bible

Consistency in Chaos

bible, Christian lifestyle, encouragement, prayer

When life piles up, the circumstances we are in typically end up determining so much more than we may realize. They alter how we hope, what we expect, and how we steward our time. And unfortunately, our faith and relationship with God falls victim to our seasons as well.

But what if that wasn’t how it had to be? What if the consistency in which we long to maintain in our connection and perspective of God could last and stand firm amidst the everchanging uncertainties of life?

In the last few weeks, I have endured quite some change. And allow me to level with you real quick, I absolutely despise change. Or at least major changes. But nonetheless, things happened and my first reaction regarding how it affected my time, energy, and faith in God, was to justify my distracted mind with a saying that I have heard and said a million times before, “When everything settles again, I will get back on track…”

Oh, but that is just it. As we enter into this fall season, school starts again, more holidays come, we join new churches, we live in new places, and we have loads of new responsibilities.

In an attempt to give ourselves peace, we mask our overwhelmed hearts by justifying improper stewardship.

Stewardship is the management of things that do not belong to oneself. I say that because despite the work we do, what we have is ultimately from God, including our time. And what we do with our time is supposed to be for God. So my friend, how is it that you steward your life for His glory?

Because of the lack of accountability we often hold ourselves to, our relationship with God tends to be one of the first priorities in our lives that gets put on hold during changing seasons. Perhaps it is because God will not verbally scold us if we dismiss Him. Or maybe we think we have to come 100% “ready” or it’s pointless. Or honestly, we just think it can wait because…”God understands the pressure we are enduring right now.”

Whatever it may be that excuses our behavior, we live in a culture that promotes “me-time” before “God time”.

Though, I want you to trace back with me and look at the goals we are often pursuing when we build a mindset of believing God can be put on hold…

For me, it’s typically peace. But it could also be a longing for hope in working out the most prevalent things at the moment. Or it could be the desire for grace and acceptance as we begin realizing we have a lot of tasks to do with little time and draining energy. It could be one or all of these things. But my dear friend, I hope you can stop and take a breath as you realize these things; peace, hope, and acceptance, are all abundantly sourced in God first.

Typically, during the weeks preceding major changes, I plan a LOT. Because despite the fact that the majority of things remain outside of my control, an agenda tends to bring a sense of peace in my mind as I name and categorize all of the chaos. This is my skewed idea of stewardship as I seek God through faulty vessels.

Planning is not a sin by any means. But when we go about it in a way that does not first tune into the guidance and wisdom of the Holy Spirit, we are building a foundation of life without the presence of God being invited in. And without His presence, we so easily lose sight of our purpose, identity, and vision of hope.

The high school worship band at my church wrote a song called “Faith of Convenience” with lyrics that will truly make you consider this very discussion.

Could it be, that amidst even the most ordinary parts of our lives…the things we see as simple “everyday responsibilities” have the capability of being stewarded in a way that points to Jesus? And is it possible to remain faithful in our journey with God during the chaos?

I strongly believe so. And with that, my friend, as you begin a new season, or perhaps reevaluate your current one, I challenge you to ask these questions during your planning: Does your life honor God? Does it bring Him glory? Does it push you further in the pursuit of sanctification? Is your quiet time with Him established before all other things?

Consistency in the uncertainty is not impossible. As Christ made His heart and mission known in every aspect of His being, I encourage you that the Holy Spirit can cultivate a transformation that does just that…in the chaos and the mundane.

“Faith of Convenience” – MVMNT Music

The Better More

bible, Christian lifestyle, encouragement

“But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for His own possession that you may proclaim the excellencies of Him who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light. Once you were not a people, but now you are God’s people; once you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy…” – 1 Peter 2:9-10 ESV

More is a word that I am quite familiar with. It is what I have pursued for so long. What I had hoped my future includes. And what I pray so desperately God reveals to me. More of what?

