The Grace Street Blog

“You don’t know what you are asking.” – Mark 10:38

I was asked what I wanted to do for the rest of my life when I was in kindergarten. In front of all my peers and their parents during graduation, I was told I had to announce that decision into a microphone. Oh how I wish I would’ve known how that simple act symbolized my life’s pursuit for so many years to come.

In high school, I was directed to choose a focus track that would help me in the career I aspired to have. So for 3 years, my electives were centered around business.

As I entered college, the message from others remained the same. With my A.A already completed in high school, I was thrown into junior level courses at 18 that were all about this big career I was supposed to believe gave me purpose.

Praise the Lord for my patient and supportive professors who ensured the 4-5 times I changed my major in just a year and half. But when graduation finally arrived, there I stood with a degree in communication with a concentration in internet and social media. Thankfully, not with a love for social media or tech or anything else of that matter, but rather with a heart eager to communicate the Gospel that saved my life to anyone willing to listen.

Since I was in kindergarten, the pressure to decide who I was going to become loomed over my head for nearly 2 decades. And for nearly 2 decades, I begged God for my name to be known.

In kindergarten, I wanted to be an actress. As I grew older, the dream kept changing, but the motive rarely did. Whether it was becoming a vet, a business owner, or running a nonprofit, I longed to do something significant. Deep down, I wasn’t just chasing a career, I was chasing the feeling of being known.

All my life, I chased pride and the praise I could get from others. But looking back, I was just a kid following the pressure this culture still puts on us today.

It wasn’t until the end of college that I read a book that changed my life. It spoke to me like the friend I didn’t have. It gently pushed me towards Christ when I thought He was so very angry and disappointed with who I had become.

An author was a dream I unlocked in my freshman year, but never did it seem sustainable, so to the back burner it remained. But I see now, it didn’t need to be my everything or even one of my main focuses at the time.

In Mark 10:35, we encounter a story with two of the disciples and Jesus. James and John walk up to the Christ and ask Him flat out, “We want you to do for us whatever we ask….Let one of us sit at your right and the other at your left in your glory.”

Jesus saw pride and arrogance beaming out the faces of James and John. Yet instead of blatant rebuking, He makes a claim that would’ve left me speechless if I were in the disciples’ sandals.

“You don’t know what you are asking.”

To them, following Jesus was important. But so was their desire to be praised. Letting that hunger for recognition take over, they seemed to have no perspective change when Jesus hints to them that what they seek is not at all what a life for God is about.

I knew about Jesus by the time I was in 5th grade. But the knowledge of Him did not change my heart’s desire to be seen. The great pursuit of purpose through a career continued until I hit college and recognized the way of Jesus was not just humble to leave us in gratitude of what He’s done. But His character and way of living was a model to the values and priorities we were to have as lovers of Him and followers eager to point others to the One who saved us.

Jesus made it clear in verses 42-45 that we as human beings have so much deeper of a purpose than receiving applause from those around us.

“Jesus called them together and said, ‘You know that those who are regarded as rulers of the Gentiles Lord it over them, and their high officials exercise authority over them. Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be slave of all. For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life as a ransom for many.”

To love and to serve.

That is what our lives were designed to be about. We may get told growing up that we can accomplish anything we set our minds to. But unfortunately, the majority of the time, this advice is referring to a dream career. Not character. Not heart posture. But a job.

As a teacher, I emphasize the importance of studies and preparing for a future job quite a bit. But one of my greatest desires for every student that walks into my class is not just an “A” on their report card, but a character they are proud to have. A personality and lifestyle that reflects a humble, loving, caring, and selfless heart. And for those who do not know of Jesus, I hope they find Him in their pursuit of what true love looks like.

My dear friend, a job takes up so much of our time, but Jesus should be the one who takes up all of your heart. Having your name known looks good from a distance, but the spotlight drains the life from you quickly as you exert every last ounce of effort to please this unsatisfied world. More will always be pulled from you until you have nothing left. Knowing that, Jesus calls us to the better way. The better path to the only “more” that will truly satisfy us while simultaneously fill those around us. And what more to life could we aspire to do than replicate the selfless nature of the One who saved us?

Thoughts to Consider:

How would your daily decisions change if your greatest goal was to love and serve rather than achieve and be noticed?

What opportunities has God already placed before you today to love and serve others?

What would it look like to surrender your desire to be known and instead focus on knowing Christ?

Consider what it would look like to believe that Jesus invites us into something better than the fading things of the material world; to spend our lives loving, serving, and becoming more like Him.

“You don’t know what you are asking.” – Mark 10:38