“Sometimes the best we can do is make the choice to act as if this life is a gift. That honors God. And if we make a practice of it, a practice of defying our anxiety and depression by getting out of bed and just giving a few moments of silent prayer of thanks for this life that maybe we still loathe – that pleases God. It gives hope to people you don’t even know. In time you’ll start to feel it, too, and if you don’t at least you did what was right.” – Alan Noble

The hard truth about seeking real healing is that sometimes, it requires breaking the bone again so that it can recover straight this time.

Last week I finished reading a book on managing your feelings. It paid respects to the reality of being a human without disregarding the responsibilities of a follower of Jesus. It was very intriguing, but if I am honest, there were parts of it that reminded me of the thoughts I used to have during times of great despair. I thought that would just reinforce the hopeful mindset I have been disciplining myself to recently, but I found it more common that my response was an aching for that old, comfortable place – a place where nothing could get worse, for I was already at the bottom of the pit.

As I was reading it, I battled with the desire to resort to my old ways whenever things went wrong; numbing, expecting disappointment, doing the bare minimum to accomplish daily tasks, and pushing away my time with God. It hadn’t hit me until many days passed when I realized others could notice a change. And as much as I wish I could say that challenged me to get out of the slump, it didn’t. It actually just made me more hopeless as I began to consider the healing that has been happening over the last couple of months was perhaps just a season of wishful thinking.

Even as I write this, every bone in my body and thought in my head has been trying to pull me back into the comfort of lying in bed and hiding from the weight of relaying God’s word to you on this blog.

Though the Holy Spirit is a sweet being…for all but One voice in me argues for resting in despair.

Recently I have been reading 1 Corinthians. Great insight can be found throughout every chapter, but one that has planted itself in my mind was the message of God’s desire for unity. You constantly see Paul express the importance of loving others, respecting others struggles with temptation, and the need for building peace among one another.

Now, I am no where near the most social person in the world, but I realize this isn’t about going out and telling every person you pass that, “JESUS LOVES YOU”. Surely that is a way to share God’s love, but let’s be real, I will never be that outgoing of an individual. Nor is that what scripture is telling us we must do. No, rather, what we see is Paul describe that every action, from our words, to our thoughts, to the way we dress and eat have the ability to glorify God and love on others. The overall message isn’t to be the loudest voice shouting “Jesus saves”, but the most disciplined and loving. And through our every action that is honorable to God, we make room for the heart of Christ to be reflected and open a door for the Holy Spirit to move in those around us.

I read a book called “On Getting Out of Bed” a while back. It is the one quoted at the top of this blog. The title may sound silly if you never endured a time of depression, but it was truly one of main sources of inspiration I found that led me to believe that the way things were, were not how they had to be.

It honestly threw me for a loop, because I started reading it expecting some great advice I could do for myself that would be inspiring enough to power me through the rest of my days, but such was not the complete case. Surely, there were great points on things pertaining ourselves, but it began with a reference from a book called “The Road”, a story of selfless love between a father and son. Through some incredible hardships, the father tells the son that the bravest thing he’s done was to get up this morning. Getting up – despite the risk of more trials, shame, fear, pain – even though he didn’t want to for himself…he did it for his son.

Using that story as a foundation for the perspective we should pursue, the book (“On Getting Out of Bed“) consistently pointed back to two main reasons we ought to not make our bed in the “comfortable” place of despair. First, was that the life we live was one God purposely created for His glory. Meaning, regardless of our feelings, for God, we have a duty of living honorably and in gratitude. And secondly, as a being that belongs to God, we have a duty of loving His creation; the people around us.

My dear friend, surely time will create a scar over our wounds and restore a connection between our broken bones. But that does not always mean it is healed in the way it should be. And when that happens, the only way to start really restoring what was broken is to dig back in the wound and clean out everything that was simply a mask for the pain. I was once told that realizing you are further back than you thought you were can be one of the most freeing things. I argued with that for a long time, but I believe now there is so much truth in that statement.

How much longer will you walk with a lame heart believing it is fine just because it’s not missing? It is surely frustrating and painful to face the reality of one’s brokenness, but it is the only place real growth can start from. You may argue that “it is okay”. You may believe your greatest place of safety is despair. But thank heavens, our life isn’t all about us. For those like myself would be stuck in a pit forever. It is not about what is comfortable, but what is right, honorable, and just. That kind of life, my friend, only can be lived when you seek the right thing, no matter the pain it may entail, because it is our duty; for honoring God and for loving them.

Thoughts to consider:

Is there any area of your life that you have allowed healing to happen through time and false remedies instead of through God?

Do you often consider the influence every one of your actions can have on those around you?

Would someone who never spoke to you directly be able to see the love of Christ through you – even during your greatest trials?

Consider the purpose God has for you in every season, and how much you could honor Him and love His people if you prioritized them over your feelings.

“Sometimes the best we can do is make the choice to act as if this life is a gift. That honors God. And if we make a practice of it, a practice of defying our anxiety and depression by getting out of bed and just giving a few moments of silent prayer of thanks for this life that maybe we still loathe – that pleases God. It gives hope to people you don’t even know. In time you’ll start to feel it, too, and if you don’t at least you did what was right.” – Alan Noble