affirmation

Daily Death For Eternal Life

bible, Christian lifestyle, encouragement

“Relying on God has to begin all over again every day as if nothing had yet been done.” – C. S. Lewis

I think the mind can often draw us towards two extreme ways of thinking. Either we fall into a place where we see ourselves as god, or we see the things, people, and opinions around us as god. Both, despite sounding like polar opposites, are ultimately places of pride.

Whether we feel inferior or superior in the world we live in, we are constantly being pulled away from the one place we belong, and in turn, tempted to rely on anything BUT God.

I think what makes the idea of living in humble confidence under God so difficult to wrap our minds around completely is because we are called to be surrendered, and in result, raised up and set apart.

When I stumbled across this quote by C.S Lewis, I was honestly not sure how to approach it.

Not having the original context, I struggled to understand if it we ought to take this as a freedom call, from the shame and bondage of sin from our past that we are attacked by, or perhaps, it is meant to be a daily call of repentance from the pride we are tempted to lean into as we long for ultimate control of our lives.

Though I feel both could be broken down, I am going to run with the latter interpretation.

I have heard the saying “rejoice, mercies are new every morning!” as Lamentations 3:22-23 suggest. But lately I have been wondering why we ought to rest in that so much.

Honestly, I have come to notice that I am quite the cautious believer. I don’t take pride in the lack of child-like faith I have, but it is the way my mind works. So, I rather challenge the lies in my head and be sure of truth than try to manipulate myself when I know my brain requires a little more time to catch up to my heart.

So as this verse had been running through my head over the last few weeks, I realized it wasn’t because I felt inspired in my faith by it…no, unfortunately, I actually felt aggravated.

Mercy from God? Okay, I saw that displayed on the cross. Understandable. But NEW mercies. Every. Single. Day? Trying to believe that stirred nothing but guilt. I began feeling the weight of inadequacy, and because of that, a lack of faith that the verse actually included me among those who God desired to forgive.

But then I saw this quote from C.S Lewis that rocked everything.

“Relying on God has to begin all over again every day as if nothing had yet been done.”

God provides new mercies every morning because He knew we would need it.

Track with me here…

Our heart longs for what only God provides. But because of our sin-nature of pride and hunger for immediate satisfaction, we sacrifice God’s plans for our own. We may not notice at first, but that decision means that we sacrifice life for death.

Death is existence apart from God. In a just court, we would be ruled guilty of rejecting Him and in turn, rightfully condemned.

Oh but what a loving God we serve…

Paving a way to be free from the ruling of death, by the sacrifice of Jesus, God revealed His grace on the cross.

But He knew that wouldn’t mean perfection for our future, nor did He expect it to on this side of Heaven.

He knew, that because of our brokenness, there would be times where we would still choose ourselves over Him.

He knew, that even though we love Him, we would cave under the temptation to reject Him.

And He knew, that no matter how hard we tried, we would never be strong enough to live the life He called us to alone.

So God gives new mercies…every single morning. Why? Because He knew we would experience new temptations…every single morning.

When C.S Lewis calls us to rely on Jesus as if nothing had yet been done, I realize it is a call to open our eyes to the reality of the war going on every single day.

Every day we are given the choice of life or death. Truth or lies. Forgiveness or bitterness. Love or shame. Trust or control.

Spiritual warfare is not just in big trials. It is unfortunately the ground our hearts reside in until we see Heaven.

My dear friend, you have your choice in battle. You have a loving God who wants to protect, nourish, and redeem you in this war, for He has already claimed victory.

But the choice is yours. Every. Single. Day.

May we never get complacent in our relationship with Jesus. May we strive, for nothing else, but to be closer to Him day by day. And with all my heart, I pray that we may rejoice in His mercies being new every morning…for if He held back for even just one day, we would never see the glory of true life.

So, will you make relying on God a daily act of surrender?

at a loss.

bible, christian, Christian lifestyle, easter, encouragement, lifestyle, prayer, Worship

I don’t really want to write anything right now. Like if I could hide away in my room for the next few years, or maybe decades, I totally would.

