christian

I belong to You… – My commitment to Jesus & New Tattoo

christian, Christian lifestyle, encouragement, lifestyle

“But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light. Once you were not a people, but now you are God’s people; once you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy. Beloved, I urge you as sojourners and exiles to abstain from the passions of the flesh, which wage war against your soul. Keep your conduct among the Gentiles honorable, so that when they speak against you as evildoers, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day of visitation.”
‭‭1 Peter‬ ‭2:9-12‬ ‭ESV‬‬

The moment that girls began stressing about the brand of their jeans, the smoothness of their hair, and how much attention they could get from the guys around them, was the same moment I felt as though I lost all sense of belonging.

Growing up, I was content with who I was. I didn’t know Christ but my young thoughts never ran deep enough to see how unstable the foundation of my identity was. That was until I began hearing the whispers and the giggles of the boys and girls around me as I would walk through the halls of my school.

Belonging. What a simple word yet so complicated to find in one’s personal life.

For years after I gave my life to Christ, the struggle of never feeling like I “fit in” loomed over me like a heavy cloud, blocking any vision of hope. I lived every day surrounded by people, but feeling so uncomfortable and lonely inside. In my head, if I could just buy the right clothes, get my hair to be straight enough, or know when to talk and when to stay silent, I could maybe, just maybe, find a sense of community. A group of people who loved me and thought I was cool. But that group never came.

I am not saying my friends were not good friends or my family lacked in comforting me. I’m saying that regardless of who I met, I was never fulfilled in the way I longed to be. I never felt like I could be myself without carrying the massive weight of my fear of judgement.

During my years of attending church and youth group, I heard over and over again of how personal and authentic our relationship with God should be, but it wasn’t until I hit a deep low in the summer of 2019 that my eyes were opened to what it meant to be a CHILD of God. A chosen, beloved, and redeemed child of the most genuine and compassionate Father.

For the first time in my life, as I fell to my knees during worship, I realized who I was and what I was made for BECAUSE of WHOSE was. It was as though God sat directly beside me, giving me a big hug while I balled my eyes out in front of all of the other students at church camp that summer.

“I belong to you” was now the joyous statement I could proclaim without an ounce of doubt. And the deeper I thought about my identity, the more I found truth in that surrendering.

Iron bell Music has a song with that very title. And by the mercy of God, I am reminded of the walls that crumbled, the chains that broke, and my heart that was lifted into the perfect hands of the Father on that random day at church camp when I broke down in a way I never had before. It was no longer tears of pain, emptiness, anger, and confusion that would flood my eyes every night. It was tears of fulfillment, humility, peace, comfort…and belonging.

After experiencing so many days of joyful belonging in Christ, I realized that this is a statement of surrendering that I NEVER want to let slip my mind for even a minute. My loving Father has done a miracle in my heart. He brought a healing I never thought was possible. And so I am delighted to share with you, the beauty of His grace in my life and cant wait to testify it to every open heart I meet as everything I do, from my heart to my hands, flows from remembering His goodness.

I am not of this world. I was never made to be filled by the brokenness it brings. And even though I may struggle in finding genuine community, I don’t have to feel empty or lonely because I can rest assured that I will always fully belong to my beautiful Heavenly Father.

God-Ordained Identity – Finding Yourself In Jesus

christian, Christian lifestyle, encouragement, lifestyle

The struggle to maintain a stable identity must surely be on the top 10 reasons behind the most regretful actions people take. We live in a time where coming to know who you are is seen as a lifelong process. It is as though we become a new person every couple of years. Although, my ever changing Pinterest page would tell you I aspire to be a completely new person every few weeks. The struggle is real. Society has it’s fads and we are often a victim of their lifespan.

This summer will probably go in the books as one of the most aggravating summers in history. After a crazy pandemic, with all the “hiring now” signs, you’d think finding a job would be easy. Well, such was not the case. I applied to 27 jobs. Two of them responded. After interviewing with both companies, due to my short time left before college, they told me “we apologize, but we are not looking for temporary workers at the moment.” Crushing. Not only did I waste a full face of make-up products, a gallon of gas, and sleep (both interviews were at 7am-8am), I also left a large chunk of my pride in the lobby of those restaurants I vowed to never step foot in again due to my embarrassment and rejection.

