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“I believe, but help my unbelief!” – Giving Your Doubt To God

christian, encouragement, lifestyle

There once was a father who had faith…but also fear. Sound familiar? It is so easy to say that we have faith in things when God’s grace is so evident in our lives. But what happens when that hope in His grace begins to turn into something you easily KNOW but struggle to BELIEVE?

I’d love to share the story behind the quote in the title.

In the book of Mark, Jesus enters a land where there is great pain. A father’s heart breaks as his faith in the healing of his son grows less and less. His son struggled with a demonic spirit. He had seizures that would inflict harm towards himself and he was unable to speak. This man already sought help from people with a seemingly great reputation, the disciples, but even they could not bring healing to the son. But when the father met Jesus, he pleaded for help again.

How beautiful is this mans faith? After years of his son being possessed by this unclean spirit, witnessing countless failed attempts to bring healing, including that by the men who walked alongside Jesus, he never gave up. He knew the authority of Christ and chose to let his faith in that truth be stronger than his doubt in this circumstance. May we strive to have a faith-filled and hopeful heart as persistent as this father.

After showing his son to Jesus, the man said, “But if you can do anything, have compassion on us and help us.” My first thought of the father’s request was that he did not understand the power of Christ, but as I read on, I realize this statement of “if you can” meant something totally different.

As we look back at how He first addressed Jesus, he calls Him “teacher”, acknowledging His authority. He also seeks help from His closest followers, whom we know were no where near perfect, showing His faith in Jesus’ teachings. He then brings his burdens to Jesus’ feet as he cries out to him even after the failure of His disciples. This “if you can” was most certainly not a rejection of the power of Christ, rather a plea for the blessing and grace from the God who freed the Jews from Egypt, fulfilled the promise to Abraham and Sarah, and entered this world in flesh and blood to bring eternal hope to all.

Yet what I find most heart warming about this whole thing is the response Jesus gives as this man lays all he has in front of Him. It is not shaming. It is not confusing. It is not dismissive. He says straight to the man, “if you can believe, all things are possible to him who believes.” Instead of rebuking Him for his “if you can” statement, he simply asks him to believe, if he can.

CHILLS. How crazy is it to be reminded of the true power of our God? This world throws trials and burdens at us all day long, yet Jesus never fails to calm us with His comforting, sovereign presence. Right? Well, it is true that Jesus has that power, but it is not always that easy to put our full trust in it. How the man replies to Him, I feel, perfectly reveals the struggle of being human and a Christian. Considering there is so much about God that we will never fully understand with our limited minds, it is so easy for doubt to seep through the cracks of our faith.

So here this father was, with a heart so very heavy for his son, crying out to Christ in tears…”I believe, but help my unbelief!”

Wow. I don’t know about you, but this small plea hit me like a canon in my chest. It reminded me of the times I was confused about whether my doubt or fear in certain situations meant my faith was not good enough. Or the times where I convinced myself to just numb the pain so that I did not feel any uncertainties. It was as if my thoughts and feelings were finally put into words that formed a sentence perfectly portraying them.

I believe in Jesus as the Christ and His power, but in times of great trials, I need help to overcome the temptation of fear. And clearly from this passage, alongside many others in the Bible, Jesus offers his comforting presence and gracious blessings with just one catch…you must choose to believe. Whether or not your heart experiences the overwhelming peace of God is your decision. Just as joy is a choice, a gift in which requires genuine desire and discipline, hope is a choice as well. And with all of these, humility must be at the source. The humility that this man showed Jesus as he lamented so beautifully, is the only way in which one can empty their heart enough so there is room for it to be filled with all God seeks to give.

https://thegracestreetblog.wordpress.com/2022/02/18/come-as-you-are-for-the-non-life-long-believers/
Read About Coming To God With A Humble Heart, Honoring Your Pain In Life As Well As God’s Authority !!

I love this quote from Spurgeon, “While men have no faith, they are unconscious of their unbelief; but, as soon as they get a little faith, then they begin to be conscious of the greatness of their unbelief.”

