Christian

Because He First Loved Us

bible, Christian lifestyle, spiritual formation

“The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make His face shine on you and be gracious to you; the Lord turn His face toward you and give you peace.” – Numbers 6:24-26

Devotion is such a strange concept. As we battle pride every day, it is difficult to joyfully claim we want to “devote” ourselves to something unless we know it will be highly successful. The meaning of this term is to give up a great portion of one of our most valuable possessions; time. As difficult as it can be to willingly choose to live devoted to something like the way of Jesus, we live devoted to something everyday whether we intend to or not. What we prioritize, focus on, and spend much time mastering or working at is what we devote our lives to. Maybe not your whole life, but definitely the season of life you are in now.

Pride, however, can create a conflict in our minds as we long to be the dictator of our own life while simultaneously hunger to be a part of something greater than ourselves. To leave a mark that lasts far beyond our last breath.

When I was in 5th grade, I was accepted into a middle school that was focused on marine biology. I was set on that being my future career. But after having to attend a different middle school, I was introduced to a lot of nonprofits. The work that I saw Christian leaders do through running organizations for the benefit of those in need around the world became my everything. I went into high school with the belief I would start the next being faith-based nonprofit of my generation. And when my high school launched a business track in place of our electives, I took that route all the way through senior year. I graduated high school having completed that track alongside an associates degree in organizational management. Then I went to college and was challenged more spiritually than ever before.

After only a year and a half, I had changed my major countless times from intercultural studies, to journalism, to business, to Christian community development, until I finally settled with communication and a concentration in internet and social media.

Growing up, I always knew what I wanted to do. And even when plans changed, it was never on a whim or without thought. I had reasons and dreams outlined behind every decision to change what I wanted to spend the rest of my life doing. But I can’t promise you that I had prayer behind those choices.

I felt the inclination to pursue writing early into college. The creation of this blog really helped me confirm my love for it. But in the back of my mind, I could not fully commit to it. I always had to have a backup plan, and that was evident in my indecisiveness regarding what I was studying.

But after college tested, crumbled, and eventually led me to rebuild my relationship with Jesus, I came to the realization that what I studied was not the dictator of my life. As a lover of knowledge, I had discovered how much I idolized my studies. Not for good grades but rather for the ability to feel prepared for the next step in life. The ability to overcome my great fear of inadequacy. Specifically, inadequacy in what I grew up hearing the world say our “everything” was supposed to be; our career.

I was so very devoted. But not out of joy. More so, out of fear of what would happen if I wasn’t dedicated and disciplined.

Isn’t that strange? I hungered for full control over my future. But I let every second of my younger years be directed by fear.

We as humans were created to worship. To live for something greater. But unfortunately, we are not born with the understanding that what we long for is completely satisfied in Christ. So we grow up spending years and even decades trying to maintain control while we slowly give more and more of ourselves to what we hear everyone tells us means the most. Sometimes that looks like pursuing money through a successful job. Or maybe it looks like finding a partner to quickly marry and build a family with. Or perhaps it looks like obtaining great knowledge through countless degrees, internships, trade schools, etc. And for the Christian desperate to leave a mark in vocational ministry, maybe that looks like building a church overflowing each weekend, spending years overseas on mission, or creating trending worship songs.

Whatever it is that we feel we have been called to spend our lives doing, we must not forget that our devotion first belongs to the Lord. Yes, God gives each of us different talents. But that is not to take first priority over Him.

As I read Numbers 6 this morning, my eyes were opened to the “why” behind a Christian’s devotion.

This chapter begins with the Nazirite vow. This is a commitment an Israelite person could make for a period of time to dedicate themselves wholly to God. There were strict rules to follow with this, and if they were broken, the person would have to restart the process.

Looking at that alone gives us a glimpse of the reality that God is so very holy and our brokenness is not something that we can ignore. We need redemption to be in communion with Him and set apart.

That’s what made the end of this chapter so mesmerizing. It reads, “The Lord said to Moses, ‘Tell Aaron and his sons, ‘This is how you are to bless the Israelites. Say to them: ‘The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make His face shine on you and be gracious to you; the Lord turn His face towards you and give you peace.’ So they will put my name on the Israelites, and I will bless them.'” (v. 22-27)

If you look back, God did not say only to speak this over those under the Nazirite vow. It was for His people, His broken and sinful people.