I write this blog on Monday, March 27th, 2023. Four days before I put down my best friend. My baby. My beloved 14 year old pekingese, Macho. I didn’t want to write anything because I didn’t want anyone to ask about him or ask how I am doing because it will just make me feel worse. But for some aggravating reason, God keeps weighing this post on my mind. And yes, I say aggravating because I REALLY don’t want to think about it, much less write and post about it. But maybe God wants to speak to someone besides me, or maybe it is just for me to look back on as the encouragement I may desperately need in the coming weeks. I guess we shall see.

One thing a lot of people don’t know about me is that I struggle a lot with being joyful. But recently, when I would think about what I have to do in four days, God has been reminding me that there is ALWAYS good to find. Crazy, I know. Believe me, He knows I think it is absolutely insane to see any glimpse of goodness in this time. But He persisted with this promise every time I would try to negotiate Him giving Macho 20 more years of life in exchange for literally anything I could give up. In all honesty, it was kind of annoying. As I said, I struggle with being joyful quite a bit. Not because I can’t see it, but because after so many disappointments in my life, I tend to not even try to look.

But that’s just it. If Jesus, in all His glory, is standing 1 foot away from me, but I keep my eyes and ears closed in the name of “protecting my heart from another disappointment”, it is not His fault that I cannot see His goodness.

I heard this song by Hannah McClure called “Always good”. I love that song…usually. But when I was thinking about what is about to happen, all the song did was make me mad. How can God ALWAYS be good, or turn things for good, if things like this have to happen? Like why even exhaust myself trying to see this glimpse of glory if it is only a result of the massive storm of pain?

Then my mind reminded my heart of this: John 3:16. Genesis 37. Genesis 6-9. Ruth. Daniel 3. and so on.

In each and every one of those stories, there was a devastating or super scary experience or event that happened just before God revealed exactly where His goodness had been the whole time. And yes, Jesus is included in the list. God Himself, lost His Son. Not by natural death, but by sacrifice because He knew it was the most loving expression anyone could do.

Ironically, Easter is in just a few weeks. But three days before that is a day that should be very dark. It’s the day Jesus died. The day that Heaven went silent, in a mixture of mourning and anticipation for the promise of the coming goodness. We call it Good Friday only because we can testify of the genuine goodness that followed that devastating event.

But what about times like now? Where the only thing in sight is the devastation. The loss. The event that honestly seems impossible to be turned in any other direction besides depressing.

My dear friend, if those are your thoughts, I am right there with you. But I have learned some stuff recently. And although I am slow to wanting to feel gratitude towards anything right now, I have to say, I believe God has prepared me for this moment with snippets of truth He brought me through the blessing of others over the last few months:

Joy is a choice. You can be joyful without feeling happy. It is okay to be sad, God designed us with emotions, but it is not okay to let the sadness be louder than the truth from the voice of the Spirit. The mind can know truth without the heart believing it. In this case, choosing to surrender your heart to God even when it feels pointless is your most important task. And lastly, God is ALWAYS good. His plans are good and beautiful regardless of the mess you feel entangled in.

Again I say, joy, and honestly, experiencing anything pertaining to the character of God, IS. A. CHOICE.

It is a choice that only you can make. And it is a choice that requires discipline over motivation. Wisdom over feelings. And faith over sight.

This is definitely not the first time I have felt this way about life and the goodness of God and honestly, I am pretty sure it is no where near the last time. But that is just it. Life is a cycle of ups and downs, not because God’s goodness changes, but because we fail to choose consistent faith in who He is.

Like a roller coaster about to make it’s big drop, we close our eyes in fear of what lies ahead. We scream in chaos because we are overwhelmed by the experience. But friend, the longer you close your eyes and the louder you scream, the more time you will spend shutting out the potential goodness Jesus want’s to show you and the less you will hear the voice of truth and peace that the Spirit wants to whisper to you.