Ignorance can be bliss for only so long. I would argue that the joy of experiencing the growth in a relationship with God is far greater than any joy that bliss could bring. The man in this story showed us that it is possible to have faith and doubt. I am sure many of you can relate very closely with him on this, as can I. But what he also showed us, is that we should not remain in that position of little faith. We should seek to overcome our worries and hopelessness with the presence of God in our hearts.

His son was probably very cherished and loved by him. It must have been hard to bring awareness of the issue at hand. But just like he came to Christ with an honest and humble heart, seeking nothing but His compassion, for he knew Jesus was all things good, we must do the same.

We all have situations in our life that we rather not bring into the light. Maybe you numb the pain with hopelessness. Or maybe you hide your doubts with a “faith on fire” mask. Whatever it is that you do, however it is that you are, none of us are perfect. God promises that His actions are for our good and His glory. But we will not experience this without being completely honest and humble with the Lord. Bring those things that you desperately cling to and are losing hope in to the foot of the Cross.

Let God be your provider, Jehovah Jireh. Your healer, Jehovah Rapha. The One whom your KNOW you can come to with faith as small as a mustard seed and BELIEVE He will do the impossible.

It is not always easy to expose our unbelief. Sometimes you will open up to people with your worries or doubts and they will respond with shaming you, but allow me to remind and encourage you that our God will never do that. He longs for a genuine relationship with you. His love for you does not grow any more or any less depending on what you do. But the extent of how much joy, peace, hope, love, comfort, and strength you actually feel and rest assured in, is completely based on how much you allow God to move in you. Like this man laid His greatest possession, his son, at the feet of Jesus and experienced a miracle He had some unbelief in, we should follow this course of action.

So as you go about your day, week, months, and years, I pray you learn to come to God as you are. Even if you have unbelief, let the belief you do have keep you steady towards God so that He may help you overcome your burdens. There is so much power in prayer, not because of the amount of our faith, but because of the one whom we are speaking to.

At the end of this story, the disciples ask Jesus why they were unable to cast out the demon from the son. He replied to them saying, “This kind cannot be driven out by anything but prayer.”

Let the father’s humility, Jesus’ responses, and the wisdom-seeking heart of the disciples lead your response as you face the various trials of life.

Elohim Shomri – God as our Protector In The Wake Of War

christian, lifestyle

I was going to write about the power of prayer and how God, Jehovah Jireh, is our ultimate provider. But as my heart is shattered by those being hurt as we speak in Ukraine, I will still hit on it, yet be a little more focused around how our response should be in times like these.

Elohim Shomri is one of the Hebrew names given to God. It means “my protector”. Over the course of reading this book called “The Circle Maker”, which is about the true power of prayer, I have come to the conclusion that prayer and praise should become our instinct as we live in a world as broken as ours.

I am sure by now you have heard about the conflict between Ukraine and Russia. And in case you have not been caught up, Ukraine is currently being attacked with missiles and such. Thousands are stuck in traffic as they attempt to flee while others remain barricaded in their homes.

How crushing. But a sympathetic heart is not the farthest Christians can go. When we have problems that we know are out of our reach, we turn to God. This course of action should not remain within the margins of just our lives or the ones around us. When you choose to follow a God who is known as love, peace, life, goodness, hope, healing, etc. wouldn’t you want Him to flood this world with all He is?

The people of Ukraine need peace and healing.The people of Russia need peace and a softened heart. May I remind you, our God is exactly those things. So if you would, take a few minutes of your day and pray for both Ukraine and Russia. If I can teach you anything with these blogs, I pray it is to seek a heart that reflects that of God’s. The world want’s us to choose sides. To determine who is bad and who is good. To decide who gets our prayers and who doesn’t. This mentality could not be more wrong. The judge of justice belongs to no one but God.

This world and everyone/thing in it, needs Jesus. Just in different ways.

I want to tell you about a story where a hurting and lost people group put on nothing but the armor of God to win over a land much bigger, stronger, and wealthier than themselves. This is the story of a man named Joshua, a people known as the Jews, and a city called Jericho.