Well…more good grades. More friends. More talent in writing. More popularity for this blog. More opportunities for my dream career. More success. More joy. More moments where I feel so sure God is working in my life…and more and more and more…

I never even considered the weight of a hope for more in our lives until recently. As I spent a week with my high school students at church camp, it was then that I recognized the difference in the more WE pursue versus the more JESUS gives.

What’s humorous about my desire for more in life is that I feel bad to actually receive anything good. I struggle to accept things without taking on the burden of shame and the dreadful feeling of inadequacy. And for so long, I allowed those feelings to dictate what I allowed into my life.

I would work my butt off for a position or opportunity, but when it would be offered, I would turn it down in fear of failing to measure up. I would push myself to step out and make friends, but when they treated me with a lot of care, I made excuses to flee out of fear of failing to be an equally good friend. And I would hold myself accountable to reading scripture and praying daily, but when I struggled with hardships, I stopped in fear of failing to be good enough before God.

The race towards the more I wanted didn’t scare me. But the perfection that was required to keep the more going most certainly did.

And that’s just it. Perhaps the more I was seeking, that was always followed by the fear of my short comings, was the wrong more all along…

All throughout the Bible, the idea that Jesus offers more for us is repeated in countless variations. He claims that the reality where our fear, worries, troubles, and shame holds us enslaved is not the end. Rather, there is more for even the most sinful. The most broken. The most lost. The most prideful. And the most weak.

There is not just more, but there is A more that is not influenced in the slightest by our own abilities or lack there of. Yes, indeed, there is A more that has NOTHING to do with us. The only catch is that it requires surrender.

When I talk to people about Jesus, that word, “surrender” tends to turn many away. And honestly, as a control freak and someone who feels bad to be a burden on others, it is not my favorite word either. To surrender is not only to give up our will and future for another (God’s), but it also means we must be willing to humbly come as we are. Broken, shameful, ridden with sin. And we then must let Jesus be the one who takes our place regarding the consequences of our actions.

At first glance, this is certainly no easy gift to accept with the way my brain works. Perhaps you are in this same boat. Stuck between wanting something beyond this temporary, unsatisfying world, but too prideful to receive the grace of being made new and made for more.

Woah…woah. Yes. I called it pride. Why? Because though it seems harsh, the lies one must have engraved into their head to get to the point I just described above are lies that must be ruthlessly fought with truth.

When we look at life and think of success as more, we begin seeing our failures as the enemy. As we pursue the wrong more, the devil uses shame to turn us against ourselves. Thus making us feel selfish to let anyone else deal with the consequences of OUR actions. And unfortunately, sometimes in our attempt to be selfless, we become self-absorbed. The more we seek for our life is then completely dependent on our own works. That my friend, is a sneaky pride even the most self-aware can miss.

Dane Ortlund in his book Gentle and Lowly said that Jesus offers “a divine kindness too great to be boxed in by what we deserve.”

Believe me, I do not need even one critic to convince myself that I am undeserving of any grace and mercy. My lovely inner voice tells me that enough. But what if that voice and that message of hopeless unworthiness we tell ourselves is the greatest stronghold keeping us from the selfless more that Jesus calls us to live for? Yet the longer we tell ourselves we can only receive what we are deserving of, the longer we hand over our lives into the grip of the one who seeks nothing but to kill and destroy.

There is a more that we were designed to live for. There is a more that our soul desperately longs for, even before knowing the name of Jesus. And there is a more that will not be stripped from our reach because of anything we do or fail to do.

My dear friend, you were made for THAT more. The one that brings hope, life, and most of all, glory to the God who so lovingly knit you and your future together. Though this more requires surrender, it is the gateway to a freedom like no other. A freedom where mercy runs deep and grace knows no bounds.

There is always a more we can pursue…but the one Jesus calls you and I to, is the one where the striving can cease and the vulnerability of your heart can be safely unraveled for the glory of the One most worthy. What more are you seeking?

Commit It All – Surrendering Your Perspective, Present, and Future to God

bible, Christian lifestyle, encouragement

“But I with the voice of thanksgiving
    will sacrifice to You;
what I have vowed I will pay.
    Salvation belongs to the Lord!”