Dear tender-hearted reader…and future me, I know goodness is the last thing you want someone to tell you to “try to see”. I know numbing emotions, sulking, or distracting yourself may seem a lot more intriguing. But worldly solutions were not meant to heal a heart designed and crafted in Heaven. Only our gracious, and yes, very good, Creator can properly handle that beautiful, yet broken heart in a way that will last.

Be honest in your pain. But do not misplace your desperation when searching for healing. You belong to God. And oh boy, is there so much great freedom in that.

Choose to believe the fruit will one day bloom from your soil that seems to only be getting tilled right now.

So…where do I see the goodness in losing my dog? Well, the truth is, I don’t. But perhaps the glory of this moment will come to life after my own. Perhaps the goodness was meant to be seen in the life he lived. Or perhaps it is in the fact that he no longer has to suffer. Whatever it is, wherever it is, does not change the truth that it is somewhere. So may worship continue according to the truth I know, as God is still always good, even when I can’t see it.

In The Waiting – resting on the faithfulness of God when the future is unclear

christian, encouragement, lifestyle

“Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised, is faithful.”

-Hebrews 10:23

What I have come to realize is that you can make your vision board, build new disciplines, and focus all of your attention on the thing you are passionate about. But if it is not in God’s timing for you to be at a specific point in life, no amount of work can push you past His sovereignty.

You may meet people, get jobs, or get great opportunities through your hard work, but you know when it is not the door you have been praying God opens. Sometimes, or maybe if you are like me, a LOT of the time, the goal we seek to reach is often standing at the end of a long marathon of everyone’s favorite thing…waiting.

Believe me, I have been there. And in all honesty, I am still so far from the end of that great marathon I believe God is walking me through. Of course there are many blessings God reveals along the way. But what I speak of now is the period of time between the big dream and the actual experience.

Normally, my way of coping my anxiety and lost hope in these moments is through reminding myself that God is a God of seasons. And if I really feel like He is calling me to something, I believe eventually the flowers will bloom again. But lately, this strategy has been having a hard time giving me lasting peace. And thankfully, God seemed to have noticed because just the other day, He smacked me with a mountain of truth that left me in complete awe.

“I will believe I can know peace without knowing what comes next.” – Morgan Harper Nichols.

Maybe this quote doesn’t quite knock your socks off. But after enduring what has felt like forever of door after door shutting in my face, leaving me with nothing but confusion and growing insecurities, this hit deep. And just before I heard this quote, this one topic kept coming up around me: We cannot afford to live without being in awestruck wonder of God. Every. Single. Day.

But in order to capture the depth of that thought, we must first understand the verse above. This one verse speaks in three different tenses.

“Let us hold fast…” is in present tense. It is an instruction for what to do right now with the hope that God gives. “He who promised” is in future tense. Pointing to the statements of power and experience that have yet to be revealed in fullness. It is also offering the place where you find the hope it previously directs you to “hold fast” to. Lastly, “is faithful” is in past tense. This tells how the glory of God has already been expressed and has been proven credible.

But what truly drove me to this verse was the order in which it was written. It provided wisdom for the present and a peace for the future by reminding you of the past.

As the creator of time, God knows how it effects us. He knows that it grows us, but also limits us. With time being so powerful over our mortality, isn’t it such a blessing that God reveals Himself to be even more powerful over time? I would argue that although the present and future take up a large part of our concerns, it is often the past that drives our anxiety because we do not want the bad moments to find their way into impacting our limited future. Maybe you use the past as a growth opportunity or maybe you cannot seem to get over it. Regardless, its authority in our lives is undoubtedly influential.

What is truly beautiful is how God reveals Himself to be present in all 3 tenses, but it is the past that He uses to build our peace. The past is the only tense that will remain consistent. Nothing you do now or in the future will effect what has already happened.

Sound familiar? I am immediately reminded of the picture of God’s love. Because of what Jesus has done on the cross in the past, my present and future are covered in His grace because regardless of the changing seasons, His love was portrayed on Calvary and nothing I do can change what has already happened.

This my dear friend, is why reflecting on how you are left in awestruck wonder of God every single day is so critical to how you handle your future. As you force your eyes to seek God’s glory, regardless of your uncertain future and confusing present, you will still have a peace to abide in.

