spiritual formation

On Materialism – Wage the War

bible, christian, spiritual formation

Jesus looked at him and loved him. “One thing you lack,” he said. “Go, sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.” – Mark 10:21

There I was, leaving another store with more unnecessary purchases. As I was walking to my car, struggling to get my keys while holding this big shopping bag, a man walked up to me.

“Excuse me, do you have any spare change?” he asked.

As I looked up at him, my mouth said what it had learned to do over the years when strangers would come near. I immediately blurted out, “I’m sorry, I don’t.”

As I looked him in his light blue eyes, with a face revealing slight discouragement, he said, “That’s okay ma’am. I am sorry to have bothered you.” Then he walked away.

I got in my car and just sat there for a moment then realized I had $5 cash in my wallet. But when I looked back to find him, he was gone.

That was the day after Black Friday. A day where thousands across the country, including myself, woke up at ungodly hours to bombard stores for their “irresistible” deals on items we, or the people we are buying them for, will probably forget about in 6 months to a year.

On a daily basis, we see deals, advertisements, promo videos, and influencers tell us about all of the things we “need”. That, until we buy them, we won’t be happy or on trend. These voices we feed ourselves with overtime create a hunger for more. For more material things that we think will bring feelings they cannot actually sustain. Feelings like joy, purpose, belonging, or contentment.

Now, those types of feelings that our hearts long for are good. For those are what we are designed to experience. But the material-based propaganda we see all over social media, websites, commercials, and on billboards are not the means to fulfillment in those desires.

Within the last two weeks, the story of the rich man in Mark 10 has been one I heard in a book, at church, and on a podcast. I am in no way close to rich, but I must admit this story has repetitively convicted me over the recent days.

In Mark 10:17, we see a man run up the Jesus, falling at his feet and begging for the answer to a question I feel we all ask at some point in our lives, “What must I do to inherit eternal life?”

Jesus could have answered in so many different ways knowing the sinful nature this man had. But out of intention and love (v. 21) He told him he lacks just one thing. His tight grip on his possessions and his dependency on them for his identity, security, and purpose were barriers between him and Christ that only he could make the decision to move.

“Go”, Jesus said, “sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.” (v. 21).

Was Jesus claiming wealth is bad? Certainly not. But having it as an idol is.

I want to dive into this response more deeply. We see that the man’s heart was troubled at the thought of giving up all he had. Before we judge him, having that be the first interaction with the One everyone in town was calling a “Savior” would have left me baffled as well. Honestly, I still would be shaken at the thought of having to give up everything I own now.

But instead of questions, this man just left sad and with a fallen face. The outcome of his decision wasn’t stated, but surely it is clear that selling all his things and following Jesus was too much to commit to at the moment.

That brings us to the second portion of the statement. So the purpose of Christ’s call to leave behind the idol of wealth was because the throne of our life cannot be filled with two things. Jesus will not share the title of “Lord” in your heart. And rightly so.

But I want to highlight that the selling of possessions was not the path to eternal life. How do we know? Because Jesus didn’t end on that note. That was simply to clear the priority position in his life, that he may now focus completely on the true God, the path to what his heart so desperately sought out.

“Then come, follow me.” (v.21)

So very simple in words, yet incredibly difficult and serious in action.

There is reason for that.

We were created for a life in unity with a loving, perfect God. With that comes a hearts longing for things like hope, purpose, sense of belonging, joy, and fulfillment. Yet because we live in a world that rejects God, we grow up believing we must strive to reproduce what we think will satisfy our desires. But none of it can.

The rich man asked Jesus one question and Jesus responded clearly and straightforward. Selling his possessions and giving to those God loves (all people), is what Jesus promised produces treasure in Heaven…but not life. Following Christ is the only path to inherit eternal life.

I believe John Mark Comer explained this concept very well as he states in one of his books:

“If you’re not on board with Jesus’ view of money, it could be that you, like many Christians in the West (myself included until quite recently and with frequent relapses), don’t actually believe the gospel of the kingdom – the good news that the life you’ve always wanted is fully available to you right where you are through Jesus. Through Him you have access to the Father’s loving presence. Nothing – not your income level or stage of life or health or relational status – nothing is standing between you and the ‘life that is truly life’.”

Was I wrong to immediately say no to that man asking me for money? Some may say no, for safety reasons, but I would argue I was.

I allowed this self-centered way of thinking to become so rooted in my heart and brain that I did not even hesitate to check my wallet at his request. Who cares what he will use it for? Should one impostor homeless person who uses the money for bad things ruin the giving Spirit in the rest of humanity? If so, we are a lost cause. For all churches should shut down considering the number of hypocrites (including myself at times) that sit in the pews each weekend taking advantage of the benefits the church offers.

