without either being selfish and turning it all into “me time” or giving up their extroverted ways?

Simply put, by remembering the purpose. Your purpose.

I’ll say it again, the quiet life is not exactly about spending a certain number of hours alone. It is about what verse 11 highlights; “You should mind your own business and work with your hands…”

Living honest, honorable, and Christ-centered lives each and every day.

Maybe for the extrovert, this looks like spending time in prayer and meditation before you leave your home to protect your heart from the desire of attention or hope in finding value through others. And perhaps for the introvert, this looks like asking God to protect your heart from the selfish desires of comfort over sharing His love with others or from an egocentric way of determining what is worth your time away from home.

I say those from experience in feelings, not from criticism.

Ultimately, the quiet life is more about pursuing God in humility. It is not about volume, as God uniquely and purposely made us all different. Rather, it is to live your days proclaiming one name and loving those whom He saw worth dying for, “that none may perish.” (John 3:16)

My dear friend. I am a lover of quiet, but my flesh turns it into something that glorifies myself. I pray you recognize the value of your hidden place and time with God. For until you do, your heart will always seek to benefit itself first and foremost.

We live for the pleasure of God, not ourselves. That is what quiet looks like.

And we choose to love and stretch ourselves for the sake of those around us, not for an ego boost, more social media likes, or because it’s comfortable, but that they might see Him in us.

Thoughts to Consider:

Do you find yourself using your “God time” for your own boost in pride or most of your alone time for your fleshly indulgences?

Where can you schedule extra time out of your day to focus on your purpose and why God has placed you in the current position you are in?

What distractions or habits do you need to address in order to stay consistent in your quiet time?

Consider how much these intentional moments alone with God could reset not just your approach to your day, but to your whole life as well.

“and to make it your ambition to lead a quiet life: You should mind your own business and work with your hands, just as we told you…” – 1 Thessalonians 4:11

March Musings: On The Inconvenience of Believing

Christian lifestyle

“For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.” – Luke 6:45

Paul Tripp once stated, “I am a man in moment by moment need of the rescuing grace of my Redeemer.”

Such a short statement, captivated me by it’s depth.

The other day, I was sitting and thinking of how to grow engagement in my church when I realized the majority of the complaints I read online from others about various churches were based on things not being convenient enough.

In my research, I read parents complaining about driving their kids to youth after work. I read elders saying the messages weren’t a deep enough exegesis of scripture on Sunday mornings. I read comments about coffee’s not tasting good enough from people who never volunteered a day in their life.

Needless to say, I read a lot of complaints about the church not being convenient enough to satisfy everyone’s needs within the hour and a half service on Sunday morning.

However, I too am guilty of this, as I recall every remark I have made about service being far too early in the morning for me to ever be on time.

If you have not recognized it yet, we as humans tend to blame outside factors for our inconvenienced heart.

But my dear friend, as gently as I can say this…it’s not the church, the traffic, the bad coffee, nor the hassle of attending a small group mid-week that is at fault for your frustrated heart…it’s yourself.

Scripture tells us countless times that to follow Christ, we must deny ourself. That does not just mean holding in our anger at someone who cut us off on the way to work. No, rather, it means going against every desire for self-glorification and immediate satisfaction that our hearts hunger so deeply for.

Paul Tripp, on the topic of communication from the heart, stated that humans have organic consistency. As an apple tree is an apple tree from its roots to its fruit, what we speak is not sometimes “what we did not mean”, rather, it is what our hearts truly felt, but our mouths did not filter.

In Luke 6, we see Jesus compare the way one speaks from the heart to a tree that produces the fruit of it’s nature. Neither man nor tree can produce what is not truly at their core.

Then it hit me. Christianity is not hard because people may mock us.
I have been a Christian for nearly 10 years and can still count on one hand the number of bullies I had that were strictly because of my faith. Nor is Christianity hard because the church makes us join groups or serve in order to grow. Anything you want to do requires a sacrifice of time, so the question for the one who blames the church is this; is your faith not worth the sacrifice?

Those things may be factors that play into the struggle of being a Christian, but the true reason Christianity is so hard, so inconvenient, is because believing requires us to deny the desires that run through our bones and the hunger for immediate gratification and getting what we want, how we want it, when we want it.

The inconvenience of believing is because we are fighting ourselves, trying to convince ourselves of a hope we cannot see.

But the beauty of the Gospel is that we are not alone in this fight. The victory was already claimed by the resurrection of Christ.

The road to Him is narrow, inconvenient, and tight. It will pressure us, it will challenge us, but also discipline us to remain in pursuit of the only path to true life.

I love Luke 24:5, as the angel says to the women who went back to the tomb on Easter, “Why do you look for the living among the dead?”

Why, my dear friend, do you believe any growth, or new life, will stem from a perspective that the journey with Christ will be convenient in the slightest?

It is not hard because the church requires too much of us, or people think we are silly. It is hard because you made the decision to step out of a lifestyle of death and into one of everlasting life, while still living in a world that has been dead at it’s core since the fall of man.

So as you rationalize a life in pursuit of Jesus, do not seek convenience, seek the only source that can fully satisfy your heart…the only path to life we have. Perhaps the greatest prayer we so often forget to mention is the transforming of our heart, the shifting of our perspective, and the desire to love others more than ourselves.