– Jonah 2:9

There was once a man God called out to be the messenger of His salvation in a place called Nineveh. This city was a scary one. They were known for their terrible treatment towards others, especially Israel. To say the least, it seemed like a rather hopeless mission for this one guy to proclaim a truth so far from what the people believed and how they desired to live. Long story short, the man, Jonah, decided to run from God’s call and ended up drowning in the sea. Though this was actually just the beginning of one of the greatest revivals ever. Not just for Nineveh, but for the one with the self-centered perspective as well.

When hearing the story of Jonah and the eventual repentance of the cruel city of Nineveh, it is easy to see their salvation as the main attraction. But I have come to realize, perhaps we missed a very important point in this story. It happens not within the city bounds, but in the belly of the fish Jonah was swallowed by.

The verse stated above was the ending of his prayer to God…

Yes, he said thanks. He gave praise. And crazy enough, he gave surrender. Giving thanks to God in terrible situations has been something we often stumble across in scripture. But I think the most unique part of this verse is the second half.

Jonah surrendered two things to God; his obedience, and the result of that obedience.

As I was thinking about my future a few nights ago, this scripture popped out in a way it never has before. Just last week, my friends did a little breakdown of this passage but even then, it wasn’t clear to me that this verse, or shall I say prayer, was so important.

When a person feels called to something like a career field, it is only natural to get excited about the process and endless possibilities in the future. However, over time, as I have experienced this with writing, I realize that all of the excitement also comes with an overload of anxiety. Whether it be the fear of failure, perfectionism, impatience, or a feeling of inadequacy, when you feel called by God to walk into something so specific, it can be so very taunting.

But what if we began saying this prayer over every feeling of anxiety regarding both the process and future of our call?

What if we not only surrendered our current obedience to God, but also the results to come? It can be hard to relentlessly pursue something in faith when all of the doors seem closed and the call feels like more of a misunderstanding.

The process in which God called Jonah to endure was one that seemed completely irrational. And when God told Jonah to bring a message of life to the ruthless Ninevites, the result God desired was different than that of Jonah’s. Jonah believed these people were too terrible and did not deserve salvation. But after running and witnessing the power of God, Jonah recognized our call is not about our comfort. It is about the love, grace, heart, and truth of God. It is bound by nothing for our God knows no limits. And as long as God is the one empowering us through the process, the end result relies in His will alone.

Whether you feel called to do something life-long, temporary, or for just a few days or weeks, I hope Jonah’s prayer of surrender is one you form a habit of.

Long-suffering is fertile ground for frustration. And unfortunately, because we are not the one who holds the future, we are bound to experience it at some point. But my dear friend, you have the opportunity to tend seeds of hope and faith or seeds of impatience and anxiety. Time will allow for either one to grow, the choice is yours.

From someone who tries to surrender only the obedience in the process but not the result in the future…I assure you, the battle ahead is hard, and certainly not worth fighting on your own. God’s plans are good, beautiful, and unstoppable. The only person you are hurting when trying to take control is yourself.

Living Loved and Leaving the Grave Behind

bible, christian, encouragement, lifestyle

“I am willing…” – Luke 5:13 NIV

This has got to be one of the sweetest things Jesus has said, at least in my opinion.

This was said to a leper. An outcast. A man ignored by society and labeled as unclean, useless, unworthy of any community…a man whom Jesus loved.

Understanding why Jesus loves us so much has been a complicated thing to wrap my head around. He loves us because He chooses to. What compels one to see the rejected and flawed as beautiful and purpose-filled? I could not tell you. But what I can say is that God is so willing and loving despite all that we are.

Yet being broken just like the leper, tax collector, and paralyzed man in Luke 5, why is it that when we come to Jesus and are given a new name, there is a hesitation to leave our grave clothes behind as those 3 men did?

Desperate for God’s Involvement

Could it be a result of not actually wanting healing or perhaps the trouble of unbelief?