Unqualified. That’s the word that flooded my mind as I drove in silence back home. Although they told me the rejection was due to my short time-frame of being in town, I was convinced it was much deeper. Maybe it was the way I introduced myself. Or that my laugh was too loud. Or that I hesitated when they asked about my skills. Every potential reason that someone could be rejected for a job is exactly what I told myself happened with me. And just like that, I found it very hard to have sympathy for any business claiming they are short staffed. I knew I shouldn’t have grown bitter, but I did.

A few thousand years ago, there was a king who experienced a similar event, he was rejected. His name was David. He asked a fellow man in power if he would be so kind and supply some food and water to his people. When the man, Nabal, heard David’s request, not only did he deny it, but he humiliated him. He asked his people “Who is this David? Who is this son of Jesse? Many servants are breaking away from their masters these days. Why should I take my bread and water, and the meat I have slaughtered for my shearers, and give it to men coming from who knows where?” Ouch. In response, David prepared to have a comeback. He and 400 soldiers went on their way to kill Nabal and his family. Yet their trek was put on pause as a woman by the name of Abigail intervened. She was the wife of Nabal. Rather than trying to justify the actions of her husband, she empathized with David. She explained how Nabal is a fool in all aspects of his life, including at home with her. She reminded him of the work God has done through him and reminded him of His value to God. No longer did the weight of rejection have to loom over David’s head because Abigail reminded him of the only truth that mattered. God’s truth. She put her life on the line so that her husband and friends did not have to die. In the words of Lysa TerKeurst, Abigail “spoke her words of truth in the tone of grace.”

After experiencing rejection from the 25 jobs that refused to even call me back on top of the 2 that claimed two months was too short of a time, I was struggling to believe that I had value in any company. My hopes of getting an internship in the media field this school year were crushed. I had a small list of companies I wanted to reach out to but for weeks after those rejections, I told myself there was no point. In my hurt, I allowed others to tell me who I was.

But thank goodness our God cares for us even when we give our identity to the world. When we find ourselves in what others say about us, we lose our sense of worth. Like David, we push away all that we knew and resort to bitterness. No longer do the words of scripture matter to us because we allow the temptation of anger and resentment to take over the moment we encounter someone who was rude to us, or in my case, didn’t give me what I thought I needed.

It is no easy task to constantly remind yourself of God’s truth. Because in all honesty, the conviction that comes with it can hurt. But as we look at stories that reveal the power of the truth in our consistent God, like that of Abigail and David, it becomes clear that who we think we are affects what we do, and what we do REALLY matters. God calls us to live set apart. He calls us to be peace makers and share His love with humility. It is typically when we try to push for the things WE think we need, that we find ourselves burdened by the opinions of others.

In a time where the world is tempting you to find yourself in thousands of different things during your journey of life, we have to realize our identity is too important to be unstable. Because all we do flows from who we aim to be deep down, it is undoubtedly one of the most important things we as Christians need to surrender to God as our source.

It may feel good to be bitter in the moment as we try to justify ourselves. But in the long run, the weight begins to add up and it only leads you farther and farther from the great plans God has for you. He wants you to live loved so you can share it with others. Sweet friend, the next time the enemy tempts you to grow anything but love, grace, and forgiveness towards those who hurt you, remind yourself of who you are in God’s eyes. Remembering is the way in which we can be filled in a circumstance that tries to drain you. It is through that discipline that we can take life step by step in the way God designed us to. You have a God-ordained identity. Do not trade it for the unstable worlds’ opinion.

Unapologetic Praise – Worship without Worry

christian, Christian lifestyle, encouragement, Worship

How often do you allow your heart to be fully expressed through your body?

Often times when people gather as a congregation for a worship service, there is a wide range of feelings and expressions going on. Some sing as though they are pouring out their heart to Him with hands raised and eyes closed. Some jump for joy as they try to sing through their smile that goes from ear to ear. And some stand in place as they softly sing out the words, intently soaking in the moment.

As someone who has attended multiple different denominations of churches, I have begun to realize how legalistic some congregations view worship.

