lifestyle

God-Ordained Identity – Finding Yourself In Jesus

christian, Christian lifestyle, encouragement, lifestyle

The struggle to maintain a stable identity must surely be on the top 10 reasons behind the most regretful actions people take. We live in a time where coming to know who you are is seen as a lifelong process. It is as though we become a new person every couple of years. Although, my ever changing Pinterest page would tell you I aspire to be a completely new person every few weeks. The struggle is real. Society has it’s fads and we are often a victim of their lifespan.

This summer will probably go in the books as one of the most aggravating summers in history. After a crazy pandemic, with all the “hiring now” signs, you’d think finding a job would be easy. Well, such was not the case. I applied to 27 jobs. Two of them responded. After interviewing with both companies, due to my short time left before college, they told me “we apologize, but we are not looking for temporary workers at the moment.” Crushing. Not only did I waste a full face of make-up products, a gallon of gas, and sleep (both interviews were at 7am-8am), I also left a large chunk of my pride in the lobby of those restaurants I vowed to never step foot in again due to my embarrassment and rejection.

Unqualified. That’s the word that flooded my mind as I drove in silence back home. Although they told me the rejection was due to my short time-frame of being in town, I was convinced it was much deeper. Maybe it was the way I introduced myself. Or that my laugh was too loud. Or that I hesitated when they asked about my skills. Every potential reason that someone could be rejected for a job is exactly what I told myself happened with me. And just like that, I found it very hard to have sympathy for any business claiming they are short staffed. I knew I shouldn’t have grown bitter, but I did.

A few thousand years ago, there was a king who experienced a similar event, he was rejected. His name was David. He asked a fellow man in power if he would be so kind and supply some food and water to his people. When the man, Nabal, heard David’s request, not only did he deny it, but he humiliated him. He asked his people “Who is this David? Who is this son of Jesse? Many servants are breaking away from their masters these days. Why should I take my bread and water, and the meat I have slaughtered for my shearers, and give it to men coming from who knows where?” Ouch. In response, David prepared to have a comeback. He and 400 soldiers went on their way to kill Nabal and his family. Yet their trek was put on pause as a woman by the name of Abigail intervened. She was the wife of Nabal. Rather than trying to justify the actions of her husband, she empathized with David. She explained how Nabal is a fool in all aspects of his life, including at home with her. She reminded him of the work God has done through him and reminded him of His value to God. No longer did the weight of rejection have to loom over David’s head because Abigail reminded him of the only truth that mattered. God’s truth. She put her life on the line so that her husband and friends did not have to die. In the words of Lysa TerKeurst, Abigail “spoke her words of truth in the tone of grace.”

After experiencing rejection from the 25 jobs that refused to even call me back on top of the 2 that claimed two months was too short of a time, I was struggling to believe that I had value in any company. My hopes of getting an internship in the media field this school year were crushed. I had a small list of companies I wanted to reach out to but for weeks after those rejections, I told myself there was no point. In my hurt, I allowed others to tell me who I was.

But thank goodness our God cares for us even when we give our identity to the world. When we find ourselves in what others say about us, we lose our sense of worth. Like David, we push away all that we knew and resort to bitterness. No longer do the words of scripture matter to us because we allow the temptation of anger and resentment to take over the moment we encounter someone who was rude to us, or in my case, didn’t give me what I thought I needed.

It is no easy task to constantly remind yourself of God’s truth. Because in all honesty, the conviction that comes with it can hurt. But as we look at stories that reveal the power of the truth in our consistent God, like that of Abigail and David, it becomes clear that who we think we are affects what we do, and what we do REALLY matters. God calls us to live set apart. He calls us to be peace makers and share His love with humility. It is typically when we try to push for the things WE think we need, that we find ourselves burdened by the opinions of others.

In a time where the world is tempting you to find yourself in thousands of different things during your journey of life, we have to realize our identity is too important to be unstable. Because all we do flows from who we aim to be deep down, it is undoubtedly one of the most important things we as Christians need to surrender to God as our source.

It may feel good to be bitter in the moment as we try to justify ourselves. But in the long run, the weight begins to add up and it only leads you farther and farther from the great plans God has for you. He wants you to live loved so you can share it with others. Sweet friend, the next time the enemy tempts you to grow anything but love, grace, and forgiveness towards those who hurt you, remind yourself of who you are in God’s eyes. Remembering is the way in which we can be filled in a circumstance that tries to drain you. It is through that discipline that we can take life step by step in the way God designed us to. You have a God-ordained identity. Do not trade it for the unstable worlds’ opinion.

Cultivating Change – Our God is a God of New Beginnings

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“Time grows the seeds that are planted, watered, and fertilized. Plant beauty, grow beauty. Plant thorns, grow thorns. Time will allow for either.”