The moment the man with leprosy caught a glimpse of Jesus, he collapsed. Not even glancing up towards Jesus’ face, he cried and begged at His feet saying, “Lord if you are willing, you can make me clean.”

This man was desperate for healing and acted out in that desperation. He knew the power and heart of Christ enough to know that He could heal and often would.

But what about in your life? It is critical that we posture ourselves at the feet of Jesus in prayer, putting faith in His power that still moves today and in His heart that we know is abundant in love. As the man offered Jesus access into his situation, Jesus “reached out His hand and touched the man.” What a beautiful joy it is to have a God who steps in and reaches for us.

Through the lepers desperation, Jesus made him new. As someone who finds it quite hard to willingly place myself in a receptive posture, I realize that the new creation God longs for us to become cannot be cultivated unless I give Him access. I know it is hard, but my friend, I pray you see that regardless of whether or not you feel worthy of being loved, God’s goodness is running after you (psalm 23). Not because you did anything to deserve it, but again, because He simply chooses to love.

No longer was the man known as a leper, but rather, he was free to leave that label behind and live clean. May we too be as desperate to leave the grave behind as we are desperate to be healed.

Confidence in God’s Faithfulness

This next passage of scripture is honestly one of the most fascinating events recorded. Jesus was in the middle of His teaching when a few men decided it was now or never for the healing of their friend. With the crowd being impossible to push through, these men put their paralyzed friend on a mat and lowered him down from the ceiling!

These men came to Jesus because they were confident of who He claimed to be. Because of their bold faith, they refused to let this moment pass so they did anything they could to get their friend in Jesus’ presence. Can we just pause for a moment and note that these sweet guys are perfect examples of the kind of friend we ought to become and be looking for.

In response, Jesus saw their hearts and said, “Friend, your sins are forgiven.” Again God brought new life into the lives of the broken. He sees the depth of our desires and when we long for Him, being bold in our faith, He responds with sweet redemption. Yet this was not the end of the story. After being criticized by the pharisees, Jesus reassured the crowd of the truth in His word. The same truth the men from the roof believed; Jesus is the Son of Man and holds the authority to forgive sin and heal physical ailments. And shortly after, He told the paralyzed man, “I tell you, get up, take your mat and go home.” And so he did.

Dear Christian, there will be times where the mountain in front of you seems impossible to get through. But may those moments cause us to reflect back and look up towards our faithful God. Sometimes the goodness in the past or in His word is the only clear thing you can see. But let your confidence never waiver for our God is the same loving and willing God as He was in these two passages.

Receptive of God’s Love

Now we come to one of the hardest passages for me to get through. Levi was a man who was shunned by his community, as the jews did not like the tax collectors because they were labeled as selfish traitor’s. He was just a man living in sin, like you and me. But on one random day, Jesus caught sight of this man and said two words to him, “Follow me.” If that wasn’t surprising enough, in what seems like immediately, verse 28 says, “and Levi got up, left everything and followed Him.”

One common theme we see among each of these stories is the obedience of these men as they encounter Jesus. Every single one of them accepted the grace He gave out. Maybe for you that is very easy. But for me, I struggle to understand how they did such a thing. Not one of them tried to explain themselves, make promises to live perfectly for Jesus as repayment, nor were any of them even recorded asking questions of what to do if they became sick, paralyzed, or rejected again. Instead, they openly received the love and mercy of God and went on testifying His goodness.

After Levi started following Jesus, he threw a big banquet at his house. Among the invited were not pharisees and saint’s, but tax collector’s and other sinners. Though that may make our hearts tender to think about, it made the pharisees all the more mad. But again, Jesus defended His love for us as He said in verse 31-32, “It is not the healthy who need a doctor but the sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance.”

I can only imagine the amount of humility it took to be at that party. The people knew they needed Jesus and were willing to be open to His love, even though they knew they could never repay Him.