Since when did giving become such a particular thing? Who are we to determine who does and does not deserve our pennies? In fact, they’re not even ours. We are but stewards of the finances God blesses us with, despite how much or little that may be.

My heart still aches as I wish I acted differently.

The man left after saying, “I am sorry to have bothered you.”

I am unsure of how much he meant that, but those words wrecked me. Why do humans think asking for help from another is a bother? I considered how much I say that when I seek assistance from others and nearly every time, I receive a, “don’t worry at all” or “it’s not a problem”. Yet somehow I still feel bad to have people help me with anything.

I fear people in his position, receive a lot of no’s. And what I pray is that he doesn’t let that word, “bother”, be how he sees himself.

Giving is not a practice that is done between the “have’s” and “have-nots”. We are not on two sides where only one gives and the other takes. That man is fully capable of knowing Jesus and following Him. Eternal life is available to him as much as it was to the rich man. Yet the point I wish to identify, is that my struggle with materialism prevented a potentially fruitful conversation.

Fixing our focus on things that will not last or matter in 5, 10, or 50 years get in the way of God-honoring experiences countless times on a daily basis as we remain complacent in our bondage to the material world.

David Platt clarifies the severity of this problem in our society as he says, “The lesson I learned is that the war against materialism in our hearts is exactly that: a war. It is a constant battle to resist the temptation to have more luxuries to acquire more stuff, and to live more comfortably. It requires strong and steady resolve to live out the gospel in the middle of an American dream that identifies success as moving up the ladder, getting the bigger house, purchasing the nicer car, buying the better clothes, eating the finer food and acquiring more things.”

My dear friend, it was not the items I purchased that day that stopped me from helping the man. It was the idea of giving him something that I could use to get more things with. Some needs, some unnecessary. But regardless, my reaction revealed the reality of my skewed priorities as my own security and longing for more was what first came to mind instead of how I ought to love the people God made so intricately, reflecting His own image.

Materials are not the problem. The war is far beyond flesh. But it is a war we cannot ignore, as it could be the very thing blocking us from what our souls and the souls around us need so badly; eternal life, or in more clear words, Jesus, our only Savior.

Thoughts To Consider:

Do material things or ideas have a hold on you in any area of your life?

How can you practically remind yourself of the things that really matter? The things you were created for?

Let go of the striving to produce what only God can give. What are some of the root reasons you may struggle with that?

Consider the impact you could be a part of and experience as you begin living, loving, and giving the way Jesus did, regardless of your fears of insecurity or having enough.

Jesus looked at him and loved him. “One thing you lack,” he said. “Go, sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.” – Mark 10:21

Because He First Loved Us

bible, Christian lifestyle, spiritual formation

“The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make His face shine on you and be gracious to you; the Lord turn His face toward you and give you peace.” – Numbers 6:24-26

Devotion is such a strange concept. As we battle pride every day, it is difficult to joyfully claim we want to “devote” ourselves to something unless we know it will be highly successful. The meaning of this term is to give up a great portion of one of our most valuable possessions; time. As difficult as it can be to willingly choose to live devoted to something like the way of Jesus, we live devoted to something everyday whether we intend to or not. What we prioritize, focus on, and spend much time mastering or working at is what we devote our lives to. Maybe not your whole life, but definitely the season of life you are in now.

Pride, however, can create a conflict in our minds as we long to be the dictator of our own life while simultaneously hunger to be a part of something greater than ourselves. To leave a mark that lasts far beyond our last breath.

When I was in 5th grade, I was accepted into a middle school that was focused on marine biology. I was set on that being my future career. But after having to attend a different middle school, I was introduced to a lot of nonprofits. The work that I saw Christian leaders do through running organizations for the benefit of those in need around the world became my everything. I went into high school with the belief I would start the next being faith-based nonprofit of my generation. And when my high school launched a business track in place of our electives, I took that route all the way through senior year. I graduated high school having completed that track alongside an associates degree in organizational management. Then I went to college and was challenged more spiritually than ever before.

After only a year and a half, I had changed my major countless times from intercultural studies, to journalism, to business, to Christian community development, until I finally settled with communication and a concentration in internet and social media.

Growing up, I always knew what I wanted to do. And even when plans changed, it was never on a whim or without thought. I had reasons and dreams outlined behind every decision to change what I wanted to spend the rest of my life doing. But I can’t promise you that I had prayer behind those choices.

I felt the inclination to pursue writing early into college. The creation of this blog really helped me confirm my love for it. But in the back of my mind, I could not fully commit to it. I always had to have a backup plan, and that was evident in my indecisiveness regarding what I was studying.