I have been reading this book for the last few weeks and I came across this incredible quote. Recently, the topic of change and its necessity in our lives as Christians has been discussed a lot. When the rug is swiped out from under your feet and all you knew has become far from being the norm again, what is the seed of change you begin to plant?

Is it bitterness towards those who hurt you? Is it emptiness from the loss? Is it denial and ignorance towards difficulties?

OR…is it compassion towards your enemies? Hope in God’s ability to turn grief into glory? Or confidence in the victories God has already claimed He won?

When that moment of inevitable change in our life comes, we cannot allow ourselves to sulk or grow angry in the difference, rather rejoice in our God of new beginnings.

Before I evaluate the circumstance I just experienced, I try to remind myself of the circumstance between me and God. I sinned. A LOT. Meaning, I straight up disobeyed God a billion times over, each time basically stabbing Him in the heart. Yet what did God do? Well based on my alive and healthy body sipping a matcha latte as I write this, He sure didn’t give up and smote me. Rather, He allowed me to be made knew. He gave me a restart. And He allowed me live the rest of my life free from the bondage of my past. He planted a seed of freedom in my heart and every day since, He has not failed to cultivate it kindly so that the harvest I produce is the fruit of a free and beloved child of God.

Once I force myself to remember my compassionate God’s reaction to me doing everything He DIDN’T want me to do, I then look back and think about my circumstance with the people or life that did everything I DIDN’T want them to do. And that heavy feeling from the bitterness I initially had has turned into conviction.

My friend, I know genuinely wanting a desire for change that is biblical is not easy nor appealing in most cases. It feels so much better to take the judgement of others into your own hand and justify yourself in the process because our heart longs for instant gratification. But what happens after you tell off the person who hurt you? Or you seclude yourself in your room for months, sulking about the past? Or you have grown a mixture of numbness and fear towards difficult circumstances to the point where you are constantly running from things or kicking them under the rug in hopes of their disappearance? From someone who has done all three of these and so much more…the good feeling never lasts.

God designed our hearts to not only be loved, but to express love. We were crafted so that we may connect with others and build a community of respect and care towards one another. But too often, we lose track of who we were made to be and how we were made to act.

Ephesians 6:12 states, “For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.”

Our enemy is not really other humans. And for those who have a habit of collecting all the blame…your enemy is not really yourself either. Hurt may be inflicted on us by people or even ourselves and our mistakes, but we cannot allow our emotions in the heat of the moment be what guides us. God seeks for us to do one thing; honor Him in all circumstances.

The book I have been referring to states:

“We must speak with honor in the midst of being dishonored. We must speak with peace in the midst of being threatened. We must speak of good things in the midst of a bad situation. We must be obedient to, trust, and believe God and let Him boss around our contrary feelings.”

If there is one thing I encourage you to pursue with all your heart (in light of your full pursuit towards God of course), it is to learn how to say no to your heart and flesh. The world will tell you, “do what your heart desires”, but scripture tells us to deny ourselves because any foundation besides Christ is as unstable as shifting sands.

So when situations arise that seem to flip your world upside down, remind yourself of the One you live for. Dive so deep into God’s truth and guidance that your feelings of bitterness and such have no chance of growth because they are so overwhelmed by the compassion, grace, and forgiveness you allow God to fill you with.

There is a perfect Gardener who wants to give you free seeds that will produce the absolute best for your future. He offers them to you daily, but it is up to you to accept His seeds and take the time to cultivate them. As you do, He remains there alongside you so that in your times of weakness, you can rely on Him to keep you steady. That Gardener’s name is Jehovah Shammah; the Lord is present. (Ezekiel 48:35)

What a beautiful gift it is to live with the opportunity to start fresh. Today can be Day 1 of a new beginning, one that God promises to be present during if you allow Him.

But much like the process of cultivating a seed, cultivating change will take watering, waiting, tilling, and consistent attention. And that means any seed. Love or bitterness.

So, which gardener will you get your next seed from…the enemy, filling your heart with anger and pride or Jehovah Shammah, wanting only the best for you?

Dear Weary Traveler…HE is still God.

christian, Christian lifestyle, encouragement, lifestyle

I have come to realize that the “advice” for the weary Christian is to have hope in what is to come, that being, eternity with God in Heaven. Now, don’t get me wrong. That is amazing and it is what our greatest hope should be. But for the longest time, I found it so hard to believe that was the only hope out there for those who struggle a little more than others to find the joy or purpose in things or even themselves. But dear weary traveler, I am here to tell you that I think I have found a hope that can be experienced…well…as soon as you want.

A few days ago I was doing my usual workout with my worship playlist going on in the background. Yes, MY worship playlist. Meaning I have heard all of these songs before…but yet again, God opened the door for a new perspective. The song “Still God” by Anna Golden began to play. I had a lot on my mind as I was working out, but as I laid on the floor trying to catch my breath for the short 15 seconds between my reps, I caught of a small piece of these lyrics playing in the background. And lets just say, those 15 seconds turned into 7 minutes and 15 seconds of sitting in awe of this beautiful song.