With the struggle of wanting to make a name for ourselves through a successful family, job, personal life, and even spiritual walk, it can be easy to forget one critical truth we see in this passage.

The blessing is from God because He loves us.

It is solely and completely His heart and decision that we experience any sort of grace or blessing. Our success or talents in life are not what determine our portion of God’s gifts of grace, mercy, or providence.

Our devotion surely matters, but not for the hope in greater benevolence from the Lord. It matters as it is how we can respond deeply in every aspect of our being to the love God has already shown us. What I mean is that true devotion; the giving up of time and resources spiritually, mentally, physically, and emotionally ought to be done out of reaction instead of wishful thinking.

We cannot serve enough, tithe enough, or preach enough to earn God’s love. Nothing we do will ever be enough. Yet the greatest news of all is He loves us still.

He loves us after we fall into sin. He loves us when we were battling doubt. He loves us when we are angry and confused. He loves us when we are burnt out.

He loves us so deeply and abundantly that His blessing is not just breath in our lungs right now but His very Spirit in our hearts. When we respond to the love poured out on the cross by Jesus with repentance of our wrongdoings and acceptance of His redemption, the Lord does not just stand at a distance and promise supervision of our lives. He makes a home in our hearts and in turn, we feel a grace, peace, love, purpose, and belonging any and everywhere.

But one of the toughest parts of reality is that the experience of God’s nearness is not delayed because of Him, but us.

We, with our closed off hearts, cynical mindsets, unexpectant perspectives, and complacent lifestyles are the reason we do not live every breath with confidence of the Lord’s love and longing for communion with us.

Devotion is not what earns us this love, but it is what gives our heart the opportunity to have its walls taken down by the gentle, yet mighty hand of God and allows our minds to be opened to the transformative desires of the Spirit.

My dear friend, how much longer will we live a life chasing the things that will but fade away with our last breath? I have grown weary of striving. Though I am not proud of the years I spent devoted to everything I thought would please the world or even the church, I am overwhelmed with joy that I see the ground beneath me is offered to the Lord as fertile ground now; available and open for whatever He pleases. When we begin devoting ourselves to the One who loved us to death and back, we will open our minds and hearts to a transformation no amount of striving could ever bring. Not by our own power or might, but by His grace and love alone. For that is just who He is.

Thoughts To Consider:

How might God use your unmet expectations to redirect your devotion?

Where in your life have you mistaken activity or works for intimacy with God?

What are you training your heart to love by how you spend your time?

Consider the gentleness of a God who asks for devotion, not to burden you, but to free you.

“The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make His face shine on you and be gracious to you; the Lord turn His face toward you and give you peace.” – Numbers 6:24-26

On Leviticus: Why Peace Seems To Escape Us

bible, christian, spiritual formation

“You must keep the Israelites separate from things that make them unclean, so they will not die in their uncleanliness for defiling my dwelling place, which is among them.” – Leviticus 15:31

For the last 3 and a half years, I could not understand why my most viewed blog was one that was so specific to a current event in 2022.

When I wrote “Elohim Shomri – God As Our Protector In The Wake Of War“, the conflict between Ukraine and Russia had somewhat just begun. This was written with a reference to the story of Joshua and the battle of Jericho. I honestly did not think much would come from it, I mean, after 3.5 years, it has 0 likes and 0 comments…but over 1,000 views. And 681 of those are from this year alone.

I normally do not look that deeply into the stats and I don’t want to make this about numbers, but I could not help but notice that if my blog was viewed at all in a day, that post was typically the reason why.

It intrigued a while back but I couldn’t pinpoint what made it so popular. Then today, while I reading and thinking about what I wish more people realized mattered, it hit me.

Peace.

That blog was about Peace. And I don’t mean just the feeling. I am talk about the One who is the embodiment of it.

It could have been very easy to pick a side and believe that’s what peace would be like. But that’s not Biblical. True peace is not found in a motivational speech, a political statement, or even by overloading ourselves with self-help material. Though sometimes you may get inspiration from those, what humans long for is what we cannot create by our own works.

We have a hole in our hearts and souls that sense the world we live in is broken and needs healing, but no matter how hard we try, nothing lasts. That’s not because peace is impossible. Rather, it’s because we are seeking a thing (or feeling) over a person.

I have been to many churches and I love what a lot of them are doing. But I also grow angry towards some as I recognize a major problem that seems to be so consistent among congregations, yet so ignored.