After spending what seemed like forever in the wilderness, the Jewish people were finally coming close to their promised land by God. There was only one catch. The land of Canaan, which Jericho was a part of, was mighty and huge, and the Jews had a lot of people, but were no where near as strong as the Canaanites. The leader of the Jews, after Moses, was a man named Joshua. When they came to the edge of the Promise Land, Joshua was visited by an Angel. He asked who’s side the Angel was on, expecting Him to say that of the Jews, but the Angel responded, “No. I am the Commander of the Lord’s army”.

Before continuing on, I would just like to point out the fact that God sent an Angel in which perfectly portrayed His heart. The Lord stands for Justice, not a certain people group over another.

Moving on, Joshua was with the Jews, wondering how exactly they were supposed to take over Canaan. Then suddenly, God told Him, “See, I have given Jericho into your hand, with its king and mighty men of valor. You shall march around the city.” – for the sake of time, I am going to summarize the rest. God told Joshua to lead all of the Jews around the city walls for 7 days. They were to march silently, with only the trumpets blowing, once a day for 6 days and then 7 times on the 7th day, shouting only after the last lap. And so they did. Waking up each day, their voices silent but their hearts roaring with hope and faith as they made one lap…then two, then three…then on the last day, the remaining 7 laps. And as Joshua raised His voice for the people to shout, the terribly huge walls of Jericho came crumbling down.

God heard His people’s cries in anguish and saw the justice needing to be served against the Canaanites. He delivered them out of slavery from Egypt and has shown them the land in which He promised Abraham that his descendants would one day inhabit.

What a beautiful story of obedience, hope, and our promise-keeping God. These people trusted that God knew what He was doing and had all authority to maintain His word. With hearts full of hope, and although it does not mention prayer, I have to agree with the author of “The Circle Maker” that they were most likely in desperate conversations with the Lord during each lap, pleading their time in the wilderness would come to an end.

As we look back at this story of the “battle” of Jericho, we see that when we let God take the judge seat at the court of justice and the commander position in our fights, there is no reason to doubt that His presence will be seen. This is not to say we will always see a literal victory over our enemy, like Ukraine is trying to stand against Russia. It simply means that the hope we have is everlasting. That one day, either now or when Jesus comes back, we will witness the peace of God trample every ounce of evil.

We live in a world that is so terribly marred by sin. There will be wars won by people who seem to be monsters, there will be lives of the innocent lost, and there will be destruction of cities and countries. But what I am trying to clearly get across is that our hope should not be diminished by any of these things. Why? Because at the end of the day, every smile, laugh, relationship filled with love, and healed wound is evidence of the grace and mercy of God. The fact that we get a chance to be redeemed is grace far greater than we could ever deserve. And honestly, I believe that praying and praising is the only way in which we can direct our vision to be sensitive to God’s moving hand in the world.

In the story about Joshua, before the walls even began shaking, he said to the Jews, ” Shout, for the Lord has GIVEN you the city.” Did you catch that? Joshua said God already claimed victory for the Jews before the people even took the deep breath to prepare their shout. Chills. Literal chills. This is the heart full of praise that we should be seeking to reflect.

So now we come to modern day. The day I felt the weight to talk about this was yesterday, as I was eating a “cup of dirt” (chocolate pudding with Oreo crumbles and gummy worms) from my cafeteria and came across a post on Instagram. It was a picture of a man covered in dirt and rubble as He was trying to flee from the building he just got hit with an airstrike in. I looked at the picture, then I looked at my silly little dessert and I thought, “here I am, eating a funny little ‘cup of dirt’, while this man across the world is covered in dirt, trying to run for his life after doing nothing wrong.” It crushed me. How blessed are we to live in the United States? How blessed am I to know a God that fills me with peace, comfort, and hope in times of fear?

With that, I could not just pass over the post. Which brings me here. I believe prayer is powerful. And I believe when 2 or more Children of God come together to pray about something, miracles happen. So I am asking that you join me as I cry out to Elohim Shomri, God my protector, to show His presence in the land of Ukraine and in the heart of Russia. To bring peace and safety to those fleeing for their lives as well as a compassionate heart for those sending missiles into an innocent land.

If you would, leave your prayers for Ukraine and Russia in the comments on here or my Instagram. Let the world see how followers of Christ fight our battles and how our God brings justice to conflicting lands.

