“The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make His face shine on you and be gracious to you; the Lord turn His face toward you and give you peace.” – Numbers 6:24-26

Devotion is such a strange concept. As we battle pride every day, it is difficult to joyfully claim we want to “devote” ourselves to something unless we know it will be highly successful. The meaning of this term is to give up a great portion of one of our most valuable possessions; time. As difficult as it can be to willingly choose to live devoted to something like the way of Jesus, we live devoted to something everyday whether we intend to or not. What we prioritize, focus on, and spend much time mastering or working at is what we devote our lives to. Maybe not your whole life, but definitely the season of life you are in now.

Pride, however, can create a conflict in our minds as we long to be the dictator of our own life while simultaneously hunger to be a part of something greater than ourselves. To leave a mark that lasts far beyond our last breath.

When I was in 5th grade, I was accepted into a middle school that was focused on marine biology. I was set on that being my future career. But after having to attend a different middle school, I was introduced to a lot of nonprofits. The work that I saw Christian leaders do through running organizations for the benefit of those in need around the world became my everything. I went into high school with the belief I would start the next being faith-based nonprofit of my generation. And when my high school launched a business track in place of our electives, I took that route all the way through senior year. I graduated high school having completed that track alongside an associates degree in organizational management. Then I went to college and was challenged more spiritually than ever before.

After only a year and a half, I had changed my major countless times from intercultural studies, to journalism, to business, to Christian community development, until I finally settled with communication and a concentration in internet and social media.

Growing up, I always knew what I wanted to do. And even when plans changed, it was never on a whim or without thought. I had reasons and dreams outlined behind every decision to change what I wanted to spend the rest of my life doing. But I can’t promise you that I had prayer behind those choices.

I felt the inclination to pursue writing early into college. The creation of this blog really helped me confirm my love for it. But in the back of my mind, I could not fully commit to it. I always had to have a backup plan, and that was evident in my indecisiveness regarding what I was studying.

But after college tested, crumbled, and eventually led me to rebuild my relationship with Jesus, I came to the realization that what I studied was not the dictator of my life. As a lover of knowledge, I had discovered how much I idolized my studies. Not for good grades but rather for the ability to feel prepared for the next step in life. The ability to overcome my great fear of inadequacy. Specifically, inadequacy in what I grew up hearing the world say our “everything” was supposed to be; our career.

I was so very devoted. But not out of joy. More so, out of fear of what would happen if I wasn’t dedicated and disciplined.

Isn’t that strange? I hungered for full control over my future. But I let every second of my younger years be directed by fear.

We as humans were created to worship. To live for something greater. But unfortunately, we are not born with the understanding that what we long for is completely satisfied in Christ. So we grow up spending years and even decades trying to maintain control while we slowly give more and more of ourselves to what we hear everyone tells us means the most. Sometimes that looks like pursuing money through a successful job. Or maybe it looks like finding a partner to quickly marry and build a family with. Or perhaps it looks like obtaining great knowledge through countless degrees, internships, trade schools, etc. And for the Christian desperate to leave a mark in vocational ministry, maybe that looks like building a church overflowing each weekend, spending years overseas on mission, or creating trending worship songs.

Whatever it is that we feel we have been called to spend our lives doing, we must not forget that our devotion first belongs to the Lord. Yes, God gives each of us different talents. But that is not to take first priority over Him.

As I read Numbers 6 this morning, my eyes were opened to the “why” behind a Christian’s devotion.

This chapter begins with the Nazirite vow. This is a commitment an Israelite person could make for a period of time to dedicate themselves wholly to God. There were strict rules to follow with this, and if they were broken, the person would have to restart the process.

Looking at that alone gives us a glimpse of the reality that God is so very holy and our brokenness is not something that we can ignore. We need redemption to be in communion with Him and set apart.

That’s what made the end of this chapter so mesmerizing. It reads, “The Lord said to Moses, ‘Tell Aaron and his sons, ‘This is how you are to bless the Israelites. Say to them: ‘The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make His face shine on you and be gracious to you; the Lord turn His face towards you and give you peace.’ So they will put my name on the Israelites, and I will bless them.'” (v. 22-27)

If you look back, God did not say only to speak this over those under the Nazirite vow. It was for His people, His broken and sinful people.

With the struggle of wanting to make a name for ourselves through a successful family, job, personal life, and even spiritual walk, it can be easy to forget one critical truth we see in this passage.

The blessing is from God because He loves us.

It is solely and completely His heart and decision that we experience any sort of grace or blessing. Our success or talents in life are not what determine our portion of God’s gifts of grace, mercy, or providence.

Our devotion surely matters, but not for the hope in greater benevolence from the Lord. It matters as it is how we can respond deeply in every aspect of our being to the love God has already shown us. What I mean is that true devotion; the giving up of time and resources spiritually, mentally, physically, and emotionally ought to be done out of reaction instead of wishful thinking.

We cannot serve enough, tithe enough, or preach enough to earn God’s love. Nothing we do will ever be enough. Yet the greatest news of all is He loves us still.

He loves us after we fall into sin. He loves us when we were battling doubt. He loves us when we are angry and confused. He loves us when we are burnt out.

He loves us so deeply and abundantly that His blessing is not just breath in our lungs right now but His very Spirit in our hearts. When we respond to the love poured out on the cross by Jesus with repentance of our wrongdoings and acceptance of His redemption, the Lord does not just stand at a distance and promise supervision of our lives. He makes a home in our hearts and in turn, we feel a grace, peace, love, purpose, and belonging any and everywhere.

But one of the toughest parts of reality is that the experience of God’s nearness is not delayed because of Him, but us.

We, with our closed off hearts, cynical mindsets, unexpectant perspectives, and complacent lifestyles are the reason we do not live every breath with confidence of the Lord’s love and longing for communion with us.

Devotion is not what earns us this love, but it is what gives our heart the opportunity to have its walls taken down by the gentle, yet mighty hand of God and allows our minds to be opened to the transformative desires of the Spirit.

My dear friend, how much longer will we live a life chasing the things that will but fade away with our last breath? I have grown weary of striving. Though I am not proud of the years I spent devoted to everything I thought would please the world or even the church, I am overwhelmed with joy that I see the ground beneath me is offered to the Lord as fertile ground now; available and open for whatever He pleases. When we begin devoting ourselves to the One who loved us to death and back, we will open our minds and hearts to a transformation no amount of striving could ever bring. Not by our own power or might, but by His grace and love alone. For that is just who He is.

Thoughts To Consider:

How might God use your unmet expectations to redirect your devotion?

Where in your life have you mistaken activity or works for intimacy with God?

What are you training your heart to love by how you spend your time?

Consider the gentleness of a God who asks for devotion, not to burden you, but to free you.

“The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make His face shine on you and be gracious to you; the Lord turn His face toward you and give you peace.” – Numbers 6:24-26