Perhaps it is ignorance or direct denial, but whatever it is, it is building a barrier between what we as Christian’s are supposed to be focused on. Discipleship is the process of following Christ. But if you were to take a poll in many churches today, unfortunately, we would probably find the majority not serving, not in a small group, inconsistent in their personal quiet time, or having a lack of accountability in their spiritual walk.

I say this not to degrade churches. For I have worked at one and served at 3 others that I would consider a second home. But I cannot deny that there were times I was angry as I served and watched the same people walk in and walk out each Sunday, never seeing them hold a Bible, join a group/service team, or show any outward hunger for God.

As someone who struggled with religiousness when I first became a Christ follower, I don’t want anyone to take what I am saying as “works are what saves you”. For that is not true. But they are evidence of your love for God. And they are the routes we take to make room for God to speak and move in our lives on a daily basis.

Reread that last sentence.

We cannot forget our purpose. Yes, it is to share the Gospel. But first and foremost it is to love our God. And if desire to use the name of Jesus to encourage anyone, we cannot neglect the process of learning His ways. For the Lord’s ways are not the same as ours. We have a sin nature. And what sin is, is anything that goes against God. So if disobedience is in our hearts naturally since the Fall of man, we cannot dare to think we can share God’s love without prioritizing being near to Him in our personal life.

Leviticus, I won’t lie, has been a difficult book to get through. But I found a common theme as I read the end of chapter 15. It says in verse 31, “You must keep the Israelites separate from things that make them unclean, so they will not die in their uncleanliness for defiling my dwelling place, which is among them.“

Now surely, death for uncleanliness may sound a bit harsh. And I always heard that word used to describe God in the Old Testament. But after reading all about these sacrifices and temple regulations, I could not help but see a God so desperate to build a bridge between a sinful, broken people and His Holy, perfect self. He did not do it because He had to, or even because He needed our praise. He made a way in the Old and New Testament because of His love for us.

Yet I look at this modern culture, including myself, and think, “we’d never last in a time like that”. We hunger for immediate satisfaction, a comfortable Sunday service experience, and a convenient personal routine with God. The idea of self-denial, control, and discipline are more reserved for those ambitious for stronger bodies, healthier diets, or a greater financial position. Though those are all good goals, why are Christ followers not the first and most dedicated group of self-discipline people in the world? What better is there to sacrifice for than our Savior?

People long to be better. Most would include “bettering themselves” as a part of their idea of success. But what we often forget is that it takes discipline. And specifically to be like Christ, it takes discipleship.

I cannot count the times I have cried out to God for peace, while neglecting the need to draw near to Him. Leviticus and many other surrounding books are very focused on the law and how to approach God through the temple. His peace and presence are then promised on the other side of the Israelites obedience. And that, I believe, is the part I forget so often.

Yes, Christ made a way for us to connect with the Lord, not needing a temple like the Israelites in Leviticus. But the sacrifice of Jesus did not negate the Holiness of God. For our Lord is still the Lord Most High, the One so perfect and pure. And I fear in an attempt to modernize the Word of God, many today encourage salvation as though it is a “one and done” agreement.

Yet if we read verses 31 again, we might realize His dwelling place was moved from tents to our hearts. So there is no need to “modernize” or “contextualize” the Word of God here as it says His followers ought to remain, “separate from things that make them unclean, so they will not die in their uncleanliness for defiling my dwelling place, which is among them.”

Perhaps if we realized one of the greatest gifts from God is His presence with us now rather than just a heaven waiting for us when we die, we would begin to understand the gravity of discipleship and our need for it. As it is the means to our biggest need: a restored relationship and consistent communion with God.

We could argue all day long, trying to pick sides in this world. But that is not what our souls are desperate for. Being right only fills your pride. It’s being with Peace that restores our broken hopes, wounds, anxieties, and gives us a purpose no one can take away. Not even our own failures.

My dear friend, wholeness is what God longs for you to realize is only found in Him. Our pursuit of peace and contentment can only reach so far in a world so broken. But God’s heart for our redemption could not be more evident in the Old Testament as He placed Himself among us and made a way for our total redemption. We are set apart because of our first love. Not because we are any better than our neighbor. But only because we have come to realize how necessary Jesus is for our every breath. May we stop chasing the idea of peace while ignoring the One it flows out of.