“Come As You Are” – For the Non & Life-Long Believers

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Come as you are. A phrase so commonly rolled off the tongue as Christians try to capture the forgiving, unconditionally loving, gracious character of the God we serve in just one small sentence. Honestly, I think it is a great phrase, as long as it is followed by, “but do not stay as you are”. This all together shows God is not one whom you can encounter without being impacted with a heavy desire for change. This world is broken in more ways than one could ever count. But so are we.

The moment sin entered the world, our chance at living a perfect life on earth was thrown out the window. But that does not mean God loves us any less. His grace is shown in our every day lives, beginning with us simply waking each morning. And His love is revealed by the blood shed on the cross as well as the overwhelming peace and joy we feel in times of great despair. Never do we HAVE to go a day without His presence in front, behind, and on each side of us. But sometimes, at least in my own life, it feels like we do.

This right here, is what brings so much beauty out of lament.

Earlier last week, I was reading a book and there was a chapter I read that was fully devoted to the word: Lament. I feel like the author captured it’s definition so perfectly. They said, “Lament is to pour out our hearts, holding nothing back. It is to pray without trying to be more full of faith than we actually are. Lament is prayer that honors the honesty of pain and anger while also honoring the truth that God is the one who reigns and whose hesed [This is a Hebrew word. There is a better definition on gotquestions.org than I could ever try to explain.] love never fails.”

I just love this definition of lament so much. We often think as Christians, we must be doing something wrong if we are not constantly filled with the joy and hope of the Spirit. In times of great pain, we feel terrible to question where exactly God is working. But honestly, we shouldn’t hide those feelings. Rather, we should feel comfortable enough to straight up ask.

In the 88th psalm, I believe lament is perfectly portrayed. 

"O Lord, God of my salvation,
    I cry out day and night before you.
2 Let my prayer come before you;
    incline your ear to my cry!
3 For my soul is full of troubles,
    and my life draws near to Sheol.
4 I am counted among those who go down to the pit;
    I am a man who has no strength,
5 like one set loose among the dead,
    like the slain that lie in the grave,
like those whom you remember no more,
    for they are cut off from your hand.
6 You have put me in the depths of the pit,
    in the regions dark and deep.
7 Your wrath lies heavy upon me,
    and you overwhelm me with all your waves. Selah
8 You have caused my companions to shun me;
    you have made me a horror to them.
I am shut in so that I cannot escape;
9     my eye grows dim through sorrow.
Every day I call upon you, O Lord;
    I spread out my hands to you.
10 Do you work wonders for the dead?
    Do the departed rise up to praise you? Selah
11 Is your steadfast love declared in the grave,
    or your faithfulness in Abaddon?
12 Are your wonders known in the darkness,
    or your righteousness in the land of forgetfulness?
13 But I, O Lord, cry to you;
    in the morning my prayer comes before you.
14 O Lord, why do you cast my soul away?
    Why do you hide your face from me?
15 Afflicted and close to death from my youth up,
    I suffer your terrors; I am helpless.
16 Your wrath has swept over me;
    your dreadful assaults destroy me.
17 They surround me like a flood all day long;
    they close in on me together.
18 You have caused my beloved and my friend to shun me;
    my companions have become darkness."

Psalm 88 is very….very sad. But if you look closely at the first verse and the thirteenth verse, there is still a grain of hope and honor in the Lord.

Our God knows we are broken. He knows we will have moments of doubt or confusion or hopelessness. So He offers Himself to us. Freely flooding our hearts with His peace, love, hope, and joy, He does not hesitate to take action in response to our cries. Now this does not mean He will take away the pain for good, or even immediately. As we see the psalmist pray constantly throughout the psalm, each time, still in despair, it is clear that sometimes God’s timing does not match with our desires. Nevertheless, I promise you with all of my heart, He is still listening and moving. This is why finding a quiet place to retreat to often is so critical, as it gives you a chance to devote a given amount of time towards listening to God, and that alone.

Finding Your Quiet Place – Being Silent & Still In a Chaotic World
Check out the last post to see the need we all have for a quiet place with God!