I don’t know if you caught it, but the quote from Nichols above is actually a statement in which she is aiming to discipline herself to, not a statement of how she naturally is. If you want to be at peace even when the next step in life is as foggy as can be, you need to steward your thoughts towards that which reminds you of the glory of God.

Waiting is hard. I am not going to pretend like it will be an exciting experience even after you build a God-glorifying mindset. But there will be a difference when you begin prioritizing a perspective reflecting God’s own. That invisible yet monumental feeling of being content in your present and hopeful in your future is captured in 5 little letters; peace. The peace of God is what allows us to focus on every moment and it’s great potential as anxiety bows and striving ceases.

I am sorry if you have been waiting for something for a long time. I really am, but acknowledging the burden of waiting on our own strength is the first step towards a peaceful freedom. So do not lose hope my friend because the faithfulness of the One you find your peace in has never and will never change. It is not temporary happiness nor numbing despair that will make your waiting season reveal it’s great purpose. I pray that the comfort of Christ meets you where you are in that long, long marathon so that the journey towards the finish line may become a part of the faithfulness you can look back on in the future.

Rest in His peace because He who promised is faithful indeed!

It’s LOVE Day!

Christian lifestyle

“for God so LOVED the world, that He gave His one and only begotten Son that whosoever believes in Him shall not perish but have everlasting life.” – John 3:16

It’s Valentines Day! This day, I feel, has a mixed response from many. Some are over joyed to spend the day with their significant other. Some simply go about the day just as any other. Some celebrate with their family or friends. And some grieve as they remember their lost loved ones.

I realize the sensitivity of this day is the same as many other holidays dedicated to celebrating certain people. But as I contemplated the way in which one could be happy on this day regardless of their circumstance, I had a thought.

What if we disciplined ourselves to express TRUE love to absolutely everyone we encounter this day?

The kind of love that is patient, forgiving, selfless, encouraging, comforting, etc. What kind of transformation would the lives of those around you have if you showed them a glimpse of the most real love?

I am sure you have heard people say “you should treat your significant other like its Valentine’s Day everyday” or “you should show Gods love everyday”. But the reality is, we are not perfect. There are days where expressing the kind of patient and unconditional love we are commanded to share is the LAST thing we want to do. Not to say that as an excuse, I am simply pointing out the flaw of being human.

So what if instead, we challenged ourselves REALLY hard to do it today?

I believe the impact that the Holy Spirit on our heart always results in change. When a person truly acknowledges the love of Christ, there is no reason they should remain just as they were before. With that being true, if we express that same love that Christ showed us, even for just one day, should it not lead to change and a renewal of the heart?

My dear friend, whether you are excited, sad, or neutral about Valentine’s Day, the love God has for you remains consistent. The comfort and wholeness that He gives you does not change based on your circumstances.

The greatest expression of love is revealed in the verse above. So when you wake up today and think about the heart posture you will have as you pass everyone celebrating this beautiful thing called love, think about the impact you could have if you let yourself be powered by the same love God revealed on the cross.

The result of God’s love brought life. I pray you not only feel that today but work your hardest to share it with others. You never know how much it could mean to the strangers you encounter today.

God, Turn It Around

Christian lifestyle, encouragement

“For though we walk in the flesh, we are not waging war according to the flesh. For the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh but have divine power to destroy strongholds. We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ, being ready to punish every disobedience, when your obedience is complete.”

2 Corinthians 10:3-6

In complete honesty, this week has been one of the most frustrating weeks in a long time. With my anxiety through the roof and getting extremely tempted to resort back to numbing my emotions, this section of scripture became more real to me than ever before.

Maybe you’re an overthinker. Or perhaps a perfectionist in a severely imperfect situation. Or maybe you are just stuck on the fence with your mind and heart telling you two completely different things. This world is flooded with battles far beyond the physical realm. And I am sorry to tell you my dear friend, but you are not and you will never be strong enough on your own to win them over. But I do have a life-giving secret to tell you.

Where you let go, God is let in.