Thoughts To Consider:

Where have you been chasing the feeling of peace instead of seeking the God of peace?

What habits, mindsets, or comforts are you clinging to that keep you from deeper discipleship and true wholeness in Christ?

Do your rhythms in life reflect someone who treasures His presence, or someone surviving on their own?

Consider how your life may change as you acknowledge peace is not discovered, but received in His nearness.

“You must keep the Israelites separate from things that make them unclean, so they will not die in their uncleanliness for defiling my dwelling place, which is among them.” – Leviticus 15:31

God With Us – Our Greatest Promise

bible, Christian lifestyle

“Then the Lord said to Moses, ‘Leave this place, you and the people you brought up out of Egypt, and go up to the land I promised on oath to Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, saying, ‘I will give it to your descendants.’ I will send an angel before you and drive out the Canaanites, Amorites, Hittites, Perizzites, Hivites and Jebusites. Go up to the land flowing with milk and honey. But I will not go with you, because you are a stiff-necked people and I might destroy you on the way.'” – Exodus 33:1-3

Imagine you were just offered all you have ever dreamed of, but it’s going to cost you Everything…

This is the decision the Israelites had to make as they stood in the Wilderness awaiting further direction from the Lord. And technically, they got it. He would send them to the Promise Land, with all He told Abraham about. They would have travel mercies and even Angelic protection from all who were currently in the land. But they would not have God’s nearness.

The Israelites have rebelled again and again against the Lord. And so in this moment, He directs them to continue on, ensuring He would remain faithful to His promise, despite their disobedience. Honestly, considering how quickly they gave up on Him before, their response was surprising. But it was also what was the best decision they could have made.

They mourned. They refused to go on without the nearness of the One who had led them all this way. It wasn’t about the destination, the land, resources, or physical home. It was about the One whom they found belonging in.

So they did not go.

When I think about my dream of becoming an author, I so easily get wrapped up in the process. The research, practice, and editing takes up so much of my time and attention. Though I pray before, during, and after each blog I write, I still find myself battling what I ought to do when the editing time rolls around.

The moment I hit save draft, my mind is flooded with thoughts like, “Should I say this or that? What are better SEO words? Should I change the photo to be something more people would likely stop scrolling for? What about the length? I included all I felt led to write, but is it too long for people’s attention?”

I wish I could tell you that I don’t struggle with the thought of what others think. But I find it more frequent that I do. I want so badly for someone to stumble across these writings and find hope. But I also know for one to find this blog, my marketing strategy must be somewhat decent.

Although there is nothing wrong with good marketing, sometimes, I struggle as it becomes an idol for me. My writing is changed and my pictures take hours to take or choose as the interests of others becomes my main priority.

Yet, that is not the purpose of this. That is not the purpose of me.

During my senior year of high school, I was given a love and passion to write for the sake of making Jesus not only known, but more visible in daily life to the doubters and critics like myself.

For years, that is what I did. Yet recently, quite a few people have asked me about what I have been writing for my future book(s).

I have beaten around the bush each time because the truth is, I have so much research and ideas and yet the Lord has yet to bring me peace over finalizing any of them. Though I was content with that for years, lately it has ached me to not know why. To not even have an idea of a title that feels approved by God.

But praise Jesus for the humble teachings in Scripture.

I have a degree in communication with a concentration on social media and another one in organizational management. For years now, I have worked for different companies in social media management and marketing. So, you would think I would know something about how to get this blog out there. In fact, in the first 2 years of all this, I think I actually did pretty well. But now, I feel little to no inclination to do so.

Not because I feel unmotivated or lazy. But rather, I feel God has drawn my attention elsewhere. And for good reason. In society today, there is a great emphasis on advertising the moment a talent is discovered. But I fear that should not always be the case. One of the things I love about some musicians, is that you will hear their latest album, and then never hear a word from them for months or even years. But when the next album is released, it is incredibly beautiful. Especially faith-based artists, their lyrics tend to reveal an amazing spiritual journey compared to the last album they let out.

I feel like in this moment, in the Wilderness, the Israelites sort of felt this way. Their dreams were at their fingertips. And they had the path to get there. But their heart knew what it desired most and their soul grieved for the only true source of life and love. So they stayed in the nearness of the Lord.

Their decision was then blessed as their spokesman, Moses, received word from the Lord, “My presence will go with you, and I will give you rest.” (v. 15).