But after college tested, crumbled, and eventually led me to rebuild my relationship with Jesus, I came to the realization that what I studied was not the dictator of my life. As a lover of knowledge, I had discovered how much I idolized my studies. Not for good grades but rather for the ability to feel prepared for the next step in life. The ability to overcome my great fear of inadequacy. Specifically, inadequacy in what I grew up hearing the world say our “everything” was supposed to be; our career.

I was so very devoted. But not out of joy. More so, out of fear of what would happen if I wasn’t dedicated and disciplined.

Isn’t that strange? I hungered for full control over my future. But I let every second of my younger years be directed by fear.

We as humans were created to worship. To live for something greater. But unfortunately, we are not born with the understanding that what we long for is completely satisfied in Christ. So we grow up spending years and even decades trying to maintain control while we slowly give more and more of ourselves to what we hear everyone tells us means the most. Sometimes that looks like pursuing money through a successful job. Or maybe it looks like finding a partner to quickly marry and build a family with. Or perhaps it looks like obtaining great knowledge through countless degrees, internships, trade schools, etc. And for the Christian desperate to leave a mark in vocational ministry, maybe that looks like building a church overflowing each weekend, spending years overseas on mission, or creating trending worship songs.

Whatever it is that we feel we have been called to spend our lives doing, we must not forget that our devotion first belongs to the Lord. Yes, God gives each of us different talents. But that is not to take first priority over Him.

As I read Numbers 6 this morning, my eyes were opened to the “why” behind a Christian’s devotion.

This chapter begins with the Nazirite vow. This is a commitment an Israelite person could make for a period of time to dedicate themselves wholly to God. There were strict rules to follow with this, and if they were broken, the person would have to restart the process.

Looking at that alone gives us a glimpse of the reality that God is so very holy and our brokenness is not something that we can ignore. We need redemption to be in communion with Him and set apart.

That’s what made the end of this chapter so mesmerizing. It reads, “The Lord said to Moses, ‘Tell Aaron and his sons, ‘This is how you are to bless the Israelites. Say to them: ‘The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make His face shine on you and be gracious to you; the Lord turn His face towards you and give you peace.’ So they will put my name on the Israelites, and I will bless them.'” (v. 22-27)

If you look back, God did not say only to speak this over those under the Nazirite vow. It was for His people, His broken and sinful people.

With the struggle of wanting to make a name for ourselves through a successful family, job, personal life, and even spiritual walk, it can be easy to forget one critical truth we see in this passage.

The blessing is from God because He loves us.

It is solely and completely His heart and decision that we experience any sort of grace or blessing. Our success or talents in life are not what determine our portion of God’s gifts of grace, mercy, or providence.

Our devotion surely matters, but not for the hope in greater benevolence from the Lord. It matters as it is how we can respond deeply in every aspect of our being to the love God has already shown us. What I mean is that true devotion; the giving up of time and resources spiritually, mentally, physically, and emotionally ought to be done out of reaction instead of wishful thinking.

We cannot serve enough, tithe enough, or preach enough to earn God’s love. Nothing we do will ever be enough. Yet the greatest news of all is He loves us still.

He loves us after we fall into sin. He loves us when we were battling doubt. He loves us when we are angry and confused. He loves us when we are burnt out.

He loves us so deeply and abundantly that His blessing is not just breath in our lungs right now but His very Spirit in our hearts. When we respond to the love poured out on the cross by Jesus with repentance of our wrongdoings and acceptance of His redemption, the Lord does not just stand at a distance and promise supervision of our lives. He makes a home in our hearts and in turn, we feel a grace, peace, love, purpose, and belonging any and everywhere.

But one of the toughest parts of reality is that the experience of God’s nearness is not delayed because of Him, but us.

We, with our closed off hearts, cynical mindsets, unexpectant perspectives, and complacent lifestyles are the reason we do not live every breath with confidence of the Lord’s love and longing for communion with us.

Devotion is not what earns us this love, but it is what gives our heart the opportunity to have its walls taken down by the gentle, yet mighty hand of God and allows our minds to be opened to the transformative desires of the Spirit.

My dear friend, how much longer will we live a life chasing the things that will but fade away with our last breath? I have grown weary of striving. Though I am not proud of the years I spent devoted to everything I thought would please the world or even the church, I am overwhelmed with joy that I see the ground beneath me is offered to the Lord as fertile ground now; available and open for whatever He pleases. When we begin devoting ourselves to the One who loved us to death and back, we will open our minds and hearts to a transformation no amount of striving could ever bring. Not by our own power or might, but by His grace and love alone. For that is just who He is.