Often times as Christians, we have a great desire to share the Gospel with others so that they might experience His presence. Constantly proclaiming “come as you are” and “God loves you regardless of how your life is at the moment”. Yet when it comes to the lives of other believers, that phrase seemingly no longer applies. It is as if coming up out of the water after baptism had some miraculous power that made us perfect and incapable of being influenced by the brokenness of this world and our human bodies.

News flash. That water is just water. There is no power in anything without God, for HE alone has the capabilities to overcome sin and it’s effects on us. Becoming a follower of Christ is not a decision you make because you want to be blessed for all of your days, it is a decision you make to start a journey because you recognize you can not do this thing called “life” without the giver of it.

So whether you are a non-believer, or have been a Christian for 80 years, come as you are EVERY SINGLE DAY of your life. Seek wisdom. Learn to lament. For this practice of lamenting is how we can become aware of the true character of God and what He is actually doing, many times behind the scenes, to help our situation.

Struggling with hopelessness, anxiety, fear, or despair is a real thing. But just like every other symptom of this sinful world, God does not wish we go through it alone. This way of lamenting gives us the opportunity to be real with God and remain hopeful even when we are suffering.

Another quote that I find quite lovely from the book referenced earlier is: “Lament draws us near to God when we are tempted to turn away.” Wow. How true is that? The enemy’s desire is to do anything and everything that may lead us apart from God. But if we serve an almighty God AND an all-loving God, why on earth would we do anything other than go to Him during our struggles? It is not an easy thing to do, but it is necessary. In times of desperation, we often blame the only one above us, our creator, but we must not ignore the fact that evil exists just as much as good does. If God is love, peace, joy, comfort, compassion, hope, kind, and all things good, the safest place to be is in His arms, because anywhere else is absent of all that He is.

On the flip side, maybe you are not one of those who blame or turn from God in times of despair. Maybe you are similar to I am a lot of times. And so instead of being overwhelmed by a problem, you push it away, far under the rug, hoping it will suffocate and disappear. As the pile under that rug increases, you keep on keeping on with your day as if God is good and you have absolutely no problem seeing that. But I have a word for you…and myself.

God does not want us to be naive or ignorant to the issues around the world and in our lives. We are called to be lights, overcoming the darkness, bringing change that only by the authority of God can we transform the world.

So lift up your cries to the Lord. Let Him fight the battles you have no chance at winning. Just like confession frees us from the guilt of sin, lamenting frees us from the weight of anxiety and hopelessness.

When you pray to the Father today, be honest. But never forget who you are talking to. If you have no idea how you will get through a circumstance, that’s okay. You have a God who wants nothing but goodness for you. Trust in the only one who never fails you. Lay your burdens at His feet and remember that there is a big difference between: Temporary happiness and everlasting joy. Wishful thinking and unshakable hope. Restful days and overwhelming peace of the heart, mind, and soul.

So again I tell you, come as you are, but do not stay as you are. Let the Spirit of God reside in you as you go about your life-long journey of becoming a Christ follower. He hears the cries of His children. But remember, His timing is far greater than our desires. Let God help you to see your life as one to live, not simply to survive.

Finding Your Quiet Place – Being Silent & Still In a Chaotic World

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“Be Still and Know that I am God.”

Psalm 46:10

Growing up, I did everything in my power to avoid silence. Whether it was by humming, playing music, talking (my favorite), or watching a show/movie, I never let more than a few seconds of this “silent” ring run through my ears. However, as I aged, especially in the most recent years, I recognized the crucial need for silence in our walk with God. Actually, I would consider silence to be a package deal with something many people also avoid…stillness.

The google definition of a quiet place is a place in which there is little to no noise. A place radiating with peace and no major disturbances. A place where we can be still.

Last Friday, I needed to read a few chapters of a book for a class, so I decided to go to this park I used to run at last semester. It was never too populated and it was very big, making it the perfect place to read under one of the oddly tall trees. So there I sat, sippin’ on my delicious Matcha latte with just the right amount of vanilla syrup to hide the unbearable bitterness, reading my assigned book about Jesus and the world’s justice issues. As I listened to the breeze rush through the branches above me and the leaves tumble by, I remembered the peace God gave me when I would finish my run and sit on the top of the hill listening to worship music just a few months earlier. It was so graceful seeing all of creation flourish perfectly as I sat on my little toy story themed towel. Then, it got me thinking.