What a moment of awe. I am sure there were some nervous and doubtful hearts in the Israelite crowd that looked towards the Promise Land once more and let a few tears trickle down their cheek as they put their last handful of hope in this God. Not that He would lead them down an easy path. But hope in His presence being far more worthy than any ground they could ever call their own.

And in response to their submission and trust, the Lord not only promised His faithfulness in the Abrahamic covenant (getting them to the Promise Land), but He also promised His nearness to them in every step alongside a beautiful thing called rest.

A restless mind is not a pleasant one. To constantly be unsure of the security of one’s love or reliability is quite a difficult way to live. But the Lord promises Moses and Israel that, with Him, there does not have to be any fear that He will abandon, fail, or manipulate them on their journey.

As I sit here, only feeling peace to continue my broad research and write blogs every few weeks, I fight the temptation to take the blessing over the Giver. And though I may some knowledge on how to build my own path to my hearts longings, it all fades away as I remember the worth of Christ over everything else.

So I do not force books or blogs because the world says I ought to for my own glory. But instead, I take the longer route for it is where my God is saying He will go with me. What greater promise could I have than that?

My dear friend, the journey itself was never promised to be easy. The fact that rest is given shows us that there are trials to be expected, yet no need to drown in fear, hopelessness, or anxiousness. Despite the fleeting treasures this world claims you need, as Christ followers, may we recognize that the presence of the Lord and the gifts He gives us are different. May we never lose sight of our true Everything, even for everything else.

Thoughts To Consider:

Is there a dream you feel God gave you that you struggle to have patience for? Why?

Is it the opinions of others, the feeling of failure, the fear of being behind, or something else that pulls you from putting all your trust in God’s timing?

Do you make time to simply hear from God, even if you feel He may be saying something you don’t want to hear?

Consider the beauty you could unravel instead of discouragement when you begin trusting God’s presence is worth giving up your expectations.

“Then the Lord said to Moses, ‘Leave this place, you and the people you brought up out of Egypt, and go up to the land I promised on oath to Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, saying, ‘I will give it to your descendants.’ I will send an angel before you and drive out the Canaanites, Amorites, Hittites, Perizzites, Hivites and Jebusites. Go up to the land flowing with milk and honey. But I will not go with you, because you are a stiff-necked people and I might destroy you on the way.'” – Exodus 33:1-3

The Presence Our Soul Calls Home

bible, christian, prayer

“Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the Lord will bring you today. The Egyptians you see today you will never see again. The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.” – Exodus 14:13-14

Many say, “Home is where the heart is.” And all my life, I agreed. But recently I had been thinking and I would say, home is not just where our heart is. It is where the Father is.

I have been living on my own now for nearly two months. And just last week, I left work early on Friday so that I could fly…home.

Not where my mailing address is or the place I pay rent for. But where I found Jesus and where all those who pushed me to Him, are still living. It’s the place my parents are. My grandma is. And the place I attended every Sunday when I lived in the area. Home. At least for me, is not just a person. Or a building. It’s not even the town, for that has changed so much in just the last 2 months. Home is where God built relationships that His glory is evidently moving through.

Yes, my hometown will always be a little city in Florida. But my home is far greater than the streets you can drive on. It is the people who make up the body of Christ that have pushed me to know Him myself.

There is a difference between the places we spend time in and the people who truly point us to Christ.

For instance, I have driven by my high school many times since graduating. Even though I know the campus like the back of my hand, it no longer feels like home. But when I reach out to the teachers who invested in me, it is as if I never aged. I can still tell them every ounce of drama in my life and feel confident they will respond with love, support, and wisdom.

Considering that, one of the things I reflected on before moving was that perhaps I was searching for the wrong thing. I thought if I drove on new roads and had different places to call “the local spots”, that I would be happy.

Yet here I am. Driving on these magical new roads (that have far too many potholes) and slowly collecting the names of coffee shops and book stores to become a regular at. But I still cannot truly say those are the reasons this place is “home” to me. Not I am not claiming it is not. Rather, I am suggesting this place I just moved to, though on a much smaller scale, feels at home too.

And it’s because the Lord is here. He is in the new place I frequent for Sunday sermons, Bible study, and serving at youth. He is in the friendships I am making at work that reflect His love for us. And He is very much in the apartment that has been anointed in prayer and worship by my mother and I.