Thoughts To Consider:

How might God use your unmet expectations to redirect your devotion?

Where in your life have you mistaken activity or works for intimacy with God?

What are you training your heart to love by how you spend your time?

Consider the gentleness of a God who asks for devotion, not to burden you, but to free you.

“The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make His face shine on you and be gracious to you; the Lord turn His face toward you and give you peace.” – Numbers 6:24-26

On Leviticus: Why Peace Seems To Escape Us

bible, christian, spiritual formation

“You must keep the Israelites separate from things that make them unclean, so they will not die in their uncleanliness for defiling my dwelling place, which is among them.” – Leviticus 15:31

For the last 3 and a half years, I could not understand why my most viewed blog was one that was so specific to a current event in 2022.

When I wrote “Elohim Shomri – God As Our Protector In The Wake Of War“, the conflict between Ukraine and Russia had somewhat just begun. This was written with a reference to the story of Joshua and the battle of Jericho. I honestly did not think much would come from it, I mean, after 3.5 years, it has 0 likes and 0 comments…but over 1,000 views. And 681 of those are from this year alone.

I normally do not look that deeply into the stats and I don’t want to make this about numbers, but I could not help but notice that if my blog was viewed at all in a day, that post was typically the reason why.

It intrigued a while back but I couldn’t pinpoint what made it so popular. Then today, while I reading and thinking about what I wish more people realized mattered, it hit me.

Peace.

That blog was about Peace. And I don’t mean just the feeling. I am talk about the One who is the embodiment of it.

It could have been very easy to pick a side and believe that’s what peace would be like. But that’s not Biblical. True peace is not found in a motivational speech, a political statement, or even by overloading ourselves with self-help material. Though sometimes you may get inspiration from those, what humans long for is what we cannot create by our own works.

We have a hole in our hearts and souls that sense the world we live in is broken and needs healing, but no matter how hard we try, nothing lasts. That’s not because peace is impossible. Rather, it’s because we are seeking a thing (or feeling) over a person.

I have been to many churches and I love what a lot of them are doing. But I also grow angry towards some as I recognize a major problem that seems to be so consistent among congregations, yet so ignored.

Perhaps it is ignorance or direct denial, but whatever it is, it is building a barrier between what we as Christian’s are supposed to be focused on. Discipleship is the process of following Christ. But if you were to take a poll in many churches today, unfortunately, we would probably find the majority not serving, not in a small group, inconsistent in their personal quiet time, or having a lack of accountability in their spiritual walk.

I say this not to degrade churches. For I have worked at one and served at 3 others that I would consider a second home. But I cannot deny that there were times I was angry as I served and watched the same people walk in and walk out each Sunday, never seeing them hold a Bible, join a group/service team, or show any outward hunger for God.

As someone who struggled with religiousness when I first became a Christ follower, I don’t want anyone to take what I am saying as “works are what saves you”. For that is not true. But they are evidence of your love for God. And they are the routes we take to make room for God to speak and move in our lives on a daily basis.

Reread that last sentence.

We cannot forget our purpose. Yes, it is to share the Gospel. But first and foremost it is to love our God. And if desire to use the name of Jesus to encourage anyone, we cannot neglect the process of learning His ways. For the Lord’s ways are not the same as ours. We have a sin nature. And what sin is, is anything that goes against God. So if disobedience is in our hearts naturally since the Fall of man, we cannot dare to think we can share God’s love without prioritizing being near to Him in our personal life.

Leviticus, I won’t lie, has been a difficult book to get through. But I found a common theme as I read the end of chapter 15. It says in verse 31, “You must keep the Israelites separate from things that make them unclean, so they will not die in their uncleanliness for defiling my dwelling place, which is among them.“

Now surely, death for uncleanliness may sound a bit harsh. And I always heard that word used to describe God in the Old Testament. But after reading all about these sacrifices and temple regulations, I could not help but see a God so desperate to build a bridge between a sinful, broken people and His Holy, perfect self. He did not do it because He had to, or even because He needed our praise. He made a way in the Old and New Testament because of His love for us.

Yet I look at this modern culture, including myself, and think, “we’d never last in a time like that”. We hunger for immediate satisfaction, a comfortable Sunday service experience, and a convenient personal routine with God. The idea of self-denial, control, and discipline are more reserved for those ambitious for stronger bodies, healthier diets, or a greater financial position. Though those are all good goals, why are Christ followers not the first and most dedicated group of self-discipline people in the world? What better is there to sacrifice for than our Savior?