I highly encourage you to listen to it then finish reading this. Nevertheless, as I listened closely to the lyrics of this song, I noticed for the first time, there may be a slice of hope for those with heavy hearts besides Heaven.

God is still God.

Literal chills. Regardless of how much this world changes, or how much pain you experience, or how much doubt you build up about your Christ-bought identity…He is still God.

In order to understand the weight of this simple phrase, it is critical that you first understand who God is and how He is with His beloved (aka. you, me, and everyone else before and after us). You must build a confidence in God being all He says He is…our sustainer (Psalm 54:4), light (1 John 1:5), refuge (Psalm 62:7-8), consistent (Malachi 3:6), merciful (Deuteronomy 4:31), compassionate (Psalm 116:5), all-loving (Romans 5:8), savior (John 15:13/John 3:16)…and so on.

Why is this so important? Because there is a 100% chance that your life will be filled with changing seasons. Some will be amazing, some will be terrible and heart wrenching. And sadly, because of the sinful world we live in, sometimes we will never experience healing or redemption for things until we are in Heaven. BUT I have good news for you. Weary traveler…you may have to wait until heaven for your depression to be gone or your anxiety to cease or your sickness to heal, but you do NOT have to wait until heaven for your heart to be cared for in the way it was designed to be.

God is still God. In your hurting. In your victories. In your failures. In your diseases. In your proudest moments. In your confusion. In your anxiety. In your fear. In your career change. In your dream college. In your financial problems. In your grief. In your everything. He does not change and He does not leave.

So whether you are on a mountain top or in the deepest of valleys, there is always a God waiting for you to lean on Him so that you may find contentment and know that there is a good truth that never changes, regardless of what your feelings may tell you.

As I was talking with the middle/high school girls at church yesterday, the conversation of God turning bad things into glorifying things arose. And I thought it was important to mention there, and here, that God is not the one who brings trials or burdens into your life. That is the symptom of living in a broken world with broken people. That includes life-long struggles like depression, loneliness, anger, anxiety, and etc. But just like He turned the bad things into good throughout the Bible, look at stories like Joseph in Genesis, He is fully capable and wanting to turn your biggest struggles into something that glorifies Him and is good for you.

What was discussed in our conversation last night was how many times our pains and rough experiences connect us with one another. Christians do not gather to celebrate their perfection. We gather to celebrate a God who is perfect yet still somehow loves all of us who are broken.

So weary traveler…you are not alone. There is a hope more immediate than Heaven. But the only way to experience that and receive it is to be real. Be vulnerable about what you are enduring. There is no shame in our brokenness because of the mercy and grace of God. And most of all, dig deep into learning about who God is so that when the your heart feels so empty yet so heavy, you can rest and be comforted by the hope that God is STILL God.

He is still the ultimate healer. He still loves you unconditionally. He is still the God who does miracles. He still cares for you and cries alongside you. He is still the God who brings hope in the hardest of storms. He still identifies you as redeemed and beloved.

Our life’s purpose is not to be happy as we strive for success in the world’s eyes, but to be joyful as we glorify the Lord wherever and however He calls us.

He is still God, so my fellow weary traveler…may we build our life on this when everything around us seems hopeless.

What Floods The Desert

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But as for me, I watch in hope for the Lord, I wait for God my Savior; my God will hear me.

Micah 7:7 NIV

For the last 3 weeks, I have been in a flooded desert. Though there was pain, sorrow, and a lack of resources, none of it was a match for the great flood that flowed through this land. Not a flood of water…but of hope.

As I came across this verse in Micah, I could not help but relate it to the people I encountered on my journey to the Middle East. For nearly a month, I walked in the same land God split the sea for Moses to walk through. The same land Saul had his transformation to Paul. The same land that a Shepard boy was made a mighty king. Yet amidst all God has done in the past, the most amazing thing to me was what He was doing in the hearts of the people today.

I saw fathers give up everything to get their daughters the medical treatment they needed. I saw parents embrace and thank God for the children their culture tells them are a disgrace due to their disabilities. And I saw oh so much hope and praise towards God in the eyes of families who were bombed out of their homes and forced to move to foreign lands with no guarantee of a way out.

This, is a small glimpse of the flooded desert I walked through.

My heart shatters as this world defaces the reputation of the Arab community. I have never met a more loving group of people in my whole life. Their sense of strangers becoming friends and friends becoming family is so wholesome.

After spending weeks drinking an excessive amount of coffee and tea with random families, I have found that they live out Micah 7:7 to the absolute fullest.