Reflecting back on the life of Jesus, I was intrigued of how serious He took His quiet place. All throughout the Gospels, you can read about the times that Jesus would isolate Himself from the crowds and His disciples to go spend hours alone with the Father. How beautiful. Regardless of how late it may have been, or how busy His day was, Jesus never pushed aside the one whom sent Him to earth with this purpose for salvation.

Matthew 6:6 says, “But when you pray, go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Father who is in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you.”

We were created to be with the Father. But with sin fracturing that original relationship, the only way in which one can experience His presence is through seeking Him, His voice, and the Spirit. What better form of listening can we express than making ourselves quiet and open for whatever He is trying to tell us?

Many, if not all of us, are bombarded by the chaos of life. But I want to share this quote from the book “Whisper” by Mark Batterson. He says “Chronic noise may be the greatest impediment to our spiritual growth.” I couldn’t find this to be more true. I often ask people if they spent time reading the Bible at some point in their day or even just spent time in prayer. If not yes, majority of the responses I receive are, “My day was just really busy”.

We humans have gotten so overwhelmed by the blessings in life, whether it be a job, family, or school, that we so easily forget about the One giving us the Blessing. We dismiss the dire need for community with God because we see the things of this world as having a greater importance or urgency. But if I could leave you with one thing, it would be this: No thing and no one can ever reveal your true purpose and give you genuine life other than God Himself.

When we allow stillness to flood our emotions, bodies, and minds, we give God the opportunity to move in whatever way He pleases. We make room for Him to heal the hurting, mend the broken, fill the empty-hearted, and give peace to the restless.

It is very easy to get caught up in the obligations of this world. And it’s not uncommon to feel drained many days, but I want to encourage you to not let your circumstance or feelings determine your faith and intimacy with God. Deciding to do a devotional every morning and read His word every night has been one of the best decisions I ever made. It has not been easy at all. I have missed some days completely and had some days where I had to reread pages over and over because I was not fully awake. Now I am not saying I hear from God all the time, but when I do, it has been nothing less than transforming. And after reviving the practice of quiet time with God in the park last Friday, I decided that will be my quiet place I visit once a week to simply be still. No noise besides creation, no entertainment besides my Bible, and no company besides God.

As I say often, we were created for one purpose to glorify God. But whatever individual mission we each were given before creation was ever completed, is only attainable and made clear if we tune into the one who created it. May you find this place of stillness, and proactive silent listening. It does not have to be a majestic wonder of the world, it just has to be a place where you can sit with God for however long you have the opportunity to give Him. If you would like to start small, do as I am. Once a week for a couple of hours. Do not underestimate the whisper God can speak over you when you go to a quiet place with Him.

Hope for the Weary- A Short Word.

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This morning I was in my accounting class and my teacher showed us a verse before we began. Galatians 6:9-10.

Both verses are amazing but I want to highlight just this one part “let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season, we will reap”

I have heard this verse a billion times before, but today it hit differently. For the past few weeks, being bombarded with homework and the realization of all the things I need to know before I even THINK about starting my career, I have contemplated how easy it would be to forget about it all and do something I’m naturally good at and doesn’t require so much work.

But here’s the catch. I know -don’t ask how, because I don’t know that- but I know that God has orchestrated my life so specifically so that by the age of 19, I am here…in west palm, studying Christian Community Development in hopes to give hope & healing to the impoverished one day.

The place in which I struggle the most, is somehow the most peaceful place I can be. Not the location. The place in my life. And that right there is what I think we need to hold onto hope for.

This is a hard season of my life, but God has blessed me with so many opportunities to pour His love into others and really lean into Him.

So yes. It’s very tough, but it’s one of the greatest blessings. And if this is where God led me…if you are where God led you…let me encourage you with Galatians 6:9-10.

Whatever you are doing, if it is for the good work God planned for you, do not grow weary. The world may throw all it has at you, but believe me, our God is bigger.