People long to be better. Most would include “bettering themselves” as a part of their idea of success. But what we often forget is that it takes discipline. And specifically to be like Christ, it takes discipleship.

I cannot count the times I have cried out to God for peace, while neglecting the need to draw near to Him. Leviticus and many other surrounding books are very focused on the law and how to approach God through the temple. His peace and presence are then promised on the other side of the Israelites obedience. And that, I believe, is the part I forget so often.

Yes, Christ made a way for us to connect with the Lord, not needing a temple like the Israelites in Leviticus. But the sacrifice of Jesus did not negate the Holiness of God. For our Lord is still the Lord Most High, the One so perfect and pure. And I fear in an attempt to modernize the Word of God, many today encourage salvation as though it is a “one and done” agreement.

Yet if we read verses 31 again, we might realize His dwelling place was moved from tents to our hearts. So there is no need to “modernize” or “contextualize” the Word of God here as it says His followers ought to remain, “separate from things that make them unclean, so they will not die in their uncleanliness for defiling my dwelling place, which is among them.”

Perhaps if we realized one of the greatest gifts from God is His presence with us now rather than just a heaven waiting for us when we die, we would begin to understand the gravity of discipleship and our need for it. As it is the means to our biggest need: a restored relationship and consistent communion with God.

We could argue all day long, trying to pick sides in this world. But that is not what our souls are desperate for. Being right only fills your pride. It’s being with Peace that restores our broken hopes, wounds, anxieties, and gives us a purpose no one can take away. Not even our own failures.

My dear friend, wholeness is what God longs for you to realize is only found in Him. Our pursuit of peace and contentment can only reach so far in a world so broken. But God’s heart for our redemption could not be more evident in the Old Testament as He placed Himself among us and made a way for our total redemption. We are set apart because of our first love. Not because we are any better than our neighbor. But only because we have come to realize how necessary Jesus is for our every breath. May we stop chasing the idea of peace while ignoring the One it flows out of.

Thoughts To Consider:

Where have you been chasing the feeling of peace instead of seeking the God of peace?

What habits, mindsets, or comforts are you clinging to that keep you from deeper discipleship and true wholeness in Christ?

Do your rhythms in life reflect someone who treasures His presence, or someone surviving on their own?

Consider how your life may change as you acknowledge peace is not discovered, but received in His nearness.

“You must keep the Israelites separate from things that make them unclean, so they will not die in their uncleanliness for defiling my dwelling place, which is among them.” – Leviticus 15:31

The Difference Between Leaving and Following

christian, lifestyle, spiritual formation

“So do whatever God has told you” – Genesis 31:16

I saw this post on Instagram where the audio was stating how everyone ought to move to a place they’ve never been to during their 20’s. To say you did it. What is “it” exactly? I suppose one could say succeeded, proved their independence, exercised their freedom, experienced true choice…made a decision that proved they did in fact have control over this chaotic thing we call life.

But why in our 20’s? I am unsure. I would assume it had to do with the new freedom from one’s teenage responsibilities and also the typical fact that many in their early 20’s have no dependents. They only have themselves to care for.

When The World Says “Go“

I must admit, when I first saw this, I felt validated. For that was exactly what I was in the process of doing. Just two weeks ago, I packed my bags and moved to another state where I don’t know anyone, starting a job at a school I never visited while living in an apartment I never had the chance to tour. That video made me feel good. As though maybe my big move wasn’t so crazy after all.

I held that mentality for a little while. And after I finally got moved in, I saw another Instagram reel with that same audio. I smiled, because I felt I had accomplished just that. And then I suddenly felt different.

I hadn’t moved here to “get away”, exercise my free will, or even just to start fresh. I came here because years ago, I had given my prayer to God, that He would bring me north of Florida. I will admit, my reasons were selfish when I first prayed that prayer. But after years of being deeply humbled by the Lord, He began planting a seed of hope in my heart about a year and a half ago. Not that it was time yet, but that He would lead me on a new journey soon. Soon wasn’t very clear, but I knew it meant leaving all I had grown up around.

So for roughly a year and a half after that feeling, I continued praying for a “go now“.

But praise the Lord He humbles the proud. For I thought I knew all I needed and what I was going to do. But over that time, God opened my eyes to the beautiful reality of seasons. Of letting go. Of stewarding well what is in my hands right now. And of finding contentment wherever and whenever He led me. Not because it was an answer to my dream, but because He promised to offer His presence during all of it.

So as I sat on my janky couch in my new apartment and watched that Instagram reel, hearing that audio again, all I wanted to tell every person who saw that was: No. Do not just go. Do not mask your attempt to run away from your current life by calling it “freedom because you are young.” Or a season of exploration when you are simply seeking an escape. Sit. Quiet yourself. And listen for the Shepherd’s call.