Though the name of Jesus was not the one they commonly praised, it has never been more evident to me of God’s hand over a community. These people were living in pain. Pain that began far before their own lives and continues to deepen as they step into each new day. Yet at the same time, they are overflowing with hope and joy. A hope that brings life during dreadful times. And a joy that remains as they lift up God through the rubble of their struggles.

It is this hope I pray I can learn how to share with you all. Like they so kindly welcomed me into their homes, making me feel like a close sister, I hope to make this blog a place you all feel loved and secure.

We as the Church ought to be unified as one. Love should be the driving force for all we say and do. So as you take a second to speak with God today, I pray you ask Him to show you how to love well. This world portrays the people of the Middle East in such a terrible way. But I am here to encourage you to let God be the one to tell you how we should treat others, not the media, not the president, not your family…simply God. If He gave His life to love them, how can we live and not do the same?

Silence – Giving God the Chance to Speak

christian, easter, encouragement, lifestyle

The past few weeks have been absolutely insane if I am going to be completely honest. After starting my job, I have been on a tight schedule, dedicating any and all of my free time to school. I wish I could say that I manage things well, but lately, I have been slacking on posting these blogs at the right time, reading the books I need for class, and finding time to do what I am doing now…sitting at the park I talked about in the “finding your quiet place” blog.

It seems as though every hour I have has been strictly set for work, school, or church. And truthfully, it is exhausting. I love church and serving at youth, but that’s about it. School has been draining and work has been killing my body. But the other day, I realized something absolutely crazy. For the past week or so, I have been getting ready for the day, driving, doing homework, and eating in SILENCE. Not a single beat of a song. Not even instrumental music!!

For some, this may not seem that big of a deal, but for me, it is HUGE. I like to live my life like I am in a movie. I have songs blasting in my ears almost every hour of the day. But not recently. Why did I start doing this? I have no clue. I didn’t realize it until I finished getting ready one morning and was humming a song, then realized there was nothing playing! I found this to be the case again and again after that. I honestly never thought I would be one who enjoyed silence, but with so much on my mind, and so many to-do’s, silence has become my saving grace. The only time I feel like I can breathe and remember that I am a human being, not a human doing.

After taking the last few days enjoying my silence as I get ready or drive somewhere, I remembered this park I am at now. The one that I use to come to just a few months ago to hear God and just talk with Him, not worrying about any distractions. It honestly ached my heart to realize how long it has been since I last came here.

So this morning, I had no idea I would end up here, but after being denied entry at chapel because they were full, I felt the immediate hunger for these towering trees, perfectly short grass, and countless leaves that often hit me in my face because of the wind. So I stuffed my fat face with some chicken pot pie in the cafeteria and then headed out.

On my way here, again I drove in silence. Somewhat talking to God then singing some worship songs that have been stuck in my head, then talking to Him again. During that time, I realized how easy it is for us to stop prioritizing the things that we say mean the most. I asked God for this job at Chipotle, but not too long after, I spent weeks obsessed with the blessing He gave me, but not Him. The multiple hours a week that I used to spend with Him turned into maybe 3 hours total. I forgot about Him unless I was struggling or coming back from church.

Terrible. I know. But as I found this great value in silence and became more aware of it, I started tuning into His voice more. I began saying short prayers and leaving the rest of the time for Him to speak. And Holy smoking macaroni! It has been so good. It’s not like I heard His literal voice, but I felt His peace. I was reminded of verses I haven’t read in a while. I thought about songs that I often forget the lyrics too. God showed up big time.

His faithfulness is something I knew always existed and I have seen before. But recently, my church has been talking about God being the Good Shepard. The one who will consistently search for His sheep, regardless of how far and long they wander. And wowza. I can joyfully vouch for Him on that. I was so worried and focused on my own things in life, that I didn’t realize how far out I was grazing. But oh what a beautiful and loving God we have. He knows us by name, face, and personality. He seeks nothing but our trust and love.

With silence, God had room to speak. Not room that He had to force me to give Him, but room He gladly filled as I offered it to Him.

Too often we get bombarded with our daily obligations. We get so jam packed with work, school, family, etc. But I pray you do not forget your source of true life. I pray you do not forget your first love.

Silence has never been something I liked, but as I realized the value it can have when I lay it in God’s hands, it has become all that I long for. I may never see a bush on fire while a loud voice speaks my name, but living in silence that is dedicated to God (get that? not just plain old silence, but that in which you intentionally lay in God’s hands) has filled my life in so many more ways than music ever could. It has made my heart more aware of the moment and more sensitive to His guidance.

I am so happy because in the last blog, you can see that I struggled to realize the time has gone so fast that passion week is already here, yet in the last few days, I could not be more joyful that THIS was the lesson God showed me this week.

Easter is just around the corner. Amidst the egg hunting and family visits, I encourage you to make room for God to move and speak to your heart.

Whether you have five minutes or five hours, will you give your heart a chance to rest in the hands of it’s beautiful creator?