“You shouldn’t raise your hands because there is an unspoken agreement that it’s weird. You shouldn’t clap while bopping too much because you look immature. And don’t even get me started about moving your whole body at once in an excited dance while shouting the lyrics…”

It genuinely breaks my heart that this is the way in which some churches raise their congregation. Now I completely understand that people have different ways to show their surrendering to God, but I do not care what denomination you are or how long you’ve been a Christian…it is never your place to judge another person’s way of singing and worshipping God.

Scripture tells us time and time again that we ought to sing (Psalm 146:2), lift our hands (1 Timothy 2:8), dance (2 Samuel 6:14), clap (Psalm 47:1), bow (Nehemiah 8:6), etc. when we worship and praise God. But more importantly than deciding your form of worship is making sure that whichever way you choose to go about singing and praising, remains genuine and true. Your outward expressions should be a reflection of your inward submission to God.

God designed us to worship Him. Our bodies were made to glorify His name in every possible way. And the way in which you worship should be unapologetic.

A few weeks ago, I saw the movie about Elvis. It was so good. However, the way he was treated by society hurt me as it reminded me of how many times I have been in a worship service and seen members of the church scoff or mock another because of their actions. Elvis was a shock to the music industry because he moved like no other. The music, that which his passion came from, seemingly rushed through every vain in his body, preventing Him from holding back His enthusiasm.

Far too often I feel as though many of us allow fear of judgement or confidence in our intentions stop us from fully pouring out our heart to God. We may mean every word we say, but a small 20% of our attention deep down is focused on keeping our arms by out side until someone next to us lifts theirs, or until the chorus starts where you know many others will join you.

Dear friend, God did not give you a spirit of fear. He intricately crafted you to proudly worship Him. Isaiah 43:21 says, “The people whom I formed for myself that they might declare my praise.” Do not allow the enemy to plant worry in your mind when God already swiped you clean of sin’s grasp.

One of the many things I love about God is that He is a God of all nations. Whether you have been out of the country or not, I am sure you have met others or heard of people groups that are completely different than you. And if you ever had the experience of celebrating anything with them, you can tell their music is often much different. If the diversity of humanity alone isn’t astonishing to you, I don’t know what could be. Their food is different. Their clothes are different. And yes, their worship can often be different as well.

But that does not mean they are wrong in any way. 1 Chronicles 16:23 says, “Sing to the Lord, all the earth; proclaim his salvation day after day.” God knew there would be difference. And much like our need to seek joy in the differences/changes of life, we too must seek joy in the difference among ourselves.

Worship is for the clapper. For the shouter. For the soft singer. For the dancer. For the hand raiser. Dear friend, worship is for ALL. As the rocks cry out in silence, the birds chirp in glory, and the mountains bow in reverence, may you have the confidence to let worship be what flows through every inch of your body, beginning in your heart.

Pursue a life of unapologetic praise. And tell the enemy that because of the victory Christ already claimed, you will worship without worry forever and ever, amen.

What a beauty and gift it is to be free and ourselves in front of the Father. Here are some verses to encourage you as you learn to fully express that which flows through your heart:

2 Samuel 6:14  And David danced before the Lord with all his might. And David was wearing a linen ephod.

Psalm 149:3 Let them praise his name with dancing, making melody to him with tambourine and lyre!

Psalm 134:2 Lift up your hands to the holy place and bless the Lord!

1 Timothy 2:8 I desire then that in every place the men should pray, lifting holy hands without anger or quarreling;

Psalm 95:6 Come, let us worship and bow down, Let us kneel before the Lord our Maker.

Psalm 47:1 To the choirmaster. A Psalm of the Sons of Korah. Clap your hands, all peoples! Shout to God with loud songs of joy!

Psalm 71:8 My mouth is filled with Your praise and with Your glory all day long.

Exodus 15: 20 Then Miriam the prophet, Aaron’s sister, took a timbrel in her hand, and all the women followed her, with timbrels and dancing. 21 Miriam sang to them: “Sing to the LORD, for he is highly exalted. Both horse and driver he has hurled into the sea.”

Nehemiah 8:6
Then Ezra blessed the Lord the great God. And all the people answered, “Amen, Amen!” while lifting up their hands; then they bowed low and worshiped the Lord with their faces to the ground.