Not just because you may want change in your life, but because it means that every step you take is with, for, and from the Lord.

When God Says “Go”

In Genesis, we see that the word “Go” was rarely spoken on a whim. Nor was it something people eagerly waited to hear. Rather, it was a calling from God that was typically followed by the promise that He, the Almighty, “will be with you.”

We find this in the story of Noah starting in chapter 7, and with Abraham in chapter 12, as well as with Jacob in chapter 31. Though each have remarkable stories, I want to focus more on Jacob. All of these individuals mentioned have been led by God to do some incredible things. But also, some very hard things.

Noah was called to believe in a world-wide flood and obey in building a massive ark with two of every kind of animal. I cannot imagine preparing to watch everything and everyone around you get washed away. Abraham was directed to sacrifice his beloved son. God ended up providing a sacrifice in place of him, but not until Abraham was just a few seconds from offering his greatest blessing back to God. And Jacob experienced countless years of labor due to the manipulation of his eventual father-in-law who later refused to let him leave. I think this clarifies that a life with God does not mean we are free from difficulties. In fact, I would argue that following Jesus leads us to experience even more pressures and troubles because we are living for the One this world despises.

Yet we who know Christ still choose to endure.

I have a fear that the popular message today is that we can just up and leave when hardship comes. The world claims it is not out of weakness, but rather, out of “doing what is right for yourself.” But friend, if you follow Christ, how can this be? How is it that we can claim we know, on such a whim and with little to no godly counsel, what is right for ourselves while simultaneously claiming the Lord is on the throne of our heart?

Hurry is not from the Lord. It is not His nature, nor is it how we grow closer to Him.

All of these individuals I mentioned from Genesis have either spent years or decades devoting themselves to the Lord and shaping their lives in a way that proved their commitment to Him. Yes, I mean living in such a way where their word not only claimed to be associated with God, but their lifestyle emitted the heart of God as well.

Today, we have the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus to reference to when we question our “why.”

The life of Jesus opened our eyes to the fact that we, even standing beside God in flesh, still fall short. Yet, even failing before the Son of God did not out weigh His love for us. Instead, He lived the life we should have. He served, loved, obeyed, and worshipped the Father, showing us what we ought to pursue.

The death of Jesus revealed that He is a God of Justice, but communion with us was worth paying going to death and back for. He took on our punishment, atoning for all we have done and will do, so that we may be reconciled to the Father.

The resurrection of Jesus proved that every chain, weight, and temptation stands no chance against the power of God. His love and grace was greater than our sin and His Word is the one we can boldly trust.

Jacob’s Call

Now in Genesis 27, we see Jacob steal Esau’s blessing. Not a great start for him, but if you flip to chapter 31, we come across a verse that sounds so simple, yet I felt may be overlooked often…”So do whatever God has told you.” (v. 16)

For context, Jacob had just heard the words that I explained I was waiting on before…”Go, now.” He had been working with his father-in-law for decades at this point and was quite successful. But in verse 3, we see God call Jacob to go back to the land his father (Isaac) was in. Yet that is not all He said. God ended with “and I will be with you.”

After hearing that, Jacob immediately went to tell his wives what God had said. And despite them having 11 kids and tons of animals and supplies, the response of Rachel and Leah were; “So do whatever God has told you.”

How often is our nearness to God so evident in our lives that the support of God-fearing people around us is so easily received?

Jacob heard his way out. He could have just up and left. But instead, he brought it to those closest to him and shared that it was from the Lord. And like the favor God showed Joseph (Jacobs son) through Potiphar, the jailor, and the Pharoah, the Lord filled those around Jacob with peace so that he could begin his journey. I fear that is the part we dismiss or delay today.

Everyone has dreams and plans. But not all of them are from the Lord, or perhaps they are just not for “right now”. Yet our current culture is not one that promotes patience. We want things and we want them now. And unfortunately, God doesn’t do prime shipping in regards to our plans. He may, but often times, there is a season of preparation before the promise land.

So this brings us back to that Instagram reel.

The opportunity to move was there, but very unclear and extremely risky 2 years ago. And if you asked me why I wanted to go, the true and honest answer was because I felt that I had to escape my hometown at that moment or I never would. I had started college online and every job I thought could lead me to become an author was non-existent unless I drove nearly an hour or more. I felt hopeless and I felt like I would have to settle in a city that only catered to families with toddlers and the elderly while searching for any job that gave me the most opportunity to write on the side. I was scared. And I was nervous my chances of ever accomplishing any of my dreams would end in one of my greatest concerns: failure.

