“…let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another…” – Hebrews 10:24-25

In all honesty, community has always been a difficult area of my life. I did not grow up in the church, and when I did end up joining a group, I consistently felt out of place.

Outcasted. Not just because of our general differences, as middle schoolers tend to have, but mainly because of the lies I planted in my heart; that I was spiritually behind everyone else and, therefore, had no hope of ever being a part of a community pursuing growth together. I believed I was the weakest link and so I lived as though I was. Distant. Removed. Isolated, for the sake of not dragging others down in their faith.

It hurt to live this way. It was not what I wanted, but it was the only life I could see myself living without being a burden to those trying to live for Christ around me.

Fast forward to my college years, it was just as difficult, if not more, to find this community. There were kind-hearted people with genuinely good intentions all around me. But because of the seed of inadequacy that I had been cultivating for years now, I refused to pour authentic faith and hope into any form of community. Again, I thought, “I ought to spare those around me from feeling like they must stoop low to help me up.” In what I thought was a purely selfless act, I began living one of the most self-centered lifestyles I could.

“I don’t need community if I have Jesus. I can connect with Him myself.”

Deep down, I was simply a heart in great fear of rejection. I knew that community was encouraged through scripture and the church, but it was not until I began dissecting Paul’s work in a Bible class that I recognized the severity of warfare we face and the desperate need for fellowship that our hearts have.

Romans 7-8 talks a lot about the realities in our minds as our flesh ruthlessly attacks our hearts for Christ. Breaking this down, I finally saw that the individualistic mindset I developed regarding my walk with God was only sabotaging the potential depth of my relationship.

Community is not just encouraged…it is essential. Following Jesus calls us to unity, accountability, and disciplined character so that Christ may be glorified from our hearts to others.

My dear friend, as someone who has desperately tried to avoid tainting the walk of others due to an overwhelming feeling of shame…there is a different life, not bound by the chains of fear. Developing Christian friends, whom you learn to adopt as family, is one of the most challenging acts as it requires a lot of trust, understanding, and humility. But that risk is far more worth it than the risk of standing amidst spiritual warfare alone.

Let the pride crumble and the self-earning mindset come to rest. Jesus lived, died, and rose so that you may be called a Child among countless other misfits like yourself. Not because you deserve it, but because you needed it and God loves you too much to watch you get trampled in a war you would never be strong enough to win on your own.

So take the risk and join the church group. The Bible study you won’t know anyone at. And if you don’t see an opportunity to join one…make one yourself. Do whatever it takes to not give up on meeting together with believers. We all need the love and encouragement.