May we learn to put aside our worries, doubts, feelings of inadequacy, and any other wall that might block our hearts from giving Jesus full access. He loves because He chooses to. And my dear friend, He is indeed willing to make you new if you let Him in. You may not be fully healed or freed from the things you want in the way you want to, but He will surely work things for your ultimate good and for His glory in His perfect timing.

The life of Jesus was lived out so that we could have a path to salvation, yes, but also for God’s heart to be displayed in front of us, as He stepped out of heaven to be in flesh like us. Delight for He is a sweet savior and thank goodness our circumstances nor brokenness change that truth.

Go ahead, leave those grave clothes where Jesus found you and go on dancing for you have been made new.

The Unexpected Warfare

bible, Christian lifestyle, encouragement

Over the recent weeks, I have taken on the challenge of becoming infatuated with who Jesus is.

As I said in my last blog, I struggle with getting caught up in the works and service I can do for God instead of who He is as my Savior, Lord, and honestly, my everything. So as I have desperately been on a mission to truly fall in love with the being of God, I have realized that it is a lot harder than I thought.

Seeing how great He is and understanding How worthy He is of praise is not the hard part, rather, for me, the most challenging time is when I seek His love and my own flesh tries to stop me.

Sometimes the inner battle stems from a feeling of not being allowed to accept His love. Other times it is because I do not believe I can represent Him well if I actually do receive the beautiful gift of His adoption and grace. And many times, I simply feel as though I have gone too far for too long to even consider living in the love He offers. Ultimately, what I have come to realize is the severity of the warfare in my mind because all that I feel is completely the opposite of all God fights and stands for.

One of the first steps I thought I would take on this mission to refocus my attention on what- or shall I say who – really matters most, was to read the Gospels again.

I have heard people describe them as love letters. Pages of endless grace. Words that not only speak truth, but fill our souls as we allow the Spirit to mold us. So I figured it was a decent place to begin.

This time however, I did not read it as though I have read other books of the Bible; Enduring Word Commentary open alongside 2 other translations and a pile of sticky notes. Instead, I read it like a story. A story of the love my God revealed 2000 years ago as He spoke to confused, hurting, broken people, just like me.

I began with Luke. The only Gospel that was written from a gentile. An outsider. Or at least that was what his people felt like before Jesus. And can I just say, the nuggets of goodness I have experienced during this time was unlike anything else.

But more than anything, what I wish to share with you, as I wait to speak on Luke for when I finish, is this…

Our flesh so desperately longs for more than this world can offer. And for some reason, immediate satisfaction, though temporary, seems to hold a great grip on us. But greater than that hold is the weight of God’s love for us. More than ever I have witnessed the impact of spiritual warfare in the heart of those pursuing a deeper relationship with God. In others and in myself.

But my dear friend, the battle is worth it all. The God who stepped off His throne to “reach out His hand and touch” the one with leprosy (Luke 5:13). The God who left Heaven to reach the nations no one else cared about (4:43). And the very God who laid down His life for the joy of knowing us forever (23:46) is the same God who is fighting for you in this seemingly hopeless battle.

I know this war with ourselves is hard. It is crazy to think that out of all of the things pulling us from God, our own lies we have lived in for so long could be the most powerful stronghold of them all.

Weary traveler, there is hope, and I am sure you know, but I dare you to live like it is attainable. Like the love isn’t just for everyone else. I dare you to die to yourself so that the voice of God can be the one filling your lungs with genuine praise and your heart with unshakable peace.

Perhaps it begins with a baby step. Do not fear, for the Holy Spirit can bring transformation with even just a change in where you turn your eyes.

“When Simon Peter saw this, he fell at Jesus’ knees and said, ‘go away from me, Lord; I am a sinful man…Then Jesus said to Simon, “Do not be afraid; from now on you will fish for people.” – Luke 5:8,10

Beloved Christian, there is a “from now on you will…” for you as well. And Jesus, knowing all that you have and will face, calls you to delight and obey without fear. Your battle is real and strong, I am sure, but the God who loves you so dearly is stronger.