I had that view since I was in high school and it did not chance until just over a year and a half ago when I recognized I just needed God to be near to satisfy my desperate heart. I was finally content for once.

I still considered moving, but it was no longer a factor that determined my “success” in life. It was just a change of environment. A new place to experience blessing and hopefully be a blessing.

It was then that I found so much joy in my job and in the final courses of college. It was then when graduation seemed attainable after years of doubt. It was then that my job was more than just a way to get paid, but a community God had blessed me to grow with. And it was then that I would lay in bed at night and simply thank God for being under the same roof as my parents for yet another day.

The “go, now” was not what I was eagerly waiting on anymore. All I wanted, and all I needed, was to know God was with me in each moment.

And as I have been settling in at my own place now, I have sadness for the distance between my family and church, but my tears of joy for the love and support I have had from them outweigh every upset part of my heart.

My dear friend, do not be so eager for the next thing. God has a reason for the place you are in. But what I find even more exciting is that He promises to be with us. To meet us where we are. This world is so hurried for little reason. It is not a race. And when we push for doors God has not opened for us, we forfeit the peace and support of those around us. For those who know the Lord will discern when you are running after something not with, from, or for Him. May you wait on the Good Shepherd to call you to “go, now” and surround you with friends, family, or counsel who see Him so evidently close to you that they have no response besides, “do whatever God has told you.”

Thoughts to Consider:

Where might the Lord be inviting you to see beauty and purpose in the season you’re in right now?

What steps can you take to seek the Lord’s guidance before making a major change in your life?

How have you let the culture’s love for hurry influence you? How can you prevent it?

Consider the way God could move in and around you when you find true contentment in the “here” and peace in the “go, now”.

“So do whatever God has told you.” – Genesis 31:16

Just His Presence & Somehow, That’s Enough

christian, lifestyle, spiritual formation

“Let the morning bring me word of Your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in You. Show me the way I should go, for to You I entrust my life.” – Psalm 143:8

What a strange position it is to not know if you can trust your heart.

As I prepare to make a drastic change in my life; moving to a new city in a new state, I can’t help but constantly find myself stunned at reality.

It is though I am on a boat with still waters, yet no land in sight. The tank is full, I have resources, but the map is only highlighting the destination. Not quite the route.

Anxiety, doubt, and hopelessness are no strangers to me. Many of their causes are unknown. But that’s okay. I came to a point in my life where I stopped asking “why” and God began opening my eyes to “how”. Specifically, how to see Him in all of it.

The last few months has had its ups and downs, but one thing I noticed was that I was talking my heart into trusting my mind more than I was needing to persuade myself to look for God in those anxious times.

This was not because I doubted that I would see God in my troubles, but because I knew He was already there. I knew that when I asked Him to walk with me on every step of this journey back when it was just a dream, the faithful God I serve would remain near. Not because I deserved it, but because that is who He is. The One who stays.

So as tensions rose and the voices of doubt flooded my heart, it was but surrender that I needed. Surrendering of my feelings.

When You’re Unsure If You Can Trust Your Heart

When we are caught between what we feel and what we know, it’s easy for our hope to waiver and our fears to rise.

I feel a lot and I feel deeply. But what I have witnessed God do has fortified the truth that my mind grips so tightly to. My heart struggles to agree many times, but the God I know and He who knows me, is One who is faithful.

I want to clarify that surrendering is not to manipulate yourself. But it is to reveal that reality you are living is different than that which you knew before Christ.

Before we were reconciled with God, we were a slave to sin. Maybe it defined you, drained you, filled you with shame, or bound you in addiction. Whatever it did, you were not free. And the feelings of weariness surely could consume you.

But once you have accepted Christ as your sacrifice, you are now given the freedom of new life. A new reality. It is not a hope we only dream of for eternity, but it is the very life we now live. You are free.

I say that to provide reasoning in the surrendering of our feelings. We as humans are far from understanding the entirety of living as free as we actually are. That is because we struggle with the symptoms of sin in the world and the habits we have yet to break from our past. And the beautiful truth is that God is fully aware of this.

So He asks us to cast them on Him. Our anxieties. Our doubts. Our fears. Our shame. All of it, He wants to make new. He wants to show us that we can live in a world of brokenness and trials while remaining in constant communion with Him.

So, how is that attainable?

Learning to Surrender Emotions and Trust God’s Presence

Surrender begins by recognizing its purpose: to open our hearts toward the One greater than all things, including our feelings.