Cultivating Change – Our God is a God of New Beginnings

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“Time grows the seeds that are planted, watered, and fertilized. Plant beauty, grow beauty. Plant thorns, grow thorns. Time will allow for either.”

I have been reading this book for the last few weeks and I came across this incredible quote. Recently, the topic of change and its necessity in our lives as Christians has been discussed a lot. When the rug is swiped out from under your feet and all you knew has become far from being the norm again, what is the seed of change you begin to plant?

Is it bitterness towards those who hurt you? Is it emptiness from the loss? Is it denial and ignorance towards difficulties?

OR…is it compassion towards your enemies? Hope in God’s ability to turn grief into glory? Or confidence in the victories God has already claimed He won?

When that moment of inevitable change in our life comes, we cannot allow ourselves to sulk or grow angry in the difference, rather rejoice in our God of new beginnings.

Before I evaluate the circumstance I just experienced, I try to remind myself of the circumstance between me and God. I sinned. A LOT. Meaning, I straight up disobeyed God a billion times over, each time basically stabbing Him in the heart. Yet what did God do? Well based on my alive and healthy body sipping a matcha latte as I write this, He sure didn’t give up and smote me. Rather, He allowed me to be made knew. He gave me a restart. And He allowed me live the rest of my life free from the bondage of my past. He planted a seed of freedom in my heart and every day since, He has not failed to cultivate it kindly so that the harvest I produce is the fruit of a free and beloved child of God.

Once I force myself to remember my compassionate God’s reaction to me doing everything He DIDN’T want me to do, I then look back and think about my circumstance with the people or life that did everything I DIDN’T want them to do. And that heavy feeling from the bitterness I initially had has turned into conviction.

My friend, I know genuinely wanting a desire for change that is biblical is not easy nor appealing in most cases. It feels so much better to take the judgement of others into your own hand and justify yourself in the process because our heart longs for instant gratification. But what happens after you tell off the person who hurt you? Or you seclude yourself in your room for months, sulking about the past? Or you have grown a mixture of numbness and fear towards difficult circumstances to the point where you are constantly running from things or kicking them under the rug in hopes of their disappearance? From someone who has done all three of these and so much more…the good feeling never lasts.

God designed our hearts to not only be loved, but to express love. We were crafted so that we may connect with others and build a community of respect and care towards one another. But too often, we lose track of who we were made to be and how we were made to act.

Ephesians 6:12 states, “For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.”

Our enemy is not really other humans. And for those who have a habit of collecting all the blame…your enemy is not really yourself either. Hurt may be inflicted on us by people or even ourselves and our mistakes, but we cannot allow our emotions in the heat of the moment be what guides us. God seeks for us to do one thing; honor Him in all circumstances.

The book I have been referring to states:

“We must speak with honor in the midst of being dishonored. We must speak with peace in the midst of being threatened. We must speak of good things in the midst of a bad situation. We must be obedient to, trust, and believe God and let Him boss around our contrary feelings.”

If there is one thing I encourage you to pursue with all your heart (in light of your full pursuit towards God of course), it is to learn how to say no to your heart and flesh. The world will tell you, “do what your heart desires”, but scripture tells us to deny ourselves because any foundation besides Christ is as unstable as shifting sands.

So when situations arise that seem to flip your world upside down, remind yourself of the One you live for. Dive so deep into God’s truth and guidance that your feelings of bitterness and such have no chance of growth because they are so overwhelmed by the compassion, grace, and forgiveness you allow God to fill you with.

There is a perfect Gardener who wants to give you free seeds that will produce the absolute best for your future. He offers them to you daily, but it is up to you to accept His seeds and take the time to cultivate them. As you do, He remains there alongside you so that in your times of weakness, you can rely on Him to keep you steady. That Gardener’s name is Jehovah Shammah; the Lord is present. (Ezekiel 48:35)

What a beautiful gift it is to live with the opportunity to start fresh. Today can be Day 1 of a new beginning, one that God promises to be present during if you allow Him.

But much like the process of cultivating a seed, cultivating change will take watering, waiting, tilling, and consistent attention. And that means any seed. Love or bitterness.

So, which gardener will you get your next seed from…the enemy, filling your heart with anger and pride or Jehovah Shammah, wanting only the best for you?