Home has become so much more than a building. Or a room. It has been beyond a blessing to realize that my home is in so many places as my Heavenly Father has lead me to great relationships and places where His name is praised in song and service.

In Exodus 14, the Israelites face a terrifying sight. After decades of slavery, they had finally been free. Or at least it seemed so. Starting in verse 10, we see the Egyptians hunting the Israelites down. And as they looked at this rough army and turned to see they were but pressed against water, they cried out to Moses, “Was it because there were no graves in Egypt that you brought us to the desert to die? What have you done to us by bringing us out of Egypt? Didn’t we say to you in Egypt, ‘Leave us alone; let us serve the Egyptians’? It would have been better for us to serve the Egyptians than to die in the desert!“

They were scared. They were not sure what God’s plan was, and so they began regretting where they came and who they followed.

But praise God as His heart is expressed through Moses as he replies, “Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the Lord will bring you today. The Egyptians you see today you will never see again. The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.“

Moses wanted to desperately for the Israelites to see the security they had in God. That the houses they lived in, the places they ate, and the streets they walked on were not their “home” just because they slept and worked there. They had a place designed for them beyond their comprehension. But they refused to trust the giver of that home. So they scrambled and pleaded for what they felt comfortable in. Not because it was good for them, but because it was all they had known.

How often do we flee from things because they are not easy? Or maybe we just don’t like change. I believe some, if you are like myself, want so desperately to hold onto things we were not even designed to prioritize.

The Israelites, fresh out of slavery, in the face of a new form of adversity, were willing to forgive and forget what they endured so that they wouldn’t walk into the “unknown” with God.

Shortly after their panic, God did one of the most incredible and popular events recorded in Scripture; He split the Red Sea. He made a way when there was none. But in doing so, He led them to the wilderness.

The wilderness is the place the Israelites resided for 40 or so years following that. All in route to the “Promised Land”. The place in which the Lord said they would populate and call their own.

I fear too often we see this as just a great representation of a “waiting season”. But may we recognize the revelation and nearness the Lord brought to His people during this time. His Angel was before them and He spoke so passionately to them that they might have come to understand the most valuable thing they could attain was not getting out Egypt, Manna, witnessing miracles, or even reaching the Promised Land. No, the most incredible thing they received was the opportunity to connect with God. The God who saw their flaws and rebellion and still chose to love. The God who stood between them and their enemies when they had no faith in Him. So much happened in those 40 years, but if we don’t recognize that the biggest blessing wasn’t the ending, but the belonging that God gave them the ability to sense even in the wilderness, we will live our lives with the belief that Home has more to do with land, buildings, or specific people rather than Jesus Himself.

My dear friend, your home is not this earth. As one who loves to travel, but suffers from homesickness within 3 or so days, I find that even in the room I spent my teenage years decorating in the most comforting way, a lot of times, I grieved for what I could not see. I longed for God and when I could not seem to understand what He was doing, I felt more homesick than ever.

I am astonished daily at the fact that I am not booking a flight to Florida every weekend. But after much thought, it is so clear that despite leaving everything and everyone that meant the most to me, I am okay still because the One who is greater than all is the One who is walking with me here, now.

May you have peace and a sense of belonging in the family of Christ whether you feel like the Israelites in Egypt, at the shore of the Red Sea, in the wilderness with decades to go, or are rejoicing in the Promise Land God led you to. Your home is more than where your heart is. Because unfortunately, sometimes God doesn’t have the throne of our hearts. But that does not change the deep desire your soul has for His communion.

Home is where the Father is, and may we rejoice in that grace.

Thoughts to Consider:

Where have you been tempted to find “home” apart from God’s presence?

What might change in your perspective if you saw your home not as a destination, but as communion with the Father?

How has Jesus met you in unexpected places and made them feel like home?

Consider the difference in your outlook on life and your current season if you lived out the belonging God wants you to find in Him.

“Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the Lord will bring you today. The Egyptians you see today you will never see again. The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.” – Exodus 14:13-14

When Fear Meets the Table of Grace

bible, christian, prayer

“Deeply moved at the sight of his brother, Joseph hurried out and looked for a place to weep.” – Genesis 43:30

Every time I read the story of Joseph, God amazes me. But it was not until a few days ago that I saw the significance of this table scene.

If you haven’t read his story, I highly recommend doing that now or directly after reading this. It begins in chapter 37 and runs until chapter 45.