That begins with knowing who you serve. We cannot logically give up our most valuable things (time, devotion, service, idols, etc.) to something or someone we do not believe is worth it. We may say that we do, but God knows our hearts. You are only hurting yourself when you hide who or what the “lord” of your life truly is. So we must read His Word and be in prayer with Him. About all things, we must communicate with Him.

Then, we must listen. There is no point in seeking God if you are only interested in having someone to rant to. For God to truly lead, discipline, and speak to you, you need to give Him room for that. That can come in various ways, but do not assume He will write it on a sign for you if you never devote intentional time to hearing the voice of your shepherd. For only when you know that, can you as His sheep, see how far He has come to reach you and bring you home.

When we know the voice of our God, it makes it ever so slightly easier to know what He is and is not in. I fear we beg God for His blessings more than His presence. It broke my heart to realize not too long ago that the love and peace described in Scripture is what He is the very embodiment of. For I cannot count how many years I have rejoiced over the love of God like a boost in my esteem, not acknowledging it was His presence longing to meet me where I was. His gentle voice was something I ignored, as I simply took the blessings of His nearness.

Is is not good to live with a disconnection like that. God is not a genie and we must recognize that if we ever desire to understand the point of His sacrifice on the cross.

However, none of the above is any good if we do not apply it through action. And although serving others is part of it, I want to focus more on the molding of our personal character. As we are drawn to the Lord and our eyes are opened more to His being, we must do as Christ commanded; obey.

Much of our outward obedience actually depends greatly on our inward discipline. For if you feel the conviction of God in an area of your life and choose to ignore it, your service to others is but an attempt to either make up for the lack of inward trust in God or the lack of true reverence for Him. Christ did not come to encourage the hypocrites in their sinful ways. For if He did, the Pharisees wouldn’t have dragged Him to His death.

But this is also the step that may require the most communication within multiple parts of yourself and God. This is the position I often find myself deeply struggling with. I actually found the outward disciplines quite simple, though when I am convicted to forgive, to let go of control, to have hope in trials, to show compassion to my enemies, to cast my anxieties before the Lord…I am in constant warfare. My mind knows what is true and right. But my heart is consumed by the feelings I often find too complicated to understand.

So I go into battle. But I never leave out the Spirit. The Holy Spirit comes to abide within all believers and I have found out the hard way that I am not supposed to fight Him or to justify my ways to Him, but to partner with Him. For He is the One speaking life when I cannot. He is the One pointing me to what the reality of redemption looks like when I try to flirt with the chains of sin that bounded me in my past.

So for the one desiring practical applications; do not tell yourself that your feelings are dumb. Or pointless. For we are humans made to feel. Sometimes they are just out of proportion. But definitely do not convince yourself that “this is just how you are”. For the Spirit is the presence of God. The very embodiment of love, peace, and hope is within you. So be honest. Explain everything to the Lord. And then rest in His presence. Yes, literally sit in silence. I advise you to go somewhere you can see creation. For putting yourself in a position where you see the evidence of God’s power, beauty, and love plays a role in reminding your heart what your mind and the Holy Spirit know to be true.

And when you hear a word from the Lord; perhaps it is something just encouraging you to trust in God’s plan, act on it. Put it into action by believing it with your heart first, and then walking it out as you love on others.

Finding Peace When You Don’t Know Where God Is Leading You

We are bound to wrestle within ourselves and sometimes even against the ways God is guiding. But may we never forget the kind of God He is.

As I envision myself on that boat, with calm seas, unclear of the route I will be taking, I remain confident of the One leading me. Yet, I struggle. Yes, to not trust my heart at times. For it is but fearful of the uncertainty it was so used to living through before knowing Christ.

I must not attempt to take control, for I know that the Truth and the presence of the Lord are the only reasons the seas are calm.

My dear friend, do not get so distracted with the concerns in which your Heavenly Father has already resolved. Take a step back, recognize His pace is perfect. His blessings are not your first desire, rather, simply may His presence be more than enough for you.

What a strange position it is to not know if you can trust your heart, but may we still rejoice for we know the One who stays with us forever is oh so very faithful.

Thoughts to Consider:

What prevents you from bringing your doubts, concerns, or troubles to God? He is not angry nor annoyed, for He went to death and back for the chance that you might seek a relationship with Him.

Is there an area of your life that you have buried and masked with outward obedience to avoid the inward change that God is calling you to?

What part of your morning will you let be an intentional time to spend getting to know the presence of God? Set your alarm and find a place away from others.

Consider the impact and love you could have with others if you began living in the reality the Holy Spirit longs for you to see.

“Let the morning bring me word of Your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in You. Show me the way I should go, for to You I entrust my life.” – Psalm 143:8