Dear Weary Traveler…HE is still God.

christian, Christian lifestyle, encouragement, lifestyle

I have come to realize that the “advice” for the weary Christian is to have hope in what is to come, that being, eternity with God in Heaven. Now, don’t get me wrong. That is amazing and it is what our greatest hope should be. But for the longest time, I found it so hard to believe that was the only hope out there for those who struggle a little more than others to find the joy or purpose in things or even themselves. But dear weary traveler, I am here to tell you that I think I have found a hope that can be experienced…well…as soon as you want.

A few days ago I was doing my usual workout with my worship playlist going on in the background. Yes, MY worship playlist. Meaning I have heard all of these songs before…but yet again, God opened the door for a new perspective. The song “Still God” by Anna Golden began to play. I had a lot on my mind as I was working out, but as I laid on the floor trying to catch my breath for the short 15 seconds between my reps, I caught of a small piece of these lyrics playing in the background. And lets just say, those 15 seconds turned into 7 minutes and 15 seconds of sitting in awe of this beautiful song.

I highly encourage you to listen to it then finish reading this. Nevertheless, as I listened closely to the lyrics of this song, I noticed for the first time, there may be a slice of hope for those with heavy hearts besides Heaven.

God is still God.

Literal chills. Regardless of how much this world changes, or how much pain you experience, or how much doubt you build up about your Christ-bought identity…He is still God.

In order to understand the weight of this simple phrase, it is critical that you first understand who God is and how He is with His beloved (aka. you, me, and everyone else before and after us). You must build a confidence in God being all He says He is…our sustainer (Psalm 54:4), light (1 John 1:5), refuge (Psalm 62:7-8), consistent (Malachi 3:6), merciful (Deuteronomy 4:31), compassionate (Psalm 116:5), all-loving (Romans 5:8), savior (John 15:13/John 3:16)…and so on.

Why is this so important? Because there is a 100% chance that your life will be filled with changing seasons. Some will be amazing, some will be terrible and heart wrenching. And sadly, because of the sinful world we live in, sometimes we will never experience healing or redemption for things until we are in Heaven. BUT I have good news for you. Weary traveler…you may have to wait until heaven for your depression to be gone or your anxiety to cease or your sickness to heal, but you do NOT have to wait until heaven for your heart to be cared for in the way it was designed to be.

God is still God. In your hurting. In your victories. In your failures. In your diseases. In your proudest moments. In your confusion. In your anxiety. In your fear. In your career change. In your dream college. In your financial problems. In your grief. In your everything. He does not change and He does not leave.

So whether you are on a mountain top or in the deepest of valleys, there is always a God waiting for you to lean on Him so that you may find contentment and know that there is a good truth that never changes, regardless of what your feelings may tell you.

As I was talking with the middle/high school girls at church yesterday, the conversation of God turning bad things into glorifying things arose. And I thought it was important to mention there, and here, that God is not the one who brings trials or burdens into your life. That is the symptom of living in a broken world with broken people. That includes life-long struggles like depression, loneliness, anger, anxiety, and etc. But just like He turned the bad things into good throughout the Bible, look at stories like Joseph in Genesis, He is fully capable and wanting to turn your biggest struggles into something that glorifies Him and is good for you.

What was discussed in our conversation last night was how many times our pains and rough experiences connect us with one another. Christians do not gather to celebrate their perfection. We gather to celebrate a God who is perfect yet still somehow loves all of us who are broken.

So weary traveler…you are not alone. There is a hope more immediate than Heaven. But the only way to experience that and receive it is to be real. Be vulnerable about what you are enduring. There is no shame in our brokenness because of the mercy and grace of God. And most of all, dig deep into learning about who God is so that when the your heart feels so empty yet so heavy, you can rest and be comforted by the hope that God is STILL God.

He is still the ultimate healer. He still loves you unconditionally. He is still the God who does miracles. He still cares for you and cries alongside you. He is still the God who brings hope in the hardest of storms. He still identifies you as redeemed and beloved.

Our life’s purpose is not to be happy as we strive for success in the world’s eyes, but to be joyful as we glorify the Lord wherever and however He calls us.

He is still God, so my fellow weary traveler…may we build our life on this when everything around us seems hopeless.