In Genesis 43, Joseph – who had been sold as a slave by his brothers 20 years prior, but is now 2nd in command of Egypt – has yet to reveal himself to his own family.

After coming to Egypt a second time for food, his brothers stood before him, offering gifts and the best products of their land out of fear. They thought their offerings would be enough to please him and forgive them for taking the money they should’ve paid in return for food (however, it was Joseph who ordered the money be given back to them).

They brought their best before Joseph and bowed in fear. But not a single one of them noticed who he was.

I would say that is crazy to not be able to recognize someone like your own brother, as mine looks pretty similar to how he did nearly 20 years ago. But then I think of how often that happens with us and God.

When We Fail to Recognize Him

How often we commit to Christ, claiming we are fascinated by His heart and character. Yet just days, weeks, or months later, we ignore His voice, choose distractions over time with Him, or watch Him do a miracle just to bury its beauty beneath an “I deserved that” mentality.

Since when does God owe us anything? And why is it that we believe we can maintain a “Christ-like lifestyle” without knowing Him?

Their perspective of Joseph was a man who had the power to kill them or put them in jail, and potentially would. Yet in verse 30 of chapter 43, we see him in a different way as it says, “Deeply moved at the sight of His brother, Joseph hurried out and looked for a place to weep. He went to his private room and wept there.”

The sight of them near him alone brought him to tears. Surely it was no light cry if he had to run away. Here was a man in one of the most successful countries during a famine, with riches and all. But that’s not what he wanted. He wanted his family. He wanted those who should have known him, despite their betrayal decades ago.

Sometimes, I find myself still counting my works in hopes that the Lord will show me favor in my prayers and dreams. Yet if I truly recognized who Christ was and remembered His heart, I would see that none of what I offer is what brings Him to tears. As He invites me to commune with Him, to have a seat of belonging at His table, He shows so clearly that He just wants us. His family. We, humans, who betray Him daily. We are who He died for.

This is such a moving scene because at first, the brothers came carrying fear yet were met with nothing but love. They were invited to feast with Joseph and even still, he was only a stranger to them.

Though Joseph could have revealed himself then, or punished them for their ignorance, he did not. Instead, they enjoyed the feast together.

Let’s pause and unpack that moment for a second. Just after Joseph walks back into the room and says, “Serve the food.”

“They served him by himself, the brothers by themselves, and the Egyptians who ate with him by themselves, because Egyptians could not eat with Hebrews, for that is detestable to Egyptians. 33 The men had been seated before him in the order of their ages, from the firstborn to the youngest; and they looked at each other in astonishment. 34 When portions were served to them from Joseph’s table, Benjamin’s portion was five times as much as anyone else’s. So they feasted and drank freely with him.” – Gen. 43:32-34

They began with a divide. Though not of just Egyptians and Hebrews, but one where Joseph was set apart from both crowds. This, however, did not mean that the food was different. But instead, the brothers were fed from Joseph’s table. What he offered them was an abundance despite there being 11 of them. They then enjoyed the meal together…freely.

Invited to Sit Freely With Christ

I could not help but see the resemblance to moments we have with Jesus. The only One worthy of everything and everyone, calls us to His table. And from there, though He is set apart from us because of His Holiness, He made a way for us to commune with Him. He fed us His portion and to this day, we have not seen it run out. Because of the sacrifice Christ made for us, we can eat together with Him freely.

Not because we deserve it. Not because redemption is easy. And definitely not because we were good enough. It was only by His love and grace.

My dear friend, Christ paid everything for your freedom. And despite the fear and doubt you may approach Him with, He is the embodiment of peace, forgiveness, and love. You can cease the striving of trying to offer “enough” to Him. For that is not what He desires. Our Lord stands before us, inviting us to be with Him. Even when we don’t realize who He is or the significance of what He has done. He wants our heart, for He already poured out His over us.

Thoughts to Consider:

What characteristic of God are you struggling to believe?

How can you practically abide in Christ so that you would not encounter Him and feel as though you are but strangers?

What would it change in your life today if you truly believed that Jesus just wants you at His table?

Meditate on this scripture. Consider the depth of Jesus’ love for you as you read of Joseph’s for his brothers.

“Deeply moved at the sight of his brother, Joseph hurried out and looked for a place to weep.” – Genesis 43:30