There is a reason behind the excitement of the persecuted disciples in scripture. I am sure it was not in their hopes to be imprisoned or scolded by society for Christ’s sake. But they endured and continued to follow where the Lord lead them, even if it was to their enemies. Not because they were naive, but because they knew what mattered more than anything. They knew that before their feelings came the desperate need for restoration of the soul in themselves and those around them. The emotions that their flesh probably attempted to magnify had to be handled with deep consideration in their pursuit of Christ.

When the enemy cannot pull you to directly worship him, he hides himself in the unsteady emotions and feelings that make us push away, lose trust, or feel too ashamed to get closer to Jesus. That is all it is. A mission to focus your heart on anything besides the truth of Christ. But thank heavens for a God who pursues us even more.

The passage of scripture above talks about how the weapons in which a follower of Christ acquires through the building of their faith has the divine power to demolish strongholds and pretensions (claims) against what God says and who He is. Reread that. With a faith set on an undefeatble God, nothing against Him or the peace, hope, love, and purpose He instills in us will prevail. Now remember when I said you will never have the strength to claim victory over the attacks of the enemy on your own? That’s just it. You don’t have to do it on your own. When you set your heart and trust in the God who even death bows to, there is not a worry in the world about your inadequate strength. Jesus is will carry you.

This may be silly, but like a snapping turtle stuck in the road because the curb between him and the lake is too high to climb, he must stop snapping at the good fellow trying to pick him up and over to safety or he will remain behind that stronghold forever. My dear friend, it is not good for your soul to worship Jesus on Sundays and then withhold the other 6 days from Him. If you desire to have a chance against the spiritual warfare over your heart, you must let go and let God in.

What I realized lately is how badly it is my own pride and emotions that prevent me from experiencing the fullness of the Holy Spirit. In my shame and anxiety, I quiet the voice of God and let my heart make it’s bed among the depths of the weary as if I am sparing God from being disappointed. But that could not be more wrong.

This scripture above emphasizes the dire need to gently, but boldly take hold of the unsteady emotions the enemy shouts in our times of trouble. In fact, it goes so far to say that we MUST take captive of those thoughts and claims against the truth of God and FORCE them to become obedient to Him. I say gently because I never want to undermine the power and authentic effects of our emotions. But I follow it with boldness because though our emotions are real, they are meant to be healed by God, not magnified and empowered by the enemy and flesh. We have to boldly trust and build a confidence in the goodness of God and in His ability to turn things around for His glory.

There is a song that I believe reflects the transparency of spiritual warfare between our soul and mind. I usually bring up Psalm 42 and 43 where the writer portrays the reality of a conflicting heart and soul but as I was writing this, the song “Spirit Lead Me” by Influence Music and Michael Ketterer came on and I thought it perfectly captured the picture of what a life of taking ones thoughts and feelings captive and making them obedient to Christ actually looks like. The lyrics read:

“And even in suffering, I have to believe it

If You say, “It’s wrong, ” then I’ll say, “No”
If You say “Release, ” I’m letting go
If You’re in it with me, I’ll begin
And when You say to jump, I’m diving in
If You say, “Be still, ” then I will wait
If You say to trust, I will obey
I don’t wanna follow my own ways
I’m done chasing feelings, Spirit lead me”

This process is not an easy one. There will be nights where you have to keep yourself from playing that one sad playlist that you know will make you become numb again because you know that being dormant will never produce any good fruit. There will be days where you have to force yourself to get out of bed and attend that church service when coming before God as broken as you feel is that LAST thing you want to do. And there will be times where you have to repeat the same Bible verse over and over just so that your mind does not mistake your hopelessness for truth.

Oh dear Christian, the life God calls us to is not because He needs our praise. Rather, He longs to reveal His love for us even amidst this broken world. May you stand confident in His power and will. And may the emotions you feel become renewed and brought to life as you live in obedience. I am a proud witness of the faithfulness of God and I pray in the next moment you feel the weight of the warfare between your own heart and soul, you are reminded of who already claimed victory over the grave. I pray with my whole heart that you seek desperately to witness God turn it all around.